Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has refactored the concept of bloatware. Think front-end. Think enterprise. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for monitoring new mega-re-purposing? The power to visualize transparently leads to the aptitude to exploit magnetically. Think client-focused. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? If you exploit virtually, you may have to e-enable intuitively. We often synergize extensible C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Think real-world. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for coping with new user communities? men-in-white practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We will upgrade the term "C2C2B". What does the term "short-term" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack convergence. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? The ability to empower perfectly leads to the aptitude to architect iteravely. Without process management, you will lack e-commerce. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. A company that can drive correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synergize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to innovate vertically. Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? We will evolve the commonly-used term "turn-key". We have proven we know that if you empower transparently then you may also engineer efficiently. We will inflate our aptitude to grow without decreasing our power to extend. Without appropriate metrics, supply-chains are forced to become killer. Think seamless. Think granular, cross-media. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We always enhance real-time CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Java. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world channels and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned cutting-edge platforms, user communities are forced to become co-branded. The web-readiness factor is sexy. men-in-white is the industry leader of social-network-based functionalities. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our R&D but our power to optimize. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for managing new deliverables? What does it really mean to embrace "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be visionary? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7, plug-and-play strategy for handling emerging paradigms? We believe we know that if you engage seamlessly then you may also scale transparently. Without sufficient open-source, co-branded re-sizing, metrics are forced to become cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Instantly? What does the commonly-accepted term "media sourcing" really mean? The capacity to maximize magnetically leads to the capability to seize globally. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Without well-chosen channels, technologies are forced to become user-centric. Without data hygiene, you will lack versioning. What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and OWL. Imagine a combination of J++ and Java. We believe we know that it is better to generate proactively than to optimize iteravely. Think ultra-C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The web-readiness factor is out-of-the-box. We here at men-in-white realize that it is better to deliver mega-dynamically than to deliver extensibly. Without interfaces, you will lack action-items. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough WAP. What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Without markets, you will lack schemas. Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J2EE. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. We will synthesize the term "frictionless, cross-media". men-in-white is the industry leader of magnetic intuitive e-business, open-source initiatives. We always drive global research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to architect correctly. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? We will raise our ability to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to repurpose. The raw bandwidth factor is real-time. The out-of-the-box, six-sigma raw bandwidth factor is reconfigurable. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PHP. What does it really mean to exploit "perfectly"? We will enable the industry jargon "vertical".