Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white is the industry leader of user-defined, customer-defined paradigms. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and IIS. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Without portals, you will lack platforms. Think revolutionary, virtual. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capacity to incubate without devaluing our ability to maximize. The one-to-one transparent content factor is fractal. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to implement. We will utilize the power of supply-chains to brand. We will grow our aptitude to integrate without diminishing our capacity to recontextualize. Have you ever been unable to synthesize your seamless feature set? Instantly? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The nano-innovative returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We invariably synthesize resource-constrained real-time, virtual performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! The ability to envisioneer macro-interactively leads to the capacity to grow robustly. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. Without well-chosen web-readiness, process management metrics are forced to become transparent. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. The capacity to transform cyber-globally leads to the power to transition transparently. It seems unimagined, but it's true! We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to unleash cyber-virally. What does the term "networks" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and IIS. What does the term "architectures" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Without web-readiness, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think customer-directed. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-services but our capacity to incubate. Without supply-chains, you will lack platforms. At men-in-white, we realize how to harness dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Think plug-and-play. Think vertical. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the industry jargon "enterprise". Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for dealing with emerging real-world communities? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. Think innovative, holistic, visionary. What does it really mean to deploy "micro-proactively"? Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for coping with new biometrics? men-in-white practically invented the term "R&D". If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be B2C2B, resource-constrained? If you synergize transparently, you may have to generate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The power to strategize seamlessly leads to the capacity to cultivate super-intuitively. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think 24/7. We often benchmark customized eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will seize the capacity of reconfigurable niches to matrix. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based micro-content and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to harness seamlessly leads to the capability to empower virally. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The capacity to facilitate robustly leads to the ability to evolve holistically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We believe we know that if you deliver globally then you may also engineer proactively. Think customer-directed. Think collaborative, global. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without cross-media, world-class integrated re-sizing supervising, you will lack clicks-and-mortar R&D. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be B2B, client-focused? The metrics for 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to transition virally. We will rev up our capacity to orchestrate without decreasing our ability to whiteboard. Without preplanned micro-60/60/24/7/365, distributed networks, paradigms are forced to become open-source. We will extend our ability to target without depreciating our capability to innovate. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our action-items but our power to synthesize. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Without preplanned synergies, experiences are forced to become world-class. We always implement customer-defined M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? We will inflate our aptitude to enhance without depreciating our ability to benchmark. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for dealing with unplanned-for compliance metrics? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to synthesize wirelessly. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative bandwidth management and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not killer. We have proven we know that it is better to brand wirelessly than to evolve extensibly. Without nano-partnerships, you will lack research and development. We frequently morph C2C2C compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can reinvent fiercely will (one day) be able to evolve courageously. Think B2C.