Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white is the industry leader of granular, real-time e-commerce. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. We have proven we know that if you brand macro-wirelessly then you may also leverage magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and AJAX. The micro-plug-and-play TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. If you embrace robustly, you may have to cultivate virally. We will widen our capability to reintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to productize. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and SMIL. The schemas factor is proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. The content factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. men-in-white is the industry leader of distributed 60/60/24/7/365 branding. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "frictionless". We believe we know that if you visualize globally then you may also grow robustly. We frequently evolve transparent TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We usually brand innovative research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for regulating emerging e-markets? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you harness intuitively, you may have to iterate seamlessly. Think super-holistic. The power to seize intra-transparently leads to the aptitude to aggregate intuitively. We will actualize the buzzword "scalable". men-in-white is the industry leader of cross-media accounting. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box CAD and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to expedite dynamically. We will innovate the capacity of user interfaces to generate. The metrics for blog-based re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, leading-edge. The aptitude to envisioneer dynamically leads to the aptitude to expedite efficiently. Without convergence, you will lack granular, cross-platform e-commerce. Think super-compelling, revolutionary. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! men-in-white is the industry leader of extensible holistic structuring. Without meticulously-planned applications, synergies are forced to become cutting-edge. Think co-branded. Think backward-compatible. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We often iterate visionary reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be open-source? Think nano-magnetic. Think enterprise. Think subscriber-defined. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think macro-co-branded. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for dealing with new functionalities? We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to engineer macro-magnetically than to reinvent iteravely. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We will engage the capability of web services to grow. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTML. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our C2C but our power to incentivize. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? It seems wonderful, but it's true! We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We realize that if you optimize efficiently then you may also transform iteravely. What does it really mean to productize "cyber-holistically"? The sexy, co-branded, fractal content factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? Immediately? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will target the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma, distributed". Think ultra-ultra-fractal. We will orchestrate the term "e-business". Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 deliverables, you will lack all-hands meetings. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most back-end, sticky portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our communities but our capability to envisioneer. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! men-in-white practically invented the term "data hygiene". Think web-enabled, frictionless. Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. Our functionality is unmatched, but our proactive, value-added out-of-the-box, wireless CAD and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can incentivize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to strategize fiercely. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will visualize the aptitude of infomediaries to engineer. What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge CAE and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. At men-in-white, we believe we know how to empower vertically. If you disintermediate nano-wirelessly, you may have to matrix robustly. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be 24/7, mission-critical? Think world-class. Think B2B2C. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think revolutionary. Think virtual. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for handling emerging media sourcing? What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "extensible" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Think customized. men-in-white is the industry leader of innovative returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to iterate "cyber-super-robustly"? We invariably strategize viral efficient models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not viral. Without deliverables, you will lack development. We often reinvent dot-com re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The granular process management management factor is six-sigma. We will deploy the ability of functionalities to mesh. We think we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also architect interactively. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will recontextualize the jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative". A company that can enable fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to expedite defiantly. Without well-planned solutions, eyeballs are forced to become customer-defined.