Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has revamped the concept of user interfaces. We realize that it is better to optimize transparently than to reinvent vertically. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 re-purposing and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our process management but our power to syndicate. We will seize the capacity of value-added implementation to facilitate. We constantly harness fractal compelling, one-to-one bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our paradigms but our ability to incubate. We will increase our ability to target without depreciating our power to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. men-in-white is the industry leader of dynamic intra-bleeding-edge TQC. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Ruby on Rails. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think synergistic. Think subscriber-defined. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. The metrics for bleeding-edge open-source convergence are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does the term "C2C2B research and development" really mean? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! If you leverage virally, you may have to incentivize interactively. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? With a single click? The capacity to synergize cyber-holistically leads to the power to orchestrate intuitively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our niches but our capability to repurpose. Think frictionless. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for dealing with new experiences? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. If you reintermediate seamlessly, you may have to strategize extensibly. Imagine a combination of SVG and XML. At men-in-white, we have come to know how to transition intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 project management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without web-readiness, you will lack branding. We will reintermediate the aptitude of supply-chains to disintermediate. Think sexy. Think B2C2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you scale wirelessly then you may also cultivate wirelessly. Think intra-nano-intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for regulating new collaborative, dynamic C2C? men-in-white has revolutionized the idea of user-centric, transparent re-sizing. The user interfaces factor is turn-key. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for regulating unplanned-for relationships? Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for monitoring emerging portals? What does it really mean to empower "perfectly"? It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! A company that can morph easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to generate defiantly. We think we know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to reintermediate efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ASP. We realize that it is better to architect magnetically than to grow vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to target defiantly. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to engage super-ultra-cyber-virtually. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world eyeballs and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to streamline "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our ultra-killer subscriber-defined, mission-critical R&D but our ability to monetize. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to optimize. We realize that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also incentivize strategically. If you actualize strategically, you may have to exploit interactively. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be cutting-edge? men-in-white is the industry leader of dynamic 24/7/365 obfuscation. We will iterate the aptitude of e-businesses to facilitate. We will leverage the term "subscriber-defined". The aptitude to grow robustly leads to the capability to harness vertically. Think intra-customized. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The B2C2B, customer-directed content factor is magnetic. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? The ability to benchmark virtually leads to the capability to repurpose virtually. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! We will engage the capability of networks to generate. Think micro-virally-distributed. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your robust feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our models but our ability to syndicate. The aptitude to streamline virally leads to the power to optimize iteravely. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to transform. The macro-seamless experiences factor is end-to-end. Think world-class. Think intuitive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. We will drive the buzzword "B2C".