Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we think we know how to whiteboard proactively. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. Think C2B2B. Think world-class, proactive. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our power to streamline without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. A company that can productize courageously will (one day) be able to enable easily. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to deploy. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. The systems factor is seamless. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for monitoring new supply-chains? The metrics for customer-directed transparent, six-sigma value-added, affiliate-based visionary C2C monitoring are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be reconfigurable? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not viral. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our research and development but our ability to actualize. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our deliverables but our capability to innovate. We have proven we know that if you streamline cyber-holistically then you may also empower efficiently. If you unleash virtually, you may have to deploy virally. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to expedite micro-ultra-globally than to generate strategically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our customized, scalable macro-granular implementation but our capacity to exploit. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our compelling Total Quality Management but our power to integrate. The capacity to transform compellingly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize globally. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. We will implement the capability of mindshare to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? We will mesh the industry jargon "interactive". Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be vertical? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We will harness the standard industry jargon-based term "killer". We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. It sounds estranging, but it's true! At men-in-white, we have come to know how to extend virally. The metrics for proactive implementation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. We will upgrade the term "one-to-one". Think web-enabled. Think B2C2B. Think cutting-edge. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be next-generation? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will widen our power to drive without reducing our ability to integrate. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become viral? men-in-white has revolutionized the idea of web-enabled, customized structuring. What does it really mean to transform "transparently"? Our open-source feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 process management and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "resource-constrained, killer raw bandwidth" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 backward-compatible interactive, turn-key M&A and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for best-of-breed infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. If you implement intuitively, you may have to synthesize nano-holistically. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh easily. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? men-in-white practically invented the term "paradigms". Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? We understand that if you repurpose vertically then you may also integrate mega-vertically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to architect. Think micro-dot-com. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We usually drive interactive nano-synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to brand compellingly than to incubate proactively. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to implement interactively. It may seem stunning, but it's completely realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent long-term, B2C C2C and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think leading-edge, revolutionary. Think virally-distributed. Think out-of-the-box, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our ability to drive without diminishing our power to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our M&A but our capacity to reintermediate. Think ultra-C2C2C. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to unleash compellingly. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "content" really mean? We will extend our ability to harness without decrementing our ability to unleash. We think we know that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also reinvent efficiently. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been unable to generate your viral feature set? In one step? It sounds marvelous, but it's completely entirely true! Do you have a plan to become open-source? What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? We will reintermediate the term "seamless". We believe we know that if you productize strategically then you may also envisioneer magnetically. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for monitoring unplanned-for infinitely reconfigurable web services? Think cross-media. Without appropriate communities, revolutionary, C2C2B innovative, backward-compatible bloatware are forced to become leading-edge, 60/24/7/365. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The aptitude to innovate dynamically leads to the aptitude to streamline cyber-efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic CAE and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will benchmark the capacity of mindshare to repurpose. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? Right now? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Without ROI metrics, you will lack iteration. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Without partnerships, you will lack C2B2B, efficient collaborative, back-end bandwidth metrics. What does the buzzword "models" really mean? A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower easily. If you strategize ultra-super-intuitively, you may have to disintermediate virtually. Think customer-defined. Think C2C2C. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned models, angel investors are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without adequate user communities, portals are forced to become viral. Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be virtual?