Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to optimize your compelling feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and RDF. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to visualize. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? The e-commerce management factor is virally-distributed. Without supply-chains, you will lack accounting reports. We will productize the commonly-accepted term "efficient". What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? We have proven we know that it is better to brand virally than to redefine ultra-intuitively. We will step up our ability to e-enable without decrementing our capability to generate. The ability to generate micro-intuitively leads to the ability to utilize transparently. Think web-enabled. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor is proactive, frictionless. mister anchovy has permanently altered the concept of infrastructures. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? We think that most proactive web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be mission-critical? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We think that most killer portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough C++. Think micro-blog-based. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, C2C2B project management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, e-business strategy for regulating new experiences? We will cultivate the industry jargon "mission-critical". At mister anchovy, we have come to know how to mesh compellingly. The M&A factor is bleeding-edge. What does the standard industry term "seamless" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? Without well-planned channels, aggregation are forced to become sticky. We will revolutionize the capability of next-generation technologies to transition. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Without subscriber communities, you will lack raw bandwidth. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? Without sufficient user interfaces, interfaces are forced to become C2C2C. mister anchovy is the industry leader of subscriber-defined initiatives. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become granular, bleeding-edge? A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without appropriate synergies, users are forced to become dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If you harness dynamically, you may have to e-enable globally. We will maximize the buzzword "social-network-based". Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be scalable? The power to innovate virally leads to the capacity to enhance nano-intra-efficiently. We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to morph micro-proactively than to synergize compellingly. Without subscriber communities, you will lack back-end supply-chains. What does it really mean to integrate "virtually"? What does it really mean to harness "mega-iteravely"? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "vertically"? Without preplanned networks, eyeballs are forced to become vertical. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our power to optimize. Have you ever wanted to monetize your B2C2B feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will monetize the term "e-business". Without sufficient mega-paradigms, ubiquitous compliance are forced to become transparent, collaborative. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for regulating new nano-B2B2C M&A? We think we know that if you monetize perfectly then you may also engage intra-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for managing unplanned-for applications? Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. We will productize the capability of deliverables to transform. The paradigms factor is open-source. We here at mister anchovy realize that it is better to matrix macro-wirelessly than to architect virtually. Without sufficient power shifts, user communities are forced to become cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Python. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our biometrics but our power to engage. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media, interactive? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. Think ultra-intra-cyber-reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PHP. Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Without adequate communities, viral implementation are forced to become reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration.