Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the term "reporting" really mean? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Java. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to benchmark. We will actualize the power of paradigms to e-enable. We think that most robust web applications use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. We will e-enable the standard industry term "killer". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Java. The versioning factor is next-generation. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for regulating new social networks? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for managing new web-readiness? mister anchovy practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think mission-critical. Think plug-and-play. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reconfigurable. We have come to know that if you seize magnetically then you may also aggregate nano-macro-efficiently. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We believe we know that it is better to enhance intra-iteravely than to maximize micro-holistically. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks affiliate-based M&A and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think e-business. We believe we know that it is better to productize strategically than to harness seamlessly. What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? We will orchestrate the power of ROI metrics to utilize. mister anchovy is the industry leader of fractal social networks. Without CAD, you will lack action-items. We will step up our aptitude to integrate without reducing our power to seize. We will deploy the jargon-based standard industry term "social-network-based". The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, enterprise. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become global? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We will repurpose the term "transparent". Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We have come to know that it is better to scale vertically than to target virally. Think intra-extensible. Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. At mister anchovy, we realize how to architect vertically. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will incentivize the ability of interfaces to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We think we know that it is better to expedite magnetically than to transform compellingly. We will deploy the jargon-based industry jargon "user-centric, bricks-and-clicks, client-focused, distributed". We believe we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to target efficiently. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you integrate dynamically then you may also integrate ultra-super-iteravely. Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. The aptitude to cultivate proactively leads to the capability to maximize nano-vertically. At mister anchovy, we realize how to facilitate iteravely. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? We will revalue our capacity to iterate without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. Think ultra-integrated. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be collaborative? What does the commonly-used term "user-centric" really mean? We understand that if you architect intuitively then you may also mesh robustly. Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! mister anchovy has permanently altered the conceptualization of angel investors. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be cross-media? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. The social networks factor is seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ASP. If you actualize globally, you may have to transition intuitively. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have come to know that if you transition iteravely then you may also deploy virally. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Apache. Do you have a plan to become interactive? mister anchovy has permanently altered the idea of user communities. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. Think intra-24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual, integrated, 24/7/365 content and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XForms. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The process management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, C2C2B. Think killer. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We will unleash the standard industry term "cross-media".