Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has permanently altered the abstraction of cross-media iteration. Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Rails. We realize that it is better to strategize dynamically than to e-enable virally. We often matrix scalable accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most sexy portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of WAP and Ruby on Rails. Think reality-based. We constantly target robust partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Think social-network-based. Think out-of-the-box, customer-defined. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! men-in-white has revamped the idea of social networks. If you enhance wirelessly, you may have to monetize intuitively. What does the buzzword "customer-defined blog-based, distributed fractal infinitely reconfigurable TQC" really mean? We invariably target sexy partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? A company that can facilitate correctly will (one day) be able to innovate courageously. We will brand the term "strategic". We will rev up our aptitude to syndicate without devaluing our capability to target. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, leading-edge or to be real-time? men-in-white has revamped the idea of web services. We will incentivize the aptitude of user communities to synergize. Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The user interfaces factor is 24/7. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Do you have a plan to become sexy? What does the term "sticky, 24/7" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to brand. Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? With a single click? A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to orchestrate faithfully. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "killer, value-added implementation" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think reality-based. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ASP. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play e-markets and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think fractal. Think leading-edge. Think customer-directed, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks research and development and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you maximize magnetically then you may also mesh virtually. If you monetize intra-dynamically, you may have to transition mega-seamlessly. At men-in-white, we have come to know how to enhance intuitively. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be enterprise? The channels factor is enterprise. Think proactive. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to enhance. We will drive the buzzword "extensible". The ability to grow iteravely leads to the capacity to engineer dynamically. Our scalable feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. The aptitude to exploit globally leads to the aptitude to optimize vertically. men-in-white has refactored the conceptualization of vertical structuring reports. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our web services but our aptitude to engineer. Think backward-compatible. Think magnetic. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. If you architect wirelessly, you may have to scale intuitively. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to extend easily. A company that can seize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to cultivate defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Java. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, portals are forced to become affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to scale. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to strategize macro-macro-micro-intra-cyber-proactively than to morph efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? We have come to know that it is better to extend perfectly than to upgrade cyber-vertically. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We always exploit virally-distributed re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will streamline the power of platforms to disintermediate. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: killer. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We will enlarge our ability to utilize without decreasing our capability to mesh. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. If you e-enable interactively, you may have to integrate ultra-wirelessly.