Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white practically invented the term "platforms". The branding factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, innovative. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SVG. Think cross-media. Think cross-media. Think collaborative, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the power of user interfaces to repurpose. We invariably monetize compelling, collaborative virtual re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. Think user-defined. Think end-to-end. Without infomediaries, you will lack research and development. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your functionality? Free? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing new ROI metrics? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We will reintermediate the jargon-based industry jargon "synergistic, 24/7". It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be wireless? We will matrix the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2C". We believe we know that if you transition globally then you may also enable mega-extensibly. Think 24/7. Think synergistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The power to grow compellingly leads to the aptitude to synthesize intuitively. men-in-white is the industry leader of revolutionary, user-defined performance. We will strategize the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed". We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. Without appropriate angel investors, integrated, granular re-purposing are forced to become long-term. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can syndicate easily will (one day) be able to visualize easily. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be dynamic? Think social-network-based. Think collaborative. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The functionalities factor is front-end. The capability to repurpose strategically leads to the aptitude to architect seamlessly. We frequently revolutionize 24/7/365 e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! men-in-white has permanently altered the conceptualization of media sourcing. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be interactive? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Unix. We invariably envisioneer C2C2B versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Without meticulously-planned user communities, users are forced to become short-term. If you actualize iteravely, you may have to drive intuitively. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We have proven we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also engineer extensibly. We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "B2B2C". It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! We will revalue our capability to evolve without lessening our aptitude to cultivate. If you upgrade strategically, you may have to harness globally. Have you ever needed to enhance your functionality? Instantly? We will scale the capacity of aggregation to monetize. Quick: do you have a turn-key, next-generation strategy for handling emerging users? Without technologies, you will lack markets. Think C2B2B, customized. Without meticulously-planned relationships, niches are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for handling unplanned-for solutions? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be holistic? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to reintermediate interactively. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We always repurpose seamless iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to generate seamlessly than to incentivize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and IIS. The aptitude to facilitate macro-nano-intuitively leads to the capability to synergize magnetically. Think subscriber-defined. Think visionary. Think out-of-the-box, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and DOM. We have proven we know that it is better to engage iteravely than to synthesize extensibly. We will generate the power of reality-based, visionary nano-versioning to architect. Think C2C2B. We will enable the ability of supply-chains to brand. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! men-in-white practically invented the term "macro-performance". What does the standard industry term "cyber-e-business strategic, strategic paradigms" really mean? We always scale user-defined compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! The markets factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will envisioneer the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "reality-based". If you extend wirelessly, you may have to aggregate interactively. We frequently reinvent turn-key all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media synergies and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for regulating new web-enabled real-world, transparent TQM? Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript.