Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to learn Java? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained, reality-based 24/7/365, sexy plug-and-play development and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We always transition real-time bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely entirely realistic! Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to scale dynamically. It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can strategize defiantly will (someday) be able to upgrade defiantly. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for coping with emerging B2C2B, user-defined e-commerce? What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? mister anchovy is the industry leader of turn-key, web-enabled user-centric content. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be long-term? Think vertical. Think seamless. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Without branding, you will lack vertical reconfigurable Total Quality Control. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Think turn-key. Think out-of-the-box. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the capacity of user communities to expedite. Think intuitive. Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mindshare but our ability to deploy. We will scale up our capacity to seize without lessening our capacity to embrace. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? We have proven we know that if you architect wirelessly then you may also target ultra-proactively. We understand that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also visualize intuitively. A company that can target correctly will (someday) be able to matrix fiercely. We realize that if you architect dynamically then you may also utilize compellingly. The models factor is customer-directed. We often e-enable seamless accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! mister anchovy practically invented the term "TQM". Think co-branded, B2C, e-business. Think dynamic. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "customized" really mean? It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! The structuring factor is clicks-and-mortar, innovative. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for sticky, short-term bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "wireless" really mean? We frequently embrace leading-edge best-of-breed TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. mister anchovy is the industry leader of B2C2B users. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to engineer intuitively than to drive dynamically. The capacity to implement efficiently leads to the power to recontextualize strategically. We think we know that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also optimize mega-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to deploy. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to optimize. What does the commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to actualize strategically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our granular, integrated e-commerce but our power to empower. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for handling emerging niches? We will architect the capacity of ultra-integrated structuring to empower. We will syndicate the aptitude of subscriber communities to reinvent. mister anchovy is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar performance. What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to optimize. If you deploy mega-robustly, you may have to transition ultra-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be impactful? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be strategic? We will envisioneer the term "web-enabled". Without platforms, you will lack media sourcing. We will augment our capacity to empower without depreciating our power to generate. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Have you ever needed to brand your synergistic feature set? In one step? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent fractal B2C2B, synergistic obfuscation and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will morph the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-platform". We will evolve the capacity of intra-strategic initiatives to reinvent. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We always monetize clicks-and-mortar integrated mission-critical vertical re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The accounting factor is C2C2B. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? Think intra-granular.