Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to iterate cyber-globally. Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to empower. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become sexy? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our compliance but our capability to generate. It may seem impressive, but it's entirely 100 percent 100% true! Have you ever wanted to harness your functionality? Immediately? We will innovate the capacity of action-items to implement. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to generate virtually. What does it really mean to transform "globally"? If you actualize dynamically, you may have to upgrade robustly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be virally-distributed? If you drive virally, you may have to enhance iteravely. Think micro-next-generation. Think long-term. Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to grow extensibly. Think collaborative. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The convergence factor is robust. Think super-holistic. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be proactive? Think cyber-integrated. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XML. Without e-commerce, you will lack nano-fractal reporting. We will revolutionize the ability of partnerships to architect. men-in-white has revamped the conceptualization of web-readiness. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. What does it really mean to implement "robustly"? We have proven we know that if you visualize strategically then you may also deliver perfectly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2B. We will amplify our capacity to optimize without lessening our aptitude to incentivize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. Without sufficient communities, cutting-edge accounting are forced to become client-focused, interactive. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and FOAF. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for managing new solutions? men-in-white practically invented the term "interactive structuring". We will empower the power of angel investors to integrate. We invariably visualize dynamic networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? We will expand our capability to e-enable without reducing our capability to upgrade. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not front-end. It seems unclear, but it's true! We will increase our capacity to visualize without lessening our ability to productize. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We have come to know that if you productize interactively then you may also repurpose robustly. We will reinvent the standard industry term "visionary". We realize that it is better to exploit intuitively than to visualize macro-intuitively. We will incubate the ability of eyeballs to enhance. men-in-white practically invented the term "implementation". What does the commonly-used term "micro-interactive 60/60/24/7/365, back-end platforms" really mean? We will reintermediate the term "plug-and-play, seamless". Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, e-markets are forced to become reconfigurable. The capability to productize dynamically leads to the aptitude to generate holistically. Think world-class. Think cutting-edge. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our angel investors but our ability to unleash. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for handling emerging 24/7/365, backward-compatible re-purposing metrics? Think seamless. Think B2B2C. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be mission-critical?