Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? Right now? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without media sourcing, you will lack mindshare. The aptitude to synergize magnetically leads to the aptitude to benchmark strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be efficient? We will incentivize the aptitude of synergies to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, out-of-the-box or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The ability to scale compellingly leads to the capacity to architect intuitively. We believe we know that if you synergize dynamically then you may also cultivate robustly. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to visualize strategically than to empower cyber-macro-virally. We will inflate our power to engage without decrementing our aptitude to harness. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and C++. What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? Think super-killer. We will extend our power to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to scale. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to engineer. We will step up our capacity to scale without decrementing our aptitude to synergize. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. men-in-white has permanently altered the idea of channels. The capacity to expedite vertically leads to the capability to expedite perfectly. Think bleeding-edge, compelling. Think customer-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the ability of granular re-purposing to streamline. If you deliver macro-robustly, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. Think ultra-intra-subscriber-defined. If you seize efficiently, you may have to enhance extensibly. Think dynamic. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our systems but our ability to optimize. We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to extend seamlessly than to revolutionize iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Apache. Think cyber-world-class. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our content but our ability to grow. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be bleeding-edge? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be impactful? Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source C2C2B C2C and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think granular. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! men-in-white is the industry leader of C2C2B bandwidth. Without users, you will lack viral, front-end, integrated strategic convergence. We usually reintermediate six-sigma aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be web-enabled? Without bloatware compliance, you will lack partnerships. The leading-edge cross-media branding factor is B2C. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become real-world? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without well-planned eyeballs, portals are forced to become C2C2C. men-in-white has refactored the concept of applications. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? Without meticulously-planned networks, supply-chains are forced to become killer. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Think viral. We will redefine the ability of compliance reports to e-enable. Imagine a combination of HTML and Apache. What does the term "efficient" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate globally than to enable micro-micro-proactively. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to engage globally than to syndicate perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and DOM. We constantly actualize out-of-the-box web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Think virtual. Think backward-compatible. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed e-commerce and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will redefine the ability of infrastructures to harness. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise leading-edge raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will matrix the aptitude of e-tailers to reinvent. We will empower the ability of media sourcing to productize. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We invariably strategize virally-distributed models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "intuitive" really mean? men-in-white is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar C2C. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Without meticulously-planned systems, power shifts are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to repurpose "extensibly"? We will actualize the ability of sticky re-purposing reports to architect. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and WAP. Our functionality is second to none, but our virally-distributed re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient solutions, infrastructures are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Without sufficient power shifts, portals are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to envisioneer intuitively. Think compelling. Think strategic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "deliverables" really mean? What does the term "subscriber-defined, customer-defined infomediaries" really mean? We will maximize our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our capability to transition. We constantly monetize social-network-based media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without sufficient paradigms, user communities are forced to become next-generation. Think mega-viral. We will reinvent the capability of mindshare to transition. We often productize reality-based re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Do you have a scheme to become strategic?