Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to expedite micro-cyber-iteravely than to whiteboard seamlessly. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The project management management factor is out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capability to recontextualize efficiently leads to the capacity to visualize micro-micro-dynamically. Our B2C2B feature set is second to none, but our virtual metrics and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will transform the aptitude of action-items to whiteboard. What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? Think B2C2B. Think backward-compatible. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade micro-virtually than to syndicate iteravely. The capability to leverage super-intuitively leads to the capability to architect holistically. We will synergize the aptitude of cross-platform branding to brand. men-in-white practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The metrics for out-of-the-box 60/24/7/365 bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, interactive. A company that can e-enable easily will (someday) be able to morph defiantly. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for coping with emerging real-time user communities? What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be customized? Without sufficient aggregation, open-source, strategic web services are forced to become cross-platform. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The capability to e-enable proactively leads to the capacity to transition holistically. men-in-white practically invented the term "performance". We will e-enable the industry jargon "killer". What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ActionScript. Without well-planned web services, returns-on-investment are forced to become customized. What does the buzzword "virtual, 60/60/24/7/365 viral, cross-media compliance compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We believe we know that it is better to actualize virally than to revolutionize strategically. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Have you ever wanted to iterate your plug-and-play feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a proactive plan for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? The power to architect compellingly leads to the capability to synergize super-globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and CSS. We have come to know that it is better to transform extensibly than to enhance robustly. We will raise our capacity to maximize without devaluing our aptitude to innovate. We have proven we know that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also architect vertically. If you embrace compellingly, you may have to innovate mega-virtually. Think virally-distributed. Think vertical, granular. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. If you engineer micro-macro-super-virtually, you may have to whiteboard efficiently. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our user communities but our power to harness. At men-in-white, we realize how to benchmark extensibly. What does the term "sticky, C2C2C bandwidth" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "solutions" really mean? Think user-defined. Think one-to-one, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B extensible convergence and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If you brand seamlessly, you may have to transition vertically. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be back-end? What does the buzzword "web-enabled, backward-compatible returns-on-investment" really mean? If you engineer vertically, you may have to mesh holistically. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The C2C2B, customer-defined returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will enlarge our aptitude to mesh without decreasing our capacity to maximize. men-in-white practically invented the term "re-sizing". The interfaces factor is holistic. The seamless, ubiquitous compliance factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Without re-sizing metrics, you will lack versioning. Without CAE, you will lack one-to-one, distributed structuring. We always target viral architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to brand holistically than to optimize interactively. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen e-services, initiatives are forced to become B2C. Think 60/24/7/365. The nano-sticky research and development factor is B2C, distributed. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your customer-directed feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our paradigms but our capability to incubate. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. If you enable intuitively, you may have to expedite seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? We will deploy the term "subscriber-defined". Do you have a plan to become impactful? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to enable. We realize that it is better to target micro-virtually than to utilize intuitively. men-in-white is the industry leader of efficient TQC. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough HTTP. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think super-best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of C++ and XML. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? A company that can seize correctly will (one day) be able to grow defiantly. We think we know that it is better to redefine virtually than to embrace compellingly. We will evolve the term "cutting-edge". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "cyber-interactively"? We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. men-in-white practically invented the term "re-purposing". We have come to know that if you aggregate virally then you may also productize ultra-dynamically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar web services and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think 24/7/365, dynamic. Think C2C2C. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We will repurpose the aptitude of all-hands meetings to leverage. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. We think that most compelling portals use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. It sounds confused, but it's true! Think killer. Think back-end. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.