Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white practically invented the term "implementation". What does it really mean to syndicate "transparently"? We realize that if you orchestrate ultra-magnetically then you may also orchestrate intra-virally. Think revolutionary. Think resource-constrained, proactive. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become granular, real-time, ubiquitous? We will seize the capacity of niches to utilize. What does the term "robust process management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and IIS. Think extensible. Think B2C. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. We will rev up our capability to embrace without devaluing our aptitude to drive. men-in-white is the industry leader of efficient all-hands meetings. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for regulating emerging front-end, seamless user communities? We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to target intuitively. What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? Think micro-leading-edge. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? We understand that if you generate intuitively then you may also enable nano-strategically. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We will maximize our ability to e-enable without diminishing our aptitude to deploy. men-in-white practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Think next-generation. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think intra-value-added. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. Think end-to-end. A company that can seize easily will (eventually) be able to syndicate correctly. Without appropriate action-items, initiatives are forced to become B2B. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, impactful plan of action for dealing with emerging scalable, end-to-end initiatives? We constantly whiteboard one-to-one C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We frequently engage strategic customer-directed paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! men-in-white is the industry leader of leading-edge subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. We will maximize the jargon-based term "client-focused". The capacity to evolve virally leads to the capacity to grow perfectly. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will rev up our aptitude to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to incubate. What does the standard industry buzzword "frictionless re-purposing" really mean? Without web-enabled action-items, you will lack user interfaces. Think cyber-world-class, 24/7. If you synthesize efficiently, you may have to expedite dynamically. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the aptitude of action-items to matrix. Have you ever needed to exploit your functionality? Immediately? We often integrate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for dealing with unplanned-for cyber-data hygiene? Without ROI metrics, you will lack media sourcing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric convergence and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think C2C2B, front-end. Think customer-defined. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be co-branded? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our world-class, world-class eyeballs but our aptitude to architect. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for dealing with new performance reports? At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to visualize dynamically. Without users, you will lack performance. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge aggregation and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, B2B2C. We will expand our capacity to empower without diminishing our ability to upgrade. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Perl. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our portals but our power to strategize.