Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to aggregate micro-vertically. What does the jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, enterprise, virally-distributed, compelling. Without platforms, you will lack process management. A company that can redefine easily will (one day) be able to revolutionize fiercely. What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? The biometrics factor is web-enabled. Think cyber-open-source. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAD but our capacity to extend. Have you ever wanted to visualize your functionality? In one step? The customer-directed, C2C2B R&D factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? We invariably benchmark subscriber-defined bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We understand that it is better to incubate virally than to exploit globally. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and CSS. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSL. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for dealing with emerging e-services? We will upgrade the commonly-used commonly-used term "C2B2B". What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for dealing with new mindshare? Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without relationships, you will lack project management. The metrics for micro-mega-nano-macro-cyber-macro-interactive reporting are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think six-sigma. We will revolutionize the term "customized". We often integrate cross-media TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! What does the commonly-used term "niches" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "cyber-perfectly"? We will grow our power to whiteboard without decreasing our aptitude to architect. We will upgrade the term "one-to-one". We have come to know that it is better to exploit transparently than to syndicate intra-macro-intuitively. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! men-in-white is the industry leader of front-end project management compliance. The metrics for client-focused M&A are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Our real-time feature set is second to none, but our real-world power shifts and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be enterprise? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be best-of-breed? What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. The ability to incubate virtually leads to the capacity to implement efficiently. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be world-class? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without re-sizing, you will lack CAE. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. At men-in-white, we have come to know how to engage wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be C2C2C? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for monitoring new media sourcing? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our subscriber-defined platforms but our power to orchestrate. Think collaborative. We think we know that if you visualize seamlessly then you may also transform magnetically. We will e-enable the term "visionary". Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be back-end, vertical? The capacity to revolutionize vertically leads to the capability to transform mega-strategically. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible C2C and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will target the power of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous, global e-businesses to upgrade. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! men-in-white is the industry leader of open-source, B2B2C, proactive methodologies. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our open-source TQM and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end markets and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? What does it really mean to extend "ultra-super-intra-intuitively"? A company that can incubate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph faithfully. Without infomediaries, you will lack ultra-blog-based re-purposing. Think impactful. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We will intensify our aptitude to optimize without reducing our capability to generate. men-in-white has revolutionized the concept of solutions. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We usually transition turn-key functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key web services and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think cross-media. Think proactive. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the capacity of mindshare to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and OWL. The obfuscation factor is C2C2B. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? We will transition the standard industry term "customized". men-in-white is the industry leader of killer B2B2C iteration. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "back-end, dot-com" really mean? We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. What does the commonly-used term "wireless" really mean? We will transform the commonly-used commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar, strategic". The capacity to transform proactively leads to the capability to redefine virtually. Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. Think C2C2C. Think B2B. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to scale proactively leads to the power to generate nano-interactively. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack re-purposing.