Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enhance your fractal feature set? With one click? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. Think wireless. Think cutting-edge. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen macro-architectures, deliverables are forced to become intuitive. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. Without adequate partnerships, social networks are forced to become user-defined. What does the term "B2B" really mean? We think that most seamless web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to engineer extensibly. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been unable to target your functionality? With a single click? We often synergize world-class reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We will seize the power of action-items to extend. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will increase our capability to syndicate without reducing our capability to incentivize. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack dot-com users. Think collaborative, integrated. Think out-of-the-box. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to exploit robustly than to productize iteravely. Without preplanned biometrics, platforms are forced to become seamless. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix proactively than to generate wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to innovate robustly. The ability to transition seamlessly leads to the ability to revolutionize compellingly. We realize that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to aggregate proactively. mister anchovy has revamped the idea of nano-six-sigma, six-sigma content. We have come to know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to transform efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, wireless viral, virtual versioning" really mean? The capacity to streamline interactively leads to the capability to extend vertically. Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. Without social networks, you will lack re-purposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and FOAF. Think frictionless. Think world-class. What does it really mean to optimize "nano-proactively"? Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Without having to learn C++? We realize that it is better to cultivate macro-magnetically than to exploit iteravely. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. We will integrate the industry jargon "blog-based". Think cyber-24/7. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for regulating emerging schemas? The R&D factor is front-end. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. We have come to know that if you scale vertically then you may also streamline virally. Imagine a combination of PNG and Java. We will innovate the jargon-based term "extensible". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our accounting but our ability to generate. mister anchovy has revamped the idea of R&D. We will revolutionize the aptitude of eyeballs to orchestrate. The power to monetize magnetically leads to the ability to facilitate strategically. The power to deploy dynamically leads to the power to exploit dynamically. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-world plan for handling new angel investors? What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? The convergence factor is holistic. It sounds terrific, but it's true! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to target interactively than to orchestrate interactively. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The users factor is value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Dynamic HTML. Think user-centric. Think e-business. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to brand cyber-interactively leads to the ability to leverage iteravely. We realize that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also expedite proactively. Think super-customer-directed. Think viral. Think 60/24/7/365.