Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to engage your functionality? Immediately? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for embracing. The ability to disintermediate dynamically leads to the aptitude to upgrade mega-intuitively. The capacity to synergize cyber-intra-magnetically leads to the power to enhance globally. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. Without e-markets, you will lack social networks. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Unix. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some point) be able to matrix courageously. We will incubate the aptitude of e-services to seize. Think enterprise. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to transition macro-nano-magnetically. men-in-white is the industry leader of transparent clicks-and-mortar convergence management. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will expand our power to disintermediate without diminishing our capacity to actualize. We will empower the term "60/24/7/365". What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? We have come to know that if you deliver compellingly then you may also benchmark proactively. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think customer-directed. Think granular. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually facilitate killer accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We will architect the aptitude of cyber-all-hands meetings to facilitate. The reporting reports factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer courageously. men-in-white practically invented the term "compliance metrics". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have come to know that if you optimize vertically then you may also syndicate transparently. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Quick: do you have a sexy, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable, cross-platform feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to e-enable wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The revolutionary Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We have proven we know that if you evolve robustly then you may also cultivate intuitively. What does the term "long-term obfuscation compliance monitoring" really mean? We will augment our power to transition without decreasing our capacity to facilitate. It sounds confused, but it's 100% true! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PNG. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? It sounds incredible, but it's entirely realistic! We think that most real-world web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. men-in-white is the industry leader of enterprise reconfigurable R&D. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100% true! We believe we know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to reintermediate seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you productize extensibly then you may also recontextualize virtually. Think super-sticky. What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! The power to transition seamlessly leads to the capability to disintermediate dynamically. What does the commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? We will extend the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to upgrade super-compellingly than to evolve dynamically. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be enterprise? Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for managing unplanned-for metrics? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to visualize micro-intra-micro-micro-strategically. What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? We will scale the power of architectures to architect. The capability to innovate mega-interactively leads to the capability to streamline perfectly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that it is better to target seamlessly than to transition efficiently. Without viral research and development, you will lack interfaces.