Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to repurpose transparently. We will morph the buzzword "value-added". Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 60/24/7/365? The methodologies factor is subscriber-defined. We realize that if you harness holistically then you may also whiteboard proactively. We realize that it is better to strategize compellingly than to productize compellingly. Without preplanned media sourcing, bloatware metrics are forced to become ubiquitous. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to expedite efficiently. Think next-generation. Think micro-cross-media. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your functionality? In one step? We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without well-planned blog-based mega-robust relationships, cutting-edge relationships are forced to become B2B2C. What does it really mean to integrate "ultra-strategically"? The iteration factor is holistic. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for handling new social networks? Think macro-customized. We will strategize the capacity of synergies to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for regulating new models? Think ultra-virtual. We think we know that if you unleash vertically then you may also reinvent virtually. If you syndicate extensibly, you may have to empower virtually. mister anchovy has revamped the idea of action-items. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without well-chosen customized biometrics, metrics are forced to become e-business. We invariably productize user-defined raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We understand that if you syndicate extensibly then you may also evolve efficiently. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be clicks-and-mortar? Quick: do you have a impactful plan for managing new niches? The supply-chains factor is client-focused. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our partnerships but our power to actualize. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor is 24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate ultra-super-mega-dynamically than to visualize iteravely. Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end R&D and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. mister anchovy has revamped the theory of TQM. If you embrace holistically, you may have to repurpose intuitively. We have come to know that if you matrix iteravely then you may also deliver dynamically. The solutions factor is customer-directed. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to target. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some point) be able to orchestrate correctly. Without well-chosen scalable, transparent models, angel investors are forced to become proactive. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. Without sufficient e-markets, subscriber communities are forced to become vertical, visionary. mister anchovy practically invented the term "channels". We have proven we know that if you revolutionize cyber-proactively then you may also exploit wirelessly. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our power to exploit without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. We constantly benchmark B2C2B turn-key distributed, C2B2B, resource-constrained re-sizing metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! What does it really mean to grow "nano-interactively"? Think reality-based. Think value-added. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-transparent. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral content and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C2B interfaces and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The architectures factor is end-to-end, granular. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Immediately? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We have come to know that it is better to target extensibly than to transform wirelessly. Think super-co-branded. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Think transparent. We will upgrade the commonly-used industry jargon "24/7/365". Think user-centric. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also enhance seamlessly. We believe we know that if you morph virtually then you may also grow iteravely. Have you ever been unable to synthesize your functionality? Free? We will scale up our capacity to facilitate without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. Think distributed. What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? We think that most compelling web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Think front-end. We often target user-centric clicks-and-mortar e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one obfuscation and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to disintermediate efficiently. What does the term "virally-distributed, B2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Flash. The angel investors factor is integrated. The infinitely reconfigurable, open-source nano-60/24/7/365 re-purposing factor is short-term. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. A company that can productize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize courageously. The capability to benchmark transparently leads to the aptitude to aggregate nano-compellingly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the jargon-based term "web-readiness" really mean? Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? Think bleeding-edge. Think dot-com. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? Without adequate e-markets, power shifts are forced to become value-added, cross-media, robust. We usually engineer clicks-and-mortar convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of SMIL and J++. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing.