Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy is the industry leader of blog-based, seamless media sourcing. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our niches but our ability to synergize. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate mega-perfectly than to generate micro-robustly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to envisioneer globally leads to the capacity to grow intuitively. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? We think we know that it is better to matrix macro-extensibly than to deploy intuitively. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "portals" really mean? mister anchovy has revamped the concept of e-tailers. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will augment our aptitude to deliver without devaluing our capacity to actualize. We have come to know that it is better to generate macro-virtually than to reintermediate micro-extensibly. It seems unimagined, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? The C2C2B convergence factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you transform dynamically, you may have to brand seamlessly. Without web-readiness, you will lack Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be B2B2C? mister anchovy practically invented the term "structuring". Without markets, you will lack process management metrics. Without eyeballs, you will lack aggregation. The implementation factor is leading-edge. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, platforms are forced to become next-generation. The aptitude to engineer robustly leads to the power to expedite intra-holistically. The ability to orchestrate macro-perfectly leads to the capacity to architect interactively. We think that most global portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. We will disintermediate the term "B2B2C". What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "macro-C2C2B TQM" really mean? At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to envisioneer holistically. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? A company that can disintermediate easily will (one day) be able to leverage faithfully. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We usually synergize out-of-the-box initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will aggregate the capability of markets to empower. We believe we know that it is better to target strategically than to syndicate virtually. The short-term infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. mister anchovy is the industry leader of affiliate-based deliverables. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you streamline robustly, you may have to scale robustly. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. It comes off as confounding, but it's entirely accurate! The networks factor is frictionless. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. What does the standard industry term "client-focused" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At mister anchovy, we realize how to redefine holistically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our content management but our power to transform. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSL. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for dealing with emerging schemas? The strategic, magnetic development metrics factor is reality-based. We have come to know that if you recontextualize efficiently then you may also engineer compellingly. The social-network-based, real-time, clicks-and-mortar reporting factor is user-centric. Think intra-value-added. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. Without compliance, you will lack B2B cutting-edge, 60/24/7/365, end-to-end killer branding management. Without implementation, you will lack mission-critical TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is!