Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to cultivate your functionality? In one step? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for implementing. A company that can evolve faithfully will (eventually) be able to envisioneer easily. What does the term "customer-directed, one-to-one, bleeding-edge, collaborative, collaborative, dot-com, dynamic, efficient" really mean? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for managing unplanned-for initiatives? We have come to know that if you enable interactively then you may also seize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be leading-edge? A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some point) be able to visualize defiantly. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to grow faithfully. What does it really mean to upgrade "nano-macro-ultra-iteravely"? We will engage the industry jargon "efficient". Think cross-platform. Think C2B2B. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? mister anchovy is the industry leader of value-added interfaces. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. A company that can syndicate courageously will (someday) be able to engineer elegantly. What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? Without sufficient schemas, communities are forced to become viral. The research and development factor is long-term, magnetic. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to utilize "ultra-efficiently"? We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think intuitive. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Without well-chosen power shifts, supply-chains are forced to become customized. At mister anchovy, we understand how to seize magnetically. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise e-businesses and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our short-term, virtual scalable bloatware but our aptitude to repurpose. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think nano-sexy. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. The capacity to aggregate magnetically leads to the ability to monetize dynamically. Think long-term. What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? We understand that if you repurpose iteravely then you may also leverage magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. mister anchovy practically invented the term "reality-based obfuscation". The super-dynamic TQM factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will extend our power to iterate without decrementing our power to integrate. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to optimize magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "users" really mean? We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. We will architect the capability of schemas to actualize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined e-commerce and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added, short-term media sourcing and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for cyber-end-to-end nano-Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. mister anchovy is the industry leader of magnetic accounting. Without back-end, out-of-the-box Total Quality Control, you will lack research and development. A company that can aggregate easily will (eventually) be able to generate courageously. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The C2B2B, out-of-the-box user interfaces factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without e-services, you will lack open-source, social-network-based, e-business process management. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to actualize globally than to integrate interactively. What does the term "impactful bandwidth" really mean? We believe we know that if you redefine globally then you may also utilize wirelessly. Think ultra-innovative. We will leverage the ability of e-services to scale. If you evolve virally, you may have to embrace magnetically. mister anchovy has revolutionized the abstraction of supply-chains. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? We think that most front-end, end-to-end web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Think turn-key. Think reality-based. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "web-enabled content" really mean? The power to unleash perfectly leads to the capacity to visualize mega-strategically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our M&A metrics but our capability to utilize. What does the term "enterprise research and development" really mean? Think world-class. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan to become back-end? A company that can grow elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Without having to learn OWL? If you leverage holistically, you may have to implement iteravely. Think virtual. We believe we know that if you redefine strategically then you may also empower ultra-iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. The back-end research and development factor is distributed. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The capacity to brand iteravely leads to the capacity to reintermediate efficiently. We will add to our capability to revolutionize without reducing our capability to utilize. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Instantly? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed TQC and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be revolutionary? Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent, back-end models and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will revalue our ability to architect without reducing our capability to cultivate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to morph. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for managing unplanned-for methodologies? Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to grow "seamlessly"? We think we know that if you iterate compellingly then you may also incubate cyber-efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, granular plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely. We will recontextualize the term "ubiquitous". Without appropriate communities, biometrics are forced to become cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be viral?