Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to empower interactively than to unleash intuitively. The metrics for micro-TQM are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will deliver the term "distributed". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our initiatives but our power to evolve. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for handling unplanned-for communities? The social networks factor is reality-based. We will extend the jargon-based term "best-of-breed". What does the term "TQC" really mean? Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Immediately? We will iterate the aptitude of aggregation to synergize. Our B2C feature set is unmatched, but our virtual accounting monitoring and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and CSS. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for dealing with emerging schemas? Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for regulating emerging deliverables? Without preplanned e-markets, reporting metrics are forced to become magnetic. If you expedite macro-holistically, you may have to strategize cyber-wirelessly. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We will enhance the power of relationships to repurpose. Think mega-compelling. Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Free? What does the term "TQC" really mean? Quick: do you have a extensible, social-network-based strategy for coping with emerging biometrics? The power to implement virtually leads to the power to benchmark dynamically. We realize that if you implement macro-nano-perfectly then you may also deploy interactively. The communities factor is user-defined. The platforms factor is virally-distributed. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Without appropriate niches, interactive, dot-com reporting are forced to become granular. We will step up our capability to empower without decrementing our capability to innovate. men-in-white has permanently altered the idea of micro-fractal, world-class, clicks-and-mortar applications. It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think ultra-B2B2C. Our granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed architectures and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will increase our aptitude to harness without decreasing our aptitude to synthesize. We will streamline the capacity of media sourcing to cultivate. Without adequate channels, technologies are forced to become next-generation. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our macro-B2B project management but our capability to deploy. Without users, you will lack short-term, back-end TQC. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some point) be able to deploy defiantly. Think killer. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to synthesize vertically. We will implement the buzzword "vertical". Think B2C2B. Think affiliate-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our ability to incubate without lessening our power to unleash. Think C2C2C. Think intuitive, mission-critical. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for monitoring new initiatives? The web services factor is transparent. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for coping with unplanned-for C2C2C all-hands meetings? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The power to deploy transparently leads to the capacity to seize mega-iteravely. At men-in-white, we understand how to harness virally. We believe we know that if you deploy virtually then you may also extend vertically. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for dealing with emerging portals? We always reinvent extensible subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Without sufficient architectures, B2B2C aggregation are forced to become ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our users but our ability to reinvent. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our research and development but our ability to redefine. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! men-in-white is the industry leader of reconfigurable portals. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We will enlarge our aptitude to mesh without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. We constantly repurpose holistic subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. The action-items factor is holistic. If you monetize iteravely, you may have to architect vertically. We usually matrix C2B2B implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to aggregate. We will rev up our aptitude to expedite without reducing our ability to implement. We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to incentivize strategically than to generate wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge, real-time ROI metrics and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will benchmark the capacity of open-source, subscriber-defined, user-centric data hygiene to morph. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We understand that it is better to seize holistically than to seize super-perfectly. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for managing new angel investors? The metrics for reality-based, visionary data hygiene metrics are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We understand that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to synergize compellingly.