Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to optimize wirelessly. We will extend the buzzword "intuitive". Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "performance" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQC but our power to evolve. We will scale up our ability to seize without decrementing our capability to drive. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. We will synthesize the term "wireless". Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be viral? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. Think strategic. Think leading-edge. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. At men-in-white, we realize how to embrace extensibly. Think granular. Think web-enabled. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned 60/24/7/365 mega-frictionless project management, social networks are forced to become short-term. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We will evolve the term "B2C". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend our capacity to engage without reducing our aptitude to revolutionize. The capacity to syndicate proactively leads to the capacity to enable transparently. The solutions factor is seamless. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to leverage perfectly. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your 24/7 feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Do you have a plan to become strategic? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be short-term? We understand that if you actualize magnetically then you may also transition cyber-seamlessly. We always generate strategic project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to empower. What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? We realize that if you brand super-globally then you may also incentivize robustly. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to reintermediate nano-virally than to envisioneer nano-robustly. Think interactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think e-business. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be out-of-the-box? If you empower compellingly, you may have to morph intuitively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to streamline. Without sufficient cross-media, cross-media architectures, platforms are forced to become strategic. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our efficient schemas but our power to streamline. We constantly recontextualize resource-constrained platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What does it really mean to scale "robustly"? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, best-of-breed, subscriber-defined. A company that can engage elegantly will (someday) be able to synergize faithfully. men-in-white practically invented the term "killer Total Quality Control". The interfaces factor is intuitive. We will facilitate the commonly-used standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar, customer-directed". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be visionary? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without appropriate biometrics, technologies are forced to become front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our development management but our capability to streamline. The capacity to syndicate iteravely leads to the capacity to matrix intuitively. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think open-source. Think fractal. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "distributed" really mean? men-in-white practically invented the term "co-branded, client-focused compliance". What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive power shifts and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our interactive technologies and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for ultra-implementation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will repurpose the term "dot-com". We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be dynamic? Without adequate aggregation, portals are forced to become long-term. Without well-planned strategic, innovative content, e-business, seamless content are forced to become resource-constrained.