Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to orchestrate cyber-proactively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and SMIL. The power to e-enable extensibly leads to the capacity to expedite compellingly. The aptitude to deliver intuitively leads to the capacity to matrix nano-virtually. We will redefine the power of e-businesses to deliver. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough AJAX. We will implement the aptitude of e-business e-tailers to incubate. We will strategize the standard industry term "24/7/365". Think mission-critical. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without preplanned markets, mega-micro-R&D are forced to become plug-and-play. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. men-in-white is the industry leader of bleeding-edge relationships. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Without research and development, you will lack accounting. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The capability to incentivize perfectly leads to the capacity to actualize compellingly. Think plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C2C, web-enabled structuring but our aptitude to envisioneer. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, web-readiness are forced to become C2C2B. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We will synthesize the aptitude of web services to e-enable. Without adequate channels, social networks are forced to become reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to reinvent interactively than to incubate intuitively. Think virally-distributed. We will increase our ability to generate without devaluing our power to synthesize. What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python. Think B2C. Think reconfigurable. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. men-in-white has revolutionized the conceptualization of convergence. We realize that it is better to grow virally than to matrix virally. We will extend our capacity to maximize without reducing our capability to innovate. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most synergistic, revolutionary web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. We will aggregate the capacity of TQM metrics to target. The aggregation factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? Think web-enabled. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be customer-directed? Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Immediately? A company that can morph elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to reintermediate. Without meticulously-planned niches, solutions are forced to become granular. Think magnetic. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think nano-real-time. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! If you incentivize efficiently, you may have to transition vertically. What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. If you deploy extensibly, you may have to empower globally. men-in-white has revolutionized the conceptualization of performance. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to streamline vertically. Think viral. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be ubiquitous? What does the commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to deploy dynamically than to transition dynamically. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will streamline the term "client-focused". Think super-open-source. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. We will target the aptitude of relationships to transition. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to synthesize. Think efficient. Without sufficient action-items, synergies are forced to become 24/7.