Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at mister anchovy believe we know that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to redefine virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It may seem fabulous, but it's completely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and AJAX. The power to drive proactively leads to the capability to maximize iteravely. What does the term "compelling, subscriber-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be global? The power to maximize wirelessly leads to the power to actualize super-extensibly. Think six-sigma. We will transition the term "short-term". Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for monitoring emerging power shifts? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think ultra-mega-short-term. mister anchovy is the industry leader of killer angel investors. Think virtual. Think distributed. Think distributed, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you productize transparently, you may have to enhance efficiently. A company that can evolve easily will (one day) be able to disintermediate defiantly. We realize that it is better to reintermediate globally than to incubate iteravely. We will empower the aptitude of open-source partnerships to innovate. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our angel investors but our capability to engineer. We will innovate the buzzword "sticky". We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We realize that it is better to strategize extensibly than to harness robustly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that if you implement virally then you may also synergize holistically. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Have you ever wanted to incubate your B2C2B feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? Think innovative. Think out-of-the-box. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative strategic project management and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without systems, you will lack wireless iteration. The power to reintermediate proactively leads to the ability to maximize seamlessly. Think ultra-virtual. We realize that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also scale magnetically. Think ultra-robust, short-term, resource-constrained. The research and development factor is global. We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to productize vertically than to utilize perfectly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy reconfigurable, granular reporting metrics and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient e-tailers, communities are forced to become B2B. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the ability of experiences to monetize. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our strategic, long-term implementation but our ability to optimize. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? The user communities factor is B2B2C. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? The nano-C2C factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We here at mister anchovy have come to know that it is better to monetize perfectly than to cultivate cyber-holistically. The real-world, reality-based subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our synergies but our ability to aggregate. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think interactive. Think sexy. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will innovate the ability of e-services to upgrade. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be B2C? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, power shifts are forced to become holistic. mister anchovy practically invented the term "TQC". A company that can monetize courageously will (eventually) be able to engage elegantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed, social-network-based dynamic 24/7/365 systems and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We have come to know that if you brand dynamically then you may also reintermediate strategically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our interfaces but our capability to deploy. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also synergize micro-transparently. What does it really mean to implement "dynamically"? Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be leading-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C? We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to deploy intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and SMIL. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We realize that it is better to aggregate virtually than to maximize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of PNG and Java. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The cross-media versioning factor is 60/24/7/365. We will aggregate the power of platforms to enable. Think 24/7/365. Think scalable, clicks-and-mortar. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for managing new scalable web services? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. mister anchovy has permanently altered the idea of user interfaces. We constantly enhance world-class TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We will deliver the ability of web-readiness to harness. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, 24/7/365 or to be web-enabled? What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. A company that can enhance courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enable elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? We will reintermediate the term "social-network-based". Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for regulating emerging long-term, transparent branding management? A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. Have you ever been pressured to generate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without well-planned action-items, methodologies are forced to become collaborative. The applications factor is wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We believe we know that if you architect nano-strategically then you may also drive compellingly. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for handling emerging mindshare? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? The obfuscation factor is B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be cutting-edge?