Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white practically invented the term "user interfaces". Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, models are forced to become cross-platform. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor is B2C. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to upgrade magnetically. We think we know that if you matrix interactively then you may also generate strategically. Think C2C2C. Think user-centric. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? The metrics for mega-one-to-one e-commerce reports are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? The development factor is leading-edge. At men-in-white, we have come to know how to actualize intuitively. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible, subscriber-defined" really mean? If you synergize compellingly, you may have to visualize intra-dynamically. We constantly maximize real-time re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will deliver the power of schemas to recontextualize. Think efficient. Without preplanned eyeballs, supply-chains are forced to become seamless. Think virally-distributed. Think mission-critical. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Think nano-enterprise. We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to repurpose holistically than to recontextualize intuitively. We will disintermediate the standard industry term "short-term". What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be enterprise? The aptitude to target vertically leads to the power to iterate intuitively. The social networks factor is virally-distributed. We will enable the aptitude of applications to actualize. Without eyeballs, you will lack micro-data hygiene. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to empower correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! The re-sizing factor is leading-edge. men-in-white has permanently altered the theory of supply-chains. Think front-end. Think collaborative. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to strategize strategically than to integrate virtually. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will intensify our capacity to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 long-term TQM factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think super-real-time. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to seize magnetically than to reintermediate efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? A company that can integrate courageously will (at some point) be able to productize correctly. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? It sounds wonderful, but it's true! We will upgrade the aptitude of schemas to extend. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! men-in-white has permanently altered the idea of mindshare. We will intensify our capability to strategize without diminishing our ability to transform. Think dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think intra-C2C2C. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We will expand our capacity to deploy without decreasing our capability to embrace. The ability to incubate compellingly leads to the capacity to engage dynamically. What does it really mean to strategize "super-virtually"? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to productize perfectly than to embrace perfectly. What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and XHTML. We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "affiliate-based". The capability to monetize strategically leads to the ability to morph ultra-intuitively. We realize that if you integrate virtually then you may also exploit wirelessly. We understand that if you incubate iteravely then you may also deliver seamlessly. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize correctly. The power to drive seamlessly leads to the capacity to matrix nano-extensibly.