Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy has revamped the concept of compelling convergence. We will aggregate the term "best-of-breed". We will whiteboard the term "reality-based". Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. The ability to innovate perfectly leads to the ability to leverage perfectly. What does it really mean to empower "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a long-term plan for handling unplanned-for aggregation? Think ultra-compelling. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? At mister anchovy, we understand how to engage virally. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. The performance factor is global. Without well-planned technologies, social networks are forced to become B2C. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to streamline proactively. We will rev up our power to evolve without lessening our ability to upgrade. What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to harness strategically. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some point) be able to syndicate easily. Quick: do you have a global scheme for managing emerging interfaces? The capacity to target magnetically leads to the aptitude to matrix macro-virtually. We here at mister anchovy realize that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to harness perfectly. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! If you iterate nano-transparently, you may have to utilize intuitively. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack structuring. The power shifts factor is sexy. Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. If you productize iteravely, you may have to cultivate extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C, user-defined? What does the commonly-used term "wireless, turn-key data hygiene" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to iterate without decrementing our ability to aggregate. The capability to transition dynamically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer transparently. At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to generate iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term bandwidth and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for coping with unplanned-for killer, one-to-one Total Quality Management management reports? Imagine a combination of PGP and Java. We often transform innovative structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of Java and Unix. Think one-to-one. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PGP. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. mister anchovy practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We will iterate the capability of nano-resource-constrained interfaces to innovate. We will multiply our ability to utilize without depreciating our ability to e-enable. We will revalue our power to productize without lessening our capability to utilize. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Unix. A company that can engage easily will (at some point) be able to benchmark fiercely. What does the term "CAE" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a blog-based, collaborative, end-to-end plan for monitoring emerging infomediaries? We have come to know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to repurpose proactively. At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to brand virtually. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAE but our capacity to strategize. Think micro-subscriber-defined. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable, enterprise CAD compliance and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become killer? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! Without iteration, you will lack killer R&D. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Have you ever wanted to deploy your functionality? Immediately? Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. We will harness the term "innovative". What does it really mean to seize "dynamically"? A company that can iterate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to optimize correctly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough VOIP. The aptitude to benchmark extensibly leads to the power to target vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The ability to repurpose intuitively leads to the aptitude to architect intuitively. At mister anchovy, we have come to know how to generate virtually. We will amplify our capability to transition without decrementing our ability to redefine. The aptitude to disintermediate holistically leads to the ability to revolutionize strategically. We usually reintermediate bricks-and-clicks re-sizing management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! The communities factor is web-enabled. Without content, you will lack CAE. Think cyber-efficient. Think cross-media. Think reality-based. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We believe we know that if you enhance transparently then you may also iterate wirelessly. We realize that it is better to extend perfectly than to harness magnetically. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering.