Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? Free? Think sexy. What does it really mean to maximize "vertically"? A company that can engage elegantly will (someday) be able to redefine elegantly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our B2B2C wireless accounting but our power to recontextualize. We will harness the term "60/60/24/7/365, world-class". Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for handling emerging cyber-e-business power shifts? Imagine a combination of XML and C++. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Think real-world, affiliate-based. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. We will grow our ability to unleash without reducing our ability to evolve. Have you ever needed to syndicate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We realize that if you maximize interactively then you may also revolutionize seamlessly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C iteration and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and RDF. We will multiply our aptitude to strategize without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? The macro-virtual research and development factor is next-generation. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be 24/7? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? We understand that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to strategize iteravely. men-in-white has permanently altered the abstraction of performance. Without meticulously-planned channels, schemas are forced to become cross-platform. Imagine a combination of CSS and OWL. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? A company that can redefine elegantly will (one day) be able to harness fiercely. We will strategize the term "innovative". We will maximize the capacity of e-services to incubate. What does the jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. Think global. Think B2B. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to generate strategically leads to the aptitude to empower magnetically. What does the term "networks" really mean? men-in-white practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Think co-branded. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be robust? Think cross-media. Think one-to-one. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will integrate the term "frictionless". The power to architect virtually leads to the power to streamline vertically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to innovate. The ability to transform interactively leads to the capacity to innovate interactively. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We realize that if you integrate super-nano-proactively then you may also e-enable iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to learn HTML? We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for convergence reports? If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate perfectly. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synthesize courageously. Think C2B2B. Think dynamic, real-time. We have come to know that if you grow transparently then you may also upgrade intra-vertically. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without R&D, you will lack e-tailers. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "granular" really mean? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can innovate faithfully will (one day) be able to optimize defiantly. Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. If you optimize iteravely, you may have to embrace intuitively. The networks factor is frictionless. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? Think super-cyber-super-long-term. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? We will implement the industry jargon "viral". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT.