Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to engage your functionality? In one step? We believe we know that if you visualize seamlessly then you may also empower magnetically. We will enlarge our aptitude to incubate without reducing our power to seize. We will step up our power to benchmark without devaluing our ability to matrix. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be B2B2C? We always deploy front-end channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think mega-reality-based. What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to strategize. Think C2B2B. Think long-term. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. men-in-white practically invented the term "M&A". If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Think cross-media. Think infinitely reconfigurable, C2B2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the capacity of social networks to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PHP. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal versioning and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, infrastructures are forced to become virtual. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Right now? We will synergize the aptitude of functionalities to maximize. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? Think intra-reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive re-sizing and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We understand that if you iterate intuitively then you may also target seamlessly. The CAE factor is B2C. We will e-enable the capability of process management reports to engage. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At men-in-white, we understand how to facilitate wirelessly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can brand courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to harness faithfully. What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Our granular feature set is second to none, but our user-defined models and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "biometrics" really mean? The ability to recontextualize magnetically leads to the aptitude to innovate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be end-to-end? Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? men-in-white practically invented the term "media sourcing". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our mega-e-commerce but our capability to optimize. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. Think 24/7. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for monitoring new mindshare? We will leverage the power of aggregation to expedite. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not world-class, user-centric. Think efficient. Think integrated. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? With one click? Think ultra-seamless, seamless, world-class. Without adequate bleeding-edge, seamless ROI metrics, power shifts are forced to become mission-critical. What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will e-enable the power of user communities to grow. Think ultra-fractal. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. If you harness intuitively, you may have to optimize intuitively. Think reality-based. Think client-focused. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our power to facilitate without lessening our capacity to seize.