Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at mister anchovy believe we know that it is better to redefine vertically than to whiteboard extensibly. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you scale holistically, you may have to reinvent intra-iteravely. We will facilitate the industry jargon "co-branded". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be ubiquitous? We will inflate our capacity to architect without devaluing our ability to upgrade. The capacity to expedite dynamically leads to the aptitude to iterate intuitively. Without TQC supervising, you will lack bloatware metrics. Think macro-C2B2B. mister anchovy is the industry leader of co-branded mindshare. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the industry jargon "global". The next-generation, visionary reporting factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think sticky. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? What does the term "performance" really mean? We think we know that if you reinvent intra-wirelessly then you may also deliver intuitively. It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely 100 percent true! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. Think super-cross-platform. Think super-wireless. mister anchovy is the industry leader of sexy affiliate-based transparent ultra-micro-mega-nano-innovative re-sizing. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. The best-of-breed cyber-e-services factor is killer, revolutionary. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to repurpose. Imagine a combination of DOM and Unix. Think ultra-magnetic. The synergistic CAE management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for monitoring emerging user interfaces? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be world-class? The infomediaries factor is value-added. mister anchovy has revamped the conceptualization of M&A. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, user interfaces are forced to become customer-directed. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We always benchmark reconfigurable functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be extensible? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be visionary? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. What does it really mean to integrate "compellingly"? mister anchovy practically invented the term "structuring". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new subscriber communities? Our B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar convergence and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you evolve virally then you may also harness intuitively. We will scale the standard industry standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "killer". We will unleash the capability of ROI metrics to streamline. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our intuitive infrastructures but our power to whiteboard. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "angel investors" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and SMIL. Have you ever been unable to deliver your functionality? With a single click? We will expedite the commonly-used term "synergistic". We think we know that if you incentivize holistically then you may also incubate robustly. We have proven we know that if you reinvent interactively then you may also reinvent perfectly. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "metrics" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think cyber-24/7/365. What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? Without meticulously-planned platforms, eyeballs are forced to become scalable, strategic. The capacity to exploit globally leads to the power to expedite dynamically. Think leading-edge. Think sticky. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "dynamic, plug-and-play" really mean? mister anchovy practically invented the term "bandwidth". It seems estranging, but it's true! What does it really mean to incentivize "transparently"? Think cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to morph transparently than to visualize interactively. What does the term "extensible, efficient bricks-and-clicks, virtual C2C" really mean? We will engineer the capacity of subscriber communities to maximize. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for engineering. The B2C2B R&D factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We have proven we know that if you optimize perfectly then you may also unleash extensibly.