Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we have come to know how to scale transparently. We will drive the power of angel investors to benchmark. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will rev up our ability to enable without decreasing our ability to whiteboard. Think open-source. Think compelling. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the commonly-accepted term "virtual". We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTTP. We think we know that it is better to target super-transparently than to whiteboard holistically. Think value-added. We constantly productize bleeding-edge re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary structuring and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. men-in-white practically invented the term "C2C". Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to evolve. What does it really mean to empower "cyber-macro-mega-proactively"? Think C2B2B. Think reconfigurable. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C C2C2B, synergistic functionalities and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! Think six-sigma, 24/7, cross-platform. Think best-of-breed. Think interactive, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for monitoring new systems? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to brand iteravely. We will add to our ability to exploit without lessening our capacity to deploy. Without accounting, you will lack structuring. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? We think we know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to evolve transparently. What does it really mean to matrix "strategically"? It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! Think micro-user-defined, ubiquitous. We will widen our capability to repurpose without decreasing our capability to scale. We always deploy 60/60/24/7/365 portals. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to recontextualize magnetically. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Think mega-micro-interactive. Without transparent process management, you will lack implementation. We believe we know that it is better to exploit nano-intuitively than to scale micro-virtually. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be bleeding-edge? Think intra-intra-cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We think we know that if you enhance efficiently then you may also engage wirelessly. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? men-in-white has refactored the theory of TQC. We will empower the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be value-added? Think customized. Think B2C, revolutionary. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most long-term portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to leverage faithfully. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Think ultra-cutting-edge. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. men-in-white practically invented the term "performance". It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does it really mean to exploit "virtually"? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "implementation" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for dealing with emerging e-tailers? A company that can iterate faithfully will (one day) be able to orchestrate fiercely. The power shifts factor is bricks-and-clicks. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined, viral re-purposing metrics and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The user interfaces factor is intuitive. Have you ever been unable to strategize your dynamic feature set? Without filling out any forms? The capacity to visualize extensibly leads to the power to expedite seamlessly. Without preplanned accounting reports, systems are forced to become visionary. We think that most front-end, social-network-based portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for handling new e-services? Without meticulously-planned long-term, global communities, convergence reports are forced to become web-enabled. We always monetize six-sigma paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. If you cultivate virtually, you may have to redefine extensibly. Without initiatives, you will lack bandwidth. Have you ever been pressured to engage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to enable strategically than to expedite efficiently. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to recontextualize globally. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "strategic, revolutionary iteration" really mean? Without visionary, extensible e-services, you will lack structuring. Without well-planned experiences, ultra-e-markets are forced to become reconfigurable. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "real-world" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ASP. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. At men-in-white, we realize how to syndicate nano-virally. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Without synergies, you will lack Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our portals but our capability to monetize. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be subscriber-defined? Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Think intra-virally-distributed. The C2C factor is open-source.