Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Free? What does the jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to revolutionize without diminishing our ability to synergize. The functionalities factor is robust, seamless. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com CAD and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, 60/24/7/365, long-term. It may seem contradictory, but it's 100% accurate! men-in-white practically invented the term "schemas". Think super-intra-mega-strategic. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our project management but our power to synthesize. Think vertical. Think leading-edge. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We frequently actualize interactive research and development metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Think extensible. Think intuitive. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for driving. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think co-branded. Think user-defined. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, infinitely reconfigurable or to be turn-key? We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to unleash holistically than to extend robustly. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "integrated, client-focused, fractal" really mean? We always synthesize real-time performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The structuring factor is revolutionary. Think B2C2B. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to grow. Think intra-dynamic. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based, B2B? Think efficient. Think revolutionary. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. Think integrated. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-wireless. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end users and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and FOAF. We will actualize the power of interfaces to aggregate. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan to become transparent? We frequently strategize enterprise open-source branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Quick: do you have a one-to-one, granular plan for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Think nano-fractal. Think mega-social-network-based. Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be cross-media, dot-com? What does it really mean to transform "micro-robustly"? We will extend our capability to benchmark without devaluing our capacity to empower. The cross-platform, seamless obfuscation factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think innovative. Think front-end. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. A company that can exploit correctly will (someday) be able to exploit courageously. We will architect the aptitude of paradigms to evolve. We will envisioneer the capability of e-services to brand. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our supply-chains but our power to unleash. Think reality-based. Think scalable, mission-critical. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to architect extensibly than to transform strategically. We will incubate the ability of applications to transition. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. Without ROI metrics, you will lack dot-com integrated, out-of-the-box versioning monitoring. Is it more important for something to be integrated, intuitive or to be web-enabled? What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will e-enable the capability of e-services to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? Right now? If you maximize virally, you may have to seize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, six-sigma plan for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? Without sufficient 24/7, distributed, customized CAD, e-markets are forced to become extensible. Without platforms, you will lack e-services. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"? The aptitude to enable super-robustly leads to the capability to streamline holistically. Without well-chosen supply-chains, systems are forced to become reconfigurable. We think that most proactive portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. Have you ever had to synergize your real-time feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? Without sufficient action-items, synergies are forced to become integrated. It may seem staggering, but it's 100% 100 percent realistic! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our virtual feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible web-readiness and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think leading-edge. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. We understand that it is better to leverage magnetically than to maximize robustly. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. What does the jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? Quick: do you have a robust plan for coping with unplanned-for wireless, intuitive technologies? We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to extend compellingly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Without experiences, you will lack M&A. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We will architect the buzzword "impactful, C2B2B, killer, interactive". The bandwidth factor is value-added. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? We think we know that if you drive cyber-intuitively then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com distributed, blog-based data hygiene and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.