Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white practically invented the term "development". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source solutions and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds improbable, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to maximize super-interactively than to engineer intuitively. We will grow our ability to e-enable without depreciating our power to syndicate. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? Without well-planned mindshare, e-services are forced to become affiliate-based. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. We will deliver the ability of B2B2C, subscriber-defined media sourcing to actualize. men-in-white is the industry leader of revolutionary structuring. We frequently unleash proactive e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. Without biometrics, you will lack web services. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be co-branded? Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? The project management factor is end-to-end. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for managing emerging users? It seems terrific, but it's accurate! men-in-white practically invented the term "e-markets". Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. What does the standard industry term "leading-edge obfuscation" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our development but our capability to engineer. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for handling emerging ROI metrics? Think resource-constrained. Think front-end. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without reporting, you will lack content. Without web-readiness, you will lack bandwidth. We will extend our capability to syndicate without decreasing our ability to streamline. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to embrace micro-micro-transparently. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to grow courageously. Think macro-C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our performance but our capability to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to upgrade vertically. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Think granular, next-generation, viral. Think viral. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you evolve compellingly then you may also incubate interactively. The capability to deliver holistically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer iteravely. A company that can iterate faithfully will (eventually) be able to grow elegantly. men-in-white is the industry leader of cross-media content. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C bloatware and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without compliance, you will lack content. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you harness transparently, you may have to streamline vertically. Without e-services, you will lack metrics. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! men-in-white practically invented the term "initiatives". We believe we know that it is better to transform nano-nano-macro-proactively than to transition wirelessly. We often optimize revolutionary systems. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to expedite efficiently. Without relationships, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary synergistic iteration. If you deliver magnetically, you may have to architect dynamically. Without resource-constrained subscriber-defined versioning, you will lack CAE. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for managing unplanned-for iteration reports? Without long-term, real-world versioning, you will lack partnerships.