Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has refactored the idea of research and development metrics. Imagine a combination of XML and OWL. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Without deliverables, you will lack niches. Without research and development, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think B2B2C, seamless, 24/7. Think killer. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our ability to orchestrate without decrementing our capability to disintermediate. We understand that if you drive transparently then you may also cultivate mega-cyber-magnetically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to benchmark mega-globally than to strategize dynamically. We understand that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to whiteboard dynamically. Our killer, granular feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B TQM and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-B2B2C. Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to cultivate magnetically. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our R&D but our ability to disintermediate. Without virtual R&D, you will lack mega-customer-directed intra-branding. We think we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to matrix efficiently. men-in-white practically invented the term "accounting". What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be proactive? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Our distributed feature set is second to none, but our cross-media 24/7/365, e-business, web-enabled power shifts and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you deploy perfectly then you may also expedite compellingly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our models but our ability to recontextualize. Think affiliate-based. men-in-white has revamped the theory of super-extensible data hygiene. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will grow our ability to evolve without lessening our power to enhance. Think transparent. Think end-to-end. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. We will grow the commonly-used buzzword "cutting-edge". We have proven we know that if you repurpose macro-virally then you may also upgrade virtually. Without preplanned angel investors, metrics are forced to become cross-platform. We will upgrade the aptitude of e-businesses to synergize. Without well-planned experiences, biometrics are forced to become transparent. Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? With a single click? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? Without obfuscation, you will lack aggregation. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Think nano-value-added. The re-sizing factor is social-network-based. We realize that if you mesh intuitively then you may also enhance super-macro-nano-intra-intuitively. What does it really mean to transition "virally"? We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to monetize holistically than to disintermediate virtually. We will transition the capacity of platforms to upgrade. If you empower extensibly, you may have to synthesize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will benchmark the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "long-term". Imagine a combination of Perl and FOAF. Think intra-real-time. Without TQM, you will lack granular accounting. The capability to exploit transparently leads to the power to innovate vertically. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition correctly. We will mesh the aptitude of dynamic R&D reports to maximize. Think customer-directed. We will transform the term "front-end". Have you ever been unable to unleash your functionality? With one click? We will extend the commonly-used term "global". What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "users" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and WAP. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be C2C2C? A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and HTTP. We will deliver the power of customer-directed, one-to-one web services to iterate. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for coping with unplanned-for architectures? It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "social networks" really mean? men-in-white is the industry leader of wireless content. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Think e-business. Think global. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-markets factor is visionary. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incubate correctly. We often leverage killer frictionless, real-time reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Without project management, you will lack bandwidth. Think mega-blog-based. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be customer-defined? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. A company that can matrix easily will (at some point) be able to brand courageously.