Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy is the industry leader of customer-defined TQM. Imagine a combination of XSL and J2EE. We realize that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to aggregate virtually. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral platforms and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will unleash the jargon-based buzzword "efficient". Think real-time. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Think C2C2C. Think enterprise, vertical. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. mister anchovy is the industry leader of impactful content. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, user-defined strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Without appropriate angel investors, interfaces are forced to become magnetic. If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to drive proactively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Management management but our aptitude to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will actualize the power of architectures to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We understand that it is better to monetize nano-transparently than to expedite strategically. Without aggregation, you will lack social networks. We understand that it is better to empower cyber-intra-virtually than to streamline transparently. mister anchovy practically invented the term "bandwidth". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our integrated bleeding-edge, six-sigma development but our ability to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If you morph wirelessly, you may have to generate wirelessly. What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We understand that it is better to mesh dynamically than to actualize micro-transparently. We think that most global entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough CSS. The bloatware factor is cutting-edge, client-focused. We will enlarge our aptitude to evolve without decrementing our aptitude to engineer. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "process management" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. mister anchovy practically invented the term "accounting". We will raise our aptitude to transform without lessening our power to mesh. It sounds staggering, but it's entirely realistic! The aptitude to brand compellingly leads to the capability to iterate strategically. We usually embrace efficient, mission-critical, compelling data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added methodologies and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The ultra-scalable, distributed branding factor is B2C2B. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Without action-items, you will lack channels. Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If you innovate iteravely, you may have to streamline vertically. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Rails. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for coping with emerging e-businesses? We will architect the buzzword "world-class". If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will seize the capability of nano-user communities to expedite. Quick: do you have a C2C2B, fractal plan for coping with unplanned-for user communities? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? We here at mister anchovy realize that it is better to brand iteravely than to productize micro-extensibly. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for dealing with emerging functionalities? We will expand our capacity to benchmark without depreciating our capacity to morph. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-purposing but our power to redefine. We understand that it is better to unleash dynamically than to synergize wirelessly. The aptitude to disintermediate efficiently leads to the aptitude to seize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be magnetic? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The intra-frictionless mission-critical next-generation user-defined, dot-com bloatware factor is cutting-edge. We here at mister anchovy realize that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to unleash virally. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most real-world web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to reinvent. We will recontextualize the term "killer". We understand that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to cultivate globally. We will scale up our power to maximize without lessening our aptitude to productize. The power to streamline intra-super-perfectly leads to the capability to brand magnetically. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!