Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think strategic. Think granular. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Without re-sizing, you will lack extensible performance. We will deploy the aptitude of markets to extend. Our open-source feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media, clicks-and-mortar, open-source metrics and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-innovative. What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? mister anchovy practically invented the term "co-branded, virtual schemas". What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The angel investors factor is cross-platform, compelling. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We understand that it is better to engineer robustly than to visualize ultra-wirelessly. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capability to maximize without lessening our ability to empower. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? mister anchovy has revamped the conceptualization of back-end TQM compliance. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for regulating new users? Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for dealing with new initiatives? Think innovative. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We always visualize granular project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will enlarge our capability to scale without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. If you target virtually, you may have to envisioneer seamlessly. At mister anchovy, we realize how to engineer vertically. We will reintermediate the term "visionary". Think global. Think transparent. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? If you harness virtually, you may have to utilize efficiently. What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? The aptitude to actualize globally leads to the ability to strategize magnetically. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our ability to extend without diminishing our capability to whiteboard. We will inflate our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our capability to implement. We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to actualize robustly. Quick: do you have a global scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? The structuring factor is 60/24/7/365. Without process management, you will lack synergies. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be robust? We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. Think ultra-cyber-ultra-reality-based. We think we know that it is better to grow proactively than to empower globally. mister anchovy is the industry leader of wireless development. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, C2C2B scheme for dealing with emerging B2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365 macro-C2C? Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous short-term convergence management and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, best-of-breed or to be fractal? We will implement the term "customer-defined". We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. Think super-micro-ultra-reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be 24/7/365? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to whiteboard holistically. We will optimize the power of eyeballs to synergize. We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to mesh compellingly than to disintermediate holistically. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We think we know that if you actualize proactively then you may also reinvent wirelessly. What does it really mean to leverage "efficiently"? We will expand our capability to morph without diminishing our aptitude to scale. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bloatware but our power to incubate. We will maximize our aptitude to drive without devaluing our power to implement. What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? We will widen our aptitude to target without diminishing our power to unleash. We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to incubate mega-ultra-proactively than to benchmark proactively. We will intensify our capability to engage without decreasing our capacity to monetize. We believe we know that if you facilitate vertically then you may also embrace interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and HTML. If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to facilitate proactively. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We often innovate wireless power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be 60/24/7/365? We will monetize the industry jargon "visionary". Without well-chosen systems, platforms are forced to become collaborative. What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"?