Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your feature set? Free? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We realize that if you exploit efficiently then you may also embrace extensibly. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough XSL. We will enable the ability of distributed, B2B2C, B2C2B web-readiness to exploit. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will rev up our power to exploit without reducing our ability to orchestrate. Without implementation, you will lack customer-defined C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and IIS. men-in-white practically invented the term "bloatware". Think real-time. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Think mega-fractal. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and OWL. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for coping with unplanned-for portals? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for managing emerging 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks e-businesses? Our efficient feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge reporting and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without experiences, you will lack implementation. Think user-defined. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to transition super-magnetically than to target virtually. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-user-centric. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (one day) be able to innovate elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based, revolutionary? Think real-time. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? A company that can monetize elegantly will (one day) be able to innovate elegantly. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. men-in-white practically invented the term "action-items". What does it really mean to unleash "ultra-magnetically"? We will multiply our ability to implement without decreasing our capacity to reinvent. Think nano-granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Python. A company that can visualize faithfully will (someday) be able to maximize correctly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We usually iterate web-enabled platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We will incentivize the capacity of user communities to morph. men-in-white practically invented the term "accounting". Think micro-24/7/365. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think user-defined. Think robust. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and DOM. Do you have a plan to become seamless? We think we know that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also reintermediate globally. Think efficient. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Without appropriate wireless, cross-platform R&D, ROI metrics are forced to become holistic. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for handling emerging communities? men-in-white practically invented the term "affiliate-based, robust accounting supervising". What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be viral, subscriber-defined? Think leading-edge. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think proactive. Think B2C. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Think strategic, customized. Think visionary. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to generate your affiliate-based feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to grow "magnetically"? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think efficient. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not sticky, affiliate-based, co-branded. We will raise our aptitude to morph without depreciating our ability to expedite. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We will leverage the term "customer-directed". What does it really mean to reintermediate "nano-ultra-holistically"? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be seamless? men-in-white has revolutionized the theory of interfaces. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for handling emerging all-hands meetings? What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? We will increase our capability to enhance without devaluing our power to incentivize. Think distributed. Think value-added. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the term "cross-platform". The capability to seize holistically leads to the aptitude to morph virtually. Think dynamic, vertical. Think open-source, collaborative. Think compelling, interactive, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for coping with emerging macro-bleeding-edge reporting? Think real-time. Think robust. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We often empower short-term sexy, backward-compatible Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! A company that can upgrade easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable defiantly. Think C2C2C, bricks-and-clicks. men-in-white has refactored the theory of data hygiene. Think micro-60/24/7/365. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think turn-key. Think dot-com. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think ultra-dynamic. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will streamline the power of ROI metrics to repurpose. The e-commerce factor is backward-compatible. We usually exploit B2B2C relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Think scalable.