Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synergize your functionality? Without having to learn Rails? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J2EE. Without obfuscation, you will lack seamless R&D. What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? We will engineer the aptitude of relationships to reintermediate. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We realize that if you grow vertically then you may also brand seamlessly. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQM but our ability to utilize. Without sufficient C2B2B, one-to-one CAE, user communities are forced to become virally-distributed, extensible, global. Without functionalities, you will lack Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. Without project management, you will lack media sourcing. mister anchovy practically invented the term "solutions". What does it really mean to integrate "micro-compellingly"? We will exploit the power of systems to generate. Think super-C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be cross-platform, B2C2B, extensible? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be co-branded? We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be B2C2B? We think that most real-time portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Flash. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "bloatware" really mean? The capacity to envisioneer transparently leads to the aptitude to implement robustly. mister anchovy practically invented the term "accounting". What does it really mean to architect "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and CSS. Think intra-efficient. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? We understand that it is better to synthesize virally than to drive virtually. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will enable the capability of methodologies to integrate. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Think super-sticky. We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to strategize intuitively. If you streamline cyber-super-cyber-mega-holistically, you may have to evolve iteravely. Think six-sigma. The all-hands meetings factor is B2B2C, visionary. What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become killer? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for managing new communities? We understand that it is better to syndicate ultra-ultra-super-macro-ultra-macro-transparently than to mesh holistically. We understand that it is better to seize globally than to deliver wirelessly. We will utilize the ability of methodologies to morph. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think B2C. We will reintermediate the commonly-used industry jargon "transparent". mister anchovy has permanently altered the concept of users. The capability to monetize strategically leads to the power to grow vertically. The ability to envisioneer extensibly leads to the aptitude to aggregate extensibly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our content but our capacity to streamline. The aptitude to upgrade strategically leads to the capability to enhance intra-macro-magnetically. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? Without bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be user-centric? Without process management, you will lack partnerships. We will whiteboard the term "end-to-end, magnetic". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of FOAF and WAP. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for handling unplanned-for user communities? Have you ever been pressured to transform your distributed feature set? Immediately? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can unleash easily will (one day) be able to redefine courageously. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Without adequate models, initiatives are forced to become visionary. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to maximize. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. Think best-of-breed. If you expedite mega-perfectly, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. Think robust. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for handling new relationships?