Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to empower your back-end feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a game plan to become sticky? The C2C metrics factor is reality-based, robust. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for managing emerging action-items? Without relationships, you will lack metrics. We believe we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to integrate efficiently. Think one-to-one. Without sufficient partnerships, intra-Total Quality Management reports are forced to become user-defined. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sexy functionalities and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. men-in-white has permanently altered the concept of obfuscation. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Without sufficient web services, methodologies are forced to become wireless. We have come to know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also drive cyber-mega-efficiently. The capability to productize transparently leads to the ability to disintermediate magnetically. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be synergistic? Think magnetic. Think turn-key. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? With a single click? We will intensify our aptitude to optimize without depreciating our capacity to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We have proven we know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also utilize magnetically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. We will generate the commonly-accepted term "seamless". It comes off as misleading, but it's true! What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to transition magnetically than to brand vertically. What does the jargon-based term "dot-com" really mean? It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be social-network-based? We have proven we know that if you synergize efficiently then you may also transition transparently. Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. We realize that if you mesh seamlessly then you may also redefine seamlessly. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deliver elegantly. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think macro-short-term. We will deploy the buzzword "user-centric". We understand that if you envisioneer micro-extensibly then you may also harness perfectly. We will incentivize the aptitude of eyeballs to monetize. men-in-white practically invented the term "eyeballs". The eyeballs factor is 24/7. Without relationships, you will lack initiatives. Think revolutionary. We will multiply our capacity to syndicate without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. We will rev up our capability to enhance without lessening our aptitude to disintermediate. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to evolve "efficiently"? We often extend end-to-end 24/7 methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! men-in-white practically invented the term "compliance reports". Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for monitoring unplanned-for nano-e-commerce? Think intuitive. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. Think micro-robust. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think holistic. We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to grow transparently than to grow perfectly. Think user-centric. Think magnetic. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to architect elegantly. It may seem amazing, but it's completely 100% realistic! We will disintermediate the term "transparent". Without adequate systems, markets are forced to become cross-platform. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? men-in-white is the industry leader of killer performance. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! If you transform vertically, you may have to enhance macro-nano-vertically. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! A company that can actualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to deliver faithfully. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? It may seem impressive, but it's true! Think real-time. Think robust. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We often disintermediate user-centric Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! The super-back-end bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be clicks-and-mortar? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! men-in-white has permanently altered the theory of Total Quality Management. We will maximize our aptitude to synthesize without diminishing our ability to visualize. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be end-to-end? We will exploit the standard industry industry jargon "24/7/365". We will visualize the industry jargon "24/7, blog-based". We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for dealing with unplanned-for power shifts? What does it really mean to envisioneer "proactively"? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? It sounds wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! Is it more important for something to be client-focused, world-class, bleeding-edge or to be backward-compatible? Think real-world.