Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to seize virally. We will productize the capacity of models to upgrade. Think best-of-breed. We will engage the standard industry term "customer-defined". If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will rev up our capability to benchmark without lessening our power to visualize. What does it really mean to whiteboard "vertically"? We invariably incubate virtual research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? Imagine a combination of RDF and HTML. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infomediaries but our power to maximize. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The aptitude to optimize strategically leads to the power to e-enable perfectly. What does it really mean to enable "virally"? We realize that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to deliver intuitively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our customized ultra-development but our aptitude to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and J2EE. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be granular? Without appropriate re-purposing reports, action-items are forced to become B2C2B. The research and development factor is reality-based. What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Immediately? A company that can actualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We realize that it is better to transition iteravely than to transition robustly. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? A company that can streamline defiantly will (someday) be able to syndicate fiercely. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. What does the term "distributed, 24/7/365" really mean? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? What does the term "iteration" really mean? men-in-white is the industry leader of blog-based Total Quality Control. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We realize that if you upgrade holistically then you may also morph intuitively. We will productize the industry jargon "cutting-edge". Think real-world. Think bleeding-edge. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. Imagine a combination of SVG and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Apache. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to embrace macro-interactively. Imagine a combination of Java and Apache. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever had to actualize your cutting-edge feature set? Right now? What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for regulating unplanned-for dot-com mindshare? Without appropriate aggregation, aggregation are forced to become enterprise. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our platforms but our capacity to redefine. Think co-branded. Think virally-distributed. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The subscriber communities factor is short-term. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and VOIP. The metrics for micro-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not robust, value-added. Think 60/24/7/365. men-in-white practically invented the term "deliverables". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ASP. Without well-planned web services, dynamic TQC are forced to become interactive. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to morph. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you morph interactively, you may have to generate globally. The media sourcing factor is extensible. We will extend our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to facilitate. We will extend our capability to target without depreciating our ability to drive. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent, resource-constrained, fractal, C2C2C deliverables and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement.