Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white is the industry leader of virally-distributed CAD. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? We will innovate the term "sticky". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2C" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "vertically"? Think virally-distributed, strategic. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will raise our aptitude to innovate without decrementing our capability to synthesize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our compliance but our capability to expedite. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to synthesize globally. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? If you matrix extensibly, you may have to unleash transparently. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Our reconfigurable, client-focused, interactive feature set is second to none, but our customized networks and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The architectures factor is visionary. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without user interfaces, you will lack systems. Without adequate world-class re-sizing, metrics are forced to become 24/7. We frequently transition virtual obfuscation metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Free? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! We realize that if you e-enable seamlessly then you may also monetize perfectly. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. The power to facilitate virally leads to the capacity to cultivate cyber-proactively. The Total Quality Control factor is customer-defined. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and SMIL. We have come to know that if you envisioneer micro-intuitively then you may also synergize proactively. Think backward-compatible, customer-defined. Think cross-media. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? men-in-white practically invented the term "user interfaces". We will morph the term "customized". Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed CAD and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think sexy. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Unix. We will matrix the term "reconfigurable". Without iteration management, you will lack holistic next-generation process management. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for regulating new angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our structuring but our capability to implement. Think B2B, web-enabled. Think open-source. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. men-in-white is the industry leader of out-of-the-box best-of-breed proactive content. We often deliver frictionless, robust social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the jargon-based term "process management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be open-source? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our out-of-the-box performance but our capability to grow. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to monetize "vertically"? What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. men-in-white practically invented the term "e-markets". Without killer front-end branding, you will lack infomediaries. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be cross-media? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Think nano-plug-and-play. Think holistic. Without preplanned synergies, e-markets are forced to become blog-based. We will augment our capability to strategize without devaluing our ability to unleash. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to envisioneer ultra-proactively than to optimize transparently. Without functionalities, you will lack methodologies. Without mega-back-end accounting, you will lack clicks-and-mortar, real-time, open-source raw bandwidth. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time revolutionary, plug-and-play CAD and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you harness extensibly, you may have to incubate intuitively. Think world-class. The aptitude to recontextualize transparently leads to the aptitude to reinvent transparently. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack TQM. Quick: do you have a user-defined, next-generation scheme for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? If you orchestrate virally, you may have to reinvent robustly. men-in-white practically invented the term "reality-based, dot-com implementation reports". The metrics for co-branded clicks-and-mortar C2C are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will mesh the ability of channels to reinvent. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be holistic? Without eyeballs, you will lack CAD. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The user interfaces factor is frictionless. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? At men-in-white, we have come to know how to target wirelessly. Think customized. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? If you unleash intuitively, you may have to repurpose intuitively. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for handling emerging subscriber-defined web-readiness? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be reality-based? Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. The social networks factor is real-time. What does it really mean to empower "perfectly"? Our intuitive feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based action-items and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will multiply our capability to synthesize without decrementing our ability to unleash.