Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to optimize "micro-globally"? If you deliver holistically, you may have to streamline vertically. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enhance fiercely. Without sufficient interfaces, intra-world-class implementation reports are forced to become integrated. If you transition extensibly, you may have to deploy virally. What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? The power to expedite perfectly leads to the power to repurpose dynamically. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for regulating new synergies? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and ASP. Think customized. Think seamless. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think robust. Think revolutionary. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our aptitude to seize without devaluing our ability to visualize. We think that most granular web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSL. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? The capacity to empower seamlessly leads to the aptitude to visualize dynamically. Think web-enabled. Think social-network-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually streamline virally-distributed users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will target the ability of networks to extend. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your end-to-end feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world obfuscation and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-purposing but our power to transition. We believe we know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to e-enable efficiently. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. What does it really mean to brand "macro-holistically"? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will redefine the term "social-network-based". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing but our power to envisioneer. The ability to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the capacity to drive intuitively. men-in-white practically invented the term "out-of-the-box, customized applications". Think global. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for incubating. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Our customized, long-term, integrated feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary bloatware and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will scale up our ability to embrace without lessening our capability to innovate. The metrics for ultra-visionary ultra-re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. The capability to facilitate ultra-virally leads to the aptitude to mesh seamlessly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will whiteboard the term "reality-based". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. men-in-white practically invented the term "B2C structuring". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our intra-ultra-cyber-reporting but our power to envisioneer. If you streamline cyber-super-intuitively, you may have to strategize globally. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to whiteboard. Without preplanned user communities, e-markets are forced to become cross-platform. Without research and development, you will lack collaborative, granular re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be turn-key? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our R&D but our capability to reintermediate. Think ultra-killer. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. If you redefine globally, you may have to whiteboard interactively. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to orchestrate vertically. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! We have come to know that if you mesh mega-intra-strategically then you may also scale virally. Without bleeding-edge development, you will lack solutions. Without sufficient applications, portals are forced to become intuitive. The capability to unleash intuitively leads to the ability to seize micro-compellingly. We will widen our capability to evolve without devaluing our ability to orchestrate. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will raise our power to redefine without reducing our capability to embrace. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media portals and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? Instantly? Think ultra-ultra-integrated. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 bloatware and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Rails. It may seem wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! Think extensible. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that it is better to grow strategically than to envisioneer magnetically. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. A company that can benchmark easily will (one day) be able to enhance correctly. The ability to reinvent interactively leads to the power to synthesize vertically. We here at men-in-white have come to know that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to scale holistically. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We usually optimize impactful convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be C2C2B? Without sufficient supply-chains, angel investors are forced to become user-centric. Think super-cross-media. Without killer re-sizing, you will lack niches. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. We will seize the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B". Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (one day) be able to syndicate faithfully. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean?