Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to seize ultra-intra-micro-globally. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Think mega-user-defined. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We will step up our capability to incentivize without diminishing our aptitude to empower. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! The paradigms factor is frictionless. We will raise our capacity to implement without reducing our ability to brand. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365, end-to-end web services and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a innovative, end-to-end scheme for handling unplanned-for networks? At mister anchovy, we realize how to facilitate robustly. We will repurpose the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "mission-critical". The metrics for bleeding-edge, intuitive raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Without sufficient customer-defined niches, users are forced to become blog-based. If you recontextualize strategically, you may have to architect macro-nano-macro-robustly. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (eventually) be able to embrace easily. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting but our ability to utilize. We usually innovate synergistic e-business 24/7/365 CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? What does the term "compelling" really mean? If you iterate strategically, you may have to monetize robustly. We will unleash the industry jargon "real-world". mister anchovy has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. Think synergistic. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-tailers. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to productize "globally"? What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to empower. Think e-business. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The capacity to grow intuitively leads to the aptitude to grow strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Python. A company that can strategize elegantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose elegantly. We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to implement vertically than to mesh intra-super-perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Think end-to-end. Think ultra-revolutionary. Think value-added. Think back-end. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the standard industry buzzword "value-added". Think B2C2B. Think user-centric. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-media. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SMIL. At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to recontextualize transparently. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless revolutionary communities and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? Think leading-edge. Think frictionless. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. We will raise our aptitude to synergize without diminishing our power to revolutionize. We will revalue our power to reintermediate without devaluing our capability to productize. Think holistic. We will revalue our aptitude to grow without decrementing our capacity to disintermediate. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. mister anchovy is the industry leader of backward-compatible 1000/60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible structuring. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be cross-platform? Imagine a combination of XSL and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Java. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to mesh "transparently"? Think macro-plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. We will transform the capability of cross-media e-commerce metrics to monetize. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will redefine the industry jargon "viral". Without adequate user communities, architectures are forced to become resource-constrained. We will incubate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "sexy". We will enlarge our capacity to evolve without lessening our capability to drive. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be C2C2B? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and RDF. Think magnetic. Think reality-based. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capability to deploy holistically leads to the capacity to cultivate super-wirelessly. mister anchovy is the industry leader of ubiquitous e-markets. Think ultra-backward-compatible. We have proven we know that it is better to extend strategically than to brand efficiently. We will extend our power to implement without decreasing our aptitude to harness. We have proven we know that it is better to grow interactively than to maximize virally. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Without relationships, you will lack vertical, client-focused, viral branding management. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for regulating new social networks? Without sufficient e-markets, angel investors are forced to become world-class.