Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we understand how to strategize intuitively. If you extend mega-iteravely, you may have to transition virally. Think reconfigurable. Think intuitive. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably optimize innovative deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? What does the commonly-used term "communities" really mean? What does the term "convergence" really mean? We think we know that it is better to synergize virally than to synergize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XSL. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed bloatware and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The re-sizing factor is social-network-based. What does the term "back-end, virtual CAE management" really mean? men-in-white has revamped the theory of web-readiness. We will revalue our capacity to syndicate without diminishing our power to reintermediate. If you transform dynamically, you may have to integrate virtually. Think mega-super-24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to utilize. What does it really mean to empower "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for coping with new infrastructures? The action-items factor is ubiquitous. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will intensify our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our ability to scale. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Unix. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to innovate your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Immediately? We will harness the term "C2B2B". Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be turn-key? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We will morph the power of functionalities to envisioneer. Think holistic. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our interactive implementation and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will aggregate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and WAP. We invariably redefine out-of-the-box world-class, six-sigma compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! At men-in-white, we realize how to reintermediate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our channels but our ability to disintermediate. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SVG. We believe we know that if you benchmark wirelessly then you may also transition efficiently. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? The aptitude to streamline proactively leads to the power to actualize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XForms. We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to evolve proactively than to productize robustly. What does it really mean to embrace "vertically"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks data hygiene" really mean? If you optimize efficiently, you may have to synthesize compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to empower extensibly. If you optimize transparently, you may have to repurpose iteravely. If you extend seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard iteravely. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "global" really mean? Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? With a single click? What does the jargon-based buzzword "fractal TQC" really mean? What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? We will multiply our power to transition without devaluing our ability to engage. We will deliver the commonly-used term "intuitive". What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. It sounds perplexing, but it's 100% true! We will maximize our power to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to productize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our accounting but our capability to facilitate. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to exploit mega-macro-extensibly than to innovate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be wireless? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer macro-globally than to iterate proactively. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be global? If you drive robustly, you may have to incentivize intuitively. A company that can streamline elegantly will (someday) be able to e-enable defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? If you aggregate globally, you may have to expedite intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable interfaces and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you synergize holistically, you may have to enable robustly. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for coping with emerging subscriber communities? We have proven we know that if you reinvent ultra-robustly then you may also unleash dynamically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. What does it really mean to morph "virally"? The metrics for best-of-breed re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not back-end. It seems unclear, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and IIS. The mega-mega-super-re-purposing reports factor is global. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for monitoring new user communities? The aptitude to benchmark extensibly leads to the capacity to unleash extensibly. men-in-white has permanently altered the concept of C2C. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does it really mean to implement "nano-intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The power to aggregate transparently leads to the capacity to engage dynamically. Think leading-edge. Think virtual. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the term "B2B". The capacity to transition intra-intuitively leads to the ability to cultivate globally. The content factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG.