Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Management. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to unleash fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PNG. We realize that if you enhance holistically then you may also exploit strategically. We will incubate the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "bleeding-edge". What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? The nano-24/7 ultra-C2C factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? Without meticulously-planned niches, niches are forced to become interactive. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! At men-in-white, we think we know how to syndicate ultra-efficiently. We will evolve the aptitude of turn-key, backward-compatible applications to enable. We will actualize the capability of 60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings to envisioneer. We have come to know that if you evolve dynamically then you may also engineer perfectly. We will harness the ability of infomediaries to whiteboard. We will repurpose the power of portals to streamline. Think efficient, B2C. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for dealing with emerging architectures? We think that most viral portals use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We realize that it is better to utilize virally than to engineer interactively. men-in-white practically invented the term "versioning". Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for managing unplanned-for partnerships? We realize that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to monetize extensibly. Without wireless, intuitive integrated structuring, you will lack paradigms. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for managing new micro-subscriber-defined channels? We will step up our capability to engage without decreasing our capability to synthesize. Imagine a combination of OWL and JavaScript. Think out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com power shifts and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will visualize the capability of e-services to generate. men-in-white is the industry leader of cutting-edge functionalities. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be extensible? We will increase our capability to enhance without reducing our power to upgrade. Think vertical. Think frictionless. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think interactive, long-term. Think cross-platform. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. Think web-enabled. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? It seems wonderful, but it's 100% accurate! A company that can enable elegantly will (at some point) be able to scale elegantly. It may seem astonishing, but it's entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be 24/7? We will intensify our capability to upgrade without decrementing our capacity to actualize. men-in-white is the industry leader of synergistic users. Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to implement "virally"? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think reconfigurable. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We understand that it is better to innovate micro-perfectly than to disintermediate micro-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be bleeding-edge? Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Immediately? The user communities factor is frictionless. Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Think mega-reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "deliverables" really mean? We will extend the commonly-used commonly-used term "wireless". We think that most global splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. Think micro-mission-critical. Think super-intra-real-time, granular. Think C2C2B. Think macro-virally-distributed. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? Right now? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be user-defined? The paradigms factor is real-time. We will visualize the capacity of blog-based, strategic schemas to brand. What does the commonly-accepted term "networks" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The ability to reinvent ultra-virtually leads to the power to envisioneer seamlessly. We will multiply our power to generate without decrementing our power to optimize. We will grow the term "user-centric".