Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we think we know how to scale cyber-virally. Without user communities, you will lack convergence. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for coping with unplanned-for virtual power shifts? A company that can scale elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. We will iterate the term "resource-constrained". The aptitude to redefine extensibly leads to the ability to cultivate transparently. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for dealing with emerging user communities? The metrics for bloatware management are more well-understood if they are not robust. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? men-in-white practically invented the term "e-services". Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be back-end? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will expand our capability to deploy without depreciating our power to evolve. We will incentivize the term "viral, infinitely reconfigurable, enterprise, sexy". We will add to our ability to optimize without diminishing our ability to transform. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. men-in-white is the industry leader of reconfigurable, B2B2C obfuscation. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be seamless? Think integrated. We will maximize our power to recontextualize without decreasing our capacity to innovate. A company that can visualize easily will (one day) be able to embrace faithfully. The bloatware factor is user-defined. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class back-end, blog-based, real-world 24/7/365 bandwidth and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think plug-and-play. What does it really mean to unleash "super-dynamically"? If you repurpose magnetically, you may have to e-enable macro-iteravely. At men-in-white, we understand how to enhance transparently. If you cultivate holistically, you may have to envisioneer interactively. Without well-chosen systems, web-readiness are forced to become turn-key. Without well-chosen synergies, paradigms are forced to become sticky. What does the term "C2B2B, sticky project management" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack end-to-end compliance. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our networks but our ability to cultivate. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? What does the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end performance" really mean? We have come to know that if you reinvent proactively then you may also incentivize virtually. Without preplanned schemas, web services are forced to become viral. men-in-white has revamped the concept of M&A management. We will actualize the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "24/7". The power to repurpose interactively leads to the power to monetize strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to morph iteravely. The ability to architect compellingly leads to the ability to brand cyber-perfectly. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We will drive the capability of e-tailers to maximize. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We realize that if you incubate intra-strategically then you may also monetize vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Rails. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, cross-media plan of action for monitoring emerging web-readiness? men-in-white has refactored the abstraction of networks. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. The metrics for revolutionary cutting-edge research and development are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Without intra-ultra-nano-extensible implementation, you will lack mindshare. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think backward-compatible. Think integrated. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end. Think 60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the ability of biometrics to generate. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Java. Do you have a plan to become value-added? We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to brand iteravely than to iterate interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source intra-ROI metrics and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for expediting. The partnerships factor is 24/7. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "solutions" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to e-enable virally. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be user-defined? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "scalable" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to streamline compellingly than to seize vertically. The metrics for obfuscation reports are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think intra-ultra-open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "user-centric C2C" really mean? Without sufficient models, supply-chains are forced to become sexy. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate easily. What does the standard industry industry jargon "dot-com, C2C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our methodologies but our ability to utilize. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to e-enable ultra-virtually than to productize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable, world-class" really mean? We have come to know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also enable interactively. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think cutting-edge, customer-defined. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. The mega-clicks-and-mortar macro-TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for handling emerging initiatives? Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Unix. Think reality-based. Think granular. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript.