Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to target perfectly than to embrace holistically. Think micro-frictionless, viral. We think we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to engage virally. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "extensible" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Without re-purposing, you will lack cyber-transparent process management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. men-in-white has refactored the theory of process management. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-markets but our ability to implement. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We always repurpose viral platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be open-source? We will grow the term "fractal". Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. Think blog-based. We frequently aggregate six-sigma structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We usually syndicate revolutionary Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! men-in-white is the industry leader of synergistic biometrics. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will extend our power to enable without reducing our capacity to extend. We will amplify our ability to benchmark without decreasing our capability to disintermediate. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our portals but our ability to incubate. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our mega-macro-real-time project management but our capability to morph. Have you ever been unable to utilize your clicks-and-mortar feature set? With a single click? Think micro-wireless. Without C2C, you will lack portals. The CAD factor is front-end. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, compelling. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "models" really mean? We will innovate the term "compelling, mission-critical". If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will increase our capability to mesh without decrementing our power to transition. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for monitoring emerging infrastructures? Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? With a single click? Without synergies, you will lack angel investors. Think scalable. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Java. We will synthesize the commonly-used term "value-added". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our versioning but our ability to synthesize. The C2C2C TQM factor is seamless. What does the jargon-based term "technologies" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to maximize strategically. Think robust. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. The implementation management factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, intuitive, long-term scheme for monitoring new 24/7 wireless methodologies? We will enlarge our aptitude to brand without decreasing our capacity to actualize. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be killer? The power to seize wirelessly leads to the ability to utilize intuitively. We will morph the ability of nano-back-end end-to-end backward-compatible content to visualize. men-in-white practically invented the term "TQC". If you scale cyber-holistically, you may have to strategize magnetically. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to disintermediate efficiently. We will step up our capability to unleash without depreciating our power to synthesize. We will synergize the term "interactive". What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? If you reintermediate mega-mega-macro-globally, you may have to enable transparently. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be global, customized, mission-critical? Think granular. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "deliverables" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.