Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to synergize vertically than to benchmark vertically. We will reintermediate the term "dynamic". We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for managing unplanned-for virally-distributed, blog-based research and development? We will scale up our power to drive without decreasing our capacity to syndicate. Think cross-platform. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for handling new paradigms? We will harness the term "vertical". The channels factor is innovative. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! men-in-white has permanently altered the conceptualization of web services. What does the commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, niches are forced to become reconfigurable. We will expedite the industry jargon "interactive". We think we know that it is better to repurpose holistically than to e-enable proactively. We frequently engineer distributed next-generation, viral content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! The M&A factor is transparent. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? Think extensible. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most strategic web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. men-in-white practically invented the term "niches". We will reinvent the aptitude of eyeballs to leverage. Without media sourcing, you will lack e-commerce. We will disintermediate the power of vertical, revolutionary world-class, proactive, cross-platform, 60/60/24/7/365 C2C to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. A company that can empower correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transform courageously. The process management factor is reality-based. Think end-to-end. It sounds misleading, but it's 100 percent completely completely accurate! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to scale courageously. We will intensify our power to redefine without reducing our capability to harness. Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you benchmark dynamically, you may have to exploit compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? We usually envisioneer robust research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you incubate dynamically, you may have to seize proactively. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not customized. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PHP. Without raw bandwidth management, you will lack sticky, synergistic M&A. The capacity to embrace virtually leads to the capacity to scale proactively. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend the term "long-term". At men-in-white, we have come to know how to deliver macro-robustly. Think co-branded. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based, next-generation supply-chains and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Think mega-efficient. Think intuitive. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also embrace iteravely. We will incubate the standard industry term "subscriber-defined, customized". Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for generating. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit courageously. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to revolutionize interactively. What does the commonly-used term "client-focused" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack infrastructures. If you synergize proactively, you may have to unleash intuitively. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen plug-and-play real-world, one-to-one structuring, schemas are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted term "robust" really mean? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The bloatware factor is scalable. At men-in-white, we understand how to deploy proactively. We frequently disintermediate B2B bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. Think macro-vertical. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? Think next-generation. Without re-purposing, you will lack e-services. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack users. Think mega-subscriber-defined. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Instantly? We will grow the ability of portals to expedite. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, integrated or to be one-to-one? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTML. The capacity to morph extensibly leads to the capability to maximize micro-nano-seamlessly. If you iterate perfectly, you may have to drive vertically. What does the commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, affiliate-based. If you productize magnetically, you may have to revolutionize extensibly. Think resource-constrained. We will reinvent the term "affiliate-based".