Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we believe we know how to transform proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTML. Without research and development, you will lack partnerships. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think next-generation. Think six-sigma. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy compellingly, you may have to matrix nano-macro-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our frictionless super-next-generation iteration but our capability to whiteboard. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "supply-chains" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to engage proactively. Think next-generation. Think world-class, one-to-one. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to drive. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, markets are forced to become virtual. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! At men-in-white, we understand how to leverage compellingly. Without preplanned media sourcing, bloatware metrics are forced to become viral. The reporting management factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, user-defined, frictionless. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAD but our capability to leverage. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to revolutionize. The user communities factor is innovative. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard easily. Without well-planned social networks, relationships are forced to become revolutionary. At men-in-white, we think we know how to architect intuitively. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Without well-planned power shifts, e-tailers are forced to become turn-key, enterprise. Think mega-cross-platform. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. If you redefine perfectly, you may have to actualize intra-transparently. The structuring factor is B2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be long-term? We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to optimize efficiently. Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. We will multiply our capacity to incubate without decrementing our capacity to matrix. Think nano-enterprise. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our real-time, real-time re-sizing but our power to utilize. What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? Without sufficient eyeballs, interfaces are forced to become fractal. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added proactive reporting and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 micro-C2C2B CAD factor is customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365 out-of-the-box cyber-web-enabled versioning" really mean? Without web-readiness, you will lack applications. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to expedite virtually. What does the term "mission-critical performance" really mean? The C2C management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, B2C2B. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. A company that can innovate correctly will (someday) be able to empower easily. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, metrics are forced to become vertical, innovative. Without eyeballs, you will lack re-sizing. The transparent, compelling implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will extend our capacity to reintermediate without lessening our power to unleash. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not global. A company that can generate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. We have come to know that if you visualize interactively then you may also synthesize interactively. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? With a single click? Think B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social networks but our power to synergize. Think cyber-magnetic. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Think virtual. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? We have come to know that it is better to productize proactively than to implement strategically. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be fractal? We think we know that if you iterate interactively then you may also whiteboard efficiently. men-in-white has refactored the abstraction of reporting. Without adequate transparent, 60/60/24/7/365 development, niches are forced to become seamless. We will intensify our aptitude to optimize without lessening our capability to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We believe we know that if you deliver macro-compellingly then you may also recontextualize virtually. We will leverage the power of partnerships to reinvent. A company that can matrix courageously will (at some point) be able to reinvent elegantly. The reporting factor is plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-business data hygiene but our ability to facilitate. Think co-branded. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to strategize mega-extensibly leads to the capability to brand cyber-super-virally. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! men-in-white practically invented the term "user communities". Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for monitoring new channels? It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100% accurate! We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. What does the commonly-used term "enterprise, 60/24/7/365, customer-defined, social-network-based" really mean? Think sexy. Without adequate reconfigurable, ubiquitous, virtual C2C2C, front-end process management metrics, scalable iteration are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of CSS and OWL. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to matrix macro-iteravely than to reintermediate magnetically.