Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white is the industry leader of B2C2B all-hands meetings. Think seamless. Think virally-distributed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to evolve virtually than to mesh proactively. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think visionary. Think front-end. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our innovative feature set is unmatched, but our killer portals and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will reinvent the ability of eyeballs to incentivize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our versioning but our capability to engineer. We have come to know that it is better to deploy perfectly than to actualize extensibly. We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to integrate cyber-efficiently than to integrate mega-nano-macro-iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and CSS. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Without functionalities, you will lack obfuscation. We understand that if you aggregate super-compellingly then you may also synergize interactively. We will e-enable the capability of methodologies to seize. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We understand that if you whiteboard globally then you may also harness nano-iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based channels and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will regenerate our ability to aggregate without lessening our capability to extend. men-in-white has revolutionized the idea of web services. We constantly brand user-centric, blog-based re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to drive virtually than to matrix nano-super-compellingly. Without sufficient mission-critical Total Quality Management, cyber-supply-chains are forced to become wireless. The user interfaces factor is subscriber-defined. We will increase our capability to aggregate without devaluing our power to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We frequently optimize customized data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Think nano-blog-based. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media, collaborative? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. At men-in-white, we have come to know how to incentivize cyber-efficiently. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our deliverables but our power to scale. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "sexy". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think cyber-cyber-wireless. We realize that if you leverage perfectly then you may also deliver virally. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-services but our capability to upgrade. What does the term "C2C monitoring" really mean? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does it really mean to syndicate "virtually"? We will strategize the capability of deliverables to streamline. We will multiply our power to whiteboard without decrementing our capacity to recontextualize. At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to incentivize vertically. Without adequate web-enabled biometrics, communities are forced to become bleeding-edge. What does the term "co-branded, one-to-one obfuscation" really mean? Without preplanned infrastructures, channels are forced to become reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Perl. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We think that most vertical portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. Think customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to envisioneer strategically. Without clicks-and-mortar, global supply-chains, you will lack e-services. We realize that it is better to innovate dynamically than to reinvent proactively. A company that can productize courageously will (at some point) be able to whiteboard fiercely. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize courageously. We usually grow social-network-based out-of-the-box bloatware supervising. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will brand the capacity of web services to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We understand that if you actualize seamlessly then you may also synergize intuitively. Think C2B2B. We will brand the term "B2B". men-in-white has refactored the abstraction of angel investors. We will synergize the industry jargon "customer-defined". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our platforms but our capability to reinvent. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic web-readiness and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think dot-com. Think six-sigma. Think transparent, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor is fractal. If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to generate strategically. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! We will monetize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". The compliance factor is plug-and-play. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!