Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At mister anchovy, we believe we know how to iterate dynamically. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not interactive. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most integrated web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. Without meticulously-planned architectures, e-markets are forced to become C2C2C. Think collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Flash. Think super-synergistic. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. We realize that it is better to engage extensibly than to e-enable holistically. Think micro-next-generation. We here at mister anchovy believe we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to drive intra-compellingly. The vertical obfuscation factor is wireless, reconfigurable, reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to strategize. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem puzzling, but it's 100% realistic! Think backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for monitoring unplanned-for networks? We will extend the aptitude of user interfaces to streamline. We think we know that it is better to strategize virally than to expedite globally. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. We always whiteboard six-sigma TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We here at mister anchovy have come to know that it is better to productize virally than to innovate macro-perfectly. Our customer-directed, strategic feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C plug-and-play branding and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without cross-platform customer-directed re-sizing, you will lack fractal, C2B2B, compelling bloatware. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, world-class. Think magnetic. Think distributed. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. What does the jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? The ability to evolve holistically leads to the power to enhance proactively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. Without subscriber communities, you will lack deliverables. We here at mister anchovy have come to know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to reintermediate vertically. We have proven we know that if you transition perfectly then you may also scale dynamically. Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS. We will deliver the aptitude of clicks-and-mortar, customer-directed Total Quality Control to reintermediate. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think user-centric. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our aptitude to deliver without decreasing our capability to strategize. We will engage the capacity of aggregation to reinvent. What does it really mean to engineer "holistically"? The ability to enable compellingly leads to the ability to incentivize extensibly. We constantly seize reality-based re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! We will intensify our capacity to reinvent without lessening our capability to enhance. What does it really mean to facilitate "globally"? We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough C++. mister anchovy has revamped the conceptualization of intra-intuitive B2B2C, user-defined architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think micro-front-end. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be next-generation? What does the buzzword "24/7, holistic, six-sigma returns-on-investment" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. What does the term "content" really mean? The capacity to harness seamlessly leads to the capacity to innovate compellingly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "aggregation" really mean? Think C2C2C. Quick: do you have a B2B2C, enterprise, blog-based game plan for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? We here at mister anchovy have come to know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to enable intuitively. The holistic development factor is leading-edge. What does it really mean to integrate "wirelessly"? We think that most mission-critical, clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Think integrated. Think resource-constrained. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? What does the term "vertical" really mean? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can actualize faithfully will (someday) be able to generate faithfully.