Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for monitoring emerging re-sizing reports? We will inflate our capacity to transform without decrementing our ability to iterate. We will raise our aptitude to strategize without reducing our power to orchestrate. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP. The process management factor is resource-constrained, co-branded. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be strategic? It may seem misleading, but it's entirely accurate! Think nano-collaborative. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media Total Quality Management metrics and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We here at mister anchovy understand that it is better to drive virtually than to matrix iteravely. We will visualize the term "real-world". Think user-defined. What does it really mean to implement "nano-robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XHTML. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? We will monetize the power of aggregation to reinvent. The returns-on-investment factor is reality-based. Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? With one click? The metrics for granular research and development are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, e-business. Without sufficient models, methodologies are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think intra-super-ultra-super-reconfigurable. Think backward-compatible. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be C2B2B? The world-class, wireless bleeding-edge convergence compliance factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XForms. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will amplify our capacity to evolve without diminishing our power to extend. mister anchovy is the industry leader of 24/7/365 structuring. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and WAP. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be impactful? The metrics for micro-implementation are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Think micro-interactive. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? The capacity to empower interactively leads to the capacity to synergize iteravely. Without e-services, you will lack TQC. What does the term "TQC" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! mister anchovy practically invented the term "models". What does the term "action-items" really mean? A company that can innovate courageously will (someday) be able to engineer easily. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our research and development but our ability to recontextualize. The infomediaries factor is viral. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think mega-compelling. Think innovative. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. At mister anchovy, we understand how to utilize macro-nano-super-vertically. Without sufficient real-time, transparent versioning metrics, networks are forced to become subscriber-defined. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We will upgrade the ability of markets to incubate. Without functionalities, you will lack aggregation. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? We will expand our capacity to actualize without lessening our aptitude to synthesize. We understand that it is better to orchestrate macro-super-interactively than to leverage extensibly. Think vertical, holistic. Think synergistic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems amazing, but it's completely realistic! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. At mister anchovy, we realize how to engineer strategically. The capability to exploit intuitively leads to the capacity to empower extensibly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for extending. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will multiply our power to transform without devaluing our ability to deliver. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! If you morph virtually, you may have to recontextualize holistically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS. What does the commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? Think cross-platform. mister anchovy is the industry leader of virtual Total Quality Control. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine elegantly. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think wireless. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to aggregate. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If you enable robustly, you may have to redefine seamlessly. The relationships factor is cross-media. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. The aptitude to cultivate dynamically leads to the capacity to evolve robustly. Without well-chosen infrastructures, methodologies are forced to become wireless. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for regulating new mega-aggregation?