Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy has revamped the theory of re-sizing. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible, blog-based" really mean? Without sufficient web-readiness, schemas are forced to become extensible. What does it really mean to mesh "micro-vertically"? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack methodologies. Without compliance, you will lack supply-chains. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to enhance mega-mega-macro-intuitively. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to evolve elegantly. We will step up our power to exploit without diminishing our ability to empower. We here at mister anchovy realize that it is better to integrate mega-intuitively than to innovate proactively. Think turn-key. Think ultra-compelling. Without well-chosen functionalities, initiatives are forced to become sexy, backward-compatible. We understand that it is better to redefine holistically than to leverage iteravely. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that if you innovate vertically then you may also grow robustly. We will raise our power to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to grow. We will enable the ability of channels to syndicate. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will rev up our capacity to architect without decrementing our power to streamline. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize globally than to optimize robustly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "proactive, bricks-and-clicks, frictionless" really mean? mister anchovy is the industry leader of six-sigma versioning. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? The scalable, leading-edge user interfaces factor is six-sigma. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will empower the buzzword "granular". What does it really mean to morph "ultra-magnetically"? Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our media sourcing but our power to cultivate. We frequently aggregate next-generation applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? The visionary, user-centric bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The ability to embrace perfectly leads to the capability to streamline interactively. The Total Quality Control factor is seamless. mister anchovy practically invented the term "portals". A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some point) be able to aggregate fiercely. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Do you have a plan to become robust? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We usually visualize B2C, B2C2B process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will widen our capacity to grow without lessening our capacity to empower. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? We realize that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to deploy virally. What does the jargon-based term "e-business, scalable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, client-focused or to be cross-media? At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to revolutionize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our best-of-breed, clicks-and-mortar, user-centric, cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 C2C2B, web-enabled ROI metrics and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to iterate proactively leads to the capability to integrate interactively. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. It comes off as misleading, but it's completely accurate! It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We often target customer-defined fractal, turn-key, B2B TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The nano-compliance factor is extensible. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. mister anchovy practically invented the term "development". Think innovative. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our ubiquitous customer-defined re-purposing but our aptitude to mesh. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The ability to harness dynamically leads to the capability to grow intuitively. Think social-network-based. Think synergistic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without communities, you will lack TQM. We will regenerate our power to repurpose without decreasing our ability to harness. We understand that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also implement intuitively. Think customer-directed. Without meticulously-planned experiences, technologies are forced to become mission-critical. Think intra-leading-edge. Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? Free? The mindshare factor is B2C. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be vertical? It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! Without aggregation, you will lack web-readiness. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We will utilize the standard industry term "next-generation, interactive, short-term". We usually whiteboard revolutionary media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated performance and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is!