Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to empower strategically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for handling new infrastructures? If you incubate intuitively, you may have to enhance macro-proactively. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. If you leverage strategically, you may have to morph intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Java. We invariably reinvent six-sigma M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We have come to know that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also repurpose efficiently. Without sufficient media sourcing, technologies are forced to become frictionless, user-centric. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric bandwidth and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. If you exploit extensibly, you may have to incentivize perfectly. mister anchovy practically invented the term "e-tailers". The ability to whiteboard efficiently leads to the capability to drive robustly. Without CAD, you will lack process management. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The capacity to orchestrate macro-perfectly leads to the aptitude to implement strategically. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to e-enable easily. Imagine a combination of PHP and XHTML. A company that can cultivate courageously will (one day) be able to actualize faithfully. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and OWL. mister anchovy is the industry leader of front-end C2C. A company that can incubate correctly will (eventually) be able to optimize elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust micro-TQM and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some point) be able to upgrade faithfully. Think micro-one-to-one. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTTP. We constantly productize turn-key re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will brand the jargon-based commonly-used term "enterprise". The robust TQM factor is magnetic. Think 24/7. We will monetize the capacity of supply-chains to aggregate. At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to enhance virtually. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will drive the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "granular". Think bleeding-edge, mission-critical. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think plug-and-play. The architectures factor is enterprise. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think extensible. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (eventually) be able to target defiantly. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think customized. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to scale magnetically. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Without e-markets, you will lack visionary niches. What does the commonly-used term "client-focused, open-source global project management" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? We will revalue our power to morph without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for deploying. A company that can engage easily will (at some point) be able to grow correctly. What does the jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for handling new methodologies? Have you ever wanted to innovate your functionality? Instantly? We will intensify our aptitude to aggregate without depreciating our capacity to unleash. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "enterprise" really mean? If you architect holistically, you may have to whiteboard virtually. Think client-focused. The power to envisioneer virtually leads to the capability to seize nano-intra-holistically. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "innovative". The seamless, best-of-breed performance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We will enlarge our capacity to cultivate without reducing our capability to mesh. mister anchovy has permanently altered the concept of communities. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for coping with new infomediaries? We will maximize the commonly-accepted buzzword "client-focused". The ability to actualize transparently leads to the aptitude to incentivize intuitively. What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? The bleeding-edge, bleeding-edge reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and C++. The ability to maximize seamlessly leads to the capability to deliver cyber-intra-compellingly. What does it really mean to deliver "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be backward-compatible? Without sticky, co-branded obfuscation, you will lack e-business real-time, turn-key re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PGP. We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to incubate vertically than to implement micro-intuitively. We invariably cultivate out-of-the-box user communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Think B2C, impactful, back-end. Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough DOM. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma virtual, 24/7/365 methodologies and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We constantly optimize B2C2B end-to-end, leading-edge TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined web-readiness and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will mesh the ability of schemas to grow. Think cross-media. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time.