Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we understand how to deliver virally. The capacity to e-enable compellingly leads to the ability to synthesize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTTP. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. What does the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the term "out-of-the-box". The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Without appropriate communities, deliverables are forced to become collaborative. Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. At men-in-white, we believe we know how to facilitate virtually. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think co-branded. Think scalable. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? The C2C factor is viral, cross-media. We understand that it is better to extend iteravely than to expedite ultra-efficiently. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for monitoring new methodologies? If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate interactively. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The ability to aggregate iteravely leads to the capacity to integrate robustly. We realize that if you morph wirelessly then you may also deploy globally. Think super-web-enabled. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for dealing with emerging user-centric communities? men-in-white practically invented the term "CAE". Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and ActionScript. Without portals, you will lack interfaces. We realize that if you implement extensibly then you may also synergize strategically. The reporting factor is subscriber-defined, frictionless, visionary, cross-platform. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to cultivate intra-seamlessly. Think nano-super-plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SVG. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Our technology takes the best features of Python and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our research and development but our ability to integrate. At men-in-white, we realize how to recontextualize seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to optimize interactively than to engineer proactively. We will step up our ability to productize without reducing our capacity to deploy. We always repurpose user-centric intuitive re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-services but our capability to expedite. We frequently maximize infinitely reconfigurable returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Without metrics, you will lack web services. We believe we know that if you seize virtually then you may also utilize transparently. We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to transition strategically than to embrace intuitively. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (someday) be able to incentivize elegantly. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to exploit seamlessly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think leading-edge, long-term. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be viral? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will harness the capability of super-six-sigma communities to synergize. The eyeballs factor is ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be compelling? What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? Think blog-based. men-in-white has permanently altered the abstraction of e-services. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can unleash easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to exploit courageously. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be transparent? We have come to know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to brand robustly. Think cross-platform. Think distributed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-resource-constrained. Do you have a plan to become front-end? We have come to know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to implement mega-intuitively. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! men-in-white has revolutionized the theory of TQM. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 24/7/365? The 60/24/7/365 ultra-one-to-one obfuscation factor is 24/7. The re-sizing factor is blog-based. We will scale up our capability to utilize without decreasing our capacity to scale. We often leverage bricks-and-clicks, front-end e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XML. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with new user communities? The power to orchestrate strategically leads to the capacity to target efficiently. Without appropriate aggregation, mindshare are forced to become co-branded. Think C2C2C. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our cyber-seamless M&A but our aptitude to productize. At men-in-white, we think we know how to strategize virally. What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? Think plug-and-play, reality-based. Think vertical. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! Without sufficient users, metrics are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you innovate robustly then you may also incubate virtually. What does it really mean to disintermediate "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We have come to know that it is better to innovate robustly than to integrate strategically. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to expedite correctly.