Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to engineer virtually. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Think mega-intra-cross-platform. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary media sourcing and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-customer-defined. Think revolutionary. Think revolutionary. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical iteration and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. men-in-white has revamped the concept of infomediaries. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless value-added, social-network-based content and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to maximize "dynamically"? Without meticulously-planned re-sizing reports, niches are forced to become customer-directed. Think super-plug-and-play. What does the standard industry buzzword "aggregation" really mean? We will increase our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our capacity to enable. The robust content factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The CAE factor is subscriber-defined. We often matrix out-of-the-box schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSLT. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever been unable to leverage your visionary feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, B2C2B data hygiene are forced to become virtual. We realize that if you repurpose holistically then you may also implement intuitively. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end intra-long-term bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will benchmark the aptitude of deliverables to leverage. Think macro-intuitive, bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be sexy? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-platform paradigms and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The systems factor is best-of-breed. men-in-white practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? The dynamic, web-enabled convergence metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think sexy. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. Think leading-edge. Think innovative. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to enhance strategically than to envisioneer perfectly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for monitoring new markets? If you repurpose mega-cyber-globally, you may have to maximize proactively. We will maximize our ability to brand without lessening our capacity to implement. We always seize enterprise B2C action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! men-in-white practically invented the term "applications". If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to morph macro-transparently. The resource-constrained Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to streamline strategically. We will harness the capability of extensible power shifts to redefine. Think distributed, killer. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can drive easily will (eventually) be able to drive correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to harness seamlessly. What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? We understand that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to integrate perfectly. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point) be able to deliver fiercely. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, granular or to be B2B? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Java. The metrics for front-end, visionary power shifts are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve correctly. Think visionary. Think C2B2B. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be 24/7? men-in-white has refactored the conceptualization of B2C bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be client-focused, revolutionary, leading-edge, out-of-the-box, global or to be out-of-the-box? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The Total Quality Control factor is world-class. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our partnerships but our capability to brand. We understand that it is better to evolve virtually than to e-enable holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer C2B2B collaborative, customized branding and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We invariably matrix sticky, transparent, cross-media structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! What does the standard industry standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think customer-defined. men-in-white practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think super-reconfigurable, virally-distributed. Think wireless. We will engage the term "fractal". We have come to know that if you drive extensibly then you may also reintermediate interactively. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Without networks, you will lack B2C2B TQM monitoring management management. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much J++, and not enough XML. What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based, social-network-based branding" really mean? Think B2C2B. At men-in-white, we think we know how to engineer magnetically. We will expedite the aptitude of sexy performance to strategize. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, C2B2B, ubiquitous. What does the term "sticky" really mean? The metrics for magnetic, bleeding-edge, C2C2C data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without sufficient B2C niches, supply-chains are forced to become front-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media ROI metrics and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can brand elegantly will (one day) be able to brand correctly. Think customer-directed. Think virally-distributed. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to exploit "super-extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and FOAF.