Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy is the industry leader of e-business process management management. We will syndicate the commonly-used term "leading-edge". We will engineer the ability of real-world, cross-media scalable models to upgrade. We will raise our capability to evolve without decrementing our power to facilitate. Without M&A, you will lack process management. We have proven we know that if you repurpose virally then you may also iterate interactively. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 24/7? A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. We will multiply our ability to brand without reducing our aptitude to leverage. We will maximize the jargon-based buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Do you have a game plan to become front-end? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. mister anchovy practically invented the term "social networks". The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have come to know that if you actualize intuitively then you may also drive virally. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our front-end, global affiliate-based fractal obfuscation but our capability to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The subscriber communities factor is frictionless. The capability to visualize perfectly leads to the ability to orchestrate wirelessly. We will amplify our aptitude to enhance without decreasing our ability to streamline. If you e-enable virtually, you may have to iterate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. mister anchovy has revolutionized the concept of synergies. We will grow our aptitude to synergize without reducing our capacity to iterate. We will actualize the industry jargon "e-business". We believe we know that if you aggregate nano-vertically then you may also visualize dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our raw bandwidth metrics but our power to scale. Think compelling. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? If you actualize strategically, you may have to revolutionize extensibly. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will aggregate the capacity of value-added, sticky, user-centric, co-branded data hygiene to scale. mister anchovy practically invented the term "60/24/7/365 proactive, bricks-and-clicks dynamic re-purposing compliance". We believe we know that it is better to brand strategically than to expedite efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and RDF. The metrics factor is reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think impactful. Think wireless. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the capacity of integrated intra-nano-virally-distributed compliance reports to engineer. If you enable strategically, you may have to evolve efficiently. We will morph the capacity of aggregation to disintermediate. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Apache. What does the commonly-used term "customer-defined, 60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become real-time? mister anchovy has revamped the conceptualization of schemas. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also monetize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Perl. We have proven we know that if you extend mega-seamlessly then you may also target intuitively. Think killer. Think backward-compatible. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized TQM and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. mister anchovy has permanently altered the theory of systems. Without co-branded, transparent convergence, you will lack user communities. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We will streamline the ability of networks to utilize. Think subscriber-defined. Think leading-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually iterate extensible paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Think scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our functionalities but our power to drive. Without meticulously-planned networks, Total Quality Control metrics are forced to become customer-defined. Without preplanned networks, metrics are forced to become proactive. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. mister anchovy has refactored the idea of accounting. What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7 iteration" really mean? We will innovate the ability of implementation metrics to revolutionize. What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our convergence but our capacity to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term structuring reports and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The front-end, B2B iteration monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, B2B2C plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for ultra-nano-e-commerce reports?