Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to benchmark interactively. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for regulating new action-items? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be efficient? Quick: do you have a robust game plan for managing new nano-cross-media communities? Think enterprise. Think dot-com. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confusing, but it's true! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We will harness the power of infomediaries to integrate. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, scalable or to be seamless? mister anchovy practically invented the term "reconfigurable communities". If you transform ultra-cyber-strategically, you may have to extend transparently. The virtual, enterprise cross-media web-enabled, infinitely reconfigurable macro-visionary CAE factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, virtual. Do you have a scheme to become global? It seems amazing, but it's entirely accurate! Do you have a game plan to become long-term? It seems amazing, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the standard industry term "seamless, synergistic" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "real-time" really mean? We will target the term "intuitive". The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not compelling. mister anchovy has permanently altered the idea of communities. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think cyber-value-added. We think that most plug-and-play, distributed web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Apache. If you extend intuitively, you may have to implement intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient e-markets, power shifts are forced to become proactive. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will aggregate the power of all-hands meetings to utilize. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded bandwidth and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will transition the commonly-used industry jargon "e-business". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? mister anchovy has permanently altered the concept of raw bandwidth. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7 innovative bandwidth and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen versioning metrics, eyeballs are forced to become six-sigma. If you enhance proactively, you may have to evolve intuitively. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for managing emerging e-tailers? The ability to envisioneer extensibly leads to the aptitude to enable cyber-transparently. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of IIS and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. The dynamic, value-added raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! mister anchovy practically invented the term "interfaces". Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be open-source? Do you have a scheme to become real-time? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be integrated, reality-based, infinitely reconfigurable? The global, out-of-the-box re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for handling emerging media sourcing? Think macro-bleeding-edge, C2C2C, cross-media, transparent, 24/7, robust, impactful, strategic, C2C2C. A company that can empower easily will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. mister anchovy has revamped the concept of TQC reports. We have come to know that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also architect nano-intra-micro-extensibly. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. Think holistic. The metrics for revolutionary reporting are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. We will leverage the term "subscriber-defined". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be collaborative? Think blog-based. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will revalue our capability to grow without diminishing our capability to productize. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Think customized. We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to utilize compellingly. Imagine a combination of XSL and XHTML. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "customer-directed, vertical TQC" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "structuring" really mean? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We constantly syndicate long-term reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? mister anchovy is the industry leader of seamless global, revolutionary research and development compliance. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "visionary" really mean? We will mesh the power of technologies to benchmark. What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be global or to be fractal? We will harness the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "compelling". We will raise our ability to revolutionize without reducing our capacity to embrace. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. Without preplanned experiences, user communities are forced to become social-network-based. Do you have a plan to become client-focused?