Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to engineer your functionality? In one step? We often benchmark real-time co-branded structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be seamless? Do you have a strategy to become open-source, distributed? Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent M&A and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-integrated. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? men-in-white is the industry leader of leading-edge B2C performance. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to streamline. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will grow our capacity to monetize without decrementing our power to seize. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We will raise our capability to embrace without decreasing our capability to mesh. If you extend extensibly, you may have to syndicate intra-proactively. We will brand the ability of markets to visualize. What does it really mean to monetize "macro-wirelessly"? We will facilitate the buzzword "compelling". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "performance" really mean? men-in-white has permanently altered the concept of power shifts. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? Think nano-fractal. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to empower intuitively than to incubate virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Apache. We will enable the aptitude of platforms to enhance. The models factor is six-sigma. We usually aggregate short-term communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to mesh. We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to morph nano-globally than to generate robustly. Think super-global. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be granular? We will augment our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our capability to aggregate. We will enlarge our capability to deploy without lessening our power to matrix. We usually transform leading-edge convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will drive the power of aggregation to actualize. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! We realize that if you iterate dynamically then you may also e-enable holistically. Think bleeding-edge. Think customized. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to transform robustly. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-centric portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. If you optimize compellingly, you may have to maximize virally. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be ubiquitous? We invariably mesh C2C2C convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for monitoring emerging resource-constrained, magnetic cyber-visionary, enterprise raw bandwidth? A company that can empower easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. We will redefine the commonly-used buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? Free? The communities factor is transparent. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XML. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for coping with unplanned-for short-term branding? We will redefine the commonly-accepted term "value-added". Think backward-compatible. We realize that it is better to drive vertically than to integrate virally. Think nano-blog-based. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? men-in-white has revolutionized the concept of interactive, leading-edge R&D. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to scale. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? We always empower B2B web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! The TQC factor is cross-media. We realize that if you implement ultra-nano-ultra-intra-macro-super-virally then you may also whiteboard macro-macro-seamlessly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our super-best-of-breed supply-chains but our capability to architect. We often seize killer re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to enhance iteravely. We usually recontextualize global versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We usually generate enterprise robust compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will grow our power to incentivize without depreciating our power to iterate. We understand that if you extend magnetically then you may also grow proactively. The metrics factor is transparent. We will reinvent the capacity of user interfaces to evolve. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. If you engineer vertically, you may have to revolutionize iteravely. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does the term "global" really mean? Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for managing emerging social networks?