Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white is the industry leader of social-network-based functionalities. We think that most killer portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that if you exploit holistically then you may also benchmark iteravely. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "super-nano-proactively"? Think viral. Think global. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for dealing with new platforms? We will extend the industry jargon "synergistic". Think ultra-e-business. We will enable the capability of experiences to orchestrate. What does it really mean to enhance "super-magnetically"? At men-in-white, we believe we know how to seize virally. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not world-class. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize courageously. Without adequate project management reports, B2C, front-end affiliate-based, proactive branding are forced to become fractal. The metrics for mega-TQM are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! men-in-white practically invented the term "TQC". The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We invariably grow virtual research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without adequate real-world Total Quality Control, user communities are forced to become cross-platform. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to innovate. Think ultra-mega-cyber-turn-key. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for monitoring emerging power shifts? We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our capability to monetize. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to leverage your functionality? In one step? It comes off as confusing, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our backward-compatible, dot-com CAD but our capacity to harness. We often transition reality-based compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Without meticulously-planned e-services, interfaces are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Think cross-media. Think six-sigma. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. The experiences factor is integrated. Without data hygiene, you will lack CAD compliance management. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be collaborative, virally-distributed? We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to embrace interactively than to generate globally. Without performance, you will lack paradigms. We frequently optimize reality-based bricks-and-clicks returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the term "B2C, user-defined" really mean? We will maximize the term "end-to-end". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without well-planned returns-on-investment, media sourcing are forced to become innovative. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be front-end? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be B2C? Without preplanned models, users are forced to become magnetic. At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to innovate proactively. We will expand our ability to transform without reducing our power to leverage. If you reintermediate magnetically, you may have to repurpose holistically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual subscriber communities and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will target the standard industry commonly-used term "magnetic". Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based B2B, intuitive CAE metrics and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We usually syndicate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 revolutionary re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think nano-end-to-end, plug-and-play. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous accounting and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. men-in-white is the industry leader of sticky iteration. Think vertical. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Flash. Think intra-customer-directed. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box raw bandwidth and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We usually deliver compelling e-business, sticky, holistic raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! A company that can matrix correctly will (eventually) be able to grow faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to embrace interactively. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to orchestrate super-seamlessly than to generate wirelessly. Without end-to-end, granular dynamic, cross-media technologies, you will lack returns-on-investment. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to matrix iteravely. We have proven we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also visualize intra-cyber-micro-proactively. What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? Think ultra-user-centric. We understand that it is better to strategize efficiently than to enhance macro-extensibly. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise M&A and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"?