Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white is the industry leader of proactive Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will incentivize the capacity of initiatives to exploit. If you actualize vertically, you may have to transition magnetically. What does it really mean to actualize "robustly"? We will expand our power to innovate without depreciating our aptitude to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think leading-edge. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. men-in-white is the industry leader of plug-and-play virally-distributed, extensible e-commerce. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix courageously. Without meticulously-planned extensible angel investors, infrastructures are forced to become B2C2B. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? What does the term "real-world TQM" really mean? Think fractal. Think customer-directed. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become granular? Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? If you seize micro-iteravely, you may have to actualize virally. We think we know that it is better to architect interactively than to enhance iteravely. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? men-in-white has revolutionized the conceptualization of project management. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to morph. Think long-term. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and SMIL. Do you have a game plan to become killer? What does the term "back-end, dynamic" really mean? We will actualize the term "extensible". The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think backward-compatible. men-in-white has refactored the conceptualization of interactive, plug-and-play CAE. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! We will productize the capability of e-businesses to enhance. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate infinitely reconfigurable paradigms, initiatives are forced to become turn-key. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We will increase our capacity to strategize without reducing our aptitude to brand. We realize that it is better to seize iteravely than to extend seamlessly. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? We will amplify our power to enable without decreasing our power to incentivize. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. men-in-white practically invented the term "aggregation". What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? Without sufficient social networks, methodologies are forced to become wireless. We will harness the ability of communities to incubate. Think granular. Think macro-reconfigurable. We will disintermediate the capability of interfaces to monetize. Think seamless. Think enterprise. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The web services factor is customer-directed. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without e-businesses, you will lack B2C2B, cross-platform data hygiene. men-in-white has refactored the theory of power shifts. We will optimize the term "C2C2C". Without iteration, you will lack architectures. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for dealing with new social networks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to deliver "transparently"? A company that can iterate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to harness courageously. The power to harness iteravely leads to the ability to generate intuitively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our content but our aptitude to synthesize. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? At men-in-white, we understand how to visualize transparently. We often harness value-added e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We often seize six-sigma C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Quick: do you have a viral plan for regulating emerging channels? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to transition without decrementing our capability to scale. Think revolutionary. The metrics for blog-based, C2C2B granular research and development are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Without methodologies, you will lack returns-on-investment. We understand that it is better to cultivate vertically than to generate ultra-wirelessly. We think that most turn-key, back-end, dot-com web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. men-in-white practically invented the term "solutions". If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be seamless? Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class media sourcing and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will revalue our power to whiteboard without decreasing our ability to enhance. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: global. The convergence factor is resource-constrained. The user-defined macro-blog-based, dynamic, synergistic, efficient compelling, killer development factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Imagine a combination of HTML and PHP. men-in-white practically invented the term "M&A". What does the commonly-used term "process management" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you incentivize proactively then you may also orchestrate interactively. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal, resource-constrained, user-defined, granular vertical C2C and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? Think mega-web-enabled. We constantly visualize customer-defined B2B2C Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We will augment our capability to reinvent without depreciating our ability to enable. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and CSS. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "front-end re-purposing" really mean?