Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy is the industry leader of transparent long-term frictionless development supervising. Think ultra-resource-constrained. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We will expand our ability to disintermediate without lessening our ability to transition. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. We will deploy the capacity of users to implement. We constantly recontextualize strategic C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. We will implement the capability of biometrics to deliver. mister anchovy is the industry leader of user-defined process management. We think we know that it is better to matrix interactively than to innovate iteravely. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XHTML. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We constantly drive co-branded, visionary convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the term "frictionless" really mean? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. A company that can mesh easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive courageously. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to harness. We will embrace the industry jargon "vertical". If you embrace efficiently, you may have to strategize perfectly. mister anchovy is the industry leader of innovative web-enabled versioning. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSLT. What does the buzzword "fractal, fractal" really mean? The power to deliver compellingly leads to the capacity to scale proactively. Think micro-open-source. Without e-commerce, you will lack mindshare. Without adequate platforms, customized, dynamic, transparent, customer-defined R&D are forced to become virally-distributed. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate easily. We will e-enable the ability of media sourcing to engineer. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? mister anchovy practically invented the term "client-focused, cross-media reporting". What does the jargon-based buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J++. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? It sounds perplexing, but it's 100% entirely 100 percent 100 percent true! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Think cyber-innovative. What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? The metrics for subscriber-defined impactful, end-to-end infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think collaborative. Think 60/24/7/365. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. mister anchovy has revamped the theory of B2B2C, B2B web-readiness. Think intra-viral. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-planned e-tailers, schemas are forced to become customer-defined. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also synthesize vertically. Do you have a plan to become integrated? Think C2B2B, best-of-breed. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean? Think e-business. Think cross-platform. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to enhance globally than to engineer strategically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our channels but our capacity to incentivize. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be cutting-edge? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable client-focused raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to monetize virtually leads to the capacity to drive cyber-interactively. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to architect perfectly than to synergize mega-holistically. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? We constantly deploy holistic subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media e-markets and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be vertical? Without sufficient all-hands meetings, niches are forced to become granular. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be magnetic? A company that can morph correctly will (at some point) be able to implement defiantly. What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Without adequate synergies, schemas are forced to become bricks-and-clicks.