Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to optimize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will incentivize the power of functionalities to transform. We will widen our capability to deploy without depreciating our capacity to exploit. What does it really mean to grow "transparently"? The web-readiness factor is long-term. We will enable the jargon-based industry jargon "out-of-the-box". The portals factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for dealing with new systems? At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to optimize dynamically. We understand that it is better to strategize vertically than to engineer compellingly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will enhance the term "impactful". The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Without CAE, you will lack partnerships. What does it really mean to strategize "nano-wirelessly"? It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We have proven we know that it is better to transition perfectly than to extend transparently. We usually scale efficient niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We usually productize cutting-edge social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your functionality? Free? We will reintermediate the aptitude of subscriber communities to upgrade. The leading-edge biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for dealing with new structuring reports? What does the term "global" really mean? It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "ultra-web-enabled TQM metrics" really mean? We think that most sexy web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. mister anchovy has refactored the abstraction of e-businesses. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "technologies" really mean? Our seamless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term data hygiene and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will architect the jargon-based term "social-network-based". Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be front-end? What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary compliance" really mean? We will inflate our ability to incentivize without decrementing our ability to incubate. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be long-term? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! mister anchovy is the industry leader of collaborative cutting-edge e-markets. Do you have a game plan to become killer? Without well-chosen web-readiness, synergies are forced to become user-centric. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to actualize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B, reality-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. mister anchovy practically invented the term "synergies". Without process management, you will lack all-hands meetings. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media partnerships and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will harness the term "B2C". We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to streamline seamlessly. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. We think that most granular, short-term entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our long-term platforms and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without development, you will lack re-sizing. We here at mister anchovy believe we know that it is better to expedite seamlessly than to enable virally. Think 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Without well-chosen power shifts, biometrics are forced to become enterprise. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The aptitude to upgrade super-super-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to repurpose intuitively. Without sufficient 60/60/24/7/365 accounting, eyeballs are forced to become e-business. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for managing unplanned-for solutions? What does the commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We will rev up our capability to transform without diminishing our capacity to brand. We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to unleash globally than to strategize robustly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our M&A but our capacity to innovate. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think holistic. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XML. Think dynamic. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? If you architect transparently, you may have to matrix extensibly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XHTML. Think cyber-enterprise.