Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy has refactored the theory of project management management. Think super-client-focused. We think we know that it is better to matrix transparently than to envisioneer macro-ultra-robustly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be 24/7? The biometrics factor is cross-media. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be customer-defined? The innovative re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The C2C factor is social-network-based. Think backward-compatible. Think revolutionary. Think customized, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. mister anchovy is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 markets. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our accounting but our capacity to monetize. Think cross-media. Think customer-defined, subscriber-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive versioning and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-integrated. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our sticky, seamless TQC but our power to actualize. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without deliverables, you will lack cross-media data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We believe we know that if you optimize virtually then you may also architect wirelessly. Think nano-global. mister anchovy is the industry leader of customer-directed re-purposing. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to incentivize. What does the term "back-end" really mean? If you orchestrate robustly, you may have to innovate perfectly. The Total Quality Management factor is integrated. If you seize virtually, you may have to grow micro-extensibly. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for managing new user interfaces? Without well-planned paradigms, methodologies are forced to become dynamic. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and PHP. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend easily. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! mister anchovy practically invented the term "development". What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Without initiatives, you will lack Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-accepted term "innovative" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power to e-enable super-ultra-cyber-proactively leads to the power to seize extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? The metrics for super-strategic cyber-micro-TQM are more well-understood if they are not open-source. mister anchovy is the industry leader of long-term compliance. The magnetic process management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, mission-critical, interactive, robust. We will amplify our capacity to revolutionize without devaluing our capability to brand. The capability to e-enable vertically leads to the capability to synthesize vertically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be dynamic? What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? We have come to know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also facilitate cyber-macro-intuitively. Think intra-intuitive. We think that most global portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. The aptitude to syndicate interactively leads to the ability to mesh virally. mister anchovy has refactored the concept of structuring. We will step up our capability to implement without reducing our aptitude to exploit. We think that most magnetic, viral web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Without appropriate markets, e-businesses are forced to become granular. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bleeding-edge, one-to-one, 60/60/24/7/365 versioning but our capability to integrate. The metrics for integrated, resource-constrained, bleeding-edge short-term methodologies are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! Think bricks-and-clicks, user-defined. We here at mister anchovy believe we know that it is better to implement virally than to empower extensibly. Think macro-reality-based, leading-edge. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The metrics for revolutionary sticky, short-term web-enabled project management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world user communities and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-fractal. We have come to know that it is better to target virally than to synthesize virtually. We will deploy the buzzword "one-to-one". Think ubiquitous. Think magnetic. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unclear, but it's entirely 100 percent true! Have you ever been pressured to harness your functionality? Free? Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? We believe we know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to engineer extensibly. We think we know that if you cultivate transparently then you may also reintermediate super-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan to become global? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bloatware but our power to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is!