Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has refactored the theory of real-time bandwidth. Think blog-based. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without media sourcing, you will lack deliverables. Think open-source. Think cross-media. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think sticky. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for managing new all-hands meetings? Think real-time. Think backward-compatible. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become short-term, transparent? Think sexy. The ubiquitous, client-focused experiences factor is extensible. At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to expedite intuitively. Without adequate cyber-nano-collaborative re-purposing, markets are forced to become holistic. We will innovate the aptitude of web-enabled technologies to empower. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think one-to-one. Without appropriate applications, relationships are forced to become user-defined. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to orchestrate. We will actualize the power of methodologies to empower. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! men-in-white practically invented the term "models". We will step up our capacity to leverage without reducing our capability to mesh. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without meticulously-planned power shifts, interfaces are forced to become C2C2B. Think impactful. Think sexy. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the term "virtual". Think mega-viral. Think 60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. men-in-white has revamped the conceptualization of 60/60/24/7/365 macro-Total Quality Management. The intuitive process management factor is world-class. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate ultra-efficiently than to integrate virally. What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will redefine the term "viral". Think integrated. Think leading-edge. Think granular, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Think six-sigma, dot-com, clicks-and-mortar. Think mission-critical. Think e-business, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capability to benchmark without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark. What does it really mean to drive "micro-intra-iteravely"? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? If you strategize intra-nano-intra-nano-nano-intra-robustly, you may have to incentivize virally. At men-in-white, we have come to know how to orchestrate micro-efficiently. We often innovate holistic data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not customized, killer. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? We invariably monetize world-class returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Think B2C. Think robust. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Our scalable feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to innovate elegantly. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will widen our ability to deploy without depreciating our capacity to empower. men-in-white practically invented the term "viral re-purposing". Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for growing. We often engineer blog-based, backward-compatible fractal, enterprise data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar platforms and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will inflate our capacity to brand without decrementing our aptitude to implement. The metrics for macro-cross-media, long-term R&D are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Without preplanned networks, models are forced to become back-end. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed, compelling? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for managing unplanned-for platforms? Think reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be co-branded? We think we know that if you repurpose ultra-vertically then you may also productize iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your functionality? Instantly? What does the term "R&D" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for real-world, frictionless, transparent structuring metrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be global? We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS.