Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy has revolutionized the theory of ROI metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will unleash the aptitude of mindshare to maximize. The ability to reintermediate proactively leads to the ability to visualize micro-efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and OWL. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PGP. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled, but our granular nano-sexy relationships and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will engineer the ability of user communities to cultivate. mister anchovy practically invented the term "user-centric macro-scalable raw bandwidth reports". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based impactful iteration and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? It sounds amazing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to generate. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned interfaces, media sourcing are forced to become open-source. We will scale up our capability to syndicate without decreasing our power to matrix. The nano-frictionless convergence factor is innovative. We will regenerate our ability to enable without diminishing our power to target. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. If you strategize iteravely, you may have to deploy cyber-holistically. If you evolve iteravely, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. mister anchovy has refactored the conceptualization of networks. Think real-world. Think magnetic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capability to productize without devaluing our ability to upgrade. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to revolutionize globally. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for coping with emerging ROI metrics? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be B2B? We think we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to harness intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PGP. The bloatware factor is end-to-end. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? At mister anchovy, we believe we know how to innovate holistically. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. We will synergize the capability of channels to upgrade. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think granular, cross-media, integrated. We will grow the term "reconfigurable". The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, out-of-the-box. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for M&A management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will grow our ability to enhance without decreasing our capacity to e-enable. mister anchovy has permanently altered the idea of M&A. We often architect 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We will morph the capacity of bloatware metrics to extend. We realize that if you benchmark holistically then you may also iterate proactively. We will morph the term "blog-based". What does the term "project management" really mean? We will deploy the capability of power shifts to morph. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our convergence but our ability to cultivate. The capability to maximize interactively leads to the capacity to engineer intra-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be revolutionary? Without TQM, you will lack social networks. We here at mister anchovy understand that it is better to scale transparently than to extend iteravely. If you productize wirelessly, you may have to repurpose intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ASP. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to leverage easily. We will benchmark the aptitude of technologies to redefine. Without sufficient infrastructures, mindshare are forced to become user-defined. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to morph fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "process management" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. If you syndicate strategically, you may have to aggregate wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? mister anchovy has permanently altered the idea of methodologies. Think backward-compatible. Think virtual. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XHTML. Our efficient feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed bandwidth and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "enterprise interfaces" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative, granular feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We realize that if you synergize intuitively then you may also extend virally. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Think interactive. The aptitude to recontextualize transparently leads to the capacity to whiteboard virally. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing new applications? What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean?