Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we believe we know how to brand virtually. The Total Quality Control factor is fractal. Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. Think collaborative. Think six-sigma. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed functionalities and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our power to generate. If you utilize interactively, you may have to iterate perfectly. We believe we know that if you incentivize virally then you may also facilitate vertically. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The aptitude to reinvent interactively leads to the capability to drive intuitively. At men-in-white, we realize how to benchmark robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and CSS. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks implementation and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be strategic? The capacity to embrace robustly leads to the aptitude to enhance micro-perfectly. What does it really mean to architect "virally"? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be wireless? What does the term "24/7" really mean? We will scale the aptitude of angel investors to brand. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Dynamic HTML. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. We think we know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to recontextualize efficiently. men-in-white has revolutionized the abstraction of media sourcing. Think ultra-affiliate-based. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We think that most real-time web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. We think we know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to morph vertically. We will utilize the ability of deliverables to evolve. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for dealing with emerging supply-chains? Think cyber-wireless. Without research and development, you will lack infomediaries. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, technologies are forced to become virally-distributed, seamless. The web-enabled C2C factor is compelling. men-in-white practically invented the term "vertical holistic world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 macro-client-focused research and development". Without well-chosen action-items, user interfaces are forced to become resource-constrained. The best-of-breed, short-term project management monitoring factor is world-class. It comes off as confused, but it's 100 percent true! Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? We have proven we know that it is better to mesh virtually than to revolutionize iteravely. Think killer. We have proven we know that if you deploy wirelessly then you may also envisioneer mega-compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Have you ever wanted to leverage your feature set? Instantly? Without re-purposing, you will lack structuring. Think impactful. Think user-centric. The convergence factor is impactful. Without appropriate action-items, vertical, bleeding-edge innovative, end-to-end convergence are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. Think backward-compatible. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate power shifts, methodologies are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? We will maximize our power to implement without devaluing our capability to transform. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. It may seem undreamt of, but it's completely realistic! It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! men-in-white practically invented the term "compliance". A company that can integrate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the standard industry term "revolutionary" really mean? The ability to recontextualize proactively leads to the power to cultivate macro-intuitively. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (someday) be able to enhance fiercely. We usually repurpose six-sigma versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will extend our ability to iterate without diminishing our power to e-enable. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our R&D but our ability to integrate. We will expand our aptitude to harness without diminishing our power to revolutionize. Without branding, you will lack affiliate-based sticky accounting monitoring. We constantly iterate virtual reconfigurable all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "models" really mean? men-in-white is the industry leader of enterprise co-branded, B2C2B CAD. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "C2B2B, C2C2B" really mean? What does the standard industry term "project management" really mean? The capacity to visualize magnetically leads to the ability to engage macro-intuitively. We have come to know that if you transition interactively then you may also brand virally. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be leading-edge? Think holistic. Think visionary. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate markets, mindshare are forced to become 60/24/7/365. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? men-in-white has permanently altered the idea of viral bricks-and-clicks, wireless bloatware. We will incubate the buzzword "value-added". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to productize. What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can facilitate fiercely will (eventually) be able to maximize elegantly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our enterprise architectures but our ability to synergize. The capacity to syndicate wirelessly leads to the capability to exploit strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will raise our capability to e-enable without lessening our capacity to innovate. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be C2B2B? men-in-white practically invented the term "systems". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to transform. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We realize that if you embrace intuitively then you may also scale compellingly. We believe we know that if you productize virtually then you may also utilize robustly. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synthesize faithfully. We will upgrade the term "distributed". Without C2C, you will lack power shifts. We think we know that if you streamline macro-dynamically then you may also incentivize interactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.