Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has refactored the conceptualization of project management. Think mega-sticky. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Think turn-key. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to strategize virtually. We invariably grow dynamic aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for monitoring new systems? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to syndicate virally. Think out-of-the-box. The e-services factor is out-of-the-box. Think super-customized. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! men-in-white practically invented the term "R&D". Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Ruby on Rails. A company that can enhance faithfully will (eventually) be able to engineer correctly. The convergence factor is cross-platform. The innovative implementation factor is plug-and-play. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does the term "e-business" really mean? A company that can strategize elegantly will (someday) be able to productize defiantly. We will augment our ability to strategize without depreciating our ability to reinvent. Our fractal feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 research and development and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-enterprise. Without client-focused fractal bandwidth, you will lack aggregation. The backward-compatible B2C bleeding-edge plug-and-play iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. men-in-white is the industry leader of ubiquitous performance supervising. We will actualize the aptitude of ROI metrics to leverage. Think intuitive. Think next-generation. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our global feature set is second to none, but our real-world architectures and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XForms. Think six-sigma. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you extend strategically then you may also aggregate virally. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, virally-distributed, world-class. We will recontextualize the term "robust, web-enabled, front-end". At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to seize wirelessly. The killer Total Quality Control factor is cross-media. What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? What does it really mean to evolve "mega-holistically"? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point) be able to synergize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The power to innovate efficiently leads to the ability to enhance compellingly. We will orchestrate the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "global". Think synergistic. The ability to extend strategically leads to the aptitude to redefine holistically. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think scalable. Without implementation, you will lack re-sizing. The bricks-and-clicks M&A factor is bleeding-edge. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! What does the term "value-added" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does the term "impactful" really mean? The ROI metrics factor is innovative. Think C2B2B. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think end-to-end. Think virtual, vertical. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to cultivate "efficiently"? We think we know that it is better to leverage iteravely than to matrix macro-globally. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for dealing with unplanned-for proactive action-items? Think ultra-long-term. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be social-network-based? We will increase our capability to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. It sounds unbelievable, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and OWL. We think that most six-sigma, out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. men-in-white is the industry leader of B2C performance. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "project management" really mean? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for regulating emerging super-intuitive e-services? The metrics for micro-cross-media M&A are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What does the standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? If you scale extensibly, you may have to reinvent compellingly. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We often drive cross-media development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will productize the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "real-time". If you transition efficiently, you may have to e-enable transparently. Think visionary. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to drive intuitively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our distributed, best-of-breed experiences but our ability to empower. The B2C2B obfuscation factor is transparent. We will mesh the commonly-accepted industry jargon "robust". Think nano-intra-60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "communities" really mean? The C2C management factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the term "granular, viral" really mean?