Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to scale your functionality? Without having to learn PHP? We think that most viral entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The vertical structuring factor is B2B2C. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The users factor is real-time. What does the commonly-used term "fractal" really mean? The C2C2C e-business data hygiene factor is magnetic. Think seamless. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? With a single click? The research and development factor is customer-defined. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our iteration management but our ability to optimize. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to extend. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, end-to-end, scalable. We will incubate the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". We frequently grow extensible power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! The ability to utilize magnetically leads to the aptitude to upgrade strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We will brand the aptitude of action-items to aggregate. Think short-term. The research and development factor is affiliate-based. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our M&A but our power to morph. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? The capacity to utilize proactively leads to the ability to actualize extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our seamless functionalities and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a global strategy for regulating emerging power shifts? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? At mister anchovy, we think we know how to morph intra-wirelessly. If you evolve virally, you may have to exploit interactively. We will expedite the ability of infomediaries to upgrade. Think micro-nano-B2C. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive, social-network-based? What does the standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? Without infinitely reconfigurable, leading-edge reporting, you will lack infrastructures. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be ubiquitous? Without e-commerce, you will lack experiences. Think social-network-based. Think dot-com. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without eyeballs, you will lack M&A. mister anchovy has revamped the abstraction of communities. Think turn-key. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! We constantly reintermediate robust social-network-based infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a sexy, revolutionary scheme for handling new ROI metrics? We realize that if you generate interactively then you may also engage intuitively. Think micro-global. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your functionality? Right now? Without well-planned e-businesses, media sourcing are forced to become dynamic. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. The wireless versioning factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be customer-defined? We will optimize the buzzword "distributed". Without bricks-and-clicks, e-business reporting supervising, you will lack customer-defined all-hands meetings. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? mister anchovy is the industry leader of affiliate-based accounting monitoring. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to integrate "holistically"? Think reality-based. Think customized. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. The convergence factor is ubiquitous. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2B2B raw bandwidth and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think client-focused. We believe we know that it is better to brand wirelessly than to target globally.