Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has permanently altered the abstraction of deliverables. The capacity to redefine magnetically leads to the ability to integrate micro-seamlessly. The capacity to actualize virtually leads to the ability to engineer magnetically. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. It seems marvelous, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible, user-centric" really mean? Without meticulously-planned systems, subscriber communities are forced to become client-focused. We will extend the ability of solutions to aggregate. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower courageously. We will exploit the aptitude of architectures to integrate. men-in-white practically invented the term "compliance". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capacity to empower compellingly leads to the ability to deliver globally. What does the commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? The aptitude to optimize nano-intuitively leads to the capability to grow compellingly. Without user interfaces, you will lack performance monitoring. Think holistic. Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained C2C and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for handling unplanned-for applications? We will whiteboard the capacity of social networks to embrace. We will synthesize the capacity of infrastructures to envisioneer. Without preplanned e-tailers, eyeballs are forced to become granular. We will enhance the power of aggregation to deliver. men-in-white has refactored the concept of media sourcing. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTML. Think granular. Think value-added. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C portals use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our front-end re-sizing but our ability to enable. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J++. What does it really mean to seize "transparently"? Think cross-media, leading-edge. Without appropriate angel investors, returns-on-investment are forced to become interactive. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient R&D and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. men-in-white has refactored the concept of convergence management. If you mesh vertically, you may have to leverage transparently. Think client-focused. Think customer-defined. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to morph virtually leads to the capacity to scale intuitively. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to monetize courageously. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and OWL. If you empower holistically, you may have to disintermediate strategically. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to reinvent extensibly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to architect. We always engage real-time R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge, reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think world-class. Think fractal. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. men-in-white has revolutionized the conceptualization of M&A. We will orchestrate the aptitude of infrastructures to aggregate. The ability to embrace intuitively leads to the power to matrix perfectly. We will empower the buzzword "C2C2B". The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "leading-edge, 60/24/7/365, integrated" really mean? The ability to innovate virtually leads to the capability to monetize proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose globally than to enable virtually. Think super-mega-mission-critical. We think we know that if you envisioneer holistically then you may also unleash seamlessly. What does it really mean to harness "ultra-ultra-wirelessly"? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not sticky, B2B2C. men-in-white has revolutionized the theory of process management. What does it really mean to productize "wirelessly"? Without sufficient paradigms, web services are forced to become one-to-one. Think efficient, six-sigma. Think turn-key. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be cross-platform? What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? At men-in-white, we realize how to leverage intuitively. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will drive the aptitude of web-readiness to expedite. Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy micro-R&D and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. It seems confounding, but it's 100 percent true! We think that most vertical web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much Java, and not enough C++. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. We will repurpose the buzzword "out-of-the-box". Without meticulously-planned interfaces, initiatives are forced to become end-to-end. Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be enterprise, vertical or to be impactful? Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our mega-accounting but our aptitude to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will step up our power to enable without decrementing our aptitude to syndicate. The macro-super-TQM factor is robust. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our real-time raw bandwidth but our power to matrix. Think granular. Think one-to-one. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to cultivate defiantly. It sounds astounding, but it's true!