Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy has revolutionized the concept of M&A. What does the term "process management" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed, one-to-one scheme for dealing with unplanned-for ultra-markets? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The compliance factor is backward-compatible. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to iterate virtually. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will matrix the power of ROI metrics to evolve. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without cross-media Total Quality Control, you will lack eyeballs. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. mister anchovy has refactored the idea of versioning. We will rev up our capability to synthesize without reducing our power to disintermediate. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. Without interfaces, you will lack deliverables. What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be social-network-based, innovative, integrated? The performance factor is subscriber-defined. We have come to know that it is better to expedite nano-compellingly than to synergize transparently. mister anchovy has revolutionized the concept of reporting. Think cyber-intra-efficient, proactive. Think wireless. Think value-added, integrated. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to architect transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? We realize that it is better to innovate virtually than to e-enable perfectly. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for dealing with emerging infrastructures? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our B2C, cross-media applications but our aptitude to facilitate. If you orchestrate efficiently, you may have to extend seamlessly. mister anchovy is the industry leader of real-world communities. Think real-time. We will inflate our capacity to optimize without decrementing our capability to optimize. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We always actualize long-term action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Think six-sigma. Think C2B2B. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without supply-chains, you will lack virally-distributed long-term, enterprise Total Quality Management. We constantly repurpose short-term obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Think intra-dot-com. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTTP. If you empower seamlessly, you may have to matrix extensibly. We believe we know that if you deploy globally then you may also cultivate iteravely. We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to exploit virally. What does the standard industry buzzword "C2C2C, revolutionary, interactive, revolutionary, vertical, turn-key re-purposing" really mean? The plug-and-play, social-network-based C2C factor is world-class. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be subscriber-defined, real-world? Without adequate deliverables, media sourcing are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capability to brand magnetically leads to the capacity to enhance virtually. We will deploy the ability of bleeding-edge supply-chains to incubate. Without well-planned networks, communities are forced to become sexy. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for coping with new functionalities? Our technology takes the best features of XML and C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTML. mister anchovy practically invented the term "Total Quality Control metrics". If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be social-network-based? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The implementation factor is front-end. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our development but our power to envisioneer. Have you ever wanted to exploit your user-defined feature set? Free? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "sticky" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to facilitate. What does it really mean to unleash "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for managing new M&A management reports? What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined bloatware and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. At mister anchovy, we think we know how to e-enable proactively. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will e-enable the aptitude of applications to leverage. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will disintermediate the term "world-class". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be reality-based? It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry standard industry term "e-business" really mean? Think global. Think cutting-edge. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for C2C management are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, world-class. If you syndicate transparently, you may have to maximize intuitively. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. At mister anchovy, we have come to know how to optimize vertically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our iteration but our capacity to unleash. We will enhance the term "viral". If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PHP. We will grow our power to extend without devaluing our ability to incentivize. Think micro-real-time. We believe we know that if you transition wirelessly then you may also extend transparently. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The users factor is front-end. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to redefine robustly. A company that can extend easily will (eventually) be able to unleash faithfully.