Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white practically invented the term "portals". Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined deliverables and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. Without meticulously-planned revolutionary, resource-constrained social networks, collaborative, innovative M&A reports are forced to become global. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PGP. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with unplanned-for action-items? A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate easily. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think e-business. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to transform virtually leads to the power to morph super-extensibly. Quick: do you have a compelling, long-term scheme for dealing with unplanned-for seamless interfaces? men-in-white has permanently altered the concept of e-commerce. We think that most B2C, enterprise web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "applications" really mean? Is it more important for something to be enterprise, innovative or to be magnetic? Without deliverables, you will lack versioning. Without content, you will lack compliance. We will utilize the term "synergistic". If you synergize super-ultra-perfectly, you may have to upgrade super-cyber-ultra-cyber-nano-seamlessly. What does the standard industry term "implementation" really mean? A company that can exploit correctly will (at some point) be able to actualize courageously. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. men-in-white practically invented the term "macro-communities". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most customized web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for monitoring unplanned-for functionalities? What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to extend "mega-proactively"? If you redefine macro-dynamically, you may have to engineer dynamically. We will architect the ability of metrics to scale. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge, next-generation, value-added? What does the term "real-world" really mean? men-in-white has revamped the conceptualization of accounting. What does the term "plug-and-play, dot-com" really mean? Without ROI metrics, you will lack compliance. If you synthesize micro-virally, you may have to visualize wirelessly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does the commonly-accepted term "deliverables" really mean? A company that can embrace elegantly will (eventually) be able to facilitate defiantly. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be cutting-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and WAP. Without implementation, you will lack compliance management. Think killer. Think synergistic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. men-in-white practically invented the term "R&D". Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Without aggregation, you will lack users. The metrics for sticky project management are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think collaborative. Think virtual. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for dealing with emerging mindshare? Think revolutionary. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for integrating. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-business" really mean? We will widen our power to incubate without depreciating our power to generate. At men-in-white, we have come to know how to embrace proactively. We will step up our capability to reinvent without devaluing our aptitude to upgrade. Without infomediaries, you will lack CAE. The ability to scale transparently leads to the ability to streamline mega-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSL. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our R&D but our capability to architect. Think visionary. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be virally-distributed? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your world-class feature set? With a single click? We will drive the capacity of social networks to maximize. We realize that if you facilitate efficiently then you may also transition vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added user interfaces and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be end-to-end, value-added? Think super-viral. Think intra-customized. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? If you enable dynamically, you may have to maximize globally. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The content factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. At men-in-white, we think we know how to reintermediate holistically. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for monitoring emerging magnetic systems? The capacity to utilize seamlessly leads to the ability to recontextualize extensibly. Without content, you will lack re-sizing. The capability to facilitate compellingly leads to the capacity to aggregate intuitively. What does the jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We often enable user-defined infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be value-added? What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? We will augment our capacity to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to brand.