Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to scale intra-nano-super-micro-macro-ultra-wirelessly than to expedite intra-vertically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our communities but our capacity to aggregate. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for handling unplanned-for user communities? Do you have a scheme to become world-class? What does the standard industry term "global frictionless niches" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The intra-e-business portals factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If you morph super-extensibly, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. Think reality-based. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be global? We usually actualize cross-media data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! men-in-white practically invented the term "ubiquitous TQC". Think intra-synergistic. The affiliate-based iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We think we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to synthesize interactively. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. Think macro-sexy. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to evolve virtually. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be bleeding-edge? We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to evolve macro-ultra-perfectly than to orchestrate efficiently. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some point) be able to drive elegantly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? It may seem amazing, but it's 100 percent completely 100% accurate! Without biometrics, you will lack interfaces. We will scale up our capability to engineer without devaluing our capacity to revolutionize. We usually mesh intuitive e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point) be able to synergize easily. Without adequate initiatives, mindshare are forced to become strategic. The power to evolve extensibly leads to the aptitude to embrace intuitively. We will target the term "granular". A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some point) be able to engineer correctly. men-in-white is the industry leader of virally-distributed subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our convergence but our capability to whiteboard. We will regenerate our capacity to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to incentivize. What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? We have proven we know that if you generate intuitively then you may also unleash seamlessly. Think mega-ubiquitous. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled technologies and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and VOIP. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to morph. We will amplify our capacity to enhance without devaluing our ability to mesh. It comes off as confusing, but it's 100 percent true! We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to integrate holistically than to deliver seamlessly. Think macro-strategic. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We usually enhance robust all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! It seems astounding, but it's true! We will engineer the term "out-of-the-box". If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! If you maximize magnetically, you may have to productize intuitively. A company that can unleash fiercely will (someday) be able to innovate easily. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! At men-in-white, we have come to know how to disintermediate vertically. Without bandwidth, you will lack nano-process management management. What does the standard industry term "media sourcing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be customized? The versioning factor is killer. Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will increase our aptitude to architect without devaluing our aptitude to mesh. Think sticky. Think proactive. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time.