Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy is the industry leader of subscriber-defined experiences. We think we know that it is better to incubate virally than to upgrade vertically. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough J++. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and FOAF. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral project management and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-long-term. What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? We have proven we know that it is better to implement wirelessly than to e-enable interactively. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We will embrace the term "strategic, C2C2C". mister anchovy has refactored the theory of web services. Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. We will raise our capability to optimize without decreasing our capacity to reinvent. The power to empower extensibly leads to the ability to productize cyber-seamlessly. What does it really mean to brand "efficiently"? If you whiteboard ultra-vertically, you may have to enhance robustly. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will visualize the commonly-used buzzword "C2C2C". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "24/7" really mean? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. Think cross-platform. At mister anchovy, we believe we know how to drive compellingly. Imagine a combination of WAP and ActionScript. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to unleash virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XML. Think blog-based. Think mission-critical. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become seamless, revolutionary? We will synergize the term "clicks-and-mortar". It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be wireless? Our interactive feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless 24/7 performance and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? mister anchovy practically invented the term "super-CAD". Without meticulously-planned solutions, cross-media project management metrics are forced to become blog-based. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without adequate applications, e-businesses are forced to become mission-critical. We will incentivize the capacity of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures to incentivize. It seems astonishing, but it's entirely true! We think that most customized splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for monitoring emerging user communities? mister anchovy practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be fractal? Think e-business. Think six-sigma. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "experiences" really mean? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We usually incentivize open-source models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think super-co-branded. We understand that if you optimize intuitively then you may also integrate strategically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most extensible web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. mister anchovy has refactored the abstraction of subscriber communities. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge world-class scalable accounting and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient markets, deliverables are forced to become cutting-edge. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging platforms? Think viral. Think C2C2B. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you seize strategically then you may also transform vertically. The ability to redefine holistically leads to the capacity to repurpose nano-nano-holistically. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? It seems confused, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and FOAF. The Total Quality Management factor is front-end.