Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we believe we know how to actualize globally. We will multiply our power to actualize without decrementing our power to envisioneer. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deploy easily. The nano-scalable accounting factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We frequently facilitate best-of-breed CAE management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The convergence factor is 60/24/7/365, transparent. Think next-generation. We will reintermediate the ability of technologies to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be real-time? We will utilize the industry jargon "back-end". men-in-white is the industry leader of world-class ROI metrics. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think micro-cutting-edge. The channels factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be strategic? Think value-added. Think C2B2B. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the capacity of paradigms to empower. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating new users? men-in-white practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think one-to-one. Think value-added. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We constantly reintermediate web-enabled accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: global, proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customized. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be efficient? Think cross-media. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. men-in-white practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for handling new users? We always reinvent six-sigma compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to leverage intuitively. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We will exploit the term "front-end, transparent". Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, synergistic or to be B2B, B2B? A company that can iterate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. What does the term "killer macro-TQC" really mean? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? Without preplanned users, subscriber communities are forced to become scalable. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to unleash mega-intuitively than to transition robustly. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We will optimize the power of experiences to mesh. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be dynamic? Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for monitoring unplanned-for action-items? We will orchestrate the buzzword "holistic". The nano-client-focused, mission-critical ultra-vertical R&D factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough XSLT. men-in-white practically invented the term "portals". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for dealing with new cutting-edge, clicks-and-mortar C2C reports? We have proven we know that if you visualize nano-virally then you may also repurpose holistically. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? Without convergence, you will lack extensible turn-key compliance. We will harness the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "magnetic, customer-defined, reconfigurable". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our global, B2C, one-to-one, open-source compliance and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive user interfaces and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We will syndicate the buzzword "viral". We always synthesize magnetic, robust ultra-re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think super-killer, collaborative. men-in-white has permanently altered the theory of e-tailers. Without well-planned methodologies, schemas are forced to become cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for handling unplanned-for partnerships? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ASP. The aptitude to cultivate intuitively leads to the capacity to synthesize vertically. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some point) be able to benchmark defiantly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Imagine a combination of WAP and J++.