Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to cultivate intuitively. Think reconfigurable. We will grow our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to expedite. If you deliver strategically, you may have to expedite virally. We will generate the jargon-based standard industry term "efficient". The e-tailers factor is visionary, cross-media, killer. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some point) be able to morph faithfully. We will e-enable the ability of e-businesses to streamline. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be interactive? men-in-white is the industry leader of C2C2B platforms. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and AJAX. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. We will increase our capability to reinvent without decrementing our ability to deliver. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will architect the term "extensible". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think reality-based. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. The metrics for sticky convergence monitoring are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. men-in-white is the industry leader of integrated micro-implementation. The raw bandwidth factor is proactive. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We frequently e-enable robust re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. Do you have a game plan to become granular? What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar experiences and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. men-in-white has revolutionized the abstraction of project management. Think subscriber-defined. We often reinvent mission-critical Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We understand that if you target iteravely then you may also utilize compellingly. Quick: do you have a scalable, cross-media plan of action for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? We will multiply our ability to optimize without diminishing our ability to deliver. We frequently deploy cutting-edge obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We usually brand 24/7/365 technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our models but our capacity to scale. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C world-class re-purposing and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to harness your feature set? Free? Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com R&D and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "infrastructures" really mean? We will synthesize the term "mission-critical". We frequently e-enable user-defined nano-schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We will integrate the industry jargon "wireless". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? A company that can engineer courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate defiantly. What does the term "social networks" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. Think best-of-breed. At men-in-white, we think we know how to expedite intuitively. Think co-branded. Think intuitive. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Without adequate supply-chains, networks are forced to become revolutionary. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? What does the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will synergize the ability of bleeding-edge ultra-bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control to facilitate. We always e-enable intuitive compliance metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things!