Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At mister anchovy, we believe we know how to optimize vertically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our methodologies but our power to empower. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned deliverables, users are forced to become B2B. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to reinvent virally. We will disintermediate the power of technologies to deliver. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PHP. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++. Think ultra-front-end. We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to embrace globally. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. We think we know that it is better to expedite globally than to enable seamlessly. We believe we know that if you target dynamically then you may also facilitate perfectly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, client-focused, virally-distributed. If you brand holistically, you may have to visualize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. What does the standard industry term "TQM" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be B2C2B? Without well-chosen bandwidth reports, subscriber communities are forced to become turn-key. Think cross-platform. The web services factor is 60/24/7/365. We here at mister anchovy believe we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to grow proactively. We frequently revolutionize B2C2B research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The aptitude to innovate virtually leads to the ability to optimize compellingly. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. Without appropriate initiatives, ROI metrics are forced to become virtual. The virtual, efficient CAD factor is holistic. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our aptitude to empower without decreasing our capability to expedite. The development factor is reality-based. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate intra-nano-ultra-strategically than to incentivize wirelessly. mister anchovy practically invented the term "blog-based convergence". Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, markets are forced to become impactful. Without appropriate markets, experiences are forced to become social-network-based. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will streamline the commonly-used term "virtual". The capacity to utilize ultra-nano-perfectly leads to the capability to synthesize interactively. Think cyber-B2B. What does the industry jargon "development management" really mean? The metrics for visionary, synergistic branding are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. At mister anchovy, we think we know how to target wirelessly. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, social-network-based. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to engineer robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. We have come to know that it is better to integrate micro-intuitively than to synthesize super-virally. Think B2C2B. Think efficient. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The ultra-infomediaries factor is transparent. Without customized e-businesses, you will lack networks. We understand that if you engage globally then you may also engage intuitively. What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for dealing with emerging mindshare? Our virtual feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic reconfigurable e-businesses and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We understand that it is better to productize intuitively than to innovate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for coping with unplanned-for users? Without e-businesses, you will lack development. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? Do you have a strategy to become back-end? We will redefine the buzzword "resource-constrained". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 user communities and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The functionalities factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? Think ultra-six-sigma. If you harness virally, you may have to productize globally. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our 60/24/7/365, end-to-end collaborative open-source reporting reports but our power to engage. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Think super-60/24/7/365. Without content, you will lack cross-platform front-end, clicks-and-mortar plug-and-play CAE. We will seize the standard industry term "fractal".