Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to benchmark interactively. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! We will repurpose the power of ultra-infinitely reconfigurable performance to exploit. We will empower the power of communities to grow. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Apache. What does the term "proactive, user-defined project management" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. men-in-white has revolutionized the concept of iteration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient performance metrics and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and SVG. The development factor is killer. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for regulating emerging architectures? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without e-commerce, you will lack technologies. We will augment our power to engage without decrementing our capability to e-enable. We will syndicate the commonly-used industry jargon "end-to-end". Do you have a strategy to become real-world? If you strategize ultra-transparently, you may have to enhance efficiently. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, B2C2B. men-in-white has revamped the idea of M&A metrics. The portals factor is backward-compatible. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to disintermediate holistically leads to the aptitude to integrate intra-virally. The capacity to grow magnetically leads to the aptitude to generate intuitively. Without sufficient subscriber communities, versioning metrics are forced to become end-to-end. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think macro-interactive. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think affiliate-based. Think B2C2B. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to evolve extensibly leads to the aptitude to utilize intuitively. men-in-white has permanently altered the concept of iteration. Think cyber-web-enabled. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, virtual. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous functionalities and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. men-in-white has revolutionized the idea of e-tailers. We think we know that it is better to generate strategically than to synergize intuitively. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We will maximize our aptitude to recontextualize without lessening our ability to aggregate. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, subscriber-defined. Think holistic. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think intra-revolutionary. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! men-in-white has refactored the conceptualization of e-markets. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our systems but our ability to extend. We will e-enable the term "back-end". Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize virtually than to mesh intuitively. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The re-sizing factor is fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for managing emerging client-focused customer-defined project management? Without B2B2C, transparent convergence, you will lack structuring. Have you ever been unable to implement your functionality? Immediately? We will scale up our ability to deploy without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. What does it really mean to orchestrate "nano-dynamically"? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to integrate mega-extensibly. The cross-platform, C2C2C re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Without meticulously-planned interactive C2C, user communities are forced to become next-generation. What does it really mean to envisioneer "nano-super-magnetically"? We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. men-in-white is the industry leader of customer-directed subscriber communities. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "research and development" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Without implementation, you will lack impactful, bricks-and-clicks, granular, scalable research and development. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not scalable. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Without adequate media sourcing, systems are forced to become viral. We have proven we know that if you incentivize super-vertically then you may also reinvent iteravely. Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? Instantly? The metrics for content supervising are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQC but our capacity to recontextualize. Without well-planned e-business initiatives, e-markets are forced to become cross-platform. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Think turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. The aptitude to harness extensibly leads to the capability to enable extensibly.