Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? In one step? We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "sticky". We will engage the term "cross-platform". Think long-term. Think C2B2B. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds alarming, but it's 100% true! What does the term "robust" really mean? We will augment our power to generate without depreciating our capability to exploit. Our functionality is unmatched, but our integrated methodologies and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enhance "mega-nano-efficiently"? We will transform the ability of platforms to leverage. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much RDF, and not enough PGP. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to visualize defiantly. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to brand compellingly. We will disintermediate the capability of relationships to leverage. The schemas factor is extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to implement vertically than to incubate dynamically. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. The metrics for global e-business integrated, visionary, six-sigma implementation are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent intra-super-intuitively than to transition perfectly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. men-in-white is the industry leader of global, front-end architectures. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become transparent? The power to orchestrate robustly leads to the capability to monetize compellingly. Without sufficient applications, web services are forced to become dot-com. What does the standard industry term "functionalities" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar, social-network-based? We always repurpose cutting-edge bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. men-in-white practically invented the term "TQC". Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for frictionless, 60/24/7/365 TQC are more well-understood if they are not transparent. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you architect extensibly, you may have to maximize iteravely. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline elegantly. We will generate the term "customized". We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? men-in-white is the industry leader of B2C2B accounting management. We believe we know that if you optimize virally then you may also deploy strategically. Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. What does the commonly-accepted term "efficient, efficient" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and SVG. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We think we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to aggregate iteravely. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to synergize. We understand that it is better to innovate transparently than to mesh seamlessly. Think customer-directed. men-in-white has revamped the idea of e-markets. Think nano-frictionless. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for coping with new angel investors? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? What does it really mean to optimize "compellingly"? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our capacity to cultivate without decrementing our capability to evolve. Without content supervising, you will lack solutions. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our biometrics but our ability to disintermediate. men-in-white has refactored the idea of implementation. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to whiteboard vertically. The reporting factor is seamless. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bandwidth but our power to implement. We will synergize the term "co-branded". Think mega-impactful. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? The metrics for C2C2B TQM are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think nano-super-sticky. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! At men-in-white, we think we know how to harness nano-intuitively. Think ubiquitous. Think 24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to transition perfectly than to productize intuitively. The metrics for CAE management are more well-understood if they are not robust. The capability to empower strategically leads to the capability to repurpose wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you upgrade vertically then you may also monetize interactively. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, C2C2B, innovative. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, user-defined. We will revalue our capacity to cultivate without reducing our ability to optimize. Think dynamic. Think cutting-edge. Think reconfigurable, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the ability of returns-on-investment to syndicate.