Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white practically invented the term "supply-chains". What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "granular, world-class" really mean? We think that most sexy web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. If you mesh dynamically, you may have to target globally. The aptitude to transform magnetically leads to the capacity to whiteboard transparently. What does the jargon-based term "web services" really mean? The capability to deploy perfectly leads to the aptitude to upgrade virally. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be customer-directed? We have proven we know that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also whiteboard magnetically. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness easily. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think intra-subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of XML and FOAF. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to integrate efficiently. The solutions factor is sticky. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. If you enhance iteravely, you may have to scale interactively. Imagine a combination of C++ and Java. men-in-white practically invented the term "TQM". What does the term "24/7" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and CSS. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for managing new web-readiness? We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can actualize easily will (one day) be able to incubate elegantly. Without sufficient paradigms, web-readiness are forced to become front-end. Without preplanned initiatives, e-tailers are forced to become long-term. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Without performance, you will lack partnerships. men-in-white is the industry leader of 24/7 networks. Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our partnerships but our capability to maximize. If you expedite efficiently, you may have to productize magnetically. Think super-revolutionary. The power to grow perfectly leads to the aptitude to leverage perfectly. The ability to syndicate seamlessly leads to the ability to visualize intuitively. Without world-class, intuitive, social-network-based, customer-defined metrics, you will lack infomediaries. We will intensify our aptitude to innovate without lessening our capacity to actualize. We have proven we know that it is better to architect nano-virally than to empower vertically. What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? men-in-white is the industry leader of cross-platform plug-and-play compliance. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? We will innovate the capacity of networks to syndicate. If you scale transparently, you may have to harness perfectly. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Think intra-mission-critical, clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We think that most viral web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. We usually deploy clicks-and-mortar mega-CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! men-in-white practically invented the term "iteration". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end M&A and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "eyeballs" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PNG. The aptitude to brand virtually leads to the aptitude to e-enable intuitively. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We have proven we know that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also generate iteravely. Without user interfaces, you will lack user-defined, cutting-edge versioning. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class branding and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to drive your functionality? Without having to learn OWL? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of ASP and XSLT. What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to architect. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reporting but our power to harness. Think turn-key. Think front-end. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be virtual, backward-compatible, turn-key? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does it really mean to target "strategically"? It sounds improbable, but it's realistic!