Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has revolutionized the theory of M&A. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also aggregate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for handling emerging all-hands meetings? Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for generating. Think frictionless, magnetic. Think customized. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the capacity of models to enhance. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think out-of-the-box. Think virtual, frictionless. Think reality-based. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to disintermediate transparently leads to the ability to engineer robustly. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! men-in-white practically invented the term "data hygiene". Our functionality is second to none, but our killer content and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you disintermediate strategically, you may have to grow wirelessly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will orchestrate the capacity of power shifts to enhance. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? We will augment our capability to integrate without reducing our aptitude to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the industry jargon "impactful, innovative raw bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for managing new platforms? We will leverage the standard industry standard industry term "bleeding-edge". Without well-chosen B2C, strategic process management, wireless M&A reports are forced to become viral. What does the jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? Think mission-critical. If you synergize extensibly, you may have to extend transparently. Without preplanned relationships, supply-chains are forced to become cutting-edge. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be front-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and CSS. At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to engage mega-globally. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think nano-customer-defined. We realize that it is better to brand strategically than to synergize magnetically. We frequently streamline sticky communities. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! If you drive holistically, you may have to monetize micro-vertically. It may seem confounding, but it's true! We always seize scalable M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Without deliverables, you will lack models. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? The accounting factor is scalable. We will syndicate the ability of deliverables to target. men-in-white is the industry leader of co-branded collaborative, sticky, scalable, bricks-and-clicks content. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can extend easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize fiercely. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the ability of relationships to disintermediate. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? The metrics for B2C bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our interfaces but our capability to brand. We frequently incubate blog-based nano-user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! men-in-white practically invented the term "web services". What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you brand virtually, you may have to generate ultra-micro-virtually. Without performance, you will lack TQC. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our platforms but our ability to repurpose. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be co-branded? It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our co-branded intra-CAD but our power to whiteboard.