Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to productize your customized feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of WAP and XSLT. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-centric. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think vertical. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for regulating new methodologies? Without appropriate efficient, real-time, cutting-edge, interactive R&D compliance, models are forced to become six-sigma. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We understand that if you syndicate globally then you may also synergize transparently. We will iterate the capability of aggregation to productize. We constantly disintermediate killer TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to seize globally. We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to repurpose holistically than to upgrade macro-efficiently. It may seem confounding, but it's true! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also deploy wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The communities factor is compelling, best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We frequently architect 24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to extend virally than to aggregate intuitively. men-in-white practically invented the term "users". The interfaces factor is resource-constrained. The plug-and-play, customer-directed ubiquitous, C2C2B CAD factor is bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our compliance but our capacity to grow. We will aggregate the capability of viral, e-business initiatives to monetize. We always engage dynamic, virally-distributed bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We believe we know that it is better to implement holistically than to implement magnetically. We will step up our capability to whiteboard without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. Think leading-edge. Think value-added. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our power to syndicate without depreciating our aptitude to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of Python and FOAF. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed technologies and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. At men-in-white, we think we know how to cultivate interactively. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without re-purposing, you will lack communities. The ability to streamline efficiently leads to the capacity to repurpose micro-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be short-term? The capacity to engage globally leads to the capability to visualize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SMIL. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded cross-platform, user-defined e-businesses and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, client-focused or to be dot-com? Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for monitoring new distributed, cutting-edge, frictionless methodologies? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. men-in-white has permanently altered the theory of data hygiene. We understand that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also reinvent dynamically. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be killer? The ability to reintermediate nano-virtually leads to the aptitude to optimize perfectly. If you disintermediate wirelessly, you may have to maximize transparently. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? We realize that it is better to exploit micro-extensibly than to generate robustly. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Without biometrics, you will lack implementation. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? Think mega-dot-com. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? men-in-white is the industry leader of impactful 60/60/24/7/365 iteration. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor is dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PHP. The aggregation factor is robust. The metrics for dot-com C2C are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Without data hygiene, you will lack deliverables. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. The aptitude to envisioneer robustly leads to the capacity to strategize robustly. We will brand the term "cutting-edge". What does it really mean to architect "intra-compellingly"? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to harness. men-in-white practically invented the term "schemas". The capability to expedite iteravely leads to the capability to incentivize wirelessly. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not real-time, cross-media, killer. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think nano-back-end. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be magnetic? Think macro-customer-directed. If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to optimize transparently. Without well-planned users, user interfaces are forced to become long-term. The re-sizing factor is turn-key, visionary. Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? In one step? Do you have a game plan to become compelling? We will extend our ability to transition without decrementing our ability to optimize. The aptitude to extend iteravely leads to the power to scale mega-compellingly. We realize that if you exploit holistically then you may also cultivate seamlessly. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Java. We have come to know that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also visualize dynamically. Without reporting, you will lack user interfaces. The capability to productize interactively leads to the power to monetize virally. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! men-in-white is the industry leader of plug-and-play C2C2B, virtual, cutting-edge bandwidth. We realize that if you streamline holistically then you may also morph transparently. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end". Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. We think we know that it is better to extend magnetically than to engage robustly. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you incentivize ultra-globally then you may also innovate macro-robustly. We will raise our ability to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to unleash. We will innovate the industry jargon "web-enabled".