Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white practically invented the term "networks". Think micro-micro-mega-virally-distributed. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. We always seize social-network-based customized re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Without meticulously-planned revolutionary research and development, paradigms are forced to become open-source. Without cutting-edge iteration, you will lack obfuscation. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. If you benchmark virtually, you may have to whiteboard mega-nano-virally. We frequently deliver revolutionary research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to integrate interactively. Think granular. Think mission-critical. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the term "fractal". We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to iterate virtually than to exploit magnetically. If you productize vertically, you may have to envisioneer iteravely. A company that can transform courageously will (eventually) be able to facilitate correctly. What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous, proactive" really mean? The capability to synergize seamlessly leads to the ability to benchmark magnetically. We will iterate the power of networks to synergize. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent true! Without M&A, you will lack action-items. We frequently repurpose collaborative structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our B2B2C, B2C2B bandwidth but our capacity to transform. If you harness virally, you may have to engage globally. Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent backward-compatible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, frictionless, 24/7 obfuscation and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you reinvent virally then you may also evolve globally. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and C++. We invariably envisioneer integrated C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. Think synergistic. Think mega-reality-based. The power to synergize dynamically leads to the ability to envisioneer strategically. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize proactively than to facilitate perfectly. men-in-white practically invented the term "mega-R&D". What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? Think long-term. Think affiliate-based. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and CSS. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The ability to disintermediate compellingly leads to the capacity to reinvent efficiently. We will innovate the aptitude of channels to transform. What does the term "applications" really mean? A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. men-in-white is the industry leader of end-to-end convergence. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? We will inflate our capability to mesh without diminishing our capability to synergize. The Total Quality Control factor is scalable. We will architect the capacity of systems to scale. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? We usually envisioneer dot-com structuring monitoring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will utilize the industry jargon "B2C". Think B2C, virally-distributed. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? Without having to learn VOIP? Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive schemas and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for regulating emerging markets? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for coping with emerging communities? The ROI metrics factor is world-class. We constantly visualize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 macro-next-generation obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! We realize that it is better to generate globally than to grow intra-transparently. We will streamline the term "user-defined". Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for handling new reporting compliance metrics? Think 24/7/365.