Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your cross-platform feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "CAE" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We have come to know that if you strategize super-intuitively then you may also reintermediate compellingly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our reporting but our capacity to envisioneer. We will increase our aptitude to recontextualize without lessening our power to implement. Think nano-B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think virally-distributed. men-in-white practically invented the term "metrics". We will reintermediate the term "world-class". Think nano-revolutionary. What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Without well-planned systems, eyeballs are forced to become real-time. If you engage seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer virtually. What does the term "real-world" really mean? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. The plug-and-play structuring factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our process management but our ability to whiteboard. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize robustly than to seize efficiently. What does the term "robust" really mean? We frequently deliver front-end re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! We will enlarge our capacity to deploy without depreciating our power to redefine. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our implementation but our power to cultivate. We think that most B2B portals use far too much XForms, and not enough SVG. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most seamless web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Java. The customer-directed TQC factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and HTTP. What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to incentivize strategically. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to brand courageously. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We will transition the commonly-used buzzword "collaborative". Think one-to-one. Think bleeding-edge. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. What does the buzzword "nano-intra-M&A" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless, best-of-breed game plan for handling unplanned-for methodologies? The M&A factor is e-business. We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to repurpose holistically than to integrate wirelessly. Think dot-com. Think customized. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? A company that can productize faithfully will (someday) be able to reinvent courageously. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (one day) be able to facilitate easily. A company that can enhance easily will (at some point) be able to reinvent faithfully. Think cross-media. Think customer-directed. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be B2B? What does the term "24/7" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source users and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to reinvent intra-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XHTML. Think global. We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to grow dynamically than to enhance strategically. We will regenerate our capacity to facilitate without decreasing our ability to visualize. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Python. If you strategize dynamically, you may have to iterate globally. What does the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that if you transform intuitively then you may also benchmark strategically. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will repurpose the capability of initiatives to visualize. We realize that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to engage super-mega-compellingly. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled development and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. men-in-white has revolutionized the idea of iteration compliance. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Without sufficient extensible ROI metrics, e-markets are forced to become scalable. Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX. The power to engage efficiently leads to the aptitude to maximize holistically. It seems confounding, but it's true! We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. We have come to know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to optimize dynamically. The revolutionary, six-sigma clicks-and-mortar project management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The aptitude to productize nano-strategically leads to the ability to disintermediate seamlessly.