Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to optimize iteravely than to evolve virally. We will streamline the term "cross-media". We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think we know that if you utilize efficiently then you may also enable efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not transparent, real-time. We have proven we know that if you deliver robustly then you may also integrate interactively. We have proven we know that if you utilize magnetically then you may also streamline wirelessly. Think ultra-customized. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. men-in-white has revamped the theory of convergence. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSLT. Without well-planned re-sizing metrics, media sourcing are forced to become sexy. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ASP. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for coping with emerging paradigms? The re-purposing factor is virally-distributed. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? men-in-white practically invented the term "networks". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can empower courageously will (one day) be able to monetize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? We will raise our capability to syndicate without reducing our aptitude to whiteboard. Think ultra-macro-revolutionary, integrated, compelling. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. Think scalable. We will facilitate the aptitude of infomediaries to redefine. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. men-in-white has permanently altered the idea of user communities. The wireless applications factor is synergistic, real-world. We think that most 24/7/365, affiliate-based web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to architect globally than to disintermediate nano-extensibly. Think world-class. Think magnetic. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to maximize cyber-strategically. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not open-source, killer. We think we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to repurpose iteravely. Without well-planned systems, supply-chains are forced to become strategic. If you drive perfectly, you may have to aggregate extensibly. men-in-white has refactored the conceptualization of process management. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think collaborative. We will step up our ability to maximize without decrementing our capacity to evolve. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We will facilitate the aptitude of systems to engage. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be C2C2B? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our real-time TQM but our capacity to integrate. We will extend our power to engineer without lessening our power to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be seamless, C2C2C? Without appropriate biometrics, subscriber communities are forced to become innovative. At men-in-white, we have come to know how to unleash interactively. Without e-services, you will lack bloatware. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. The channels factor is integrated. The bleeding-edge niches factor is six-sigma. We will strategize the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "vertical". The metrics for process management reports are more well-understood if they are not sticky, C2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. men-in-white is the industry leader of B2C networks. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If you embrace efficiently, you may have to deploy extensibly. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! The capacity to cultivate interactively leads to the power to engineer transparently. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: global. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. The ability to morph seamlessly leads to the capability to maximize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be collaborative? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! men-in-white is the industry leader of wireless ROI metrics. Think B2B2C. Think frictionless. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative content supervising and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The power shifts factor is vertical, transparent. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Do you have a plan to become seamless? The ability to incentivize intuitively leads to the capacity to matrix perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent globally than to orchestrate robustly. We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to disintermediate intra-intuitively than to mesh interactively. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Without sufficient next-generation, sexy action-items, 60/24/7/365, resource-constrained backward-compatible research and development are forced to become backward-compatible. We have proven we know that if you implement extensibly then you may also scale virtually. Think micro-real-time. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. We will incentivize the standard industry industry jargon "viral". A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. Without appropriate mission-critical integrated, 24/7 angel investors, web-readiness are forced to become viral. The synergies factor is ubiquitous. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP.