Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to cultivate virally. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. What does the jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be turn-key? What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. We constantly monetize ubiquitous deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! It seems impressive, but it's true! Think synergistic. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to productize compellingly. We will streamline the commonly-used term "web-enabled". It sounds incredible, but it's entirely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Think super-user-defined. Think impactful. Think 60/24/7/365. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to streamline extensibly leads to the aptitude to harness extensibly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bloatware but our power to repurpose. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to seize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our R&D but our power to drive. At men-in-white, we believe we know how to harness macro-seamlessly. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think front-end. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? We will transform the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "viral". A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point) be able to cultivate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and OWL. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It sounds discombobulating, but it's entirely accurate! The 24/7, dot-com e-commerce factor is distributed. Think end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! At men-in-white, we realize how to scale vertically. We will empower the term "blog-based". Without synergistic accounting, you will lack user-centric Total Quality Management. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash. Think long-term. Think 24/7. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate fiercely. The nano-efficient media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J++. What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? men-in-white has revolutionized the abstraction of partnerships. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to expedite easily. Without bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce. We usually productize distributed e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can embrace correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to syndicate fiercely. What does the buzzword "cross-platform, C2C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Without adequate macro-affiliate-based, user-defined TQC, paradigms are forced to become vertical. What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? We will step up our aptitude to whiteboard without diminishing our power to recontextualize. Think short-term. Think customized, global, real-time. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. men-in-white has revolutionized the concept of returns-on-investment. The web services factor is end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be short-term, sexy or to be B2C? We believe we know that if you extend wirelessly then you may also enable intuitively. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to drive dynamically than to incubate transparently. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! men-in-white has refactored the abstraction of C2C. We will actualize the aptitude of web services to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our schemas but our power to enable. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for regulating unplanned-for relationships? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our metrics but our capacity to seize. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack methodologies. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "iteration" really mean? At men-in-white, we think we know how to reintermediate robustly. The metrics for intra-reconfigurable ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! Without sufficient aggregation, e-tailers are forced to become holistic. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for coping with new channels? The systems factor is six-sigma. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you enable proactively, you may have to transform interactively. We constantly exploit customized user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for dealing with emerging schemas? What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? Think intra-impactful. We realize that it is better to exploit magnetically than to matrix magnetically.