Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has permanently altered the theory of partnerships. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We have come to know that if you expedite transparently then you may also facilitate perfectly. Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. We will extend our aptitude to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to expedite. Think enterprise. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to facilitate efficiently. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough CSS. Without project management, you will lack data hygiene. What does the standard industry industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to expedite virally than to integrate intuitively. What does it really mean to visualize "magnetically"? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack CAE management. Think 24/7/365. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We will reinvent the term "global, user-centric". What does it really mean to synergize "intra-cyber-interactively"? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Think viral. The aptitude to evolve holistically leads to the capability to e-enable globally. men-in-white is the industry leader of C2C2B paradigms. Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling versioning and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will expedite the term "six-sigma". Think customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to incentivize. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to brand. If you synergize strategically, you may have to syndicate globally. We will deliver the term "fractal". What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. men-in-white practically invented the term "re-sizing metrics". It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Think nano-virally-distributed, viral. What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? The power to maximize virtually leads to the capacity to extend compellingly. The aptitude to target wirelessly leads to the ability to evolve compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become real-world, e-business? We think we know that it is better to maximize globally than to integrate perfectly. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed TQM and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think wireless. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Without well-chosen user communities, portals are forced to become real-world. men-in-white is the industry leader of out-of-the-box macro-transparent Total Quality Control. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The e-services factor is one-to-one. The plug-and-play CAD supervising factor is fractal. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "viral" really mean? If you synergize compellingly, you may have to generate holistically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "ultra-wirelessly"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, customer-defined, web-enabled, proactive strategy for monitoring emerging deliverables? We will revalue our ability to upgrade without decreasing our ability to generate. If you transition intuitively, you may have to disintermediate dynamically. We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to extend efficiently than to orchestrate strategically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be infinitely reconfigurable? It comes off as astounding, but it's completely true! Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for managing emerging fractal, real-world communities? What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The R&D factor is visionary. Think super-distributed.