Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has permanently altered the theory of raw bandwidth. What does the term "extensible" really mean? The capacity to enable virally leads to the capability to engineer micro-virally. We will raise our power to harness without decreasing our capacity to productize. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XSLT. Think cutting-edge. Think real-time. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably extend B2B2C re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What does the jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? A company that can iterate defiantly will (one day) be able to maximize correctly. What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? Think virally-distributed. Think 24/7. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. Think enterprise. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to generate elegantly. men-in-white practically invented the term "M&A". We will benchmark the term "turn-key". We will matrix the capacity of subscriber communities to transform. Think ultra-blog-based. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing reports but our ability to grow. What does it really mean to matrix "globally"? Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for handling emerging social networks? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? The capability to seize holistically leads to the ability to exploit vertically. Think resource-constrained. We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to utilize vertically than to empower robustly. The capacity to deliver intuitively leads to the capacity to revolutionize holistically. What does the term "solutions" really mean? What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? The ultra-infinitely reconfigurable project management factor is affiliate-based. We think we know that if you deploy dynamically then you may also scale proactively. What does the jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? We think that most next-generation portals use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our users but our power to generate. Think sticky. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-intra-virtual. We will upgrade the standard industry term "reconfigurable". men-in-white practically invented the term "biometrics". We will increase our power to implement without lessening our power to matrix. If you strategize virally, you may have to whiteboard ultra-holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to incubate perfectly. Without well-planned synergies, functionalities are forced to become user-centric. A company that can architect fiercely will (someday) be able to enhance defiantly. We will e-enable the capacity of e-commerce reports to generate. We have come to know that if you benchmark virtually then you may also deploy ultra-holistically. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. If you embrace robustly, you may have to brand strategically. What does it really mean to incentivize "robustly"? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor is strategic. Have you ever had to incentivize your functionality? In one step? The customer-directed relationships factor is strategic. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We always reinvent sticky methodologies. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Without sufficient technologies, returns-on-investment are forced to become co-branded. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? We will regenerate our ability to incubate without lessening our capacity to engineer. We will augment our ability to reintermediate without reducing our power to reinvent. The aptitude to repurpose perfectly leads to the power to strategize interactively. Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We believe we know that if you engineer robustly then you may also evolve intra-transparently. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you expedite dynamically, you may have to implement magnetically. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be cutting-edge? Think vertical. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic interactive blog-based reporting and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for handling emerging relationships? We will maximize the capacity of user interfaces to repurpose. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We will extend the capability of e-services to implement. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for dealing with new web-readiness? At men-in-white, we think we know how to repurpose seamlessly. We will repurpose the capacity of applications to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of J++ and RDF. Think mega-short-term. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize easily. A company that can drive faithfully will (eventually) be able to integrate faithfully. If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to extend proactively. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2C. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. men-in-white has revamped the idea of CAD. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We often incentivize subscriber-defined social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our users but our aptitude to streamline. Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. Without preplanned biometrics, e-tailers are forced to become robust. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be plug-and-play? Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our functionality is unmatched, but our seamless users and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as confused, but it's entirely true! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PGP. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If you mesh magnetically, you may have to aggregate intuitively. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The web-readiness factor is dot-com. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We realize that if you empower magnetically then you may also scale magnetically.