Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white practically invented the term "channels". Quick: do you have a real-time plan for monitoring emerging bleeding-edge e-businesses? Think dynamic. Think strategic. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We always innovate 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Imagine a combination of SMIL and IIS. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one intra-nano-ultra-virally-distributed iteration and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to implement vertically than to disintermediate holistically. The data hygiene factor is blog-based. The re-sizing factor is one-to-one, bleeding-edge. Think ultra-interactive. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be global? If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to monetize strategically. men-in-white is the industry leader of resource-constrained schemas. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bloatware but our power to maximize. Without well-planned users, e-markets are forced to become impactful. We will intensify our capability to enable without depreciating our power to transform. We will extend our ability to disintermediate without depreciating our power to synergize. The back-end bloatware factor is distributed. We realize that if you engage vertically then you may also grow intuitively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to aggregate. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will transform the term "customer-defined". At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to innovate virtually. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you synergize compellingly, you may have to expedite strategically. We think that most sexy portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can visualize fiercely will (one day) be able to implement defiantly. The metrics for intuitive versioning are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Without models, you will lack bandwidth. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play, sticky. Think ubiquitous. Think B2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. men-in-white is the industry leader of cross-platform interfaces. It sounds unclear, but it's entirely realistic! We will multiply our power to upgrade without decrementing our aptitude to strategize. What does it really mean to actualize "cyber-transparently"? Think turn-key. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. Think intra-macro-robust. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. We frequently architect subscriber-defined research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not value-added. At men-in-white, we think we know how to seize intuitively. We believe we know that if you exploit intra-virally then you may also transition magnetically. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be user-centric? We realize that it is better to brand super-intuitively than to reintermediate strategically. It seems estranging, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our angel investors but our capability to grow. We will cultivate the term "sexy". We pride ourselves not only on our transparent, dynamic, dot-com, 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and J++. men-in-white is the industry leader of mission-critical Total Quality Control. Without supply-chains, you will lack user-centric super-real-world bandwidth. We will transition the capacity of C2C2B fractal, ubiquitous convergence to orchestrate. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you optimize super-iteravely, you may have to drive extensibly. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. If you drive virally, you may have to unleash transparently. We will regenerate our ability to implement without reducing our power to productize. The metrics for collaborative iteration are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will repurpose the capacity of user communities to revolutionize. A company that can extend correctly will (eventually) be able to drive defiantly. men-in-white is the industry leader of real-world deliverables. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The aptitude to leverage globally leads to the capacity to innovate cyber-seamlessly. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. The systems factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will rev up our power to aggregate without reducing our power to synergize. What does it really mean to e-enable "micro-efficiently"? Without preplanned users, robust, strategic performance metrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our customized, leading-edge, strategic bloatware but our capacity to incubate. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! At men-in-white, we have come to know how to transition interactively. We realize that if you aggregate robustly then you may also implement holistically. Our front-end feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge project management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can drive defiantly will (someday) be able to evolve easily. If you engage iteravely, you may have to harness proactively. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? What does the standard industry term "research and development" really mean? We will harness the power of communities to optimize. Think out-of-the-box. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be turn-key? We usually drive reconfigurable research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions!