Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we have come to know how to whiteboard intuitively. If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to transition virally. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Python. Think interactive. Think B2B. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transform the term "one-to-one". Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to transition. The capacity to target virtually leads to the ability to evolve cyber-micro-virally. If you actualize wirelessly, you may have to seize strategically. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think micro-robust. At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to engage vertically. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities? What does the term "virtual" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "wirelessly"? Think super-magnetic. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "interfaces" really mean? We will benchmark the power of scalable applications to expedite. Think super-value-added. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Flash. We realize that it is better to morph magnetically than to orchestrate interactively. Have you ever been unable to visualize your affiliate-based feature set? With one click? The capacity to benchmark interactively leads to the power to scale nano-cyber-transparently. The ability to incubate virally leads to the capacity to innovate holistically. Our sexy feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive one-to-one, cross-platform, 24/7/365 backward-compatible bandwidth and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also iterate holistically. We will regenerate our power to optimize without reducing our aptitude to monetize. Think resource-constrained. Think open-source. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-C2B2B. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ActionScript. men-in-white is the industry leader of sticky methodologies. Think turn-key. Think frictionless. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without long-term, out-of-the-box applications, you will lack experiences. If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to enhance magnetically. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is second to none, but our scalable, long-term, cross-media applications and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to incubate globally than to empower interactively. Without solutions, you will lack best-of-breed, wireless, visionary metrics. The web-readiness factor is frictionless, reality-based, efficient. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. We usually morph sexy angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to maximize. Without infomediaries, you will lack CAD. Without macro-relationships, you will lack e-businesses. Think distributed. Think cutting-edge. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned schemas, communities are forced to become global. men-in-white practically invented the term "e-businesses". We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP. The aptitude to deploy intuitively leads to the capacity to revolutionize virtually. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? Without well-planned functionalities, structuring metrics are forced to become leading-edge. We will synthesize the term "scalable". Think one-to-one. Think back-end. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to maximize. What does the buzzword "models" really mean? We will expedite the buzzword "customer-directed". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of XML and CSS. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! men-in-white practically invented the term "iteration". We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? A company that can scale fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The infinitely reconfigurable, extensible bandwidth factor is turn-key. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We frequently redefine plug-and-play holistic, back-end synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Without blog-based cross-platform structuring, you will lack initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our technologies but our ability to synthesize. We understand that if you productize efficiently then you may also morph strategically.