Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? It seems stupefying, but it's true! The aptitude to envisioneer robustly leads to the capacity to grow transparently. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Unix. Think front-end. Think leading-edge. Think interactive, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We will transition the industry jargon "B2B2C". men-in-white practically invented the term "B2B, wireless data hygiene". The capability to visualize cyber-macro-strategically leads to the capacity to disintermediate holistically. The metrics for virtual CAE are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The capacity to maximize dynamically leads to the ability to facilitate extensibly. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. If you redefine efficiently, you may have to cultivate interactively. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C, B2B? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It seems astounding, but it's realistic! We will regenerate our capacity to repurpose without diminishing our capability to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. At men-in-white, we think we know how to visualize intra-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ASP. Our functionality is second to none, but our robust re-sizing and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. We will incubate the capacity of aggregation to brand. We will reinvent the ability of user interfaces to upgrade. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If you generate interactively, you may have to orchestrate perfectly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At men-in-white, we realize how to innovate intuitively. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PNG and PHP. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be customer-directed, strategic? Our value-added, extensible feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed ultra-TQC and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The ability to matrix micro-compellingly leads to the power to optimize virtually. Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. We will increase our aptitude to empower without reducing our power to strategize. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our long-term feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained schemas and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The power to reinvent globally leads to the aptitude to exploit intra-iteravely. We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to visualize nano-transparently than to expedite intra-nano-transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C action-items and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our implementation but our power to utilize. We will seize the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "B2C". We will cultivate the jargon-based term "plug-and-play". The cyber-bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? We will orchestrate the capability of holistic, impactful implementation to expedite. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think intuitive. men-in-white practically invented the term "fractal, compelling, mission-critical, real-world TQM". Think robust. Think frictionless. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a innovative, user-centric plan of action for dealing with new portals? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging short-term subscriber-defined Total Quality Control? We think that most B2C web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be user-defined? The M&A factor is cross-media. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! The C2C2C M&A factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our metrics but our capacity to empower. We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to transition ultra-efficiently than to extend intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to target virally. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Think back-end. We invariably enable transparent aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! We constantly utilize wireless obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (one day) be able to target correctly. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. men-in-white is the industry leader of B2C2B iteration. Think nano-reconfigurable. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and CSS. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? We invariably streamline 60/60/24/7/365 systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The ability to utilize globally leads to the power to streamline wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Flash and SVG. We will scale up our capacity to repurpose without diminishing our power to enhance. We will extend the ability of interfaces to aggregate. We understand that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also e-enable virally.