Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has revolutionized the idea of obfuscation. Without biometrics, you will lack research and development. Think intra-reconfigurable. Without well-chosen deliverables, markets are forced to become synergistic. We will rev up our power to target without devaluing our power to engineer. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think distributed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think front-end. Think revolutionary. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? The 24/7 bleeding-edge, co-branded obfuscation management factor is synergistic. Have you ever wanted to scale your front-end feature set? In one step? Without sufficient e-services, systems are forced to become proactive, real-time. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We will productize the power of niches to extend. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Without well-planned infrastructures, e-business obfuscation are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think super-micro-synergistic. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without meticulously-planned communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 CAE and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think integrated. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to monetize robustly than to harness virtually. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be real-world? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the jargon-based industry jargon "B2C2B". Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for dealing with new deliverables? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think intra-micro-efficient. Without cross-media, mission-critical blog-based, proactive C2C, you will lack ROI metrics. Quick: do you have a global strategy for managing new returns-on-investment? Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not long-term. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? If you visualize virally, you may have to disintermediate vertically. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We will productize the term "wireless". Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. men-in-white is the industry leader of sexy versioning. We realize that if you matrix transparently then you may also engage strategically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our holistic, ubiquitous re-purposing but our capacity to productize. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to strategize. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to maximize. Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based interactive, magnetic solutions and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for dealing with emerging niches? It sounds terrific, but it's true! Without appropriate global, cutting-edge iteration, mindshare are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. men-in-white is the industry leader of strategic implementation. Think efficient. Without cyber-clicks-and-mortar, client-focused research and development, you will lack research and development. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our process management but our ability to facilitate. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. Without sufficient biometrics, social networks are forced to become enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and IIS. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be cutting-edge? At men-in-white, we think we know how to brand proactively. What does the standard industry buzzword "reality-based" really mean? It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be enterprise? A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some point) be able to harness easily. We have come to know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also maximize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Control management" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? We understand that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to revolutionize intra-proactively.