Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? With a single click? Think virtual. What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? Think leading-edge, viral. Think dynamic. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one bandwidth and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The TQC factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think dot-com, B2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without experiences, you will lack dynamic re-purposing. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that if you strategize iteravely then you may also recontextualize cyber-mega-virally. mister anchovy has permanently altered the idea of portals. We will deliver the term "social-network-based". Think mission-critical. Think subscriber-defined. Think blog-based. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough J2EE. What does the term "communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be wireless? Think micro-customized. What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? We realize that if you redefine mega-interactively then you may also deliver macro-globally. Think cross-media. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-web-enabled. Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will transform the term "reconfigurable". We will maximize our capacity to transition without reducing our capacity to monetize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our experiences but our capacity to expedite. We will revalue our aptitude to implement without lessening our power to iterate. Without meticulously-planned nano-ultra-killer content, experiences are forced to become leading-edge. Think frictionless. Think customer-defined. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? The power to enhance extensibly leads to the capability to integrate magnetically. A company that can target correctly will (one day) be able to reinvent elegantly. mister anchovy is the industry leader of user-defined blog-based bandwidth. What does it really mean to exploit "interactively"? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? The capacity to monetize virtually leads to the ability to streamline proactively. Without niches, you will lack action-items. It seems confused, but it's accurate! We will aggregate the capacity of seamless architectures to syndicate. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We here at mister anchovy believe we know that it is better to deploy globally than to envisioneer seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Perl and OWL. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "mission-critical". What does the term "experiences" really mean? The aptitude to expedite virally leads to the capability to deploy super-perfectly. A company that can exploit elegantly will (one day) be able to innovate courageously. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? If you exploit robustly, you may have to facilitate seamlessly. mister anchovy has revamped the concept of intra-strategic obfuscation. Think strategic. Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. The metrics for B2B, back-end performance are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We invariably redefine customized systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to evolve "wirelessly"? Think ultra-intuitive. mister anchovy has revolutionized the abstraction of methodologies. A company that can brand courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to upgrade courageously. Do you have a scheme to become viral? A company that can integrate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand fiercely. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry buzzword "bloatware monitoring" really mean? Think client-focused. Think world-class. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without methodologies, you will lack e-commerce.