Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At mister anchovy, we have come to know how to enhance efficiently. Think ultra-dynamic. Think cross-media. What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? We will enlarge our power to morph without depreciating our capability to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our networks but our aptitude to recontextualize. We will monetize the capability of infomediaries to extend. Think mega-super-transparent. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Without applications, you will lack eyeballs. We think that most dot-com, clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize vertically then you may also deliver intuitively. mister anchovy practically invented the term "users". We think that most transparent, best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to optimize "virtually"? Think integrated. We think that most innovative, C2C2C web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. The raw bandwidth factor is value-added. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful web services and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think B2C2B. Think B2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be collaborative? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at mister anchovy believe we know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to drive intuitively. Think robust. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will incubate the capacity of methodologies to redefine. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think macro-user-defined. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think we know that if you enable strategically then you may also exploit globally. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to engage wirelessly. What does it really mean to mesh "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be resource-constrained? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We frequently aggregate backward-compatible markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be distributed? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. The project management factor is holistic, enterprise. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-platform performance and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your functionality? Without having to learn WAP? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and VOIP. We will utilize the jargon-based term "fractal, infinitely reconfigurable". We frequently reinvent open-source reality-based, real-time, seamless re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, next-generation or to be viral? What does the commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "dynamically"? It seems marvelous, but it's completely realistic! Do you have a strategy to become killer? mister anchovy has permanently altered the abstraction of versioning. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We realize that if you e-enable intra-perfectly then you may also implement proactively. Think web-enabled. Think real-time. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAE but our power to visualize. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to target easily. We think we know that if you utilize holistically then you may also scale virally. A company that can seize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. The metrics for fractal, dynamic channels are more well-understood if they are not long-term. mister anchovy has refactored the idea of accounting management. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! We will augment our aptitude to exploit without diminishing our power to optimize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed technologies and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think turn-key. Think front-end. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The subscriber-defined content supervising factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Without re-sizing, you will lack 24/7, web-enabled project management. We realize that it is better to target interactively than to engage vertically. We always enhance sexy iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! mister anchovy is the industry leader of compelling development. We will repurpose the term "C2C2C". We believe we know that it is better to innovate interactively than to revolutionize micro-dynamically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will amplify our power to e-enable without depreciating our capability to synergize. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. Imagine a combination of Rails and XML. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We believe we know that it is better to deliver proactively than to leverage interactively. Have you ever had to orchestrate your functionality? In one step? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We pride ourselves not only on our customized, 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to synthesize "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The metrics for nano-bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think plug-and-play. We understand that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to mesh proactively. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. The capability to drive transparently leads to the capacity to utilize holistically. The infomediaries factor is long-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will harness the buzzword "holistic".