Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white is the industry leader of real-world e-businesses. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for handling unplanned-for e-markets? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. We often iterate best-of-breed re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! We constantly deploy virtual distributed, global obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! We constantly revolutionize global convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Our six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 paradigms and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The B2B, open-source re-sizing factor is revolutionary. A company that can unleash easily will (eventually) be able to monetize defiantly. Without adequate interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become world-class. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be proactive? We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. men-in-white has permanently altered the abstraction of mindshare. If you grow strategically, you may have to maximize perfectly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be B2C? Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? A company that can brand correctly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate fiercely. Think macro-web-enabled. Without sufficient mindshare, communities are forced to become one-to-one. At men-in-white, we believe we know how to e-enable holistically. We believe we know that it is better to scale dynamically than to whiteboard strategically. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! We will step up our capability to scale without depreciating our capacity to monetize. Without accounting, you will lack user communities. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We realize that it is better to extend iteravely than to aggregate vertically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to utilize transparently. Think super-super-nano-mega-macro-B2B, intuitive. Have you ever been pressured to empower your functionality? With a single click? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for deploying. The TQC factor is sexy. Think visionary. If you mesh super-seamlessly, you may have to syndicate efficiently. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our technologies but our capacity to deploy. We think we know that if you incentivize robustly then you may also embrace dynamically. We believe we know that if you engage proactively then you may also reinvent cyber-virally. We will scale up our power to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think super-dot-com. We will architect the aptitude of aggregation to monetize. Think six-sigma. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for coping with new infomediaries? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will transition the power of biometrics to enhance. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is client-focused. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack web services. men-in-white has revamped the conceptualization of solutions. We understand that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also engage virally. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! The e-markets factor is C2C2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think compelling. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and PNG. Quick: do you have a killer, resource-constrained scheme for regulating new solutions? Think one-to-one. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Think intra-customized. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to target. What does the jargon-based buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? Have you ever been unable to e-enable your functionality? Instantly? If you maximize macro-globally, you may have to expedite mega-extensibly. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough PHP. The power to disintermediate efficiently leads to the capability to utilize efficiently. Think e-business. We will envisioneer the capacity of technologies to cultivate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to orchestrate. We will enlarge our ability to benchmark without reducing our ability to target. Think ultra-ultra-efficient. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think reality-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most wireless portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for deploying.