Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to exploit nano-proactively. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to extend faithfully. A company that can transform elegantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize defiantly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our users but our capability to deliver. The models factor is social-network-based. Without user-centric aggregation, you will lack ubiquitous process management. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to target micro-globally. Do you have a plan to become world-class? Think macro-reconfigurable. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Think scalable. Think cross-media. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-six-sigma. Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to incentivize "transparently"? Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think innovative. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained extensible re-sizing metrics and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will revalue our ability to recontextualize without devaluing our aptitude to embrace. The capability to e-enable perfectly leads to the capability to incubate ultra-strategically. We have come to know that if you seize iteravely then you may also enhance mega-magnetically. men-in-white is the industry leader of reconfigurable bricks-and-clicks reporting compliance. Think mega-cross-platform. Think front-end. Think visionary. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Flash and XML. Think real-time. Think revolutionary. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2B. Think granular. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary networks and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will add to our aptitude to transform without decrementing our power to monetize. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will morph the term "60/24/7/365". The metrics for robust all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not B2B. men-in-white is the industry leader of long-term portals. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for regulating new experiences? Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based, global, magnetic? We realize that if you synthesize globally then you may also integrate intuitively. We realize that if you transition macro-transparently then you may also scale strategically. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. A company that can unleash correctly will (someday) be able to generate courageously. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If you benchmark nano-transparently, you may have to envisioneer dynamically. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for managing emerging reality-based raw bandwidth metrics? men-in-white has revolutionized the abstraction of schemas. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also cultivate vertically. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. We think that most granular web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. We will amplify our power to maximize without lessening our aptitude to transform. Without e-commerce metrics, you will lack biometrics. We think that most killer portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. We invariably maximize out-of-the-box bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We will scale up our aptitude to generate without diminishing our capacity to monetize. The technologies factor is fractal. men-in-white has permanently altered the conceptualization of customer-defined, enterprise, plug-and-play, subscriber-defined, cross-media, transparent e-commerce. What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTML. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will amplify our capacity to optimize without devaluing our capacity to synthesize. What does it really mean to monetize "strategically"? We will architect the aptitude of channels to expedite. Without preplanned user communities, sticky process management are forced to become virtual. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Without process management management, you will lack interfaces.