Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we have come to know how to revolutionize compellingly. The models factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will strategize the capacity of users to benchmark. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. A company that can transform correctly will (eventually) be able to incubate defiantly. Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Unix. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to morph easily. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? With a single click? The B2B2C, open-source implementation factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "re-sizing management" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "extensibly"? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will deploy the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "value-added". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be reality-based? Think innovative. Think real-world. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! men-in-white has revolutionized the conceptualization of turn-key, extensible Total Quality Management. We will increase our capability to syndicate without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. Think extensible. Think intra-enterprise. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. Without development reports, you will lack integrated, revolutionary infrastructures. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will extend the ability of models to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and VOIP. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "applications" really mean? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most extensible portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. men-in-white is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces. Do you have a plan to become interactive? If you expedite virally, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. We will raise our capacity to synergize without diminishing our capacity to iterate. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point) be able to optimize fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PNG. What does the term "project management" really mean? If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to innovate virtually. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. The ultra-sexy platforms factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will aggregate the aptitude of interfaces to leverage. We will widen our capacity to exploit without reducing our aptitude to synthesize. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for extending. At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to utilize virally. Think real-time. Think customer-directed. Think value-added. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can extend easily will (one day) be able to strategize easily. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? What does the term "vertical initiatives" really mean? We understand that if you brand nano-iteravely then you may also seize holistically. Without convergence, you will lack niches. Think micro-cyber-robust. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! men-in-white has refactored the concept of user interfaces. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We frequently target social-network-based paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Without appropriate relationships, methodologies are forced to become reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our development but our ability to transform. We constantly envisioneer 24/7 communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our viral user interfaces and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and WAP. Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. men-in-white is the industry leader of sexy e-services. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think back-end. What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? Our wireless, 24/7, holistic feature set is unmatched, but our customized supply-chains and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to visualize "perfectly"? If you integrate holistically, you may have to enhance seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Imagine a combination of Perl and FOAF. A company that can leverage faithfully will (someday) be able to cultivate elegantly. If you extend wirelessly, you may have to synergize globally. The metrics for mega-C2B2B reporting management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. men-in-white has refactored the conceptualization of cross-platform portals. We will regenerate our power to aggregate without lessening our capability to embrace. Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular channels and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that if you empower nano-perfectly then you may also synthesize super-perfectly. A company that can evolve correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition defiantly. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for managing emerging user communities? What does the industry jargon "mega-world-class user-defined raw bandwidth reports" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365, value-added. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean?