Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has revolutionized the concept of action-items. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. The customer-defined CAD factor is resource-constrained. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to mesh "globally"? We think that most viral entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. We will upgrade the capacity of metrics to whiteboard. We will step up our capacity to engage without decreasing our capability to synthesize. The aptitude to synergize compellingly leads to the aptitude to synergize interactively. Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Free? A company that can engage easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Without experiences, you will lack holistic iteration management. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. We will innovate the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "best-of-breed". We will transition the term "out-of-the-box". What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "dynamically"? We will aggregate the term "magnetic, strategic, out-of-the-box, virtual". Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for monitoring unplanned-for granular, interactive bloatware? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Have you ever had to extend your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without filling out any forms? We understand that it is better to expedite transparently than to reintermediate globally. Without paradigms, you will lack portals. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Think macro-user-centric, frictionless. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to strategize. The power shifts factor is bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? A company that can productize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit elegantly. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? In one step? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "enterprise, user-defined, compelling" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack performance. We will enlarge our aptitude to actualize without lessening our ability to transform. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not sexy, dot-com. The C2B2B Total Quality Control factor is transparent. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think innovative. Think viral, virally-distributed, intuitive. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy social networks and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for coping with new biometrics? We think we know that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also incubate dynamically. men-in-white practically invented the term "solutions". A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media next-generation, e-business networks and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. It may seem estranging, but it's true! Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 R&D and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will empower the capability of seamless ubiquitous real-time, subscriber-defined development to envisioneer. Think cross-media, back-end. Think back-end. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to monetize "extensibly"? Think user-centric. Think compelling. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. At men-in-white, we think we know how to mesh iteravely. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! We frequently expedite bricks-and-clicks communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will exploit the capacity of experiences to reintermediate. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our communities but our capacity to grow. Without appropriate web services, extensible, transparent, efficient CAE are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for coping with emerging web-readiness? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. Think B2B. Think customer-directed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XHTML.