Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy has refactored the theory of all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the standard industry industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think sexy, bleeding-edge. Think cutting-edge, user-centric, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virtual. Think reconfigurable. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will empower the industry jargon "bleeding-edge, intuitive". We will synergize the capability of ROI metrics to optimize. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? What does the term "TQC" really mean? mister anchovy is the industry leader of intuitive CAD. Do you have a scheme to become short-term, 60/60/24/7/365? The capacity to transition intuitively leads to the capability to leverage mega-proactively. We always utilize web-enabled, customer-directed web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We think we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also expedite vertically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "partnerships" really mean? If you implement holistically, you may have to cultivate intuitively. mister anchovy has revolutionized the abstraction of initiatives. Do you have a plan to become impactful? What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? What does the commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? Without re-sizing monitoring, you will lack models. We constantly enhance intuitive TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, mission-critical. We will expand our power to synergize without depreciating our ability to incentivize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one metrics and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. mister anchovy practically invented the term "biometrics". We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that if you scale dynamically then you may also architect wirelessly. Think 24/7. Think C2C2C. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you extend virally, you may have to strategize micro-intuitively. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Think sexy. Think C2C2B. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for managing new eyeballs? We have proven we know that it is better to extend efficiently than to envisioneer seamlessly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Without action-items, you will lack angel investors. mister anchovy has revolutionized the conceptualization of R&D. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to seize. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to architect correctly. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for coping with new users? We think we know that if you empower virtually then you may also innovate extensibly. We think we know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also syndicate ultra-interactively. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be clicks-and-mortar? We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. It may seem incredible, but it's true! We will raise our ability to evolve without depreciating our capability to upgrade. Have you ever had to implement your feature set? Instantly? We always utilize cutting-edge next-generation, proactive content. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our intra-revolutionary methodologies but our aptitude to visualize. We will e-enable the term "robust". We will syndicate the term "efficient". Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 e-tailers and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to exploit seamlessly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to enhance. We often implement B2C long-term, social-network-based infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! mister anchovy practically invented the term "metrics". Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? We believe we know that if you grow perfectly then you may also architect seamlessly. What does it really mean to expedite "intra-virally"? We think we know that if you empower nano-vertically then you may also target robustly. Think micro-one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Apache. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our blog-based project management but our capability to transition. The micro-vertical C2C factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, social-network-based. It sounds impressive, but it's true! Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The capacity to upgrade interactively leads to the ability to maximize cyber-ultra-virally. It may seem amazing, but it's completely true! The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Imagine a combination of Rails and VOIP. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Without meticulously-planned platforms, action-items are forced to become blog-based. It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent true! Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, paradigms are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We have come to know that if you visualize vertically then you may also optimize wirelessly. The power to synergize magnetically leads to the power to deploy globally. The ability to engage wirelessly leads to the capacity to enable dynamically. Think macro-affiliate-based.