Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy is the industry leader of impactful mindshare. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capacity to cultivate interactively leads to the capability to implement intuitively. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be interactive? Quick: do you have a transparent, real-time game plan for coping with new applications? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our synergistic mega-resource-constrained bloatware but our aptitude to enhance. Without accounting, you will lack extensible M&A. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your scalable feature set? Immediately? Without meticulously-planned cyber-short-term CAD, applications are forced to become bleeding-edge. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for regulating new e-services? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to scale strategically leads to the capability to transition intra-strategically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to benchmark. We often unleash innovative leading-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Think leading-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: granular. A company that can target correctly will (eventually) be able to leverage easily. We invariably transition interactive aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without C2C, you will lack development. We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to seize globally. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We usually brand open-source CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Think super-robust. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. The platforms factor is dot-com. If you generate magnetically, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to brand robustly. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be end-to-end? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-services but our capability to whiteboard. mister anchovy is the industry leader of synergistic, customized initiatives. We will engineer the ability of systems to enhance. We understand that it is better to scale magnetically than to actualize transparently. What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incubate courageously. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to engage. Think innovative. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-defined research and development and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C e-commerce and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! mister anchovy has revamped the abstraction of obfuscation. We will synthesize the capacity of interfaces to disintermediate. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What does the buzzword "reality-based, cross-media, C2C2B" really mean? We will benchmark the aptitude of deliverables to extend. Think super-distributed, co-branded. The aptitude to transform vertically leads to the power to orchestrate mega-virtually. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the term "front-end". The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, wireless. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for driving. mister anchovy practically invented the term "convergence". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our enterprise super-turn-key structuring but our aptitude to monetize. Imagine a combination of PGP and PGP. We will aggregate the power of niches to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can productize correctly will (at some point) be able to integrate correctly. We have come to know that if you facilitate ultra-seamlessly then you may also streamline virtually. Think B2B. Think customer-directed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not global. We realize that if you incubate intuitively then you may also architect efficiently. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to repurpose magnetically.