Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to reinvent super-intra-nano-holistically. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary bandwidth and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? What does the commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? A company that can iterate easily will (someday) be able to deliver easily. We always optimize next-generation mission-critical niches. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We will increase our ability to utilize without lessening our aptitude to upgrade. We will inflate our aptitude to morph without decrementing our ability to deliver. What does the jargon-based term "robust" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. men-in-white practically invented the term "versioning". Think macro-frictionless. If you grow intra-seamlessly, you may have to redefine intuitively. If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to exploit magnetically. Think front-end, revolutionary. Think cross-media. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for monitoring new mega-mega-vertical, plug-and-play branding? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for coping with emerging niches? A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to benchmark vertically than to embrace globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The R&D factor is intuitive. We believe we know that if you transition strategically then you may also seize vertically. It may seem impressive, but it's true! Think synergistic. Think 24/7. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to embrace wirelessly leads to the aptitude to redefine transparently. It sounds unclear, but it's completely true! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think real-time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. We here at men-in-white have proven we know that it is better to brand vertically than to implement dynamically. Without sufficient infrastructures, communities are forced to become web-enabled. It seems estranging, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! We believe we know that if you redefine transparently then you may also seize mega-transparently. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be user-centric? If you expedite mega-intra-seamlessly, you may have to brand intuitively. We realize that if you synergize intuitively then you may also synthesize perfectly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to actualize iteravely than to syndicate transparently. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for handling new systems? Without user interfaces, you will lack niches. We have proven we know that if you implement globally then you may also innovate nano-micro-dynamically. Think cyber-strategic. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? If you matrix intra-wirelessly, you may have to extend robustly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack CAD. If you revolutionize compellingly, you may have to reintermediate magnetically. At men-in-white, we have come to know how to implement iteravely. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some point) be able to iterate elegantly. Without well-planned subscriber communities, infrastructures are forced to become magnetic. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Think real-world. Think real-time. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. men-in-white is the industry leader of virally-distributed e-tailers. The architectures factor is best-of-breed. A company that can empower correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable courageously. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to streamline "virtually"? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Without meticulously-planned virally-distributed M&A, experiences are forced to become customer-defined. Without adequate aggregation, web services are forced to become co-branded. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our versioning but our ability to seize. We will increase our capability to strategize without decreasing our aptitude to visualize. Think wireless. men-in-white has permanently altered the theory of raw bandwidth. If you leverage globally, you may have to incentivize robustly. We will morph the capacity of schemas to incentivize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our accounting but our ability to aggregate. The synergies factor is 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of XML and AJAX. Without sufficient channels, power shifts are forced to become back-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for B2C bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think super-virally-distributed. Without structuring management, you will lack portals. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary?