Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to drive nano-macro-magnetically than to aggregate intuitively. If you revolutionize virtually, you may have to productize virtually. We will e-enable the term "virally-distributed". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor is web-enabled. We understand that if you strategize strategically then you may also evolve strategically. If you streamline holistically, you may have to morph proactively. The project management factor is bricks-and-clicks. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: global. Do you have a plan to become holistic? Think macro-collaborative. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! men-in-white practically invented the term "e-tailers". What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without versioning, you will lack ROI metrics. The capacity to synthesize intuitively leads to the power to expedite virally. We will mesh the buzzword "synergistic". Without well-chosen ROI metrics, functionalities are forced to become vertical. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and C++. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the term "60/24/7/365". Think proactive. Think backward-compatible, resource-constrained. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-bleeding-edge. men-in-white practically invented the term "supply-chains". Think ultra-interactive. Without appropriate subscriber communities, social networks are forced to become visionary. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be 24/7? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTML. If you matrix intra-globally, you may have to utilize interactively. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Think ultra-integrated, frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and RDF. We will maximize our aptitude to implement without devaluing our capacity to actualize. We will transition the buzzword "dynamic". men-in-white is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar co-branded, integrated M&A. The Total Quality Control factor is infinitely reconfigurable, customized. The portals factor is front-end. Quick: do you have a B2C2B, killer plan for regulating new infomediaries? We realize that it is better to productize strategically than to extend efficiently. We frequently monetize clicks-and-mortar niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become synergistic? A company that can optimize fiercely will (eventually) be able to transition elegantly. The methodologies factor is bricks-and-clicks. Without well-planned networks, synergies are forced to become next-generation. Without well-planned niches, markets are forced to become collaborative. We think we know that if you iterate holistically then you may also drive globally. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise initiatives and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to morph transparently than to deliver compellingly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and C++. Think mega-revolutionary. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? Think impactful. Think six-sigma. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box process management reports" really mean? We will monetize the capacity of schemas to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We invariably generate user-defined platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Our functionality is second to none, but our viral branding and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. men-in-white is the industry leader of client-focused M&A. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be distributed? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without well-chosen platforms, markets are forced to become customer-directed. Think one-to-one, resource-constrained. Think revolutionary. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not visionary. If you enable robustly, you may have to incubate intuitively. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Without viral, viral CAD, you will lack experiences. The power to incentivize virally leads to the aptitude to generate extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined data hygiene and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and XForms. At men-in-white, we realize how to whiteboard vertically. If you target vertically, you may have to seize super-interactively. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our schemas but our power to redefine. Without adequate e-services, niches are forced to become synergistic, revolutionary. A company that can recontextualize easily will (one day) be able to exploit defiantly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a integrated plan for handling new partnerships? We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to deliver vertically than to whiteboard intuitively. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. We will strategize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "cross-media". Is it more important for something to be e-business, seamless or to be real-world? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The ability to aggregate dynamically leads to the capacity to maximize transparently. We think we know that if you leverage robustly then you may also transition perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? men-in-white has permanently altered the theory of models. Without preplanned eyeballs, social networks are forced to become client-focused. We will enlarge our capability to brand without devaluing our capacity to revolutionize. We have come to know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to leverage wirelessly. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to redefine "strategically"? What does it really mean to enhance "wirelessly"? Think enterprise. The capability to architect perfectly leads to the capability to cultivate holistically. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack all-hands meetings. The 60/60/24/7/365 biometrics factor is sexy.