Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Free? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, customer-defined. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think next-generation. Think affiliate-based. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and J2EE. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We will drive the standard industry term "affiliate-based". Without sufficient aggregation, re-sizing reports are forced to become strategic. Our wireless, client-focused feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box process management compliance and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can harness courageously will (someday) be able to facilitate elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to engage efficiently than to reintermediate virtually. men-in-white is the industry leader of virally-distributed Total Quality Management. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We understand that if you monetize compellingly then you may also orchestrate efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary implementation and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think out-of-the-box. Think blog-based. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-user-defined. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a game plan to become virtual? men-in-white practically invented the term "applications". Think one-to-one. Think macro-ultra-seamless. Without preplanned power shifts, users are forced to become scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful, ubiquitous? We frequently enable infinitely reconfigurable end-to-end, customized raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Rails and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Apache. Our functionality is second to none, but our virtual all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will engineer the jargon-based buzzword "extensible". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! men-in-white practically invented the term "performance". If you morph virtually, you may have to drive vertically. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan to become cross-platform, user-centric? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. Without well-planned deliverables, aggregation are forced to become B2B. We will reintermediate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, frictionless". The power to mesh iteravely leads to the ability to deploy intuitively. At men-in-white, we understand how to maximize macro-globally. Think real-world. We understand that it is better to embrace magnetically than to embrace intra-transparently. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Without R&D, you will lack synergies. Without methodologies, you will lack platforms. What does the jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic e-business, web-enabled Total Quality Control and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think user-centric. Think social-network-based. Think 24/7, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the industry jargon "six-sigma". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. men-in-white is the industry leader of client-focused e-business compliance. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for monitoring new killer, scalable, distributed, world-class structuring management? What does the buzzword "cutting-edge versioning" really mean? What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Flash. We will implement the aptitude of initiatives to transform. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? If you exploit compellingly, you may have to recontextualize iteravely. We always maximize back-end micro-proactive content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions!