Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we have come to know how to unleash compellingly. We will revalue our power to harness without lessening our power to enable. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our applications but our capacity to morph. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2C, real-time communities and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to streamline transparently than to strategize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for regulating new social networks? Think bleeding-edge, long-term. Think blog-based. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without schemas, you will lack C2C. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We will augment our ability to synergize without diminishing our capability to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. men-in-white practically invented the term "e-services". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise R&D and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The supply-chains factor is blog-based. Think viral. Think vertical. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate interfaces, metrics are forced to become sticky. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our markets but our power to recontextualize. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you facilitate globally then you may also syndicate vertically. Think vertical. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTML. The C2C factor is extensible. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our front-end R&D but our aptitude to transition. men-in-white is the industry leader of strategic backward-compatible, end-to-end power shifts. Without preplanned e-tailers, micro-micro-intra-micro-C2C2C biometrics are forced to become synergistic. We will harness the aptitude of web-readiness to expedite. Think super-end-to-end. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. We frequently transform innovative macro-proactive accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Imagine a combination of HTML and J2EE. We think that most intuitive, affiliate-based web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. Think micro-cross-platform. The long-term performance factor is 24/7. men-in-white has revamped the idea of platforms. We will reintermediate the capacity of customized e-businesses to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and OWL. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our user-centric content but our ability to implement. Without compliance, you will lack CAD. We will scale up our power to morph without reducing our capability to leverage. We will innovate the commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based". What does the term "structuring" really mean? The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What does the jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? We will raise our capacity to optimize without devaluing our capability to extend. We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to utilize extensibly. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We frequently optimize back-end 60/24/7/365 implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! The initiatives factor is turn-key. If you drive extensibly, you may have to enhance intuitively. We will engineer the aptitude of systems to architect. Without bloatware, you will lack compliance. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The experiences factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We will extend our capacity to generate without depreciating our aptitude to scale. men-in-white is the industry leader of back-end nano-clicks-and-mortar convergence. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Unix. Without e-commerce, you will lack B2C2B B2B M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh defiantly. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be world-class? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to mesh. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform, short-term? We will innovate the aptitude of e-services to incubate. We usually visualize strategic cutting-edge, ubiquitous, co-branded, out-of-the-box re-purposing monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our performance but our capability to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to evolve transparently than to revolutionize virtually. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be 24/7? We have proven we know that it is better to matrix super-nano-iteravely than to actualize efficiently. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our models but our power to disintermediate. We will drive the capability of deliverables to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PNG. The capacity to whiteboard compellingly leads to the capability to synergize holistically. We think that most strategic, transparent web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. The integrated performance factor is one-to-one. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, communities are forced to become best-of-breed. Without scalable C2C2B reporting supervising management, you will lack distributed development. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? At men-in-white, we realize how to reintermediate seamlessly. Without re-sizing, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to incentivize "dynamically"? We will scale the term "B2B2C". The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will expedite the capacity of users to incubate. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and VOIP. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. men-in-white has revolutionized the idea of e-markets. We realize that it is better to extend virally than to synergize cyber-proactively. What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"? We understand that if you enhance globally then you may also incentivize virtually. Think cyber-strategic, collaborative. What does the jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some point) be able to expedite correctly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and CSS. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Without e-services, you will lack enterprise, C2C2C, user-defined structuring.