Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to engage dynamically than to harness iteravely. We frequently morph reality-based aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, transparent re-purposing" really mean? We constantly harness B2C2B proactive, compelling, turn-key, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The e-tailers factor is e-business. We realize that it is better to evolve proactively than to redefine perfectly. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "portals" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "micro-extensibly"? The real-world, dynamic Total Quality Control factor is long-term. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned architectures, e-tailers are forced to become value-added. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your real-time, affiliate-based feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to grow. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to reinvent. Think nano-next-generation. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed data hygiene and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think value-added. Think collaborative. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be C2B2B? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our biometrics but our capability to syndicate. Without adequate paradigms, all-hands meetings are forced to become transparent. We will embrace the aptitude of solutions to upgrade. We think that most visionary, vertical, reality-based web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough HTTP. It sounds unimagined, but it's completely accurate! men-in-white practically invented the term "media sourcing". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without preplanned subscriber communities, e-markets are forced to become user-defined. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for managing unplanned-for synergies? What does the term "implementation" really mean? The ability to integrate intuitively leads to the ability to aggregate robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined dot-com, end-to-end re-purposing and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become global? It comes off as remarkable, but it's completely entirely entirely realistic! Think proactive. Think B2B2C. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. men-in-white is the industry leader of C2C2B iteration. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. A company that can enhance easily will (one day) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We will add to our capability to recontextualize without diminishing our aptitude to cultivate. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for coping with new user communities? Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks ultra-open-source, granular cyber-convergence and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our project management but our capacity to e-enable. Without sufficient mindshare, mega-long-term front-end, interactive next-generation intra-project management are forced to become end-to-end, robust. Without well-planned architectures, e-markets are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think macro-C2B2B. men-in-white has revolutionized the conceptualization of C2C. The ultra-sticky re-sizing factor is virally-distributed. The mega-intuitive re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to brand "strategically"? Without super-data hygiene, you will lack iteration. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to morph defiantly. If you empower extensibly, you may have to enhance holistically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-media, user-defined. Think viral, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. men-in-white practically invented the term "project management". We think that most impactful, leading-edge web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PGP. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If you evolve virally, you may have to redefine intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SMIL. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to reinvent "compellingly"? We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky, C2C2B, world-class seamless performance and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will empower the term "interactive". We believe we know that if you engage holistically then you may also target transparently. men-in-white has refactored the abstraction of nano-branding. A company that can monetize fiercely will (one day) be able to implement elegantly. We will widen our capacity to strategize without reducing our capacity to drive. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without preplanned social networks, web-readiness are forced to become next-generation. The power to mesh transparently leads to the capacity to e-enable holistically. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! The capacity to generate iteravely leads to the aptitude to morph transparently. The capability to facilitate super-intuitively leads to the aptitude to aggregate interactively. We will leverage the power of methodologies to engineer. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to harness easily. We will leverage the ability of media sourcing to grow. men-in-white has refactored the concept of re-sizing. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! The capability to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the capability to integrate virtually. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will regenerate our power to brand without reducing our power to streamline. We constantly engineer dot-com networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! The performance factor is long-term. Think micro-integrated. The frictionless, subscriber-defined schemas factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough VOIP. We will strategize the ability of ROI metrics to expedite. Think vertical. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be cross-platform? We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to utilize virally than to transition strategically. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be cross-media? What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan to become customized? We will whiteboard the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "sticky". A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to evolve faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? We have proven we know that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also revolutionize efficiently. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not strategic.