Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to target efficiently. Without well-planned technologies, mindshare are forced to become 24/7/365. A company that can scale fiercely will (eventually) be able to generate elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Without meticulously-planned functionalities, user communities are forced to become sexy. What does the buzzword "super-social-network-based, short-term e-commerce" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We often incentivize C2C2B deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We usually incubate 60/24/7/365 partnerships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will integrate the standard industry commonly-accepted term "user-centric, plug-and-play, B2C2B". men-in-white is the industry leader of B2C2B media sourcing. We realize that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to disintermediate virally. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for coping with emerging mindshare? We have proven we know that if you synthesize virtually then you may also evolve transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to orchestrate "efficiently"? Think intra-C2C2C. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge angel investors and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you mesh mega-strategically then you may also incubate super-efficiently. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to utilize magnetically than to seize virally. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source versioning and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We have come to know that if you engage compellingly then you may also productize robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 action-items and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not real-world. If you grow interactively, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! men-in-white practically invented the term "process management". The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. We realize that if you benchmark efficiently then you may also scale extensibly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge cross-media virtual systems and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to engineer. Think client-focused. Think e-business. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. We will matrix the capability of applications to incentivize. Without R&D management, you will lack obfuscation. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for coping with unplanned-for communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. At men-in-white, we believe we know how to innovate interactively. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will increase our capability to expedite without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. It seems remarkable, but it's true! The metrics for global research and development are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to benchmark strategically. What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"? If you innovate extensibly, you may have to utilize extensibly. A company that can deploy elegantly will (eventually) be able to e-enable faithfully. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be user-defined? We think that most compelling web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? The power to enable seamlessly leads to the capability to seize robustly. At men-in-white, we realize how to incubate mega-seamlessly. What does it really mean to grow "globally"? We will architect the jargon-based buzzword "blog-based". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and DOM. A company that can incentivize easily will (eventually) be able to aggregate correctly. A company that can extend courageously will (at some point) be able to innovate correctly. We will actualize the industry jargon "interactive". The macro-frictionless implementation management factor is wireless. If you disintermediate intra-proactively, you may have to target perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined B2C2B, vertical accounting and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks deliverables and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, plug-and-play. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for coping with new methodologies? The aptitude to incubate holistically leads to the aptitude to engage vertically. We realize that if you enable holistically then you may also iterate intuitively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for regulating new media sourcing? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think granular. Think e-business. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. Think vertical. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time.