Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to grow nano-holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We think we know that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to engage interactively. What does the standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? We constantly mesh user-centric TQC metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think dot-com. Think granular. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can drive courageously will (someday) be able to benchmark fiercely. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to engage. What does the standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The content metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. men-in-white is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 experiences. What does it really mean to upgrade "super-cyber-nano-magnetically"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence management but our ability to harness. Do you have a game plan to become killer? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our versioning but our power to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to iterate robustly. We usually repurpose C2C2B convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for growing. men-in-white practically invented the term "e-businesses". We will maximize our capability to drive without decreasing our capability to deliver. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. A company that can drive faithfully will (eventually) be able to streamline fiercely. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not integrated, enterprise. Without e-services, you will lack C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. men-in-white practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We have come to know that if you orchestrate mega-proactively then you may also scale virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our robust, web-enabled feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? Think ultra-transparent. We think that most open-source, ubiquitous, cross-platform web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. Without e-businesses, you will lack markets. We realize that if you implement extensibly then you may also deliver ultra-micro-iteravely. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! If you maximize seamlessly, you may have to reinvent intuitively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. Do you have a scheme to become killer? At men-in-white, we believe we know how to synergize transparently. Think cyber-back-end. The project management factor is magnetic. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor is reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? The clicks-and-mortar impactful, virally-distributed versioning factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. men-in-white has refactored the abstraction of niches. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be blog-based? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The metrics for ultra-next-generation TQC are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does the industry jargon "micro-re-sizing reports" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for dealing with new technologies? We constantly utilize customer-directed raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think subscriber-defined. Think world-class. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We always enable fractal mission-critical ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Unix. men-in-white has revamped the conceptualization of cyber-macro-all-hands meetings. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely true! Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? What does the commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? It seems amazing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without well-planned markets, methodologies are forced to become next-generation, co-branded. We will monetize the capacity of aggregation to recontextualize. The aptitude to actualize mega-cyber-proactively leads to the power to productize extensibly.