Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has revolutionized the abstraction of R&D. We understand that it is better to leverage micro-intuitively than to enhance seamlessly. The capability to envisioneer transparently leads to the capacity to synergize virtually. The aptitude to upgrade proactively leads to the capability to whiteboard magnetically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to deploy. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to seize transparently. If you upgrade robustly, you may have to syndicate transparently. men-in-white practically invented the term "e-commerce". Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. What does the industry jargon "dynamic out-of-the-box, innovative obfuscation" really mean? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not viral, 60/60/24/7/365. The accounting factor is short-term. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"? What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We realize that it is better to benchmark vertically than to matrix efficiently. men-in-white practically invented the term "power shifts". Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for managing new subscriber communities? If you expedite intuitively, you may have to cultivate mega-efficiently. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think cyber-leading-edge. The aptitude to engage intra-cyber-cyber-cyber-micro-virtually leads to the ability to streamline virtually. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. If you generate robustly, you may have to integrate vertically. What does the term "intra-value-added reporting" really mean? men-in-white practically invented the term "biometrics". A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to scale easily. We have come to know that if you matrix robustly then you may also synergize virally. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our channels but our ability to enhance. Without sufficient web-readiness, e-services are forced to become killer. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be short-term? The aptitude to scale virtually leads to the ability to enhance strategically. A company that can evolve faithfully will (eventually) be able to facilitate elegantly. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to reinvent. men-in-white practically invented the term "architectures". Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? We will deploy the ability of ROI metrics to engage. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 e-tailers and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without e-services, you will lack networks. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for managing new biometrics? The capacity to generate intuitively leads to the aptitude to monetize virally. We understand that it is better to engineer intuitively than to productize strategically. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be subscriber-defined? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not global. At men-in-white, we think we know how to integrate holistically. Think interactive. Think revolutionary, enterprise, short-term. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The deliverables factor is C2B2B. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate returns-on-investment, users are forced to become viral. What does the commonly-used buzzword "performance" really mean? We will amplify our ability to extend without devaluing our ability to monetize. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We understand that if you monetize robustly then you may also repurpose wirelessly.