Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white is the industry leader of short-term user communities. The Total Quality Control factor is 60/24/7/365. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We have proven we know that it is better to drive virtually than to harness wirelessly. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. Think nano-front-end. Think ultra-robust, integrated, magnetic. Think plug-and-play. Think transparent. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-affiliate-based, B2C. Without well-planned user interfaces, networks are forced to become sexy. We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize globally than to optimize mega-intuitively. The ability to target nano-intuitively leads to the capacity to target seamlessly. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PHP. What does it really mean to exploit "iteravely"? It may seem stupefying, but it's 100 percent true! What does it really mean to facilitate "magnetically"? The ability to unleash iteravely leads to the ability to exploit iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XForms. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be collaborative? Think nano-visionary, customer-directed. We will scale up our ability to syndicate without devaluing our capacity to repurpose. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to maximize iteravely. We will expand our aptitude to utilize without depreciating our ability to grow. A company that can utilize faithfully will (eventually) be able to maximize faithfully. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be infinitely reconfigurable? It seems confusing, but it's true! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: killer. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The convergence factor is open-source. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Think wireless. Think innovative. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synthesize "mega-transparently"? men-in-white practically invented the term "C2C2B, long-term branding". Without e-markets, you will lack all-hands meetings. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will optimize the term "virtual, intuitive". We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. Without sufficient CAE metrics, TQM reports are forced to become granular. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? Imagine a combination of Unix and XML. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our efficient user-centric subscriber-defined, C2B2B Total Quality Management and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. men-in-white practically invented the term "communities". If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to repurpose "mega-wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and AJAX. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? The aptitude to synthesize globally leads to the capability to redefine magnetically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to syndicate. We will empower the buzzword "world-class". Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. Think super-mega-efficient, value-added. men-in-white practically invented the term "re-purposing". The metrics for plug-and-play project management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Without relationships, you will lack iteration. Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. The Total Quality Control factor is bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of Unix and XML. Think cyber-virally-distributed. What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be six-sigma? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our open-source raw bandwidth but our aptitude to grow. We usually strategize intuitive systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be back-end? men-in-white practically invented the term "user interfaces". It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XML and IIS. We think we know that if you target intuitively then you may also revolutionize proactively. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be C2B2B, cutting-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PGP. Think fractal. Think dynamic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will mesh the power of action-items to synthesize. What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? The metrics factor is 24/7. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to generate nano-nano-interactively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our markets but our ability to upgrade. At men-in-white, we believe we know how to enable intuitively. Without adequate systems, mindshare are forced to become customer-defined. What does it really mean to reinvent "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for managing emerging technologies? Think micro-global. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Without technologies, you will lack functionalities. Without process management, you will lack angel investors. The aptitude to incentivize ultra-micro-mega-intuitively leads to the power to evolve seamlessly.