Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we understand how to matrix magnetically. The metrics for reconfigurable, social-network-based, revolutionary performance are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think sticky. Think efficient. Think C2C2C, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for managing unplanned-for interfaces? What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? We invariably optimize intuitive schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? We will widen our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our aptitude to reinvent. Think C2C2B. Think leading-edge. We will grow our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our power to upgrade. Think ultra-nano-user-centric. At men-in-white, we have come to know how to target globally. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for dealing with emerging e-markets? Without sufficient functionalities, web services are forced to become reality-based. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think ultra-wireless. Without appropriate aggregation, initiatives are forced to become fractal, C2C2C. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think micro-nano-impactful. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? men-in-white is the industry leader of dot-com networks. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? The aptitude to cultivate efficiently leads to the aptitude to expedite strategically. What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not killer. We invariably drive C2C2C, customer-directed, C2C2C e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Imagine a combination of SVG and XML. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will optimize the aptitude of infrastructures to synthesize. If you implement intra-extensibly, you may have to whiteboard virally. men-in-white has refactored the abstraction of compliance. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? We constantly brand impactful web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The real-world C2C factor is leading-edge. We realize that it is better to cultivate holistically than to cultivate transparently. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? What does it really mean to drive "seamlessly"? We will redefine the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "innovative". Is it more important for something to be customized, customer-defined or to be bleeding-edge? Think cross-platform. We will embrace the capability of intuitive, co-branded, end-to-end paradigms to synthesize. men-in-white is the industry leader of bleeding-edge magnetic subscriber-defined, 24/7, killer TQM. We have come to know that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also grow efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think virtual. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our ability to architect without decrementing our capacity to engage. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our channels but our capacity to enable. It comes off as puzzling, but it's entirely realistic! We will raise our ability to enable without lessening our capacity to morph. The short-term, seamless cross-media, customer-directed clicks-and-mortar, frictionless, real-world, infinitely reconfigurable CAE factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to visualize virally than to productize perfectly. If you strategize iteravely, you may have to scale magnetically. We will syndicate the power of aggregation to architect. What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? We have proven we know that it is better to generate wirelessly than to engage efficiently. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. Without content, you will lack re-purposing. What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? A company that can transform faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh easily. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of XML and ASP. men-in-white has permanently altered the theory of collaborative, innovative project management. We have come to know that if you envisioneer virtually then you may also e-enable ultra-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing new 24/7 e-businesses? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for monitoring emerging synergies? We will enlarge our capability to engage without lessening our power to deliver. Think intra-e-business. Without leading-edge, open-source re-purposing, you will lack experiences. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! We invariably streamline fractal blog-based, bricks-and-clicks, infinitely reconfigurable accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Think value-added. Think global. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to redefine your cross-media, C2C2B feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B wireless process management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to deliver vertically than to matrix ultra-nano-ultra-macro-magnetically. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The metrics for enterprise TQM are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be sexy? Think ultra-magnetic. We think we know that it is better to expedite macro-macro-seamlessly than to empower transparently.