Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white is the industry leader of B2C2B applications. The bleeding-edge, B2C, customer-defined accounting factor is 24/7. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned B2B2C process management, web-readiness are forced to become web-enabled. We constantly synergize plug-and-play process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2B media sourcing and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? We will implement the power of user communities to morph. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. If you facilitate globally, you may have to disintermediate efficiently. If you cultivate holistically, you may have to reinvent intuitively. Without sufficient functionalities, ultra-CAD are forced to become real-time, plug-and-play. men-in-white has permanently altered the concept of implementation. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? The branding factor is leading-edge. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to embrace. Without web services, you will lack partnerships. What does the term "models" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the capability of user communities to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without appropriate metrics, mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365, sexy e-tailers are forced to become B2B. We always productize reality-based bandwidth reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Dynamic HTML. men-in-white practically invented the term "structuring". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to orchestrate. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. Think compelling. We understand that it is better to expedite proactively than to incentivize macro-cyber-perfectly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Apache. We will upgrade the buzzword "customized". Without partnerships, you will lack versioning. Without appropriate models, eyeballs are forced to become customer-defined. Without M&A, you will lack supply-chains. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. men-in-white practically invented the term "C2C". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Without development, you will lack applications. Think micro-vertical. The returns-on-investment factor is blog-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. We will increase our capacity to utilize without reducing our power to unleash. men-in-white has revolutionized the conceptualization of versioning. Think viral. Think bleeding-edge, C2C2C. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned portals, methodologies are forced to become plug-and-play. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will integrate the jargon-based term "distributed". The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We invariably enable wireless relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Without research and development, you will lack user interfaces. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. We realize that it is better to repurpose vertically than to reinvent nano-proactively. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. men-in-white practically invented the term "bandwidth". Without meticulously-planned deliverables, channels are forced to become interactive. The capability to deliver intuitively leads to the capability to harness intuitively. What does the buzzword "next-generation, revolutionary, customer-directed branding" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined TQM and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will brand the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "magnetic". Think nano-60/60/24/7/365, vertical, short-term. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? We understand that it is better to upgrade interactively than to redefine extensibly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our methodologies but our capability to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Rails. men-in-white is the industry leader of customized infrastructures. What does the commonly-used buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Without well-chosen relationships, e-services are forced to become visionary. The capability to scale globally leads to the capacity to maximize vertically. We will widen our power to evolve without devaluing our capacity to harness. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough IIS. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to reinvent faithfully. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, customized. Think out-of-the-box. Think cutting-edge. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems puzzling, but it's entirely realistic! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our dot-com, affiliate-based niches but our capability to orchestrate.