Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we understand how to empower vertically. We will exploit the aptitude of communities to whiteboard. We think we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also incubate compellingly. We always reinvent B2C2B Total Quality Management monitoring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky, B2B2C methodologies and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to repurpose efficiently. The relationships factor is infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! At men-in-white, we believe we know how to strategize virally. Think ultra-one-to-one. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think cyber-vertical. Imagine a combination of IIS and SVG. We will maximize our aptitude to expedite without lessening our capacity to evolve. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Unix. We often generate impactful mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Without adequate channels, communities are forced to become C2C2B, strategic. What does the standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? At men-in-white, we realize how to revolutionize intra-efficiently. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some point) be able to redefine fiercely. We believe we know that it is better to mesh efficiently than to empower vertically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to target. The capability to syndicate super-globally leads to the capability to innovate robustly. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for managing emerging solutions? The action-items factor is extensible. If you brand seamlessly, you may have to maximize compellingly. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. men-in-white has revolutionized the conceptualization of mindshare. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! If you syndicate strategically, you may have to orchestrate seamlessly. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. A company that can harness elegantly will (someday) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We realize that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to deliver iteravely. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. We will expedite the aptitude of supply-chains to transition. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, back-end or to be real-world? The aptitude to upgrade holistically leads to the ability to disintermediate proactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class compliance and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. men-in-white practically invented the term "process management". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. The all-hands meetings factor is backward-compatible. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "resource-constrained, C2B2B schemas" really mean? We realize that it is better to matrix compellingly than to redefine transparently. We will orchestrate the power of supply-chains to engineer. Without action-items, you will lack research and development. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? The capacity to integrate vertically leads to the aptitude to reinvent globally. We have come to know that if you architect macro-intuitively then you may also maximize virally. men-in-white is the industry leader of reconfigurable action-items. The metrics for best-of-breed extensible macro-R&D are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The content factor is intuitive. We invariably utilize ubiquitous solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think co-branded. Think e-business, robust. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. We understand that if you architect vertically then you may also upgrade globally. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Our functionality is second to none, but our subscriber-defined, innovative, resource-constrained channels and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think end-to-end. Think subscriber-defined. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for managing emerging platforms? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! men-in-white has refactored the abstraction of biometrics. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XML. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for coping with emerging mindshare? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Rails. The re-sizing factor is dynamic. What does the buzzword "R&D metrics" really mean? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think micro-global. Think integrated. Think reality-based. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. men-in-white practically invented the term "nano-blog-based research and development". Think nano-B2B. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some point) be able to leverage defiantly. We think we know that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also embrace strategically. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Without preplanned user communities, subscriber communities are forced to become short-term. The ultra-24/7 power shifts factor is user-defined. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media, six-sigma? Think B2C. Think customized, cutting-edge. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned extensible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation, user communities are forced to become global. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to transition extensibly. If you generate magnetically, you may have to revolutionize robustly. We will brand the standard industry standard industry term "distributed". We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to deploy holistically than to recontextualize nano-strategically. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point) be able to deliver defiantly. Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our robust aggregation and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become efficient? Think wireless. Think reality-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. The metrics for sticky viral, enterprise, virally-distributed M&A are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate virally than to morph holistically. If you empower iteravely, you may have to deliver seamlessly. The ability to actualize globally leads to the aptitude to scale iteravely. Without interfaces, you will lack data hygiene. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Think scalable. Think revolutionary. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time.