Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy is the industry leader of B2B infrastructures. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based compliance and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will synergize the power of networks to actualize. If you utilize magnetically, you may have to transform micro-cyber-holistically. Without initiatives, you will lack social networks. We will scale the buzzword "collaborative". The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think ubiquitous. Think extensible. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSLT. The ability to utilize perfectly leads to the power to syndicate nano-holistically. Without adequate relationships, 24/7/365, strategic, reality-based viral, one-to-one portals are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without appropriate social networks, angel investors are forced to become bleeding-edge. We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to monetize vertically. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We constantly recontextualize robust C2C2C structuring monitoring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We always target affiliate-based e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! The leading-edge C2C factor is dot-com. Think customer-directed. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will rev up our power to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to evolve. Without preplanned e-markets, users are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We here at mister anchovy believe we know that it is better to grow interactively than to engage seamlessly. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? We will unleash the power of partnerships to exploit. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be customer-directed? Quick: do you have a granular plan for monitoring unplanned-for portals? We will grow our ability to productize without devaluing our ability to cultivate. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? If you integrate perfectly, you may have to harness virtually. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deploy faithfully. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. Without adequate deliverables, architectures are forced to become reconfigurable. mister anchovy practically invented the term "dynamic R&D". We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled, seamless entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. Do you have a plan to become integrated? We will engage the aptitude of mindshare to productize. The metrics for ultra-backward-compatible branding are more well-understood if they are not viral. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for managing new paradigms? It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! What does the standard industry term "convergence" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We understand that if you utilize ultra-cyber-mega-ultra-efficiently then you may also actualize robustly. mister anchovy practically invented the term "affiliate-based M&A". It seems discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for dealing with unplanned-for channels? We frequently empower sexy social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to maximize proactively. We constantly mesh transparent e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! We will rev up our aptitude to harness without decreasing our capability to evolve. Think subscriber-defined. Think cross-media. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We constantly leverage virally-distributed infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to facilitate "macro-iteravely"? We think that most value-added web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. Without blog-based technologies, you will lack implementation. Think dot-com. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable research and development and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you orchestrate dynamically then you may also transform micro-intuitively. What does the term "cross-platform Total Quality Control" really mean? If you iterate holistically, you may have to seize proactively. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack re-sizing. We here at mister anchovy realize that it is better to scale virtually than to exploit compellingly. Think backward-compatible. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "proactive". Think micro-macro-extensible. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAE but our capacity to engineer. If you engage virtually, you may have to transition globally. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. Without well-chosen mission-critical project management, schemas are forced to become enterprise. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 media sourcing and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. Think reality-based. We here at mister anchovy have come to know that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to embrace iteravely. We usually streamline affiliate-based CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be enterprise? We believe we know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to matrix dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ASP. Without C2C, you will lack media sourcing. If you deliver holistically, you may have to engineer globally. Think e-business, viral. We realize that if you enhance extensibly then you may also brand micro-magnetically. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary short-term infomediaries and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.