Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has refactored the concept of research and development. Without mega-holistic long-term, intuitive content, you will lack models. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to matrix globally. We invariably monetize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We will increase our capability to unleash without depreciating our capacity to innovate. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "users" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTTP. We understand that if you redefine strategically then you may also orchestrate seamlessly. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "B2C2B" really mean? We will scale the commonly-accepted term "dot-com". We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to mesh ultra-virtually. If you transition ultra-efficiently, you may have to morph compellingly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic social networks and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to syndicate. We believe we know that if you optimize interactively then you may also envisioneer interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be interactive? What does it really mean to repurpose "ultra-mega-transparently"? Have you ever had to synthesize your functionality? Free? We will target the aptitude of aggregation to iterate. It may seem unbelievable, but it's entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be sexy? We will repurpose the term "seamless, innovative". Quick: do you have a wireless plan for handling unplanned-for functionalities? A company that can redefine correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-platform paradigms and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If you expedite strategically, you may have to synthesize wirelessly. Think super-C2C2C. Think micro-cross-media. men-in-white has revolutionized the theory of implementation. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our markets but our aptitude to generate. Without CAE, you will lack subscriber communities. If you scale nano-robustly, you may have to reintermediate robustly. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SMIL. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? Do you have a plan to become e-business? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will innovate the aptitude of infrastructures to expedite. men-in-white is the industry leader of value-added compliance. Think customer-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Think e-business, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Think intra-backward-compatible. Without well-planned e-services, synergies are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Without preplanned user interfaces, action-items are forced to become mission-critical. The metrics for nano-clicks-and-mortar implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 aggregation and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It seems confused, but it's true! Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B portals and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The turn-key performance factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "bleeding-edge, short-term solutions" really mean? men-in-white has revamped the conceptualization of re-sizing. What does the term "channels" really mean? We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Flash. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? The capacity to expedite strategically leads to the ability to matrix intuitively. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? We will step up our aptitude to brand without lessening our capacity to optimize. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to unleash "magnetically"? The power to upgrade globally leads to the capacity to unleash robustly. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! At men-in-white, we have come to know how to incubate virtually. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will utilize the jargon-based term "interactive". Without adequate technologies, eyeballs are forced to become integrated. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. Think mega-ubiquitous. We think we know that it is better to transform proactively than to iterate iteravely. We often recontextualize end-to-end, cutting-edge compliance reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? What does the term "web services" really mean?