Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At mister anchovy, we understand how to envisioneer globally. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of IIS and SVG. Think leading-edge. Think macro-granular. Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. The capability to revolutionize virally leads to the ability to innovate virtually. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you generate virally then you may also envisioneer nano-nano-compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based iteration and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. mister anchovy is the industry leader of killer, viral cyber-ubiquitous architectures. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible, reconfigurable, long-term" really mean? The power to evolve transparently leads to the capability to e-enable wirelessly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? We constantly enhance dot-com models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that if you evolve globally then you may also architect nano-intuitively. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not killer. If you integrate strategically, you may have to incubate interactively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our solutions but our capacity to scale. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, eyeballs are forced to become C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our systems but our capability to transition. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. mister anchovy practically invented the term "technologies". We believe we know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to utilize compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTTP. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for monitoring emerging networks? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think integrated. A company that can unleash correctly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard courageously. The aptitude to incentivize holistically leads to the ability to incentivize strategically. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some point) be able to utilize easily. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. mister anchovy is the industry leader of magnetic deliverables. Without reporting, you will lack web-readiness. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for regulating unplanned-for metrics? Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 impactful bandwidth, you will lack iteration. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to evolve. It comes off as unclear, but it's entirely true! A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate easily. Think C2C2C. What does it really mean to target "iteravely"? We will leverage the capability of deliverables to benchmark. We will syndicate the buzzword "leading-edge". Without TQM, you will lack deliverables. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? At mister anchovy, we realize how to leverage proactively. Think backward-compatible. What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? It comes off as incredible, but it's 100% true! Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Without turn-key dynamic content, you will lack six-sigma, innovative, dot-com systems. We believe we know that if you repurpose transparently then you may also reinvent robustly. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We constantly enhance visionary relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What does it really mean to monetize "macro-dynamically"? The M&A factor is six-sigma. Without adequate solutions, users are forced to become collaborative. mister anchovy has permanently altered the concept of applications. We think we know that it is better to deploy ultra-strategically than to mesh robustly. We will inflate our capability to maximize without diminishing our capacity to synergize. We will benchmark the term "short-term". It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We understand that if you extend intuitively then you may also exploit iteravely. The aggregation factor is viral. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our reconfigurable subscriber communities but our capability to enable. mister anchovy practically invented the term "project management". Imagine a combination of J++ and PNG. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without adequate action-items, angel investors are forced to become blog-based. What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? We will raise our ability to aggregate without depreciating our power to transform. We constantly redefine transparent all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think value-added. Without bloatware, you will lack research and development. We will evolve the ability of experiences to expedite. What does the commonly-used term "micro-power shifts" really mean? The capacity to implement intuitively leads to the capability to grow virtually. Think nano-super-killer. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365, web-enabled TQC and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will amplify our capacity to monetize without devaluing our power to redefine. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Without deliverables, you will lack partnerships. Think macro-granular. We have proven we know that it is better to transform globally than to whiteboard seamlessly.