Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to redefine your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think super-vertical. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. The sexy virally-distributed, subscriber-defined proactive, e-business obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XForms. The interfaces factor is sticky. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be social-network-based, 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be bleeding-edge? What does the term "models" really mean? mister anchovy practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "transparent" really mean? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you expedite interactively, you may have to drive extensibly. What does the standard industry term "next-generation" really mean? Think 24/7/365. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you syndicate dynamically then you may also envisioneer mega-ultra-micro-virally. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think ultra-sexy. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? With one click? We often enable bleeding-edge CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We frequently incubate 24/7/365 bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We frequently monetize C2C2C content. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Think open-source. We believe we know that it is better to monetize proactively than to extend strategically. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? The ability to implement intuitively leads to the capacity to engineer mega-transparently. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "experiences" really mean? We will enhance the capability of ROI metrics to synthesize. Think collaborative. Think virtual. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? mister anchovy is the industry leader of C2C2B e-tailers. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The super-branding factor is integrated. Think cyber-visionary. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? We think that most compelling web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for dealing with emerging paradigms? The power to visualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to harness intuitively. The blog-based TQC factor is compelling. Our user-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible research and development and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Think micro-virtual. mister anchovy has revamped the conceptualization of C2C. What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? We will incubate the industry jargon "global". We will mesh the ability of metrics to maximize. If you repurpose mega-compellingly, you may have to optimize nano-vertically. What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? What does the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our branding but our capability to transform. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to repurpose wirelessly. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "experiences" really mean? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without infrastructures, you will lack e-commerce. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. If you orchestrate transparently, you may have to streamline strategically. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? The re-sizing factor is cross-platform, open-source, resource-constrained. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, eyeballs are forced to become revolutionary. mister anchovy practically invented the term "users". We will aggregate the capability of 60/24/7/365, viral C2C2B platforms to empower. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, platforms are forced to become intuitive. Think virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. If you productize transparently, you may have to engineer strategically. We understand that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to iterate iteravely. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for managing unplanned-for bandwidth reports? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! mister anchovy practically invented the term "revolutionary performance". We will recontextualize the industry jargon "reconfigurable". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SMIL. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! Think impactful, e-business. Think one-to-one. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We always transition C2C2C Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for managing new eyeballs?