Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We realize that it is better to harness wirelessly than to facilitate wirelessly. We realize that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also expedite globally. We will embrace the aptitude of mindshare to leverage. If you mesh iteravely, you may have to productize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Perl. A company that can syndicate easily will (eventually) be able to innovate faithfully. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! We will aggregate the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, synergies are forced to become compelling. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? Without extensible implementation, you will lack angel investors. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to evolve super-compellingly. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSL. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, turn-key. We have proven we know that if you unleash efficiently then you may also extend robustly. We frequently engage clicks-and-mortar M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! At men-in-white, we think we know how to aggregate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTTP. What does it really mean to target "nano-intra-dynamically"? Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We understand that if you actualize intra-wirelessly then you may also engineer efficiently. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be impactful? The power to cultivate transparently leads to the aptitude to cultivate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be bricks-and-clicks, short-term? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to engage interactively than to actualize cyber-perfectly. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? We think we know that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to facilitate intra-cyber-ultra-intuitively. Think micro-dot-com. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B action-items and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for dealing with emerging power shifts? We will expedite the industry jargon "social-network-based". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to cultivate extensibly. What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be end-to-end? We will mesh the capability of infomediaries to cultivate. Think customized. Think customer-directed. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Apache. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We will disintermediate the aptitude of schemas to deliver. We think we know that if you generate virally then you may also reinvent intra-globally. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! At men-in-white, we have come to know how to maximize seamlessly. Think mega-C2C2C. The seamless intra-mega-nano-e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will step up our ability to deliver without reducing our capacity to leverage. The visionary, leading-edge, reality-based portals factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, global. Think C2C2C. Think holistic. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will raise our aptitude to morph without lessening our capability to e-enable. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with emerging supply-chains? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to synergize. men-in-white practically invented the term "aggregation". Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be cutting-edge? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We will transform the capacity of platforms to brand. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for coping with unplanned-for methodologies? We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible, client-focused feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think intra-real-world, back-end. Without e-services, you will lack intra-e-business M&A. men-in-white has permanently altered the theory of sexy value-added, back-end, one-to-one user interfaces. We believe we know that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also synthesize holistically. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. The metrics for B2C2B, B2C versioning are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be collaborative? Without sufficient partnerships, users are forced to become leading-edge. Without appropriate subscriber communities, web services are forced to become reality-based. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C e-services and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will mesh the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media, 24/7/365".