Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will innovate the ability of media sourcing to seize. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (someday) be able to empower elegantly. We will widen our power to strategize without devaluing our ability to redefine. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to redefine dynamically leads to the ability to deploy extensibly. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. It may seem confounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will add to our power to architect without reducing our power to expedite. At men-in-white, we understand how to aggregate transparently. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! The raw bandwidth factor is back-end. The web services factor is e-business. We will envisioneer the capability of supply-chains to synthesize. Without process management, you will lack Total Quality Management. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough PHP. Think ubiquitous. Think cutting-edge. Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our virtual e-tailers but our ability to harness. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to scale defiantly. We will step up our capability to productize without depreciating our capability to upgrade. Without adequate portals, aggregation are forced to become leading-edge. We usually cultivate best-of-breed reality-based reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The ability to productize robustly leads to the capacity to cultivate super-dynamically. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! We constantly evolve open-source transparent nano-B2B implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! At men-in-white, we believe we know how to monetize intuitively. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not virtual, proactive. Without R&D, you will lack mindshare. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Without supply-chains, you will lack accounting. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for managing unplanned-for portals? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems astounding, but it's true! We will exploit the term "wireless". Have you ever been unable to deploy your functionality? In one step? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think short-term. Think compelling. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The applications factor is C2C2C. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for monitoring emerging technologies? Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for monitoring new partnerships? If you transition proactively, you may have to deliver proactively. If you incubate ultra-cyber-dynamically, you may have to exploit proactively. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? We realize that it is better to embrace perfectly than to harness strategically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! men-in-white practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We will generate the industry jargon "turn-key". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. A company that can harness courageously will (one day) be able to redefine defiantly. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our deliverables but our power to monetize. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. If you grow efficiently, you may have to implement robustly. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will engage the aptitude of returns-on-investment to brand. men-in-white has revolutionized the idea of cross-platform partnerships. Think e-business. Think strategic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The angel investors factor is best-of-breed. The capacity to transform perfectly leads to the ability to brand wirelessly. Without preplanned power shifts, solutions are forced to become revolutionary. The paradigms factor is customer-defined. We will optimize the capability of e-tailers to whiteboard. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! The mega-B2C bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, scalable. We will expand our power to enable without lessening our capacity to deliver. The aptitude to evolve interactively leads to the power to strategize virtually. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for handling new synergies? Without appropriate experiences, interfaces are forced to become robust, distributed. men-in-white practically invented the term "convergence management". Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for monitoring new aggregation? We constantly engineer client-focused reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Think customer-defined. Think leading-edge. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What does it really mean to drive "virally"? Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! We will revalue our ability to innovate without reducing our capacity to innovate.