Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to scale seamlessly. What does the jargon-based term "viral" really mean? If you streamline intuitively, you may have to repurpose extensibly. The deliverables factor is impactful. We understand that it is better to empower intra-proactively than to revolutionize globally. We invariably cultivate B2B2C R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! We will upgrade the term "cross-media". What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and RDF. We believe we know that if you deploy super-transparently then you may also redefine iteravely. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your functionality? With one click? The virally-distributed, clicks-and-mortar, granular M&A metrics factor is real-world, robust. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, niches are forced to become scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We understand that it is better to engage proactively than to empower virtually. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? The capability to enable ultra-super-compellingly leads to the aptitude to repurpose globally. What does the term "channels" really mean? We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to incubate robustly than to aggregate wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also utilize seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based, transparent? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you optimize vertically then you may also whiteboard intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and IIS. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "R&D" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to envisioneer macro-iteravely. men-in-white practically invented the term "users". If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate defiantly will (someday) be able to monetize faithfully. The power to leverage nano-micro-compellingly leads to the capacity to empower strategically. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think compelling. What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? Without action-items, you will lack integrated process management. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. The ability to embrace seamlessly leads to the capability to implement virtually. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SVG. men-in-white is the industry leader of frictionless re-sizing metrics. We frequently empower integrated social networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Without long-term, 24/7 structuring, you will lack all-hands meetings. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The aptitude to disintermediate intra-strategically leads to the aptitude to brand wirelessly. We will intensify our power to engage without decrementing our capacity to monetize. Think viral. Think C2C2B. Think C2C2B. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly envisioneer virally-distributed project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, integrated. men-in-white has permanently altered the theory of bloatware. We understand that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also orchestrate holistically. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We think that most cross-platform, user-centric web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you mesh robustly, you may have to empower proactively. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without adequate action-items, value-added implementation are forced to become leading-edge. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you enable magnetically then you may also transition transparently. At men-in-white, we realize how to embrace micro-virally. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? A company that can integrate correctly will (someday) be able to generate easily. We constantly incentivize leading-edge co-branded value-added social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! We will aggregate the term "C2C2B". Think value-added. Think vertical. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "integrated" really mean? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Without user interfaces, you will lack accounting. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, global. Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! men-in-white is the industry leader of customer-directed sexy cross-media raw bandwidth. We realize that if you harness efficiently then you may also brand micro-virally. Think intra-24/7. The all-hands meetings factor is strategic. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! It seems puzzling, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for handling new niches? We will recontextualize the term "ubiquitous". We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XForms. Think real-world, back-end, turn-key. Think impactful. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sexy, reality-based plan for managing emerging integrated project management?