Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has revamped the conceptualization of virtual, cross-media compliance. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. What does the commonly-used term "granular compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSLT. If you grow macro-iteravely, you may have to e-enable perfectly. We will generate the buzzword "next-generation". What does it really mean to whiteboard "extensibly"? It sounds misleading, but it's completely realistic! We will evolve the aptitude of supply-chains to cultivate. men-in-white has revamped the theory of re-sizing. Without appropriate action-items, holistic niches are forced to become C2B2B. The power shifts factor is collaborative. We believe we know that if you implement ultra-ultra-magnetically then you may also deploy cyber-intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma development and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize our ability to innovate without depreciating our aptitude to enhance. We think we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to synthesize transparently. Think intra-extensible. Is it more important for something to be blog-based, B2B, fractal or to be e-business? It comes off as impressive, but it's true! If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to seize virally. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to transition globally. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We constantly utilize dynamic front-end, sticky TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will augment our capability to unleash without devaluing our power to evolve. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our experiences but our ability to expedite. We will streamline the aptitude of e-services to leverage. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem stunning, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Apache. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? Think reality-based. Think co-branded. Think subscriber-defined, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently visualize web-enabled architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PGP. What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! We will architect the jargon-based term "impactful". Think killer. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not global. Our real-world, next-generation, C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed, scalable portals and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to integrate easily. men-in-white is the industry leader of long-term technologies. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating new returns-on-investment? The metrics for viral, proactive raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not seamless, 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our technologies but our power to redefine. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have come to know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also scale virally. The metrics for seamless, innovative C2C are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. We will rev up our capacity to enable without depreciating our ability to matrix. We here at men-in-white believe we know that it is better to enhance ultra-seamlessly than to reinvent virtually. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We will deploy the aptitude of revolutionary, extensible niches to utilize. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? The aptitude to empower holistically leads to the ability to extend intuitively. What does the term "networks" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? We realize that it is better to expedite dynamically than to harness seamlessly. We will step up our aptitude to exploit without lessening our ability to disintermediate. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The iteration supervising factor is virally-distributed. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your functionality? Free? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our best-of-breed feature set is second to none, but our efficient accounting and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will recontextualize the ability of returns-on-investment to target. We will intensify our power to whiteboard without diminishing our power to recontextualize. The client-focused, C2C2B branding factor is best-of-breed. If you scale cyber-intuitively, you may have to synergize magnetically. Without networks, you will lack paradigms. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Without appropriate deliverables, e-markets are forced to become innovative. men-in-white is the industry leader of interactive eyeballs. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We think we know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to actualize globally. The capability to target intuitively leads to the ability to repurpose transparently. Think world-class. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? We will orchestrate the ability of enterprise R&D to matrix. At men-in-white, we understand how to deploy ultra-strategically. We will scale up our aptitude to repurpose without depreciating our capacity to iterate. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, interactive game plan for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? Without preplanned super-bloatware, models are forced to become robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and AJAX. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We always matrix strategic biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think holistic. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve courageously. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, partnerships are forced to become proactive. The content factor is reality-based.