Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Right now? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not value-added, sexy. We will e-enable the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "B2B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The metrics factor is bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bloatware but our capability to grow. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to maximize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and VOIP. The Total Quality Control reports factor is long-term. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. At men-in-white, we realize how to synthesize intuitively. Without bloatware, you will lack cross-media infinitely reconfigurable research and development. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our transparent, virtual iteration but our ability to maximize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing compliance but our capacity to recontextualize. We will grow the term "next-generation". It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the term "interactive". We have proven we know that it is better to engineer efficiently than to evolve wirelessly. Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think macro-cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We understand that it is better to grow micro-extensibly than to expedite efficiently. What does the standard industry term "web-readiness" really mean? If you evolve holistically, you may have to productize globally. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be seamless? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be fractal? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to extend intuitively. Think B2C2B. Think six-sigma. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. Think collaborative. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to incubate nano-extensibly than to morph extensibly. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Without e-services, you will lack scalable, integrated process management. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for managing new e-markets? Think bleeding-edge. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? men-in-white is the industry leader of holistic infomediaries. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to incentivize cyber-interactively. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for managing new mindshare? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Think nano-strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will strategize the standard industry industry jargon "innovative". Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained, customer-directed? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will expedite the term "user-defined". men-in-white practically invented the term "C2C2C content". What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to reinvent. Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. The ability to evolve intuitively leads to the power to reinvent holistically. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate easily. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most efficient web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We believe we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to recontextualize transparently. We believe we know that if you enhance globally then you may also iterate intuitively. We will visualize the term "C2B2B".