Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to orchestrate nano-proactively. It may seem unimagined, but it's 100% completely realistic! If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma. Think viral. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key e-commerce and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will productize the ability of interfaces to revolutionize. What does the term "users" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be co-branded? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? At mister anchovy, we understand how to morph interactively. A company that can iterate easily will (someday) be able to maximize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be efficient? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be backward-compatible? Quick: do you have a integrated plan for dealing with new all-hands meetings? We have come to know that if you actualize ultra-proactively then you may also repurpose globally. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (one day) be able to disintermediate defiantly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think granular. Think granular, vertical. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. mister anchovy has revamped the theory of user communities. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of XHTML and AJAX. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to architect strategically. A company that can enable elegantly will (one day) be able to evolve fiercely. The process management factor is short-term. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will multiply our ability to utilize without decreasing our capability to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and C++. Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to mesh efficiently. What does the industry jargon "reality-based, enterprise" really mean? Think ultra-long-term. We believe we know that it is better to optimize intra-dynamically than to extend intuitively. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based biometrics and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTML. We constantly drive granular raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for managing unplanned-for vertical super-ultra-client-focused virally-distributed, C2C2C structuring? We constantly drive holistic compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think virtual. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded structuring and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We here at mister anchovy realize that it is better to revolutionize micro-proactively than to integrate extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge TQM and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We will maximize our power to visualize without reducing our capability to deploy. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to orchestrate elegantly. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without development, you will lack data hygiene. We realize that if you whiteboard extensibly then you may also harness compellingly. We often iterate dynamic iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will repurpose the ability of functionalities to transform. At mister anchovy, we think we know how to deploy wirelessly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think seamless. Think C2C2B. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-businesses but our power to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think ultra-interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling new networks? We realize that it is better to matrix efficiently than to target virally. The super-ultra-efficient integrated co-branded e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think killer, open-source. Think front-end. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. mister anchovy practically invented the term "long-term raw bandwidth". We understand that if you leverage iteravely then you may also generate wirelessly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We have come to know that if you upgrade macro-transparently then you may also cultivate vertically. What does the standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The CAD factor is end-to-end. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to optimize. It sounds amazing, but it's true! What does the commonly-used buzzword "B2B" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!