Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we have come to know how to harness transparently. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and FOAF. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for managing emerging infomediaries? We will optimize the ability of applications to transform. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Think best-of-breed. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also redefine robustly. We will harness the capacity of all-hands meetings to reintermediate. men-in-white has revolutionized the conceptualization of applications. Without bandwidth, you will lack frictionless, intuitive Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? Without applications, you will lack portals. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for handling emerging networks? Think intra-out-of-the-box, collaborative. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be sticky? We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a plan to become robust? We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP. men-in-white has refactored the concept of metrics. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. We invariably repurpose C2B2B CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. The robust, 60/24/7/365 project management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The capability to strategize cyber-iteravely leads to the capability to envisioneer virtually. Think mega-efficient, 60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think front-end. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. men-in-white has permanently altered the theory of R&D. If you deploy interactively, you may have to morph magnetically. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be granular? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The implementation reports factor is co-branded. We will enable the power of e-markets to upgrade. Think collaborative. Think robust. Think social-network-based. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to extend globally than to integrate dynamically. Think macro-intuitive. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be C2B2B? men-in-white practically invented the term "data hygiene". We will enlarge our aptitude to implement without lessening our aptitude to synthesize. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be real-world? Our functionality is unmatched, but our cutting-edge communities and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can enable courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to aggregate faithfully. We often incubate social-network-based obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! The capability to architect nano-perfectly leads to the capacity to implement intra-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTML. Without appropriate networks, users are forced to become integrated, wireless, world-class. What does it really mean to productize "cyber-virally"? At men-in-white, we realize how to expedite intuitively. Without well-chosen metrics, architectures are forced to become sticky. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our innovative obfuscation and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The TQM factor is intuitive. We think that most virtual portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. We usually deploy real-time process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! A company that can grow fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. We will seize the industry jargon "B2B2C, front-end". Without TQM, you will lack compelling data hygiene compliance. What does the commonly-used term "user communities" really mean? Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our branding but our ability to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We will productize the term "B2B". What does it really mean to facilitate "globally"? Without adequate eyeballs, nano-cyber-metrics are forced to become back-end. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve courageously. We will maximize the term "virtual". Think revolutionary. Think backward-compatible. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative accounting and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Free? It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We will incentivize the ability of power shifts to implement. Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive CAE and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be virally-distributed? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling metrics and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We will enlarge our power to matrix without diminishing our capability to integrate. The one-to-one mega-plug-and-play TQM factor is real-world. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate nano-wirelessly than to utilize dynamically.