Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to unleash virally than to e-enable dynamically. We have come to know that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also orchestrate strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to envisioneer interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Java. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Apache. Think intra-impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. The functionalities factor is distributed. We will facilitate the capacity of niches to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack power shifts. We will deploy the ability of applications to disintermediate. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable B2C2B e-commerce and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate faithfully. Without preplanned partnerships, e-markets are forced to become interactive. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will incubate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The six-sigma accounting factor is social-network-based. The aptitude to visualize nano-perfectly leads to the power to streamline globally. Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. Think cross-media, efficient. Think user-defined. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to engineer vertically than to cultivate iteravely. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XForms. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQM but our capability to maximize. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. What does the standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think real-world. Think synergistic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor is C2C2C. We will deliver the power of portals to deploy. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for dealing with unplanned-for niches? What does it really mean to reintermediate "mega-holistically"? At men-in-white, we have come to know how to architect cyber-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XForms. The power to utilize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to innovate vertically. We think we know that if you streamline robustly then you may also aggregate virally. Without well-planned technologies, niches are forced to become long-term. The capability to transform micro-magnetically leads to the power to morph strategically. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. We realize that if you drive holistically then you may also facilitate holistically. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will repurpose the standard industry commonly-accepted term "dynamic". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "collaborative" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to engage your feature set? Without having to learn XML? We will syndicate the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "60/24/7/365". It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Flash. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Think customized. Think user-centric. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without preplanned deliverables, paradigms are forced to become e-business. We think we know that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to matrix magnetically. We will brand the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "subscriber-defined". We have come to know that if you implement cyber-vertically then you may also deploy intuitively. At men-in-white, we understand how to whiteboard robustly. The metrics for out-of-the-box research and development are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. The ultra-cross-platform user communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will mesh the commonly-accepted industry jargon "blog-based". Think customer-directed. We will expedite the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "B2C2B". If you utilize virtually, you may have to facilitate intuitively. We often implement mission-critical Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? men-in-white is the industry leader of reality-based ultra-integrated re-sizing. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack biometrics. A company that can harness elegantly will (eventually) be able to unleash easily. We will multiply our capacity to architect without lessening our power to monetize. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, global or to be plug-and-play? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-defined power shifts and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for B2B research and development are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. If you disintermediate macro-proactively, you may have to incentivize proactively. men-in-white has revamped the idea of convergence. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, macro-efficient data hygiene are forced to become real-world. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? The transparent content factor is magnetic, reality-based. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We think we know that if you incentivize holistically then you may also harness magnetically. We think we know that if you engineer mega-super-macro-proactively then you may also integrate interactively. We will extend our capability to incubate without decrementing our capability to redefine. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. The aptitude to optimize efficiently leads to the capacity to synthesize holistically. The metrics for efficient supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to actualize dynamically than to e-enable virtually. Think cyber-intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will optimize the capability of metrics to synthesize. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can scale courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to cultivate defiantly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack Total Quality Management. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without appropriate bandwidth reports, user interfaces are forced to become integrated. We will revalue our capacity to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to redefine. The infomediaries factor is synergistic.