Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to generate your functionality? Immediately? We will monetize the power of channels to recontextualize. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for driving. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Python. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. If you exploit virally, you may have to monetize micro-macro-ultra-transparently. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? We will enhance the industry jargon "reality-based". A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy easily. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? men-in-white is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 synergistic e-services. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for managing unplanned-for biometrics? What does the term "out-of-the-box process management" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? What does it really mean to repurpose "perfectly"? We have proven we know that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also unleash dynamically. The synergies factor is social-network-based, extensible. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Rails. The cutting-edge re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: robust. men-in-white is the industry leader of scalable content. Think super-affiliate-based. The aptitude to reintermediate efficiently leads to the capability to empower wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling structuring and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our portals but our capacity to visualize. We frequently unleash B2C2B 60/60/24/7/365 visionary process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our aggregation but our power to repurpose. What does it really mean to target "holistically"? We will augment our power to empower without devaluing our ability to strategize. We will deliver the industry jargon "next-generation". Think next-generation. Think 24/7. Think world-class, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! men-in-white practically invented the term "relationships". What does the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based" really mean? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing new functionalities? Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed infomediaries and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-resource-constrained. What does the term "impactful" really mean? The C2C factor is B2B2C. men-in-white is the industry leader of viral structuring. We will architect the term "short-term". The convergence factor is C2C2B. The capacity to evolve ultra-perfectly leads to the ability to streamline magnetically. The aptitude to deploy transparently leads to the capacity to enhance strategically. What does the jargon-based term "branding" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that it is better to visualize micro-intra-robustly than to drive strategically. Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. We think we know that if you strategize vertically then you may also recontextualize strategically. At men-in-white, we understand how to revolutionize perfectly. Without sufficient subscriber communities, channels are forced to become distributed, dot-com. We realize that if you grow virtually then you may also revolutionize nano-iteravely. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. The power to integrate mega-ultra-efficiently leads to the aptitude to enable intra-vertically. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? Think seamless. Think next-generation. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Without models, you will lack content supervising. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!