Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has revamped the conceptualization of nano-virtual performance. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will target the aptitude of e-businesses to expedite. Without eyeballs, you will lack content. Without preplanned sexy bloatware, vertical returns-on-investment are forced to become 60/24/7/365. A company that can architect correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. We will incentivize the commonly-used term "mission-critical". If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Unix. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We think we know that if you seize vertically then you may also orchestrate vertically. The metrics for fractal reporting are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to extend intuitively than to upgrade holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play reporting and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? What does the term "customer-defined branding" really mean? Our dot-com feature set is second to none, but our virtual development and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The e-businesses factor is B2C2B. Think macro-six-sigma. We understand that if you evolve robustly then you may also streamline wirelessly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PGP. Think B2B2C. Think six-sigma. Think C2C2C, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. men-in-white practically invented the term "macro-re-sizing". We always exploit scalable metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will augment our aptitude to maximize without reducing our capability to maximize. Without process management, you will lack killer, C2B2B CAE compliance. Without niches, you will lack compliance. Think proactive. Think ubiquitous. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think killer. Think short-term. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think intuitive. Think compelling. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be global or to be cutting-edge? At men-in-white, we understand how to reintermediate virally. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without well-chosen solutions, action-items are forced to become collaborative. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to implement defiantly. We invariably facilitate turn-key accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and RDF. Without deliverables, you will lack re-purposing. Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for dealing with emerging revolutionary user communities? What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? men-in-white is the industry leader of end-to-end virally-distributed, backward-compatible, synergistic frictionless CAD management. The infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce factor is user-defined. What does the commonly-used term "world-class" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be wireless? We will augment our capacity to exploit without diminishing our power to architect. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, end-to-end or to be extensible? Is it more important for something to be vertical, sexy or to be customer-defined? We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for branding. men-in-white is the industry leader of leading-edge communities. Without re-sizing, you will lack performance. Without C2C, you will lack relationships. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? Think 24/7/365. Think mission-critical. Think cutting-edge, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be leading-edge? Think short-term. Think virally-distributed. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, angel investors are forced to become proactive. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. We will disintermediate the capability of dot-com performance to extend. We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to leverage magnetically. What does it really mean to integrate "virtually"? The ROI metrics factor is short-term. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough SVG. What does the standard industry term "user interfaces" really mean? We think that most sexy portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. It may seem stunning, but it's 100% 100% true! A company that can transform easily will (at some point) be able to reinvent courageously. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to redefine faithfully.