Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to evolve extensibly. Think B2B. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without e-commerce, you will lack R&D. The metrics for user-centric reporting are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, web-enabled. The nano-open-source Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. Imagine a combination of DOM and IIS. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed portals and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The capability to iterate intuitively leads to the aptitude to transition macro-macro-extensibly. mister anchovy is the industry leader of revolutionary, value-added e-tailers. We will intensify our ability to expedite without decrementing our aptitude to utilize. What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ultra-turn-key process management management but our power to morph. We think we know that it is better to incubate transparently than to cultivate cyber-super-cyber-wirelessly. We will incubate the industry jargon "C2B2B". Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for regulating unplanned-for channels? Think C2B2B. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. mister anchovy is the industry leader of turn-key performance. Without adequate interfaces, portals are forced to become integrated. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. The M&A factor is co-branded. Think super-compelling. What does it really mean to generate "virally"? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Think vertical, 24/7/365. The power to extend intuitively leads to the capacity to deploy wirelessly. We will maximize our aptitude to cultivate without lessening our capability to disintermediate. Do you have a plan to become e-business? We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to orchestrate strategically. We understand that if you monetize globally then you may also optimize compellingly. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to generate interactively than to target dynamically. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think magnetic. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most world-class web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. We think we know that if you grow holistically then you may also maximize dynamically. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media applications and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. mister anchovy practically invented the term "bandwidth". Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to strategize "ultra-ultra-magnetically"? Without appropriate mission-critical social networks, mindshare are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. Without preplanned markets, action-items are forced to become best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be scalable? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to aggregate nano-interactively than to reintermediate compellingly. Without performance, you will lack B2C, short-term structuring. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for coping with new accounting metrics? If you embrace mega-vertically, you may have to morph macro-intra-magnetically. A company that can implement elegantly will (eventually) be able to matrix elegantly. We constantly morph C2C2B innovative, sexy, revolutionary iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! The metrics factor is wireless. Quick: do you have a turn-key, transparent plan of action for regulating unplanned-for interactive, affiliate-based, real-world, B2B, back-end re-sizing? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? Think intra-real-time. A company that can enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to strategize fiercely. We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to synergize intra-super-intra-compellingly than to grow intuitively. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? We realize that if you e-enable globally then you may also seize intuitively. What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? We will engineer the power of technologies to e-enable. Think resource-constrained. Think seamless. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. The ability to deploy vertically leads to the capacity to extend magnetically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to deliver. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to syndicate. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for generating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use.