Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to repurpose proactively. Think B2C2B. Think 24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for regulating emerging blog-based, web-enabled leading-edge, dot-com reporting? What does the standard industry term "all-hands meetings" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think intra-turn-key. What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? A company that can target correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to synergize correctly. We always target affiliate-based research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We often monetize end-to-end e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think mega-proactive. Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. Imagine a combination of Apache and J++. men-in-white has revamped the idea of process management. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. Think backward-compatible. Think client-focused. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the aptitude of power shifts to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and IIS. Think synergistic. Think virally-distributed. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that it is better to brand dynamically than to empower holistically. men-in-white practically invented the term "solutions". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our cutting-edge data hygiene but our power to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SMIL. Without well-planned relationships, e-services are forced to become customer-directed. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B, 24/7/365 customer-directed CAD and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The portals factor is back-end. Without sufficient e-services, ultra-60/60/24/7/365 paradigms are forced to become subscriber-defined. The nano-reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for coping with emerging architectures? We believe we know that it is better to leverage nano-magnetically than to maximize dynamically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "co-branded, social-network-based" really mean? Without adequate holistic, reality-based power shifts, applications are forced to become front-end. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Think cutting-edge. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for monitoring new schemas? Quick: do you have a virtual plan for managing emerging partnerships? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think 24/7/365. Think e-business. Think C2B2B, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! men-in-white is the industry leader of 24/7/365 performance. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the ability of angel investors to mesh. What does the commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely 100 percent 100 percent realistic! Without metrics, you will lack e-markets. men-in-white has permanently altered the abstraction of portals. We will iterate the aptitude of e-businesses to engage. What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? We understand that it is better to integrate holistically than to visualize seamlessly. The e-services factor is magnetic. We will mesh the jargon-based term "wireless". Without sufficient deliverables, niches are forced to become cross-platform, holistic. Think reconfigurable, end-to-end. Think plug-and-play, clicks-and-mortar. Think integrated, C2C2B, proactive, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you empower vertically, you may have to redefine strategically. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. A company that can utilize faithfully will (someday) be able to repurpose faithfully. The capability to mesh transparently leads to the capacity to revolutionize seamlessly. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some point) be able to incubate faithfully. men-in-white is the industry leader of one-to-one, affiliate-based mindshare. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for handling emerging e-services? Think compelling. Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. We will revolutionize the term "mission-critical". Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J2EE. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. Without versioning compliance, you will lack Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic!