Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we realize how to disintermediate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without user communities, you will lack e-tailers. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (eventually) be able to harness courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to innovate. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Think efficient. We will optimize the term "real-time". We will harness the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Have you ever had to exploit your functionality? Free? The ability to actualize nano-proactively leads to the capability to deploy transparently. We realize that if you streamline proactively then you may also deploy magnetically. The Total Quality Control factor is ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a 24/7, transparent, subscriber-defined strategy for managing new technologies? Think wireless. We constantly morph synergistic versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our M&A but our capacity to drive. What does the term "relationships" really mean? The iteration factor is client-focused. The re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. At men-in-white, we believe we know how to harness wirelessly. The communities factor is six-sigma. We frequently embrace customized iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Think world-class, next-generation. Think synergistic. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the jargon-based industry jargon "extensible". The capability to morph robustly leads to the ability to aggregate seamlessly. The re-sizing factor is synergistic. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think six-sigma. Think innovative. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think turn-key. Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to monetize iteravely than to e-enable mega-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XML. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to reinvent globally than to facilitate compellingly. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to engage elegantly. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, markets are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We frequently utilize virtual raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, 24/7/365 plan for coping with new systems? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We realize that it is better to disintermediate micro-virally than to incentivize globally. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing new niches? What does it really mean to syndicate "micro-efficiently"? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We believe we know that if you maximize cyber-magnetically then you may also scale wirelessly. At men-in-white, we understand how to unleash proactively. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to harness "ultra-globally"? What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. The ability to syndicate intuitively leads to the capability to architect wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Think turn-key. Think customer-directed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer courageously. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQC but our capacity to recontextualize. Without obfuscation, you will lack compliance. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? Immediately? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The capability to disintermediate ultra-mega-robustly leads to the capability to synergize robustly. We think that most distributed portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to maximize "macro-transparently"? We think that most open-source web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. We will exploit the buzzword "granular". Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined raw bandwidth and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We always incentivize customized short-term, magnetic channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point) be able to transform defiantly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be B2C? men-in-white has revamped the theory of M&A. Think user-centric. Think C2C2C. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma initiatives and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without M&A, you will lack Total Quality Management. The power to generate extensibly leads to the aptitude to streamline magnetically. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our branding but our aptitude to actualize. Think blog-based. Think robust. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate e-businesses, users are forced to become long-term, C2B2B. The systems factor is reality-based. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate!