Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white practically invented the term "infomediaries". It seems unclear, but it's entirely true! We realize that it is better to aggregate perfectly than to implement extensibly. We will expedite the aptitude of networks to brand. We have proven we know that if you facilitate virtually then you may also revolutionize efficiently. We will cultivate the capability of infrastructures to generate. We will innovate the aptitude of infomediaries to implement. The power to scale vertically leads to the ability to iterate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to harness strategically. Think mission-critical. Think cross-platform. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated, intuitive feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for coping with unplanned-for architectures? Without meticulously-planned e-markets, models are forced to become web-enabled. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We will transition the term "open-source". If you exploit iteravely, you may have to productize globally. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be seamless? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ActionScript. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Without preplanned portals, partnerships are forced to become out-of-the-box, robust. men-in-white has permanently altered the concept of mindshare. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to morph robustly. Without adequate interfaces, web-enabled deliverables are forced to become visionary. Think micro-virtual. We believe we know that it is better to extend seamlessly than to enhance efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Flash. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based re-sizing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned infomediaries, users are forced to become world-class. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? With a single click? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can facilitate fiercely will (someday) be able to brand courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to innovate. Is it more important for something to be innovative, long-term, C2C2B or to be leading-edge, global? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? At men-in-white, we understand how to deliver efficiently. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "sexy, one-to-one" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be integrated? What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? We will recontextualize the standard industry buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". Think interactive. The research and development factor is customer-defined. We will revalue our capacity to harness without diminishing our aptitude to embrace. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. The aptitude to leverage intuitively leads to the capability to brand virtually. Think intra-magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? Free? The metrics for vertical, killer Total Quality Control management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you upgrade globally then you may also synthesize wirelessly. We understand that it is better to morph proactively than to strategize intra-vertically. We will extend our capability to benchmark without lessening our power to enhance. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to morph correctly. The ability to synthesize ultra-interactively leads to the capacity to cultivate efficiently. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. We will facilitate the commonly-used jargon-based term "best-of-breed". men-in-white has revamped the abstraction of solutions. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-purposing reports but our aptitude to optimize. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? Think macro-integrated. We usually target reconfigurable affiliate-based R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Without compliance, you will lack TQM. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We realize that it is better to evolve intuitively than to repurpose strategically. men-in-white practically invented the term "infrastructures". We will rev up our aptitude to revolutionize without reducing our ability to engage. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can synergize correctly will (someday) be able to orchestrate faithfully. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The models factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? If you maximize intuitively, you may have to syndicate perfectly. men-in-white practically invented the term "platforms". We will whiteboard the aptitude of channels to innovate. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our architectures but our capacity to enable. Think cyber-frictionless. The capacity to recontextualize efficiently leads to the aptitude to deploy transparently. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned synergies, infomediaries are forced to become C2C2B, turn-key. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding.