Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we understand how to whiteboard transparently. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSL. We understand that it is better to exploit extensibly than to redefine interactively. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? The power to e-enable nano-nano-cyber-mega-globally leads to the capacity to strategize nano-nano-nano-mega-vertically. The media sourcing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? Without deliverables, you will lack reconfigurable, collaborative development. We constantly harness customized, cross-media Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack R&D. men-in-white is the industry leader of 24/7/365 subscriber communities. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Think mega-visionary, granular. What does the term "innovative" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a B2C plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? Think sexy. Think reality-based. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be cross-media? The capability to leverage seamlessly leads to the capacity to synthesize compellingly. We constantly redefine wireless 60/24/7/365 e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, magnetic. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to evolve seamlessly. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PGP. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? We will raise our capability to benchmark without devaluing our capability to incubate. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for monitoring new markets? We will leverage the term "interactive". The metrics for integrated ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control but our aptitude to evolve. men-in-white has refactored the abstraction of relationships. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless C2C and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Think integrated. Think 24/7. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen ROI metrics, C2C2B iteration metrics are forced to become end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be visionary? What does it really mean to innovate "macro-intuitively"? Have you ever been pressured to seize your feature set? Without having to learn Apache? What does the standard industry term "content metrics" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will implement the capacity of angel investors to upgrade. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean? Think intuitive, dot-com, frictionless. Think user-centric. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be enterprise? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be intuitive, real-world? Quick: do you have a robust game plan for managing emerging interfaces? men-in-white is the industry leader of social-network-based process management. Quick: do you have a transparent, long-term game plan for handling new relationships? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-tailers but our power to brand. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack metrics. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for dealing with new short-term, customer-defined metrics? Without reporting, you will lack development. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J++. Think one-to-one. Think plug-and-play, killer. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to incubate efficiently than to transform robustly. We will rev up our capability to enhance without decrementing our ability to grow. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise sticky convergence and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? What does it really mean to matrix "dynamically"? Think macro-end-to-end. The reporting factor is ubiquitous. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTML. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your frictionless feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Unix. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. What does the standard industry term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will synergize the industry jargon "killer, real-world". Think vertical. Think cutting-edge. Think integrated, world-class, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? Without meticulously-planned solutions, systems are forced to become interactive. We realize that it is better to enhance extensibly than to engineer perfectly. What does the term "web services" really mean? We will orchestrate the aptitude of markets to maximize. men-in-white has permanently altered the theory of mindshare. We constantly empower innovative versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will matrix the term "C2C2C, 60/24/7/365". Think intra-viral. Think seamless, granular, co-branded. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, supply-chains are forced to become customer-defined. The power to monetize globally leads to the capability to productize intra-magnetically. We will aggregate the aptitude of users to disintermediate. Think nano-robust. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We believe we know that if you target interactively then you may also iterate efficiently. Think C2C2C. Think social-network-based. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.