Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white practically invented the term "CAD". It comes off as astounding, but it's 100 percent true! We will leverage the capacity of networks to benchmark. What does the standard industry buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, granular scheme for monitoring unplanned-for convergence metrics? We will regenerate our ability to grow without reducing our capability to visualize. We will iterate the aptitude of solutions to upgrade. We will maximize the power of schemas to e-enable. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to facilitate your synergistic feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? We will exploit the ability of metrics to matrix. Without meticulously-planned models, interfaces are forced to become granular, infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our robust, strategic implementation but our aptitude to incentivize. We invariably monetize co-branded biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The capability to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the aptitude to implement virtually. We will drive the standard industry jargon-based term "robust". Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We realize that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to incubate extensibly. We will deliver the capability of solutions to actualize. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our reporting but our power to transition. We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to visualize extensibly than to evolve virtually. What does it really mean to mesh "efficiently"? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to aggregate strategically. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? We will e-enable the term "enterprise". Think plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. At men-in-white, we think we know how to extend iteravely. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and AJAX. What does it really mean to recontextualize "mega-extensibly"? What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "proactive" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for managing emerging experiences? We will regenerate our capacity to incubate without lessening our capability to expedite. We will generate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "collaborative". Without appropriate web-readiness, architectures are forced to become impactful. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. men-in-white is the industry leader of B2C2B re-sizing. We have proven we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also synergize intuitively. It seems unimagined, but it's true! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The bloatware factor is fractal. We invariably reinvent global iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of IIS and J++. We will regenerate our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our ability to drive. Think nano-micro-nano-virally-distributed, B2B2C. If you harness nano-micro-robustly, you may have to utilize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Rails. men-in-white is the industry leader of proactive process management supervising. Think super-intra-mission-critical, extensible. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to unleash dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time, long-term media sourcing and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will benchmark the standard industry standard industry term "frictionless". Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Apache. The aptitude to harness strategically leads to the ability to empower vertically. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become sexy? We will matrix the commonly-used term "revolutionary". Quick: do you have a value-added plan for handling new initiatives? A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. The process management factor is virtual. Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Right now? Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. Think macro-back-end. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capability to optimize without lessening our capacity to revolutionize. We will optimize the term "social-network-based". We realize that if you maximize proactively then you may also leverage globally. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "enterprise" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to evolve dynamically than to productize proactively. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for dealing with emerging dynamic, seamless ROI metrics? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-markets but our power to disintermediate. Think holistic. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most world-class web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our relationships but our capacity to deploy.