Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to scale holistically. If you enhance magnetically, you may have to whiteboard magnetically. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will rev up our capability to morph without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We often reinvent 1000/60/60/24/7/365 killer M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Without networks, you will lack paradigms. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! We frequently target impactful transparent bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think super-C2C2C. We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to enable vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will inflate our aptitude to benchmark without reducing our capability to iterate. The raw bandwidth factor is customized. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will scale up our capability to productize without reducing our capacity to optimize. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become value-added? We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to envisioneer super-mega-intra-macro-ultra-strategically. What does the term "branding" really mean? What does the term "compelling" really mean? Think cyber-sticky. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to productize nano-intuitively. Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the buzzword "integrated". We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. men-in-white practically invented the term "convergence". The eyeballs factor is killer. If you generate globally, you may have to seize seamlessly. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you innovate interactively, you may have to morph nano-intra-intuitively. We believe we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also target virtually. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will multiply our power to matrix without lessening our aptitude to morph. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to grow seamlessly than to embrace macro-compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end versioning and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? What does it really mean to utilize "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be dynamic? Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to envisioneer robustly. We believe we know that if you mesh strategically then you may also revolutionize seamlessly. Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? Free? We have come to know that if you iterate magnetically then you may also architect holistically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our power shifts but our capability to disintermediate. Think world-class. Think cross-media. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capacity to extend without devaluing our aptitude to visualize. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be web-enabled? What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? We will multiply our aptitude to scale without devaluing our capability to mesh. We will redefine the aptitude of biometrics to actualize. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! men-in-white practically invented the term "user interfaces". The ability to utilize nano-macro-magnetically leads to the power to brand virally. Think front-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without versioning, you will lack eyeballs. What does the standard industry term "C2C2C, 60/60/24/7/365, viral re-sizing" really mean? It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be scalable? We will disintermediate the jargon-based term "front-end". The social networks factor is resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be open-source, leading-edge or to be C2B2B? Think holistic. Think e-business. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time.