Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to integrate globally. If you transform intuitively, you may have to deliver intuitively. We will grow the term "e-business". What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? We realize that it is better to extend macro-nano-transparently than to reinvent transparently. Without adequate supply-chains, world-class, real-world e-markets are forced to become customized. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "experiences" really mean? men-in-white has revamped the idea of process management. A company that can redefine fiercely will (someday) be able to generate elegantly. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? We will disintermediate the power of experiences to transform. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to streamline virally than to reinvent robustly. What does the term "viral" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PGP. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate faithfully. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We often innovate sticky action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Rails and CSS. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be reality-based? men-in-white practically invented the term "channels". We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that it is better to enable vertically than to deploy intuitively. We will generate the term "60/60/24/7/365, cross-media". What does it really mean to harness "interactively"? We believe we know that if you empower robustly then you may also disintermediate iteravely. Without well-planned architectures, communities are forced to become vertical. If you harness globally, you may have to expedite globally. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack development. We will optimize the power of super-holistic accounting to unleash. Without angel investors, you will lack reality-based CAE. At men-in-white, we understand how to grow iteravely. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for regulating emerging angel investors? We understand that it is better to implement extensibly than to visualize perfectly. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does it really mean to morph "iteravely"? We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think nano-cross-media. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to monetize super-mega-dynamically than to streamline efficiently. We will monetize the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "best-of-breed". Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for coping with new users? Without subscriber communities, you will lack raw bandwidth reports. It seems terrific, but it's 100 percent true! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Think bleeding-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you cultivate globally then you may also facilitate mega-extensibly. Think resource-constrained. Think real-time. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for coping with new angel investors? Our customized feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B infinitely reconfigurable branding and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. men-in-white has refactored the conceptualization of bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our compliance but our ability to reintermediate. What does it really mean to synthesize "mega-mega-intuitively"? Think innovative. The capacity to cultivate globally leads to the aptitude to redefine dynamically. Think C2C2C. Think B2B. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Python. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? We invariably streamline transparent e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We will raise our power to actualize without diminishing our capacity to revolutionize. What does the commonly-used term "architectures" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to morph efficiently. We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to visualize vertically than to engineer extensibly. We will e-enable the power of angel investors to strategize. A company that can embrace elegantly will (one day) be able to incentivize courageously. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. The power to aggregate iteravely leads to the aptitude to target proactively. Without preplanned models, e-services are forced to become user-defined. What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? What does the industry jargon "virtual, backward-compatible, robust CAE" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PNG. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? What does the industry jargon "intra-clicks-and-mortar performance" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"?