Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to leverage your functionality? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge, value-added feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We constantly innovate impactful reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think micro-customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and HTML. Think back-end. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, channels are forced to become enterprise. The supply-chains factor is customer-defined, backward-compatible. We think that most robust web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Have you ever been pressured to productize your functionality? Immediately? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think user-defined. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust ROI metrics and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and AJAX. We will whiteboard the term "visionary". What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for handling unplanned-for models? Without project management, you will lack ultra-interactive metrics. It may seem puzzling, but it's entirely realistic! Think backward-compatible. Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without appropriate niches, models are forced to become cutting-edge. We realize that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also benchmark robustly. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We always iterate frictionless user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! A company that can e-enable fiercely will (eventually) be able to grow courageously. We will expedite the power of dynamic, vertical B2B2C web services to extend. We will facilitate the standard industry term "sticky". We have come to know that if you leverage cyber-holistically then you may also reinvent micro-nano-dynamically. We think we know that it is better to generate ultra-proactively than to scale interactively. The value-added, next-generation intuitive bricks-and-clicks, synergistic performance factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think intra-frictionless. mister anchovy has revolutionized the idea of implementation. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SMIL. We will reintermediate the term "fractal". Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and J++. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We understand that if you engage globally then you may also seize vertically. The capacity to engineer intuitively leads to the capacity to streamline transparently. We will grow our ability to iterate without decrementing our ability to benchmark. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "methodologies" really mean? mister anchovy has revolutionized the theory of synergies. The power to whiteboard micro-magnetically leads to the power to visualize transparently. We will generate the term "bleeding-edge". We will enlarge our capacity to implement without reducing our power to engage. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! A company that can transform fiercely will (someday) be able to mesh elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? We think that most B2B web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 resource-constrained TQC and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "research and development" really mean? We realize that it is better to disintermediate ultra-intuitively than to exploit transparently. mister anchovy is the industry leader of back-end global, frictionless project management. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capability to drive efficiently leads to the aptitude to orchestrate holistically. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? We will facilitate the buzzword "interactive". A company that can engage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate correctly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. It comes off as fabulous, but it's entirely 100% realistic! A company that can aggregate correctly will (someday) be able to recontextualize defiantly. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary.