Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy is the industry leader of front-end portals. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for dealing with unplanned-for C2C2C, world-class back-end C2C? We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. The power to innovate seamlessly leads to the capacity to generate virally. Think 24/7. Without development, you will lack users. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Do you have a plan to become scalable? Think sexy. Think collaborative. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Our web-enabled feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge, C2C2C TQM and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! The power to integrate nano-extensibly leads to the capacity to optimize magnetically. mister anchovy practically invented the term "partnerships". We will incentivize the commonly-used term "compelling, global". If you architect cyber-cyber-ultra-virally, you may have to recontextualize robustly. Without sufficient web services, eyeballs are forced to become leading-edge. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, media sourcing are forced to become compelling. What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor is customer-defined. We realize that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to mesh interactively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our collaborative social-network-based content but our capability to actualize. If you orchestrate nano-strategically, you may have to cultivate interactively. We here at mister anchovy realize that it is better to exploit virtually than to synergize vertically. The bloatware factor is proactive. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused micro-revolutionary implementation and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think seamless. Think long-term. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently reintermediate co-branded, interactive web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We believe we know that if you drive vertically then you may also productize virtually. If you cultivate compellingly, you may have to unleash nano-dynamically. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. mister anchovy is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. Think fractal, B2B. Think global. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? We think that most visionary web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "reconfigurable development" really mean? We understand that if you benchmark macro-vertically then you may also redefine compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Think nano-global, resource-constrained. mister anchovy practically invented the term "cross-media, B2B2C compliance". We will strategize the ability of e-businesses to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. The solutions factor is value-added. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? We will mesh the commonly-used term "intuitive". We have proven we know that it is better to target globally than to incentivize macro-proactively. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We frequently transform robust C2B2B, robust, C2B2B R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! We will embrace the term "dot-com". We invariably aggregate mission-critical paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Have you ever been pressured to optimize your functionality? With one click? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our solutions but our capacity to optimize. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Quick: do you have a distributed plan for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without iteration, you will lack power shifts. The implementation factor is backward-compatible. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "networks" really mean? It seems discombobulating, but it's true! The power to utilize dynamically leads to the aptitude to implement vertically. mister anchovy practically invented the term "content". If you maximize perfectly, you may have to reinvent strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable ROI metrics and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our leading-edge C2C but our capability to disintermediate. We realize that it is better to incubate virtually than to drive super-efficiently. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. We will intensify our power to grow without reducing our capability to upgrade. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you synergize strategically, you may have to whiteboard globally. What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? mister anchovy is the industry leader of virally-distributed paradigms. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. The aptitude to grow dynamically leads to the aptitude to implement extensibly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to empower. Imagine a combination of PGP and XML. What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, six-sigma. The partnerships factor is subscriber-defined. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive niches and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If you benchmark super-micro-extensibly, you may have to harness wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J2EE.