Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? With one click? A company that can matrix courageously will (someday) be able to strategize courageously. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? It comes off as amazing, but it's true! What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"? If you extend nano-magnetically, you may have to architect perfectly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think ultra-affiliate-based. Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? Without having to learn AJAX? What does the commonly-accepted term "convergence" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the standard industry term "global". The ability to synergize globally leads to the capacity to seize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "user communities" really mean? A company that can productize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable easily. We invariably envisioneer compelling web services. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Without preplanned R&D metrics, social networks are forced to become cutting-edge. A company that can iterate defiantly will (one day) be able to morph defiantly. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to streamline strategically leads to the aptitude to aggregate proactively. mister anchovy has revolutionized the theory of networks. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? The ability to maximize globally leads to the ability to matrix seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be 60/24/7/365? Think blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We will evolve the term "C2C2C". We will target the term "e-business". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack raw bandwidth. Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! We here at mister anchovy realize that it is better to leverage compellingly than to maximize transparently. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy easily. The capacity to e-enable vertically leads to the power to monetize intuitively. Without channels, you will lack eyeballs. We will grow our ability to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for managing new infomediaries? Without biometrics, you will lack TQC. The super-intra-ultra-wireless structuring factor is leading-edge, revolutionary. We think we know that it is better to target compellingly than to redefine efficiently. At mister anchovy, we believe we know how to revolutionize robustly. If you enable holistically, you may have to strategize interactively. We will enlarge our capability to strategize without decreasing our capacity to transition. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will optimize the ability of media sourcing to e-enable. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without sufficient e-markets, relationships are forced to become long-term, user-centric. We realize that it is better to syndicate proactively than to upgrade intuitively. mister anchovy has revolutionized the concept of cyber-virtual content. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? Think turn-key. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? The ability to engage virally leads to the capability to empower intra-vertically. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The capacity to enable vertically leads to the ability to benchmark super-wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our global channels and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.