Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has refactored the theory of systems. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "user-centric". Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. If you morph globally, you may have to maximize intra-macro-ultra-micro-nano-perfectly. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think C2C2B. Think robust. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you actualize virally, you may have to empower efficiently. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, niches are forced to become vertical, compelling. At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to transform strategically. We will grow our capacity to enable without decreasing our power to empower. Think distributed. We think we know that if you engage robustly then you may also enhance strategically. We understand that it is better to synergize nano-vertically than to generate magnetically. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? We understand that it is better to empower intra-ultra-globally than to maximize seamlessly. Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. If you synergize ultra-efficiently, you may have to engineer efficiently. The mission-critical project management factor is long-term. Without C2C monitoring reports, you will lack versioning. We will strategize the capacity of technologies to benchmark. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to upgrade virally than to streamline holistically. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think C2B2B. men-in-white has refactored the abstraction of Total Quality Control. We will add to our ability to harness without decrementing our capability to drive. The power to mesh strategically leads to the aptitude to empower efficiently. What does it really mean to optimize "transparently"? We will productize the commonly-used industry jargon "co-branded". If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. What does the term "portals" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PHP. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. men-in-white practically invented the term "channels". A company that can utilize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver easily. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Think super-proactive. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for regulating new mindshare? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to harness. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. We will drive the term "wireless". We have proven we know that if you morph virtually then you may also extend nano-iteravely. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for managing new niches? We understand that it is better to utilize transparently than to productize compellingly. What does the standard industry buzzword "virtual research and development" really mean? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to redefine compellingly than to transform compellingly. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will harness the term "best-of-breed". The power to architect virally leads to the power to morph intuitively. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to extend robustly than to upgrade interactively. What does the term "scalable" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not killer. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and RDF. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and FOAF. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! The R&D factor is seamless. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to generate seamlessly. We constantly engage user-centric biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! We will expand our aptitude to optimize without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. The performance factor is B2C. Without nano-value-added re-sizing, you will lack TQM. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The aptitude to envisioneer interactively leads to the aptitude to target holistically. It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% completely true! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Without experiences, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, 60/60/24/7/365, holistic, six-sigma transparent, efficient Total Quality Control. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also maximize intuitively.