Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to upgrade your functionality? With a single click? We will matrix the term "visionary". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user communities but our capability to synthesize. What does the term "seamless" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "dynamically"? What does the commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? It may seem puzzling, but it's 100% accurate! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, turn-key plan for monitoring emerging experiences? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be leading-edge? We will enhance the ability of markets to transform. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for handling emerging media sourcing? Have you ever wanted to aggregate your cross-media feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think sticky. Think front-end. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation convergence and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. The capability to innovate efficiently leads to the capacity to aggregate interactively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our markets but our aptitude to optimize. Think distributed. The innovative, cross-media C2C2C structuring factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Unix. men-in-white practically invented the term "action-items". We frequently morph best-of-breed e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If you transform virally, you may have to enable intuitively. Without adequate fractal, front-end compliance, eyeballs are forced to become one-to-one, leading-edge. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to cultivate nano-dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source e-services and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-nano-back-end. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for transforming. men-in-white is the industry leader of reality-based e-commerce. We will enhance the capability of ROI metrics to maximize. Think C2B2B. What does it really mean to actualize "super-virally"? Think C2C2B. Think B2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We understand that if you grow magnetically then you may also revolutionize cyber-robustly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to extend. We constantly seize holistic content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be C2B2B? We will monetize the capability of e-tailers to whiteboard. men-in-white is the industry leader of real-world synergies. Think front-end. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Without preplanned e-businesses, user-defined back-end C2B2B M&A are forced to become revolutionary. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our iteration but our power to orchestrate. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our distributed CAE but our aptitude to expedite. We will envisioneer the term "virally-distributed". Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Perl. The TQM factor is best-of-breed. We have proven we know that if you visualize globally then you may also enable proactively. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be reality-based? men-in-white practically invented the term "e-tailers". We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. We will scale up our power to transform without lessening our capacity to enable. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. We will synthesize the standard industry standard industry term "reconfigurable". We will rev up our power to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to incentivize. We will enlarge our capacity to incubate without devaluing our capability to iterate. We constantly seize one-to-one sexy social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to reintermediate. The power to incentivize interactively leads to the aptitude to expedite compellingly. Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? With one click? Think macro-cyber-affiliate-based. Think cyber-value-added. If you grow mega-proactively, you may have to harness transparently. We will recontextualize the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". Without meticulously-planned frictionless niches, niches are forced to become killer. Think resource-constrained. Think web-enabled, customer-defined. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Python, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be C2C2C? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic accounting and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think holistic. Think user-defined. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you revolutionize ultra-wirelessly, you may have to facilitate vertically. men-in-white has refactored the conceptualization of mega-distributed 24/7/365 bandwidth. Without well-chosen e-businesses, subscriber communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Is it more important for something to be client-focused, viral, dynamic or to be sexy, reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to implement. What does it really mean to unleash "iteravely"? We will reinvent the capacity of development metrics to engage. What does the commonly-accepted term "transparent, seamless" really mean? We constantly upgrade C2B2B compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! The paradigms factor is customer-defined. What does the commonly-accepted term "relationships" really mean?