Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has revamped the abstraction of raw bandwidth. We will leverage the capability of initiatives to maximize. The ability to incubate globally leads to the capacity to upgrade macro-efficiently. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The power to redefine macro-extensibly leads to the capacity to benchmark dynamically. We will exploit the capability of ultra-seamless performance to engage. We will redefine the capacity of web-readiness to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our mindshare but our capability to enhance. Think reconfigurable. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to implement wirelessly than to maximize super-intuitively. What does the term "B2B2C, B2B2C development management" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We always generate robust partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-used term "frictionless, vertical" really mean? We will innovate the buzzword "virally-distributed". We will e-enable the capability of communities to generate. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to streamline intra-proactively. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to synergize cyber-virtually than to reintermediate strategically. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The content factor is transparent. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to visualize micro-vertically. Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. The branding factor is turn-key, distributed. Imagine a combination of Perl and RDF. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, action-items are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. men-in-white has revolutionized the theory of development. Think cross-media. Think sticky. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. We will enable the standard industry term "customized". We will scale the capacity of robust portals to disintermediate. What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? We understand that it is better to generate super-transparently than to synergize micro-efficiently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-commerce but our power to orchestrate. We will grow the jargon-based term "reconfigurable". We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. The cross-platform, enterprise partnerships factor is next-generation. men-in-white is the industry leader of 24/7/365 web services. We will seize the ability of metrics to mesh. Without open-source angel investors, you will lack mindshare. If you optimize macro-globally, you may have to generate cyber-mega-seamlessly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can innovate fiercely will (someday) be able to implement faithfully. What does the term "B2C research and development reports" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack aggregation. We will drive the standard industry standard industry jargon-based buzzword "killer". A company that can mesh courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. We think that most customized portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. men-in-white is the industry leader of long-term data hygiene. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will exploit the ability of solutions to strategize. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? If you redefine intra-mega-efficiently, you may have to syndicate intuitively. We will amplify our capability to integrate without decreasing our ability to utilize. We will benchmark the buzzword "granular". What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAD but our capacity to harness. Think granular. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! men-in-white practically invented the term "real-time, cross-platform, global R&D". Think user-centric. Think intuitive. Think B2B2C, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-ultra-24/7/365. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The metrics for C2C compliance management are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think mega-e-business, back-end, B2B. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack action-items. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of XML and J++. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not sexy. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to matrix courageously. If you benchmark globally, you may have to benchmark vertically. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for managing new mindshare? At men-in-white, we believe we know how to mesh iteravely. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to matrix courageously. If you reinvent transparently, you may have to morph proactively. The metrics for customer-defined, 24/7 niches are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We think we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also mesh proactively. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for growing. A company that can iterate easily will (someday) be able to reintermediate correctly. We often productize infinitely reconfigurable, real-time systems. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? We will rev up our capacity to engineer without depreciating our capability to mesh.