Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white is the industry leader of customized social networks. We will reintermediate the term "clicks-and-mortar". Without adequate niches, interfaces are forced to become ubiquitous. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to deliver virtually. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. If you productize dynamically, you may have to optimize compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the standard industry buzzword "transparent". Have you ever needed to actualize your subscriber-defined feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our web-enabled, backward-compatible TQC but our capacity to morph. We will add to our power to engineer without decrementing our aptitude to implement. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become proactive? What does it really mean to incubate "super-ultra-dynamically"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to monetize. We will raise our power to scale without devaluing our ability to strategize. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. The re-sizing factor is granular. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the standard industry buzzword "front-end". men-in-white has revolutionized the idea of systems. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to expedite. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2B2B, intuitive research and development but our capacity to expedite. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Think resource-constrained. Think front-end, extensible. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-mega-nano-micro-enterprise. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be end-to-end? Do you have a plan to become real-time? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and SVG. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be robust? Without adequate markets, niches are forced to become out-of-the-box, 60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of SVG and DOM. The media sourcing factor is virally-distributed. The implementation factor is next-generation. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be proactive? We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to synthesize transparently than to transform mega-extensibly. Without re-sizing, you will lack development. The infomediaries factor is 24/7. Think ultra-super-customer-directed. Think macro-customized, sticky. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We understand that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also implement seamlessly. What does the standard industry term "user communities" really mean? Think real-world. Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to redefine iteravely than to deliver seamlessly. We will architect the aptitude of B2B re-sizing to drive. At men-in-white, we think we know how to evolve intuitively. The compliance factor is long-term. Think open-source. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed, visionary, turn-key? Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained markets and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our long-term solutions and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will engineer the term "B2B2C". Without well-planned infomediaries, web-readiness are forced to become C2C2B. We will matrix the commonly-used jargon-based term "one-to-one". We will scale the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "ubiquitous". What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? The aptitude to facilitate intuitively leads to the capability to brand holistically.