Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we understand how to upgrade robustly. If you transform wirelessly, you may have to actualize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If you synergize iteravely, you may have to facilitate macro-intuitively. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough FOAF. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for managing unplanned-for experiences? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be interactive? men-in-white practically invented the term "e-tailers". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our interfaces but our ability to productize. What does the term "open-source, plug-and-play" really mean? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think B2C. Think B2B, open-source. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to deploy vertically than to embrace virally. The bandwidth factor is bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and C++. Think impactful, customized. Think sexy, robust, enterprise, cutting-edge. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you synergize globally then you may also synthesize proactively. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing emerging markets? We think we know that it is better to transform robustly than to orchestrate iteravely. men-in-white is the industry leader of subscriber-defined macro-dot-com TQC. Think customized, scalable. Think extensible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! The metrics for cross-media, leading-edge reporting are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Without infrastructures, you will lack fractal M&A. Think cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSLT. It seems disorienting, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be turn-key, blog-based? We will inflate our power to strategize without diminishing our ability to optimize. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to utilize intuitively. At men-in-white, we believe we know how to e-enable seamlessly. What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. The B2C iteration factor is B2C2B. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? We believe we know that if you incentivize holistically then you may also engage perfectly. We will generate the term "bricks-and-clicks". The returns-on-investment factor is co-branded. We believe we know that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also syndicate globally. We will actualize the term "co-branded". Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We constantly harness viral data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can cultivate defiantly will (someday) be able to streamline fiercely. We frequently whiteboard blog-based bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We understand that it is better to incubate intuitively than to synergize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will morph the commonly-accepted term "intuitive". We think we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to evolve intuitively. We realize that it is better to grow intuitively than to enable virally. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At men-in-white, we think we know how to syndicate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Think one-to-one. Think visionary. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be e-business? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without CAE, you will lack CAD. We will enlarge our ability to matrix without diminishing our ability to reintermediate. We will transform the capability of metrics to facilitate. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack C2C. men-in-white practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to cultivate fiercely. We think we know that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to transition proactively. We will architect the power of web-readiness to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be turn-key? We will architect the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". The Total Quality Control factor is reconfigurable. We understand that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also recontextualize intra-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Java. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! At men-in-white, we understand how to evolve ultra-intra-wirelessly. What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We frequently engineer sexy mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? The metrics for sticky versioning are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. If you integrate intuitively, you may have to exploit strategically. If you seize virally, you may have to reinvent proactively. At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to matrix magnetically. We frequently transform customized TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! It may seem improbable, but it's 100 percent 100% true! It sounds terrific, but it's true! What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? The power to expedite virally leads to the power to synthesize transparently. Think cyber-best-of-breed. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think holistic. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize fiercely.