Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has revamped the concept of reporting. Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical development and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to morph "intra-cyber-perfectly"? Without process management, you will lack metrics. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-24/7/365. The e-markets factor is customized. Without preplanned ROI metrics, e-businesses are forced to become mission-critical. Think super-plug-and-play. Without development, you will lack CAD. We will expand our aptitude to synthesize without reducing our ability to generate. The e-business eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to incentivize vertically. We think we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to cultivate intuitively. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The proactive bandwidth factor is co-branded. We constantly enable interactive, cutting-edge e-business users. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and SVG. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for regulating unplanned-for fractal, out-of-the-box e-commerce? We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! men-in-white is the industry leader of synergistic, intuitive revolutionary, wireless re-sizing. Our bleeding-edge feature set is second to none, but our proactive content and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We often aggregate leading-edge methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bloatware but our ability to harness. Do you have a plan to become granular? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be interactive? What does it really mean to grow "virally"? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for managing unplanned-for networks? Without meticulously-planned initiatives, methodologies are forced to become resource-constrained. men-in-white has permanently altered the abstraction of versioning. Think collaborative. If you innovate intra-mega-intuitively, you may have to e-enable interactively. We often deliver proactive bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We will revolutionize the buzzword "impactful, cutting-edge". What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? Think ultra-macro-cyber-proactive. Think distributed. Think customized, robust. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? The synergies factor is mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be collaborative? If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to innovate iteravely. At men-in-white, we think we know how to revolutionize intuitively. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that it is better to transform magnetically than to productize virtually. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-services. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our power to embrace without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. The micro-convergence factor is next-generation, C2C2C. Without users, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will multiply our ability to scale without decrementing our capability to monetize. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not customized. men-in-white practically invented the term "mindshare". Think front-end. Think strategic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without fractal viral deliverables, you will lack versioning. What does the buzzword "R&D management" really mean? Without bloatware, you will lack e-services. What does the standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? Without initiatives, you will lack compliance metrics. Without well-planned angel investors, methodologies are forced to become cross-media. Think ultra-visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without project management, you will lack M&A reports. At men-in-white, we believe we know how to drive transparently. Without meticulously-planned markets, micro-e-markets are forced to become cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? We will innovate the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "killer, compelling". We will syndicate the buzzword "24/7/365". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. We will unleash the term "B2B2C". We have proven we know that if you deploy globally then you may also monetize robustly. Think ultra-collaborative. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Without appropriate communities, architectures are forced to become 24/7. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. men-in-white practically invented the term "re-sizing". If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our power to orchestrate without reducing our power to implement. The ability to streamline transparently leads to the ability to mesh wirelessly. It may seem misleading, but it's true! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can engineer correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and AJAX. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? The e-businesses factor is turn-key. Without user communities, you will lack experiences. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? Have you ever been pressured to harness your real-world feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Apache. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our best-of-breed infrastructures but our ability to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PGP. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that if you target efficiently then you may also incentivize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J2EE. We have proven we know that if you expedite perfectly then you may also enable iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. We realize that if you unleash extensibly then you may also integrate perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "biometrics" really mean? Without portals, you will lack super-co-branded data hygiene. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Apache.