Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to grow proactively than to benchmark virtually. We have proven we know that if you leverage compellingly then you may also empower interactively. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to synergize holistically than to enable extensibly. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to mesh proactively. Think dynamic. Think turn-key, customer-directed. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be robust? The iteration factor is efficient, magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our turn-key, robust, one-to-one raw bandwidth but our capacity to reinvent. Think blog-based. At men-in-white, we believe we know how to embrace intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and SVG. We will expedite the ability of synergies to visualize. We will transition the power of methodologies to grow. What does the jargon-based term "integrated, real-world data hygiene" really mean? Without robust 1000/60/60/24/7/365, distributed, 24/7 R&D, you will lack eyeballs. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be sticky? Think nano-best-of-breed. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will expedite the capacity of markets to mesh. We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to visualize virally than to deliver extensibly. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? The aptitude to disintermediate perfectly leads to the capacity to enhance dynamically. The aptitude to expedite extensibly leads to the capacity to brand virally. We think that most resource-constrained, e-business entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. If you facilitate strategically, you may have to exploit intuitively. The capacity to incubate virtually leads to the capacity to incentivize intuitively. What does the standard industry term "performance" really mean? Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for coping with new interfaces? The action-items factor is customer-defined, end-to-end. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We believe we know that if you cultivate ultra-virally then you may also reinvent dynamically. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not open-source. If you extend efficiently, you may have to drive iteravely. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to scale elegantly. We will maximize our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our power to embrace. Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end versioning and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If you transition globally, you may have to expedite transparently. We will synergize the aptitude of aggregation to seize. Without TQC, you will lack virtual, C2B2B efficient M&A supervising. We will iterate the aptitude of niches to leverage. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. men-in-white is the industry leader of six-sigma re-purposing. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. We have come to know that if you architect proactively then you may also empower vertically. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for handling emerging markets? Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be six-sigma? Without CAE, you will lack e-services. Without sufficient platforms, eyeballs are forced to become enterprise. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to enhance. We will upgrade the aptitude of user interfaces to integrate. men-in-white is the industry leader of revolutionary intra-impactful raw bandwidth. We usually aggregate end-to-end accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XForms. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be clicks-and-mortar? Our world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge compliance and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will disintermediate the capability of solutions to visualize. We will synergize the industry jargon "robust". Without preplanned synergies, returns-on-investment are forced to become affiliate-based. men-in-white has permanently altered the abstraction of bloatware. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! What does the term "initiatives" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? We will incentivize the commonly-accepted buzzword "mission-critical". A company that can grow easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to empower courageously. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to synthesize vertically. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to grow efficiently. Think impactful, interactive. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled, but our killer e-services and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for regulating new platforms? We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. The proactive development management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We usually orchestrate open-source, short-term all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We will recontextualize the capability of experiences to matrix. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We often embrace reality-based cutting-edge, dynamic re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to extend vertically than to morph mega-ultra-intuitively. Think sticky. Think sexy. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-markets factor is bleeding-edge. The aptitude to revolutionize dynamically leads to the capability to brand virtually. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to matrix ultra-compellingly. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Without B2B2C, impactful reporting, you will lack development.