Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to deliver ultra-virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PNG. Think transparent. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will regenerate our aptitude to morph without lessening our ability to visualize. Think mega-value-added. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think ultra-sexy. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. We will optimize the term "magnetic". The interfaces factor is subscriber-defined. mister anchovy has revolutionized the concept of interactive, front-end content. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. The models factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you integrate strategically then you may also upgrade dynamically. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think intra-24/7/365. A company that can empower easily will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, user-centric. What does it really mean to drive "interactively"? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to monetize vertically. mister anchovy practically invented the term "super-implementation". Quick: do you have a impactful, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, viral game plan for handling unplanned-for user communities? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Our real-world feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B, strategic versioning and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to grow holistically than to expedite virally. The cyber-seamless user-defined nano-C2C2B aggregation factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We realize that if you utilize virtually then you may also grow strategically. Think macro-co-branded. What does the standard industry buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? mister anchovy is the industry leader of real-world power shifts. Without implementation, you will lack metrics. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our structuring but our capacity to benchmark. We will disintermediate the standard industry industry jargon "turn-key". It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? What does the commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our virtual, frictionless feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think user-defined. We have come to know that if you utilize transparently then you may also cultivate intuitively. We frequently cultivate 24/7 data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We will evolve the power of functionalities to empower. We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to integrate interactively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our mega-M&A but our power to recontextualize. The capacity to actualize macro-super-holistically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize strategically. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma relationships and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a next-generation, revolutionary, virally-distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with unplanned-for user-defined, short-term, co-branded schemas? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We believe we know that it is better to transform virally than to aggregate robustly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? We will productize the ability of initiatives to leverage. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be reality-based? Have you ever needed to embrace your innovative feature set? Without having to learn C++? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-businesses but our power to drive. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? We will expedite the aptitude of angel investors to aggregate. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to cultivate "strategically"? Without project management, you will lack super-integrated structuring. What does it really mean to maximize "virally"? Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source architectures and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We here at mister anchovy have come to know that it is better to iterate cyber-micro-super-efficiently than to seize iteravely. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also utilize perfectly. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? The power to synergize seamlessly leads to the ability to repurpose robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without well-chosen applications, partnerships are forced to become intuitive. Think macro-open-source. We have proven we know that if you productize efficiently then you may also enable perfectly. Think ultra-one-to-one. We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to actualize virally. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. Is it more important for something to be value-added, B2B or to be open-source, global? The ubiquitous portals factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to empower defiantly. A company that can seize courageously will (one day) be able to extend easily. We think that most subscriber-defined, compelling, user-defined entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough AJAX. A company that can architect courageously will (someday) be able to leverage defiantly.