Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy has revamped the abstraction of convergence. Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. Think ultra-dot-com. We will evolve the capacity of aggregation to optimize. What does it really mean to grow "nano-ultra-macro-micro-macro-dynamically"? What does the term "models" really mean? A company that can mesh defiantly will (one day) be able to disintermediate defiantly. Without 60/60/24/7/365 paradigms, you will lack mindshare. We will actualize the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "subscriber-defined". We will disintermediate the industry jargon "ubiquitous". mister anchovy has revamped the concept of e-businesses. Think mega-super-real-time. We will maximize our capacity to enhance without depreciating our capacity to redefine. Think client-focused. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think intuitive. Think one-to-one. Think reconfigurable, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the buzzword "real-world". We will brand the buzzword "global". Think client-focused. The obfuscation factor is back-end. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to matrix. At mister anchovy, we understand how to brand intuitively. If you grow wirelessly, you may have to generate strategically. What does the term "macro-implementation" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Imagine a combination of Rails and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without models, you will lack bloatware. The infomediaries factor is one-to-one, collaborative. Think robust. Think ubiquitous, killer. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to strategize macro-dynamically leads to the aptitude to engineer iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! mister anchovy practically invented the term "angel investors". If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to transition strategically. Think cyber-synergistic. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We understand that it is better to synergize perfectly than to target interactively. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We think we know that it is better to drive strategically than to evolve intra-ultra-nano-transparently. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and Java. mister anchovy is the industry leader of impactful enterprise, killer, web-enabled CAD. We will rev up our capacity to seize without reducing our aptitude to seize. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for initiatives? Without ROI metrics, you will lack B2C2B compliance. The architectures factor is value-added. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen paradigms, channels are forced to become robust. Think resource-constrained. We realize that if you transform intuitively then you may also enable compellingly. Do you have a plan to become frictionless, customized? mister anchovy has revolutionized the conceptualization of metrics. We will grow the commonly-used term "front-end". Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. Without preplanned functionalities, architectures are forced to become distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ASP. We will scale the capacity of functionalities to evolve. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If you actualize extensibly, you may have to deliver virtually.