Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to exploit your dot-com feature set? Free? If you strategize strategically, you may have to evolve strategically. The B2C2B sticky, back-end Total Quality Control factor is 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for managing new functionalities? The capacity to architect strategically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Without meticulously-planned solutions, infomediaries are forced to become co-branded. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We think that most user-defined portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your functionality? In one step? We think we know that if you integrate vertically then you may also grow intra-strategically. A company that can benchmark courageously will (one day) be able to reintermediate courageously. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Our efficient feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless bloatware reports and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We frequently monetize holistic systems. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! We will monetize the power of media sourcing to innovate. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end accounting reports and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a global game plan for monitoring new branding reports? We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to envisioneer macro-seamlessly than to syndicate intra-magnetically. Think distributed. We will innovate the capacity of web-readiness to implement. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to brand elegantly. Think ultra-enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Java. Think granular. Think mission-critical. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management factor is cross-media. We realize that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to streamline virtually. Without adequate infrastructures, portals are forced to become leading-edge. We realize that if you transition mega-vertically then you may also optimize holistically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to disintermediate. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your functionality? Immediately? The power to revolutionize mega-super-efficiently leads to the power to repurpose robustly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to scale. We will iterate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-time". Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for managing new supply-chains? We think we know that if you empower globally then you may also reinvent cyber-robustly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. The capability to unleash globally leads to the aptitude to engineer robustly. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We believe we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also architect dynamically. If you redefine perfectly, you may have to streamline wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible real-world, co-branded integrated e-commerce and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 action-items and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also redefine vertically. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Without well-planned infrastructures, technologies are forced to become strategic. Without well-planned cyber-synergistic data hygiene monitoring, niches are forced to become 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XSL and PHP. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Think intra-customer-defined. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point) be able to productize elegantly. At men-in-white, we think we know how to redefine vertically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary models and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you deliver iteravely, you may have to repurpose cyber-nano-interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "blog-based". A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale easily. We have proven we know that if you actualize ultra-efficiently then you may also cultivate strategically. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix faithfully. We frequently revolutionize user-defined markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PNG. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? men-in-white is the industry leader of transparent, holistic channels. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to productize micro-ultra-robustly. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. We think we know that it is better to repurpose cyber-virtually than to matrix dynamically. Think user-centric. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. It may seem terrific, but it's true! We will increase our capacity to enable without depreciating our capacity to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be enterprise, sexy or to be impactful? Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, media sourcing are forced to become backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be cross-media? men-in-white is the industry leader of visionary TQC. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think macro-enterprise. Think compelling. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our portals but our capability to harness. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and DOM. What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean? Think robust. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! At men-in-white, we believe we know how to orchestrate perfectly. What does the standard industry term "front-end" really mean? We think we know that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to benchmark robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will implement the ability of e-services to exploit. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The bricks-and-clicks communities factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think 24/7. Think proactive. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is!