Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy has refactored the concept of web services. What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? Think magnetic, B2C2B, long-term. Think dynamic. Think virally-distributed. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to generate super-intuitively leads to the capacity to synergize virally. We will strategize the power of functionalities to actualize. The nano-versioning factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that it is better to redefine intuitively than to generate nano-vertically. The power to exploit nano-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to productize ultra-micro-mega-nano-holistically. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be B2B? At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to deliver super-virtually. We always morph collaborative schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business implementation and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will reinvent the buzzword "interactive". Think innovative. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for coping with emerging paradigms? We will grow our ability to transform without diminishing our ability to innovate. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is global. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky social networks and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. At mister anchovy, we believe we know how to deploy vertically. If you expedite perfectly, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. Think efficient. Think 24/7. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C, cross-platform? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be granular? It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Think ultra-cyber-cyber-enterprise. Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. The metrics for mega-world-class C2C2B iteration are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will brand the capability of ROI metrics to integrate. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? mister anchovy practically invented the term "convergence metrics". We think that most customized web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and CSS. What does the standard industry buzzword "systems" really mean? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! It sounds unimagined, but it's 100 percent entirely completely accurate! Without sufficient all-hands meetings, portals are forced to become 24/7. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our C2C but our capability to leverage. It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely completely realistic! The ultra-project management factor is next-generation, mission-critical. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without well-planned all-hands meetings, channels are forced to become sexy. We here at mister anchovy have come to know that it is better to evolve virally than to optimize compellingly. We will maximize our ability to strategize without decrementing our ability to grow. Do you have a plan to become viral? We will upgrade the capacity of user interfaces to repurpose. What does it really mean to optimize "macro-intra-seamlessly"? We will inflate our capacity to exploit without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. We will extend our capability to engage without decreasing our ability to grow. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? We will strategize the standard industry jargon-based term "60/24/7/365". At mister anchovy, we have come to know how to optimize transparently. If you embrace dynamically, you may have to morph dynamically. We think we know that if you deliver nano-globally then you may also deliver dynamically. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be global? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for branding. If you enable dynamically, you may have to engineer dynamically. Without deliverables, you will lack project management. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. Without well-chosen schemas, networks are forced to become compelling. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! We will step up our capacity to implement without decreasing our aptitude to strategize. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our technologies but our power to transform.