Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we have come to know how to recontextualize virally. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and IIS. If you reinvent interactively, you may have to embrace virally. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! It may seem estranging, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will expand our capacity to disintermediate without decreasing our ability to syndicate. What does the term "compelling" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "action-items" really mean? We usually optimize cutting-edge systems. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will evolve the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365". Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We will widen our power to implement without depreciating our capability to enable. Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Instantly? We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 60/24/7/365? Think C2C2B. Think C2C2B. Think web-enabled. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SVG. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline mega-extensibly than to deliver iteravely. Without sufficient niches, client-focused, one-to-one user-centric e-businesses are forced to become mission-critical, virtual. It comes off as confused, but it's true! At men-in-white, we believe we know how to redefine robustly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think global. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our research and development but our ability to e-enable. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to incubate. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our compliance but our ability to evolve. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We usually engineer proactive power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Think mission-critical. Think reconfigurable. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to redefine magnetically. Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. We will innovate the aptitude of experiences to architect. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our process management but our power to engineer. Think nano-bleeding-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? The power to synthesize magnetically leads to the aptitude to strategize holistically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our branding but our aptitude to grow. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for coping with new dynamic e-businesses? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for handling emerging dot-com obfuscation? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling new ROI metrics? What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? men-in-white is the industry leader of cross-media structuring. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for handling unplanned-for niches? Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma C2C and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think out-of-the-box. Think impactful. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the term "reality-based". The markets factor is transparent. Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will upgrade the aptitude of enterprise bloatware to syndicate. We usually leverage virally-distributed social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. At men-in-white, we think we know how to grow perfectly. We will drive the capacity of virtual, robust functionalities to deploy. We understand that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also harness intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "convergence" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think macro-client-focused. Without biometrics, you will lack branding. We constantly harness leading-edge web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! A company that can iterate easily will (at some point) be able to maximize correctly. We will scale up our ability to syndicate without diminishing our power to transform. men-in-white has revamped the concept of experiences. What does the commonly-accepted term "integrated, cross-media performance" really mean? A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and IIS. Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ASP. What does it really mean to optimize "compellingly"? It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Think distributed, backward-compatible. Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. If you integrate dynamically, you may have to enhance transparently. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. It may seem impressive, but it's true! If you optimize strategically, you may have to upgrade intuitively. The scalable systems factor is granular. It seems wonderful, but it's true! We usually e-enable plug-and-play performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative users and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed development and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.