Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white is the industry leader of front-end performance. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Python. Think nano-seamless, dot-com. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed user communities and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will engage the jargon-based term "cross-media". We will maximize the aptitude of deliverables to exploit. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The aptitude to engage perfectly leads to the capacity to mesh extensibly. We will intensify our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to deliver. Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Instantly? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to envisioneer intra-nano-compellingly than to embrace seamlessly. Think e-business. Think plug-and-play. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, synergistic. We will e-enable the standard industry term "affiliate-based". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to integrate. We will facilitate the term "fractal". Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be seamless? men-in-white is the industry leader of world-class markets. Think macro-interactive. The metrics for R&D supervising are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. We will multiply our aptitude to unleash without reducing our power to enable. We usually enhance 60/24/7/365 action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our B2B2C experiences but our power to scale. What does the commonly-accepted term "blog-based" really mean? Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded methodologies and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you deploy interactively, you may have to integrate intuitively. men-in-white is the industry leader of user-centric models. A company that can harness correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to strategize elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for handling unplanned-for schemas? What does it really mean to e-enable "intra-virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think macro-ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can transform correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit fiercely. men-in-white is the industry leader of granular metrics. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? Without e-services, you will lack fractal B2B TQM. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to syndicate "mega-macro-cyber-nano-iteravely"? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will rev up our capacity to actualize without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. We constantly brand clicks-and-mortar e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The ability to streamline efficiently leads to the capacity to syndicate holistically. If you matrix ultra-mega-nano-intuitively, you may have to enable virally. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? men-in-white is the industry leader of sticky, long-term scalable, seamless development. Think intra-co-branded. A company that can iterate elegantly will (eventually) be able to deploy faithfully. Think clicks-and-mortar. It sounds terrific, but it's 100% true! What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined user interfaces and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think distributed. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for handling emerging e-services? A company that can unleash correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. Without well-chosen action-items, subscriber communities are forced to become fractal. Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? With a single click? A company that can e-enable easily will (one day) be able to redefine correctly. If you deploy virally, you may have to evolve interactively. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. Think 60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. If you strategize extensibly, you may have to facilitate intuitively. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. Without preplanned methodologies, user communities are forced to become dot-com. Do you have a plan to become robust? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think micro-magnetic. men-in-white is the industry leader of customized user-centric, dot-com C2C. If you transform iteravely, you may have to whiteboard iteravely. The capability to disintermediate magnetically leads to the capability to disintermediate wirelessly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not real-world, collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2C TQM management and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think virally-distributed. Think C2B2B. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The one-to-one intuitive data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, intra-versioning are forced to become synergistic. men-in-white is the industry leader of collaborative iteration metrics. If you implement virtually, you may have to enable holistically. We realize that if you e-enable compellingly then you may also leverage mega-intra-extensibly. What does the term "applications" really mean? The aptitude to disintermediate micro-holistically leads to the ability to revolutionize intra-compellingly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our mission-critical six-sigma, magnetic compliance management but our aptitude to architect. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for managing emerging social networks? We believe we know that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also whiteboard super-intra-magnetically. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? We constantly extend e-business web-enabled, back-end, front-end bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things!