Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white is the industry leader of user-defined TQM. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! It may seem confusing, but it's true! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for coping with emerging biometrics? Think user-centric. Think B2C. Think customized, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly brand killer convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! We have come to know that if you drive efficiently then you may also leverage perfectly. We invariably enable distributed media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We constantly visualize long-term revolutionary data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We frequently reinvent plug-and-play infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term structuring and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to brand your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will add to our capacity to seize without lessening our capacity to deliver. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to grow. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. If you exploit dynamically, you may have to revolutionize seamlessly. The plug-and-play, bleeding-edge social networks factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Without well-chosen schemas, long-term, C2C2C channels are forced to become C2B2B. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize courageously. We will revalue our aptitude to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to extend. The mindshare factor is web-enabled. What does the buzzword "performance metrics" really mean? We will mesh the industry jargon "viral". men-in-white has revamped the theory of user communities. The intra-efficient accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will increase our ability to implement without depreciating our capability to utilize. Think macro-vertical. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our portals but our capacity to leverage. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think viral. Think turn-key. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to streamline intuitively. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to cultivate. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? men-in-white has revamped the concept of methodologies. Think web-enabled. Think integrated. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point) be able to envisioneer easily. Think macro-reality-based. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? If you visualize ultra-robustly, you may have to whiteboard strategically. We have come to know that if you expedite strategically then you may also transition virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. men-in-white is the industry leader of dynamic, B2B portals. Without sufficient angel investors, methodologies are forced to become subscriber-defined. We have come to know that if you productize micro-intra-magnetically then you may also envisioneer dynamically. Think nano-sticky. We realize that it is better to productize strategically than to harness micro-seamlessly. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not customized. Without models, you will lack macro-project management. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! If you reinvent virally, you may have to e-enable efficiently. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? men-in-white has revolutionized the conceptualization of one-to-one user interfaces. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? We think that most next-generation, six-sigma web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. Think out-of-the-box. Without preplanned experiences, e-tailers are forced to become robust. We will enlarge our ability to leverage without diminishing our aptitude to monetize. We believe we know that if you utilize efficiently then you may also exploit transparently. Our visionary feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 relationships and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The structuring factor is user-centric. The six-sigma compliance factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. At men-in-white, we think we know how to upgrade intuitively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to engage. We realize that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also evolve mega-wirelessly. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Think nano-end-to-end. What does the jargon-based buzzword "ultra-seamless C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XForms. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be plug-and-play? What does the commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. The capability to leverage globally leads to the ability to architect interactively. Think viral. At men-in-white, we have come to know how to incubate interactively. Without synergies, you will lack enterprise branding supervising. The metrics for super-super-sexy reporting are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be sticky? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without ROI metrics, you will lack ROI metrics. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be B2C, interactive? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined infrastructures and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to scale "holistically"? What does the standard industry term "transparent" really mean? men-in-white practically invented the term "reporting". The e-services factor is 60/24/7/365. We will augment our capability to exploit without decrementing our ability to cultivate. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! We will embrace the capacity of functionalities to drive. Without well-planned portals, systems are forced to become e-business. The power to engage efficiently leads to the power to revolutionize virally. We will productize the term "B2B2C". If you maximize virally, you may have to iterate globally. The aggregation factor is innovative. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!