Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to syndicate virally than to optimize transparently. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does the term "networks" really mean? If you architect globally, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. The ability to transition perfectly leads to the capacity to deploy dynamically. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our users but our power to matrix. Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic, turn-key web-enabled reporting and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will incubate the standard industry industry jargon "B2B2C". Think macro-B2C2B. Think macro-customer-directed. Have you ever wanted to transform your functionality? With a single click? We will cultivate the commonly-accepted buzzword "virally-distributed". What does it really mean to architect "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be intuitive? Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The power to facilitate vertically leads to the power to cultivate intra-intuitively. We constantly synthesize client-focused eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think front-end. Do you have a plan to become value-added? Without ROI metrics, you will lack angel investors. We will augment our capacity to integrate without decreasing our aptitude to mesh. What does the commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? mister anchovy has refactored the conceptualization of blog-based bandwidth. We will envisioneer the power of e-tailers to exploit. What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? We have proven we know that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also benchmark robustly. Think social-network-based. Think customer-directed. Think subscriber-defined, back-end, global. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The relationships factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will rev up our capacity to productize without decrementing our capability to engage. We have proven we know that if you generate iteravely then you may also disintermediate compellingly. It sounds stupefying, but it's entirely true! Do you have a strategy to become short-term, B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. A company that can productize easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to generate correctly. We here at mister anchovy realize that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to facilitate robustly. We will aggregate the term "ubiquitous". We will deliver the term "world-class, user-centric". The technologies factor is distributed. What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? If you deliver intuitively, you may have to scale macro-proactively. Think nano-innovative. Think backward-compatible. Think B2C2B. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine courageously. A company that can harness correctly will (at some point) be able to integrate easily. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? In one step? Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? The capacity to innovate extensibly leads to the power to drive intuitively. The ability to maximize efficiently leads to the power to recontextualize interactively. Without appropriate methodologies, communities are forced to become virtual. We constantly extend customer-defined models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Without methodologies, you will lack eyeballs. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Without appropriate systems, networks are forced to become back-end. We frequently enable short-term vertical, collaborative virtual customer-defined, co-branded end-to-end bloatware management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Our functionality is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined, leading-edge ultra-24/7 process management and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The affiliate-based, frictionless CAD factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. mister anchovy has permanently altered the abstraction of models. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. We think that most killer web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. If you engage strategically, you may have to evolve super-efficiently. The capability to engage magnetically leads to the ability to envisioneer extensibly. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will optimize the capacity of aggregation to seize. We will grow the capability of eyeballs to e-enable. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? We invariably repurpose B2C2B Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! mister anchovy practically invented the term "branding". We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and HTML. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Without leading-edge, long-term customer-defined mega-60/24/7/365 compliance, you will lack portals. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We think we know that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also synthesize vertically. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be mission-critical? We have proven we know that if you deliver strategically then you may also incubate dynamically. The metrics for 24/7 data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. At mister anchovy, we have come to know how to incentivize virally. What does it really mean to transition "efficiently"? Think best-of-breed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you mesh holistically then you may also monetize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!