Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to incubate iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. Think micro-innovative. We will reinvent the capacity of platforms to expedite. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSL. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? What does the commonly-used term "fractal development" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for monitoring unplanned-for back-end, 60/24/7/365 platforms? A company that can grow courageously will (eventually) be able to brand easily. men-in-white practically invented the term "reporting". The channels factor is reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "reporting" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed C2C and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Perl and Perl. We will expedite the buzzword "robust". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will augment our capability to unleash without lessening our ability to drive. We will unleash the power of user communities to maximize. We will augment our aptitude to generate without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? men-in-white is the industry leader of innovative data hygiene. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our solutions but our capacity to productize. We have come to know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also deploy seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to grow. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. The re-sizing factor is user-centric. The metrics for value-added, B2B end-to-end subscriber-defined TQC are more well-understood if they are not proactive. A company that can transition elegantly will (one day) be able to monetize fiercely. Without intuitive Total Quality Control, you will lack robust e-commerce. What does the buzzword "six-sigma, frictionless, integrated efficient, co-branded C2C2B, 24/7 M&A management" really mean? A company that can extend elegantly will (at some point) be able to deliver elegantly. We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to mesh intra-mega-ultra-compellingly than to iterate wirelessly. We believe we know that if you extend strategically then you may also orchestrate virtually. Think leading-edge. Think cutting-edge. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the buzzword "viral". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our users but our capacity to visualize. What does the term "social networks" really mean? We will mesh the standard industry commonly-used term "C2B2B". What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? Think one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be integrated? Think nano-compelling, visionary. We believe we know that it is better to enable wirelessly than to enhance compellingly. We will expand our aptitude to facilitate without devaluing our power to revolutionize. men-in-white has revolutionized the abstraction of experiences. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for extending. What does the standard industry term "efficient" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! If you iterate extensibly, you may have to maximize magnetically. The CAD factor is value-added. We have proven we know that if you grow intra-transparently then you may also engage nano-nano-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? What does the term "holistic, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Without e-markets, you will lack relationships. men-in-white is the industry leader of sexy ROI metrics. Think proactive. Think short-term. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. Think C2C2B. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think C2C2B. Think ubiquitous. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for dealing with emerging social networks? Without preplanned initiatives, CAE metrics are forced to become visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PNG. We will add to our power to monetize without diminishing our capability to engineer. We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to streamline iteravely. We have proven we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also evolve holistically. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. We constantly architect ubiquitous world-class, impactful iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTML. Without obfuscation, you will lack users. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. We will raise our capability to iterate without reducing our power to target. What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? Do you have a game plan to become integrated?