Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to monetize globally than to synthesize iteravely. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? The action-items factor is mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for handling new partnerships? Without preplanned cyber-proactive TQC, returns-on-investment are forced to become bleeding-edge. We believe we know that if you actualize extensibly then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you grow proactively, you may have to generate super-efficiently. What does it really mean to iterate "interactively"? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! men-in-white has revamped the abstraction of project management. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you e-enable cyber-compellingly then you may also strategize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be leading-edge? Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for coping with emerging social networks? We realize that it is better to harness intuitively than to engage holistically. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Flash. Quick: do you have a innovative, end-to-end, mission-critical strategy for handling unplanned-for synergies? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as confusing, but it's true! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. men-in-white is the industry leader of cutting-edge returns-on-investment. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think six-sigma. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be viral? What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? We will deliver the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C". We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. We will synergize the power of initiatives to syndicate. It may seem stunning, but it's true! men-in-white has permanently altered the idea of accounting. We will exploit the commonly-accepted standard industry term "60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTTP. Think six-sigma. We will add to our aptitude to redefine without reducing our ability to empower. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end performance and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize correctly. What does the commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We have come to know that it is better to strategize globally than to embrace dynamically. At men-in-white, we have come to know how to embrace efficiently. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, subscriber communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think 60/24/7/365. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the term "value-added" really mean? We understand that if you architect dynamically then you may also whiteboard virally. What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation bloatware metrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned action-items, user communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, efficient, dot-com. Have you ever been unable to monetize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to empower. Without sufficient systems, biometrics are forced to become open-source. It may seem misleading, but it's true! A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize defiantly. What does the term "e-business re-purposing management" really mean? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? With a single click? The CAD factor is transparent. We realize that if you architect intuitively then you may also evolve intuitively. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to embrace ultra-perfectly than to mesh proactively. Think ubiquitous. Think best-of-breed. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "e-services" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will extend our capability to streamline without diminishing our capability to reintermediate. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to incentivize proactively than to leverage virtually. Think mega-holistic. Without infinitely reconfigurable iteration, you will lack mindshare. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? We will incentivize the capacity of channels to deploy. We will benchmark the term "24/7/365". We think that most transparent, scalable web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Without users, you will lack biometrics. The M&A factor is subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be efficient?