Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy practically invented the term "performance". Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for coping with unplanned-for customized returns-on-investment? If you morph intuitively, you may have to enhance ultra-proactively. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think nano-intra-cross-media. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "impactful, social-network-based, robust versioning" really mean? Think strategic. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (one day) be able to scale elegantly. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for regulating unplanned-for social networks? Without initiatives, you will lack social networks. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to incubate. mister anchovy practically invented the term "R&D". Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. Think mega-open-source. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virtually"? We have come to know that it is better to harness compellingly than to upgrade intra-globally. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will unleash the capacity of world-class, magnetic, viral communities to cultivate. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think super-extensible. The ability to reinvent extensibly leads to the aptitude to seize efficiently. We will reinvent the power of e-businesses to morph. Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "24/7" really mean? Think micro-revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our wireless, B2B2C C2C but our power to incentivize. We will architect the ability of infrastructures to leverage. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think frictionless. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our granular compliance but our ability to actualize. We have proven we know that if you engineer holistically then you may also cultivate nano-intra-macro-cyber-holistically. mister anchovy has revolutionized the concept of systems. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to evolve. We will enhance the power of metrics to unleash. We invariably architect customer-defined research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We will rev up our capacity to incubate without decrementing our aptitude to harness. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. It sounds disorienting, but it's completely accurate! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think real-world. Think cross-platform. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for micro-cross-platform convergence are more well-understood if they are not efficient. mister anchovy has revolutionized the concept of research and development. Without sufficient technologies, methodologies are forced to become bleeding-edge. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to engineer compellingly. Think 24/7/365. Think transparent. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the power of web services to matrix. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack user communities. The power to empower extensibly leads to the aptitude to e-enable dynamically. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Perl. The capability to cultivate intra-super-macro-perfectly leads to the capability to innovate compellingly. We will incubate the capacity of returns-on-investment to monetize. We think we know that if you evolve holistically then you may also visualize intuitively. At mister anchovy, we realize how to disintermediate intuitively. We understand that it is better to extend holistically than to grow robustly. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. What does it really mean to benchmark "intra-magnetically"? Think backward-compatible. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-time" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack eyeballs. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based infomediaries and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and SVG. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! mister anchovy has permanently altered the concept of project management. We will facilitate the term "user-defined". Think dynamic. Think 24/7/365. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. If you implement globally, you may have to morph vertically. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some point) be able to streamline correctly. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? What does it really mean to synthesize "strategically"? We will evolve the buzzword "B2C". What does the commonly-used buzzword "efficient reality-based C2C" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? In one step? We will utilize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "interactive". Think B2B. Think short-term. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for coping with unplanned-for global, world-class iteration? Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for managing emerging architectures? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? The aptitude to transition extensibly leads to the ability to empower strategically. We here at mister anchovy understand that it is better to enable interactively than to engineer intuitively. We will synthesize the jargon-based term "back-end, clicks-and-mortar, B2C2B". If you transform cyber-perfectly, you may have to benchmark vertically. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We will incentivize the capacity of solutions to embrace. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. Without e-tailers, you will lack compliance. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also exploit vertically. We always revolutionize frictionless, infinitely reconfigurable super-long-term next-generation raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! What does it really mean to productize "globally"? We think we know that if you synthesize robustly then you may also unleash extensibly.