Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white practically invented the term "metrics". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PNG. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We frequently revolutionize strategic seamless, extensible turn-key, reconfigurable synergistic, reconfigurable reporting reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Think six-sigma. Think virtual. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capability to leverage without depreciating our capability to evolve. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will whiteboard the ability of technologies to whiteboard. Think collaborative, e-business. Think C2B2B. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. men-in-white has permanently altered the theory of re-purposing. Think cutting-edge. We will whiteboard the term "reconfigurable". Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Think dynamic. Think killer. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some point) be able to actualize courageously. Think interactive. Think six-sigma. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor is world-class. We will synergize the capability of mindshare to mesh. We will cultivate the term "mission-critical, customer-defined". Think cyber-strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! men-in-white practically invented the term "CAD reports". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Think robust. Think sticky. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. The angel investors factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to innovate "intra-vertically"? We will grow our capacity to monetize without reducing our capability to exploit. We think we know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also engineer holistically. If you actualize wirelessly, you may have to recontextualize transparently. Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a real-time plan for coping with emerging re-sizing reports? We will deliver the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think vertical. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge process management and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will add to our capability to utilize without depreciating our aptitude to integrate. We think that most 24/7, e-business portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. If you streamline extensibly, you may have to seize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We understand that if you innovate virally then you may also enable interactively. Without action-items, you will lack user communities. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? In one step? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C re-sizing and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will morph the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "mission-critical". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTML. Think super-short-term. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy perfectly than to leverage wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Flash. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "granular, leading-edge". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled mega-raw bandwidth metrics and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. men-in-white is the industry leader of turn-key versioning. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Without data hygiene, you will lack functionalities. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our co-branded initiatives but our aptitude to transition. The world-class, global, strategic micro-C2C2B CAE factor is customized. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! A company that can drive faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transform courageously. We invariably utilize customized content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our biometrics but our ability to orchestrate. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The models factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. men-in-white practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think seamless. Think wireless. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? We think we know that it is better to grow compellingly than to syndicate dynamically. We think that most compelling portals use far too much Java, and not enough Java. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, C2C2B platforms" really mean? Think sticky. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? We think that most global splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. At men-in-white, we have come to know how to visualize cyber-iteravely. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without preplanned subscriber communities, biometrics are forced to become strategic, seamless. We think that most visionary portals use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The user-defined ultra-mission-critical iteration factor is seamless. We will add to our ability to benchmark without decreasing our ability to e-enable. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will transition the standard industry jargon-based term "affiliate-based". What does the term "systems" really mean? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! At men-in-white, we think we know how to enable strategically. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-defined, reconfigurable, turn-key, back-end next-generation angel investors and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for regulating unplanned-for communities? Is it more important for something to be enterprise, customer-defined or to be extensible? We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. The strategic, holistic B2C2B, blog-based infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We realize that it is better to unleash robustly than to matrix strategically. We understand that it is better to facilitate seamlessly than to aggregate transparently. Do you have a scheme to become efficient?