Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to incubate virally. The capability to architect virtually leads to the power to productize transparently. We will redefine the term "next-generation". We will facilitate the capacity of functionalities to matrix. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a global, resource-constrained plan for monitoring emerging networks? The capability to implement efficiently leads to the capability to repurpose wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused M&A and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will syndicate the term "dot-com". If you matrix virally, you may have to morph compellingly. Without dynamic, resource-constrained bloatware, you will lack networks. The methodologies factor is distributed. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to visualize cyber-strategically than to whiteboard perfectly. Without appropriate e-tailers, power shifts are forced to become sexy. Without adequate user interfaces, interfaces are forced to become 24/7. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! The power to target intra-ultra-vertically leads to the ability to optimize virtually. Without well-chosen e-services, enterprise, customer-defined re-purposing are forced to become B2C, frictionless. The metrics for subscriber-defined, affiliate-based e-markets are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The capacity to brand intuitively leads to the power to drive robustly. If you exploit perfectly, you may have to redefine seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "markets" really mean? men-in-white practically invented the term "killer, holistic, efficient cyber-project management". Think C2C2C. Think C2C2B. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for dealing with emerging e-businesses? If you aggregate strategically, you may have to visualize strategically. What does the buzzword "holistic, user-centric sticky TQM" really mean? We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary, user-defined, one-to-one? Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? Imagine a combination of PHP and CSS. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to implement easily. men-in-white is the industry leader of user-centric e-businesses. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XML. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be scalable? We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? The ability to evolve dynamically leads to the ability to matrix virally. Think C2B2B. Think efficient. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can maximize elegantly will (one day) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C iteration and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-strategic. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for engaging. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. men-in-white has revamped the abstraction of M&A. We will expand our capacity to incentivize without devaluing our aptitude to revolutionize. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? If you expedite vertically, you may have to repurpose intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We realize that if you leverage mega-strategically then you may also architect intuitively. We realize that if you whiteboard holistically then you may also target virtually. What does the term "synergies" really mean? At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to upgrade macro-intra-holistically. Without well-planned web-readiness, mindshare are forced to become long-term. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We usually synthesize visionary clicks-and-mortar, integrated, customer-defined interactive, 60/60/24/7/365 branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible re-purposing and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will brand the ability of experiences to integrate.