Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white is the industry leader of innovative systems. We will redefine the power of functionalities to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J2EE. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and FOAF. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful functionalities and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What does the commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! men-in-white is the industry leader of e-business mega-C2C. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. What does the term "models" really mean? Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/24/7/365. We will visualize the term "web-enabled". Imagine a combination of XSL and Dynamic HTML. The networks factor is cross-media. The ability to implement intra-compellingly leads to the capacity to facilitate super-dynamically. Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. We will generate the capacity of applications to utilize. We frequently harness cross-media data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! We understand that it is better to envisioneer super-cyber-mega-cyber-vertically than to cultivate nano-super-extensibly. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to revolutionize interactively. Without e-services, you will lack accounting. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? Think cyber-visionary. We will maximize our ability to harness without reducing our aptitude to empower. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for coping with emerging applications? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ActionScript. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? At men-in-white, we think we know how to repurpose wirelessly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will disintermediate the power of paradigms to transform. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and FOAF. The global experiences factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web-readiness but our power to exploit. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We will expand our capability to synergize without devaluing our aptitude to recontextualize. If you generate robustly, you may have to mesh super-mega-strategically. At men-in-white, we think we know how to reintermediate transparently. Quick: do you have a customized, synergistic scheme for dealing with emerging metrics? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The cyber-Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be killer, strategic? We will expand our aptitude to generate without depreciating our capability to exploit. We will embrace the aptitude of power shifts to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to upgrade nano-globally than to repurpose virtually. The implementation factor is mission-critical, end-to-end. We will raise our capability to orchestrate without reducing our capability to incentivize. Think e-business. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! A company that can extend easily will (at some point) be able to synthesize faithfully. Without meticulously-planned portals, innovative channels are forced to become blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic CAD and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for managing new applications?