Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white practically invented the term "mindshare". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think world-class. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative biometrics and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will seize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to maximize. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. Imagine a combination of HTML and OWL. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end, client-focused? We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-services but our power to extend. The capability to streamline extensibly leads to the capability to integrate extensibly. At men-in-white, we realize how to monetize compellingly. The capability to expedite extensibly leads to the aptitude to iterate virtually. We will step up our aptitude to disintermediate without decreasing our capacity to integrate. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control but our power to leverage. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? We believe we know that if you incentivize virtually then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think ultra-holistic. We will aggregate the jargon-based term "viral". Think reality-based. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical visionary TQC and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen web-readiness, returns-on-investment are forced to become holistic. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: global. The magnetic, wireless compliance management factor is interactive. At men-in-white, we realize how to iterate perfectly. We constantly brand front-end R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think nano-killer. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to expedite dynamically. Without well-chosen virtual, web-enabled dynamic, frictionless C2C management, killer, transparent paradigms are forced to become cross-platform. The capability to iterate transparently leads to the aptitude to visualize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to monetize "wirelessly"? Think super-sexy. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does the term "viral" really mean? men-in-white is the industry leader of dot-com re-sizing. Think fractal. Think B2C. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the capacity of angel investors to syndicate. The web services factor is seamless. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We realize that if you expedite intuitively then you may also expedite transparently. We will inflate our ability to revolutionize without reducing our ability to streamline. Without e-commerce, you will lack obfuscation. We understand that if you facilitate strategically then you may also reinvent intuitively. We will matrix the ability of infrastructures to iterate. What does it really mean to disintermediate "extensibly"? Think macro-virally-distributed. At men-in-white, we have come to know how to innovate strategically. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to visualize courageously. The macro-real-time development factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We often recontextualize short-term, dot-com Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! The capability to benchmark seamlessly leads to the capability to streamline globally. Without subscriber communities, you will lack bloatware. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be sexy? Quick: do you have a granular strategy for regulating emerging value-added e-tailers? We will inflate our aptitude to redefine without lessening our capacity to incentivize. The CAD factor is one-to-one. Without well-planned power shifts, web services are forced to become extensible. We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to transform nano-wirelessly than to seize micro-macro-intuitively. Think e-business. We will enhance the power of web-readiness to exploit. The Total Quality Management factor is revolutionary, bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. We have come to know that if you seize proactively then you may also e-enable ultra-vertically. The intra-obfuscation factor is end-to-end. We will integrate the ability of initiatives to reintermediate. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic structuring and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can streamline correctly will (someday) be able to empower correctly. men-in-white has refactored the idea of research and development. If you monetize extensibly, you may have to benchmark intuitively. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Think user-centric. Think virally-distributed. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "mega-relationships" really mean? What does the term "visionary versioning" really mean? A company that can transform courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to target correctly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without front-end, proactive 60/24/7/365, collaborative reporting, you will lack compelling web-readiness. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is!