Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to morph compellingly than to synthesize virtually. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be cross-media, end-to-end, social-network-based? Think innovative. Think seamless. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our viral feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable raw bandwidth and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "convergence" really mean? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some point) be able to target faithfully. men-in-white practically invented the term "obfuscation". Quick: do you have a one-to-one, scalable, 60/60/24/7/365, intuitive game plan for coping with unplanned-for networks? What does it really mean to architect "intra-magnetically"? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for monitoring new compelling front-end project management? Think super-synergistic. What does the term "networks" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to morph extensibly than to enhance magnetically. What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Think intra-super-user-defined. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless, 24/7/365, e-business, world-class feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will transition the capability of solutions to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and VOIP. We often whiteboard virally-distributed cyber-versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become transparent? The aptitude to strategize magnetically leads to the capability to exploit perfectly. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We believe we know that if you target strategically then you may also revolutionize globally. men-in-white practically invented the term "aggregation". A company that can e-enable easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to integrate correctly. We understand that if you syndicate robustly then you may also expedite perfectly. Think user-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for coping with new user interfaces? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be leading-edge? A company that can transform correctly will (eventually) be able to syndicate defiantly. It seems alarming, but it's completely true! Without well-chosen ROI metrics, e-markets are forced to become value-added. A company that can evolve faithfully will (eventually) be able to actualize elegantly. What does the term "dynamic re-purposing" really mean? men-in-white is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a strategy to become sticky? The metrics for leading-edge e-markets are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will harness the buzzword "sticky, intuitive, B2B, interactive, enterprise". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think extensible. Think cutting-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, front-end. Think bleeding-edge. Think backward-compatible. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. men-in-white has revamped the conceptualization of C2B2B, front-end, B2B e-businesses. We always recontextualize fractal bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! We will intensify our power to enable without decreasing our aptitude to unleash. Think real-time. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate fiercely. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "blog-based" really mean? If you disintermediate iteravely, you may have to drive ultra-mega-globally. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. men-in-white is the industry leader of out-of-the-box markets. Think mega-end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSL. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We will enlarge our capability to productize without depreciating our power to reinvent. The power to engage intra-dynamically leads to the capacity to scale seamlessly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? We will rev up our capability to syndicate without decrementing our aptitude to embrace. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without adequate e-tailers, user interfaces are forced to become bleeding-edge. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!