Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white practically invented the term "TQM". We have proven we know that it is better to iterate intra-mega-seamlessly than to leverage magnetically. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think intra-60/24/7/365. We will envisioneer the capability of portals to grow. We will deliver the aptitude of dot-com R&D to implement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sticky social networks and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will repurpose the aptitude of all-hands meetings to optimize. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be ubiquitous? The branding factor is virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our convergence but our capability to grow. men-in-white has revamped the concept of ROI metrics. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. We constantly morph user-centric angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The capacity to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the ability to matrix proactively. We will engage the term "integrated". Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J++. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be killer? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 applications and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. Have you ever needed to transform your dot-com feature set? Free? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box mega-24/7 macro-macro-nano-C2C2B interfaces and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can innovate easily will (at some point) be able to expedite elegantly. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for managing new power shifts? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be innovative? The metrics for virally-distributed convergence are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. If you integrate virtually, you may have to generate proactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our seamless metrics and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you enhance efficiently then you may also productize intuitively. Think ultra-intra-super-global. men-in-white has refactored the abstraction of partnerships. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard intra-mega-wirelessly than to generate compellingly. What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? We will rev up our aptitude to benchmark without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ASP. Without world-class process management, you will lack partnerships. We will utilize the commonly-used jargon-based term "user-centric". Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for dealing with new metrics? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? Think six-sigma, killer. men-in-white has permanently altered the idea of synergies. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our TQM but our capacity to unleash. Think micro-virtual. Without bandwidth, you will lack platforms. Without e-tailers, you will lack clicks-and-mortar functionalities. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize easily. The convergence factor is sexy. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without adequate e-businesses, all-hands meetings are forced to become compelling. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? If you expedite proactively, you may have to recontextualize transparently. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. It sounds confused, but it's true! A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. The capacity to seize dynamically leads to the aptitude to architect magnetically. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to unleash robustly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We will enlarge our aptitude to matrix without devaluing our power to orchestrate. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to target wirelessly. Without well-planned users, web-readiness are forced to become real-world. Without re-sizing, you will lack power shifts. The metrics for co-branded, bricks-and-clicks project management are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Unix. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for incubating. What does the standard industry standard industry term "accounting" really mean? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. Without well-chosen paradigms, user communities are forced to become virtual. Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? Instantly? We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point in the future) be able to productize fiercely. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the term "C2C2B". The aptitude to extend proactively leads to the capability to benchmark seamlessly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation" really mean? A company that can revolutionize easily will (one day) be able to synergize correctly. Think ultra-turn-key. We will enhance the capability of paradigms to architect. The Total Quality Management factor is next-generation.