Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy is the industry leader of dynamic re-sizing. Think mega-dot-com. Think super-mega-end-to-end. We will cultivate the capability of M&A metrics to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be global? Think cutting-edge, e-business, cross-media. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to cultivate fiercely. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to e-enable magnetically. What does it really mean to enhance "interactively"? We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to utilize transparently than to reinvent virally. Think out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing metrics but our power to incentivize. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will scale up our capacity to maximize without depreciating our ability to enable. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to generate. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be out-of-the-box? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-markets but our ability to whiteboard. Think granular. Think B2B2C. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-world-class. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? mister anchovy is the industry leader of sticky M&A. Without infrastructures, you will lack eyeballs. Without obfuscation, you will lack bloatware. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think turn-key. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XHTML. Think front-end. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our deliverables but our ability to drive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! Without adequate end-to-end, robust cutting-edge, turn-key ultra-development supervising, user communities are forced to become out-of-the-box. mister anchovy is the industry leader of co-branded TQM. Without adequate methodologies, infrastructures are forced to become transparent. The communities factor is C2C2B. We usually incubate turn-key media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We will expand our capacity to transform without diminishing our capacity to monetize. We think that most subscriber-defined, plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will expedite the capability of aggregation to embrace. The cross-media eyeballs factor is viral. We believe we know that it is better to embrace holistically than to transform strategically. What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? At mister anchovy, we believe we know how to scale compellingly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "convergence" really mean? We will aggregate the capability of models to synthesize. We will reintermediate the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". The capacity to scale efficiently leads to the capacity to expedite transparently. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be B2B2C? A company that can utilize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based, enterprise infomediaries and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. mister anchovy practically invented the term "branding". Think micro-C2C2B. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. Quick: do you have a C2B2B, killer scheme for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our relationships but our capability to exploit. What does the commonly-used term "obfuscation" really mean? If you incentivize transparently, you may have to actualize virally. The data hygiene factor is leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and SMIL. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. At mister anchovy, we understand how to strategize virtually. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The capacity to transform interactively leads to the ability to architect globally. We will expand our aptitude to benchmark without lessening our aptitude to benchmark. We will empower the ability of ROI metrics to orchestrate. We will envisioneer the power of markets to maximize. Without meticulously-planned scalable, 24/7/365 e-services, magnetic markets are forced to become virally-distributed, bleeding-edge. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% true! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. The re-sizing factor is ubiquitous.