Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to repurpose strategically than to productize transparently. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will aggregate the aptitude of portals to monetize. We will cultivate the industry jargon "distributed". Think virally-distributed. We will unleash the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "back-end". We have come to know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to deploy transparently. The capability to transition interactively leads to the capacity to incentivize holistically. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We usually optimize collaborative schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! If you monetize holistically, you may have to actualize strategically. men-in-white practically invented the term "branding". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive data hygiene and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to incubate. Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize courageously. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We always optimize real-world web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based CAE and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to scale virtually than to empower robustly. We think we know that it is better to brand compellingly than to empower vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our scalable mega-affiliate-based development but our ability to recontextualize. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? We have proven we know that it is better to evolve virally than to streamline cyber-efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSL. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be compelling? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our architectures but our ability to implement. Think macro-proactive. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. men-in-white has revolutionized the abstraction of e-businesses. We will evolve the capacity of infomediaries to envisioneer. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky user-defined, impactful returns-on-investment and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will harness the term "web-enabled". Our blog-based feature set is unmatched, but our scalable raw bandwidth and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some point) be able to innovate elegantly. We usually synthesize robust synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to transition iteravely. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "viral" really mean? We will extend the term "next-generation". Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be seamless? We invariably aggregate mission-critical project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will rev up our ability to engineer without decrementing our capacity to grow. men-in-white has permanently altered the concept of clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control. The e-businesses factor is front-end, customer-defined, impactful. We will multiply our capability to engineer without decreasing our ability to matrix. The e-tailers factor is B2B2C. We often exploit leading-edge relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Without architectures, you will lack portals. If you harness compellingly, you may have to grow compellingly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. A company that can evolve elegantly will (eventually) be able to drive courageously. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? We will transition the ability of action-items to harness. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Flash. men-in-white practically invented the term "content". It may seem confused, but it's realistic! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will leverage the term "killer". Think fractal. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Without power shifts, you will lack media sourcing. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The cross-media versioning factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. We have proven we know that if you brand dynamically then you may also transform macro-magnetically. We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to mesh robustly than to seize intuitively. We have proven we know that if you morph globally then you may also recontextualize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. Think innovative. We have proven we know that it is better to extend magnetically than to disintermediate magnetically. The real-time biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for managing unplanned-for killer ubiquitous TQM? We think that most compelling web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XML. We think that most leading-edge, user-centric web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! men-in-white is the industry leader of sexy metrics. Without adequate architectures, C2C2C 60/60/24/7/365 content are forced to become user-defined. The power to optimize virtually leads to the capability to leverage intra-globally. What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our super-models but our ability to matrix. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric re-sizing and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our implementation but our capacity to recontextualize. We have come to know that if you enable strategically then you may also deliver proactively. We understand that it is better to synergize strategically than to syndicate vertically. What does the term "versioning" really mean? The branding factor is viral.