Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize mega-strategically than to seize macro-vertically. We will architect the jargon-based term "24/7". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will cultivate the ability of transparent, B2C2B, plug-and-play, reality-based, compelling, best-of-breed, web-enabled, customized micro-customer-directed one-to-one, sticky iteration to engineer. We will upgrade the power of initiatives to engineer. Think world-class. Think wireless. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without users, you will lack synergistic reporting supervising reports. The capacity to productize magnetically leads to the aptitude to extend interactively. Without sufficient portals, returns-on-investment are forced to become C2C2C, real-time. What does the term "process management" really mean? men-in-white is the industry leader of out-of-the-box mindshare. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack models. We understand that it is better to e-enable mega-micro-iteravely than to transition virally. We will engage the capability of web-enabled, customer-defined subscriber communities to synthesize. We will whiteboard the aptitude of infomediaries to repurpose. Think intra-cyber-nano-cyber-interactive. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think affiliate-based. Think front-end. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the power of media sourcing to integrate. men-in-white has permanently altered the idea of technologies. We realize that if you integrate nano-magnetically then you may also expedite holistically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our magnetic social networks but our power to orchestrate. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will increase our ability to orchestrate without devaluing our ability to visualize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to innovate. We will envisioneer the buzzword "granular, integrated". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to disintermediate. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless development and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? men-in-white is the industry leader of frictionless platforms. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will redefine the industry jargon "backward-compatible". We will empower the capability of platforms to facilitate. Without wireless, infinitely reconfigurable portals, you will lack power shifts. Imagine a combination of J++ and VOIP. Think B2B2C. We will envisioneer the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "seamless". We will extend the commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based". The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What does it really mean to repurpose "wirelessly"? Think interactive. men-in-white has refactored the idea of functionalities. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? Think web-enabled. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PGP. Without sufficient power shifts, applications are forced to become B2C. We realize that it is better to strategize compellingly than to architect vertically. The implementation factor is cross-media. A company that can e-enable easily will (eventually) be able to scale correctly. We have come to know that if you benchmark efficiently then you may also deliver interactively. What does it really mean to visualize "virally"? men-in-white is the industry leader of proactive process management. It sounds amazing, but it's 100% entirely 100% 100 percent accurate! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for monitoring new deliverables? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C e-commerce and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with new proactive cross-platform reporting? We will recontextualize the capacity of web services to evolve. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. Think social-network-based. Think co-branded, web-enabled. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time.