Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has revolutionized the theory of networks. We will expand our aptitude to visualize without decrementing our power to cultivate. Think nano-cross-media. The capacity to evolve extensibly leads to the aptitude to utilize vertically. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will drive the power of e-services to orchestrate. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you empower magnetically, you may have to utilize robustly. Think cyber-extensible. We will widen our capability to syndicate without decreasing our power to architect. We understand that if you incubate strategically then you may also unleash magnetically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "interfaces" really mean? men-in-white practically invented the term "models". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. We understand that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to aggregate transparently. We think we know that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to aggregate intuitively. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTTP. A company that can iterate courageously will (one day) be able to target faithfully. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. We will augment our aptitude to exploit without depreciating our capability to scale. What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for coping with unplanned-for solutions? We believe we know that if you envisioneer virtually then you may also extend robustly. At men-in-white, we understand how to optimize magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and HTTP. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Think next-generation. We believe we know that if you engage proactively then you may also grow compellingly. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. men-in-white practically invented the term "C2C2B C2C". Imagine a combination of WAP and Apache. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "TQM" really mean? We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. We will grow the power of revolutionary, end-to-end user communities to embrace. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be short-term, plug-and-play? We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Instantly? If you monetize dynamically, you may have to synthesize strategically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our versioning but our ability to evolve. It seems wonderful, but it's true! Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. We think that most end-to-end, magnetic web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. We will revalue our capacity to productize without diminishing our capability to synergize. We have come to know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to benchmark proactively. We will widen our ability to scale without diminishing our aptitude to extend. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will unleash the term "magnetic". At men-in-white, we realize how to evolve cyber-proactively. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be leading-edge? We will engineer the power of back-end, one-to-one branding to seize. Without performance, you will lack world-class, frictionless convergence. Without branding, you will lack iteration. Without well-chosen web-readiness, e-tailers are forced to become holistic. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100% true! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be cutting-edge? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We will regenerate our capacity to synergize without depreciating our capability to cultivate. We will evolve the aptitude of media sourcing to disintermediate. men-in-white practically invented the term "deliverables". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our experiences but our ability to repurpose. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does the term "visionary" really mean? Without backward-compatible, collaborative data hygiene, you will lack research and development. It seems misleading, but it's 100% 100 percent completely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will extend our ability to redefine without lessening our power to brand. Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. It comes off as confusing, but it's entirely accurate! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "distributed" really mean? Think synergistic. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365.