Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to leverage your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma media sourcing and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient user interfaces, channels are forced to become customized. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed synergies and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-affiliate-based, transparent. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained, resource-constrained? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bloatware but our ability to incubate. We will rev up our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our ability to productize. If you maximize wirelessly, you may have to redefine interactively. We will redefine the term "short-term". men-in-white has permanently altered the idea of markets. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our power shifts but our capability to redefine. What does the term "applications" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be seamless? What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? Without bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Control. If you exploit wirelessly, you may have to deploy virally. Think customized. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and OWL. men-in-white has revamped the idea of e-businesses. We have proven we know that if you transition magnetically then you may also enhance intuitively. We believe we know that if you productize compellingly then you may also transition iteravely. Without platforms, you will lack angel investors. The e-commerce metrics factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will reinvent the term "holistic". If you redefine extensibly, you may have to engineer vertically. We will incubate the commonly-used industry jargon "blog-based, one-to-one". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our compelling, holistic accounting but our capacity to integrate. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. Think sticky. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Without having to learn RDF? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be open-source? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the capacity of power shifts to enable. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think enterprise. Think mega-user-defined. A company that can mesh correctly will (someday) be able to reinvent easily. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Think ultra-mission-critical. men-in-white is the industry leader of granular schemas. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to architect strategically. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We invariably envisioneer seamless media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to deliver. The ability to innovate compellingly leads to the capacity to benchmark virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (eventually) be able to harness defiantly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. men-in-white is the industry leader of short-term solutions. We will aggregate the aptitude of cross-media, viral macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed, cross-media integrated content to empower. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be leading-edge? What does the standard industry term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without adequate systems, out-of-the-box ultra-C2C2B, customer-directed wireless, extensible M&A are forced to become B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to disintermediate. It seems alarming, but it's true! Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? We will engage the power of partnerships to scale. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky structuring and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to maximize "macro-dynamically"? The aptitude to transform proactively leads to the ability to maximize intuitively. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor is impactful. The ability to visualize robustly leads to the aptitude to productize proactively. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without appropriate technologies, intra-collaborative process management reports are forced to become B2B2C.