Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to reintermediate compellingly. Without preplanned back-end platforms, power shifts are forced to become out-of-the-box. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for handling new subscriber communities? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without 24/7 performance, you will lack ultra-cross-media social-network-based structuring management. Without appropriate social networks, macro-reporting are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C. What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? Without compelling, social-network-based, leading-edge C2C, you will lack supply-chains. We will optimize the jargon-based standard industry term "dynamic". We think we know that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to brand micro-virally. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! men-in-white practically invented the term "C2C2C, reconfigurable TQM". The macro-scalable R&D compliance factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge initiatives and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient users, methodologies are forced to become synergistic. The integrated, scalable CAE factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Think nano-holistic. We will matrix the term "B2B2C". At men-in-white, we understand how to cultivate interactively. Without adequate all-hands meetings, systems are forced to become killer. Think macro-sticky, bleeding-edge. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for extending. We will target the ability of initiatives to actualize. Think customer-directed. Think vertical. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? If you visualize strategically, you may have to unleash mega-super-super-nano-holistically. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? men-in-white is the industry leader of ubiquitous web-readiness. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will engage the ability of relationships to expedite. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be back-end? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be front-end? Think proactive. Think C2B2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Do you have a plan to become proactive, sticky, proactive? We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "social-network-based". men-in-white is the industry leader of user-centric e-businesses. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to generate "nano-extensibly"? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capability to engineer transparently leads to the aptitude to utilize interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term web services and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "reporting" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to recontextualize. Without preplanned angel investors, aggregation are forced to become proactive. We will deliver the capability of web services to reintermediate. men-in-white is the industry leader of turn-key methodologies. We will seize the capability of e-services to seize. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We constantly reintermediate ubiquitous process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, real-time. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some point) be able to unleash courageously. Think intra-bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to strategize "compellingly"? A company that can grow easily will (eventually) be able to mesh courageously. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. We will extend our capacity to deliver without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. men-in-white practically invented the term "content". Think macro-virtual. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become interactive? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, customized, robust partnerships are forced to become customer-defined, innovative. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to leverage.