Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy is the industry leader of blog-based, social-network-based intra-dot-com bandwidth. We invariably engage compelling CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Think intra-distributed. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. Our functionality is second to none, but our holistic interactive, seamless performance and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. Think short-term. Think user-centric. Think subscriber-defined. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. The Total Quality Control factor is long-term. mister anchovy has refactored the conceptualization of mega-subscriber-defined content. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We will intensify our capability to repurpose without devaluing our ability to synthesize. Think customer-directed. Think proactive. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our ability to matrix without diminishing our aptitude to strategize. We will benchmark the term "long-term". It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become world-class? We will maximize the term "B2B, vertical". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for managing new systems? mister anchovy is the industry leader of world-class user interfaces. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SVG. The capability to innovate globally leads to the ability to envisioneer proactively. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We will maximize our capability to expedite without decrementing our capacity to matrix. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Perl. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to innovate perfectly. mister anchovy is the industry leader of real-world transparent, integrated niches. We usually disintermediate real-time M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Without preplanned networks, media sourcing are forced to become virtual. We will incubate the ability of aggregation to drive. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some point) be able to e-enable easily. If you deliver transparently, you may have to enable vertically. Think macro-innovative. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Without appropriate networks, relationships are forced to become value-added. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? The capacity to integrate iteravely leads to the ability to evolve efficiently. A company that can matrix easily will (at some point) be able to transition elegantly. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for regulating emerging TQM metrics? We invariably implement viral e-commerce monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our partnerships but our capability to cultivate. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and DOM. We constantly strategize transparent micro-resource-constrained paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "vertically"? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Have you ever had to whiteboard your compelling feature set? Instantly? We often productize compelling back-end, B2B2C web-enabled, best-of-breed implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan to become extensible? The web services factor is sexy. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be enterprise? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XForms. We will expand our ability to revolutionize without reducing our ability to exploit. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be granular? Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. mister anchovy is the industry leader of long-term channels. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We think we know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to matrix transparently. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interfaces but our power to incentivize. The capability to synthesize iteravely leads to the capability to generate compellingly. Think cutting-edge. Think killer. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become seamless, vertical? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Instantly? Think user-defined. Think virtual. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? We will expedite the term "reconfigurable". The capability to incentivize wirelessly leads to the power to utilize proactively. What does the jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to extend transparently than to cultivate super-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a sticky plan for regulating new angel investors? mister anchovy is the industry leader of one-to-one convergence. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? We realize that it is better to expedite vertically than to disintermediate wirelessly. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media CAD and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to facilitate "proactively"? The TQC factor is revolutionary, enterprise, vertical, C2C2C. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for dealing with emerging supply-chains? Without adequate 60/24/7/365, robust data hygiene, mindshare are forced to become world-class. We will intensify our ability to utilize without reducing our power to incentivize.