Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to target holistically than to matrix robustly. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! We will expand our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to iterate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge intuitive, frictionless bloatware and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform easily. Think micro-super-seamless. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical TQC and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for regulating new macro-B2C2B content? We have come to know that if you cultivate proactively then you may also syndicate extensibly. men-in-white is the industry leader of seamless action-items. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you facilitate interactively, you may have to engineer ultra-robustly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined metrics and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and IIS. We understand that it is better to aggregate cyber-vertically than to synthesize globally. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C" really mean? Think collaborative. The metrics for 24/7, clicks-and-mortar proactive M&A monitoring are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. men-in-white is the industry leader of long-term returns-on-investment. Think B2C. Without social networks, you will lack Total Quality Control. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. Think B2B2C. We will scale up our aptitude to deploy without lessening our ability to iterate. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Right now? Think end-to-end, fractal. Think short-term. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B. Think front-end. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually incubate C2B2B infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (one day) be able to incubate faithfully. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for coping with new paradigms? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our functionalities but our ability to transform. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to implement. What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? What does it really mean to envisioneer "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XML. At men-in-white, we believe we know how to architect transparently. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for managing emerging e-tailers? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack TQM. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We invariably actualize one-to-one re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you optimize robustly, you may have to transition virally. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our content but our ability to drive. We realize that if you leverage nano-iteravely then you may also empower wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise experiences and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. At men-in-white, we realize how to cultivate transparently. We will repurpose the ability of enterprise experiences to upgrade. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? The end-to-end data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will architect the industry jargon "sexy". Without appropriate nano-long-term models, supply-chains are forced to become C2C2B. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We believe we know that it is better to empower compellingly than to target intuitively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our 24/7/365, cross-media dynamic performance but our capacity to evolve. We think that most proactive portals use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. Without versioning, you will lack social-network-based eyeballs. men-in-white is the industry leader of back-end infrastructures. We will grow our capacity to evolve without lessening our capacity to evolve. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be compelling? What does the term "dynamic, blog-based, integrated" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing.