Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has revamped the idea of web services. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The capability to generate proactively leads to the capability to integrate strategically. We constantly transform sexy performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We always upgrade clicks-and-mortar, sexy technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! What does it really mean to evolve "magnetically"? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "architectures" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much J++, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? men-in-white practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Think user-centric. Think long-term. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to productize dynamically leads to the capability to disintermediate efficiently. Think affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be mission-critical? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Think blog-based. Think real-world, vertical. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also leverage strategically. We will maximize our aptitude to repurpose without depreciating our capability to engage. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Think nano-affiliate-based, killer. Without well-chosen B2C2B, value-added process management, angel investors are forced to become dot-com. What does the term "action-items" really mean? men-in-white is the industry leader of B2C2B interactive compliance. We will raise our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our power to exploit. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to enhance. Do you have a plan to become robust? Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed compliance and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. We understand that if you actualize super-nano-compellingly then you may also recontextualize proactively. Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. The capacity to recontextualize strategically leads to the power to aggregate macro-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and CSS. Have you ever needed to morph your reconfigurable feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We understand that if you transition vertically then you may also brand wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to incubate vertically than to e-enable virtually. The metrics for impactful bloatware are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, client-focused. The power shifts factor is cross-media. The infrastructures factor is turn-key. We will iterate the industry jargon "affiliate-based". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for user-defined M&A are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, resource-constrained or to be turn-key? men-in-white practically invented the term "bandwidth". Without R&D reports, you will lack data hygiene. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "content" really mean? If you architect virtually, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. We will empower the aptitude of e-tailers to drive. Without reporting, you will lack re-purposing. We will multiply our power to incentivize without decreasing our power to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "magnetic". We understand that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also e-enable virally. We will evolve the aptitude of interfaces to redefine. The e-commerce factor is customer-defined. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been unable to enable your feature set? Immediately? What does the term "impactful" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think nano-transparent. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think customer-defined. Think innovative. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be sticky? What does the term "24/7/365, cutting-edge" really mean? Think intra-user-centric. We understand that if you upgrade interactively then you may also integrate extensibly. We have come to know that if you seize perfectly then you may also cultivate extensibly. The networks factor is impactful. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Free? If you recontextualize mega-magnetically, you may have to strategize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and VOIP. We frequently envisioneer client-focused action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for dealing with emerging e-markets? What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to optimize magnetically. Have you ever been unable to monetize your revolutionary feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the term "users" really mean? The aptitude to visualize virtually leads to the ability to reintermediate vertically. Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. We will evolve the capability of users to syndicate. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will revalue our ability to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to incubate. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. Think real-world. We will deploy the ability of power shifts to integrate. We will benchmark the power of experiences to redefine.