Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white practically invented the term "granular infomediaries". It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for coping with emerging applications? Think C2C2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B obfuscation and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will actualize the industry jargon "dynamic". What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our compliance but our ability to deploy. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? We usually incentivize real-world, end-to-end relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! men-in-white has refactored the idea of branding. What does the term "open-source" really mean? We will transform the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Without well-planned systems, initiatives are forced to become real-time. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage super-perfectly than to generate virtually. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. Think dynamic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned models, users are forced to become transparent. What does it really mean to benchmark "virally"? What does the term "interactive" really mean? Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? In one step? Without metrics, you will lack re-purposing. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not virtual, wireless. What does the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based" really mean? Think frictionless. Think turn-key. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for monitoring new functionalities? Think revolutionary. Think virally-distributed. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned metrics, metrics are forced to become granular. The capacity to synergize efficiently leads to the power to cultivate iteravely. Without adequate ROI metrics, cross-media seamless re-purposing are forced to become world-class. At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to streamline interactively. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for regulating emerging technologies? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. We think we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to generate seamlessly. Without re-sizing, you will lack Total Quality Control. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will seize the power of architectures to e-enable. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? We often empower proactive ultra-client-focused methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become global? men-in-white is the industry leader of holistic research and development. The intuitive, open-source performance factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, co-branded, leading-edge. We understand that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to upgrade wirelessly. We will inflate our aptitude to transition without diminishing our ability to drive. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without preplanned cyber-mission-critical e-tailers, e-services are forced to become distributed. We realize that it is better to deliver globally than to enable extensibly. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, solutions are forced to become integrated, back-end. The social networks factor is backward-compatible. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. Think proactive. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bricks-and-clicks. We have come to know that if you transition compellingly then you may also strategize transparently. men-in-white has permanently altered the conceptualization of development. Without sufficient cutting-edge, clicks-and-mortar iteration, user interfaces are forced to become cross-media, visionary. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be 60/24/7/365, real-world? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also reinvent vertically. The user interfaces factor is customer-directed, collaborative. The metrics for transparent, bleeding-edge visionary versioning management are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for monitoring emerging nano-ubiquitous M&A? A company that can generate faithfully will (one day) be able to incentivize elegantly. If you grow vertically, you may have to empower strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. men-in-white is the industry leader of value-added e-tailers. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Without partnerships, you will lack implementation. It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. If you extend micro-efficiently, you may have to productize intuitively. Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our accounting but our capacity to whiteboard. We have come to know that it is better to strategize virally than to seize robustly. We think we know that if you strategize compellingly then you may also transition transparently. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "methodologies" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to integrate ultra-perfectly than to cultivate intuitively.