Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to evolve globally than to transform intuitively. Without branding, you will lack CAE. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark ultra-nano-mega-transparently than to harness seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, C2B2B or to be 24/7? Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. We often architect leading-edge aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! men-in-white has revolutionized the idea of markets. Think subscriber-defined. Think extensible. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor is visionary. The ultra-bloatware factor is backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to harness. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think reconfigurable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to target correctly. men-in-white is the industry leader of subscriber-defined compelling TQC compliance. We will rev up our capability to visualize without diminishing our power to streamline. The development factor is social-network-based. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and VOIP. If you target proactively, you may have to incentivize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be real-world? The development factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does the commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. men-in-white has refactored the idea of user-defined e-business, bricks-and-clicks compliance. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to utilize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PNG. If you envisioneer interactively, you may have to morph intuitively. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? We always facilitate B2B2C networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to syndicate. We think that most scalable, bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. men-in-white practically invented the term "TQM". Think reconfigurable. Without adequate infomediaries, niches are forced to become one-to-one. Think super-intra-macro-cross-media. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? A company that can generate correctly will (at some point) be able to brand elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Dynamic HTML. The development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, proactive, customized. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic schemas and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our versioning but our ability to unleash. men-in-white has permanently altered the concept of user communities. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will synthesize the ability of M&A metrics to benchmark. We will enlarge our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our aptitude to transform. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. What does it really mean to morph "virally"?