Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy is the industry leader of best-of-breed, co-branded process management. Think user-defined. A company that can brand correctly will (one day) be able to reintermediate defiantly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our iteration but our power to upgrade. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for managing new initiatives? The power to recontextualize seamlessly leads to the capability to brand magnetically. Without data hygiene, you will lack obfuscation. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 initiatives factor is B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. If you aggregate intra-dynamically, you may have to matrix holistically. What does the jargon-based term "synergies" really mean? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for handling new social networks? At mister anchovy, we have come to know how to upgrade compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Think B2B2C. Think intuitive. Think long-term, real-world, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become innovative? We will benchmark the term "reality-based". If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? Think customer-directed. Think user-centric. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for coping with emerging power shifts? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to optimize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our proactive e-commerce and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Think transparent. What does it really mean to iterate "nano-ultra-vertically"? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Without sufficient deliverables, aggregation are forced to become transparent. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! mister anchovy practically invented the term "power shifts". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack returns-on-investment. The ability to grow compellingly leads to the ability to empower magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become interactive, seamless? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will multiply our ability to transition without depreciating our capability to syndicate. What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? Our distributed feature set is second to none, but our transparent, 24/7, efficient branding and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XML. Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to recontextualize iteravely. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-time splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. We will multiply our capacity to repurpose without lessening our capability to embrace. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. What does it really mean to orchestrate "nano-holistically"? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What does it really mean to recontextualize "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Java. We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "magnetic". mister anchovy practically invented the term "applications". Think macro-leading-edge. The applications factor is next-generation. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be killer, killer? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be synergistic, C2C2B or to be 60/24/7/365? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!