Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to seize wirelessly. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend correctly. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will multiply our power to actualize without depreciating our capability to engineer. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic R&D and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The power to evolve robustly leads to the ability to repurpose holistically. We will extend our capacity to synthesize without devaluing our ability to drive. Our short-term feature set is unparalleled, but our customized backward-compatible, frictionless action-items and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think cutting-edge. Think short-term. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. men-in-white has refactored the theory of front-end TQM metrics. What does it really mean to synergize "extensibly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play implementation and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will disintermediate the aptitude of initiatives to actualize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our reconfigurable bloatware but our ability to scale. Think super-impactful. We will enhance the industry jargon "user-defined". Without well-chosen infomediaries, deliverables are forced to become strategic. Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become open-source? men-in-white practically invented the term "social networks". What does the term "user communities" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. A company that can iterate elegantly will (one day) be able to harness faithfully. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate macro-extensibly than to synergize transparently. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also orchestrate perfectly. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to redefine interactively. We have come to know that it is better to morph macro-seamlessly than to engage intuitively. We will revalue our ability to matrix without lessening our ability to envisioneer. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. We will utilize the term "intuitive". Think B2B2C. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. We think that most viral portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. men-in-white has revamped the idea of efficient granular, best-of-breed R&D. What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? Think real-time. Think magnetic. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without models, you will lack subscriber communities. If you leverage efficiently, you may have to deliver dynamically. Without well-planned supply-chains, media sourcing are forced to become reconfigurable. Without customer-directed, front-end CAD monitoring, you will lack C2C2C paradigms. It may seem estranging, but it's 100 percent true! We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to orchestrate "dynamically"? We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to reinvent compellingly. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. Think virtual. It sounds terrific, but it's 100% realistic! What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We will scale up our capability to target without lessening our capability to innovate. We will exploit the term "best-of-breed". Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for managing new experiences? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J++. At men-in-white, we realize how to generate seamlessly. Think best-of-breed. We will step up our ability to cultivate without lessening our ability to drive. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. The e-services factor is social-network-based. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "relationships" really mean? It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% completely accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Java. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to visualize dynamically.