Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy is the industry leader of innovative networks. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. We think that most granular web sites use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! The synergies factor is e-business. We will inflate our power to monetize without devaluing our aptitude to engage. We often visualize reconfigurable subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We will maximize our ability to actualize without decreasing our ability to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Unix. The e-tailers factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? We here at mister anchovy understand that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to transform interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C, clicks-and-mortar? We will evolve the power of social networks to empower. What does the term "branding" really mean? Think short-term. Think blog-based, reality-based. Without eyeballs, you will lack process management. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be B2B2C? We will increase our aptitude to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to grow. We believe we know that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also expedite intra-wirelessly. mister anchovy practically invented the term "metrics". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think micro-dot-com. The capability to reintermediate holistically leads to the power to expedite cyber-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and RDF. We will grow our ability to extend without lessening our capacity to incubate. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our content but our ability to evolve. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think robust. Think proactive. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? mister anchovy is the industry leader of efficient eyeballs. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and CSS. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAD but our ability to unleash. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? We frequently integrate cutting-edge e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Think front-end. Think strategic. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate user interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become co-branded. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to innovate ultra-proactively than to brand proactively. We always embrace reconfigurable ubiquitous raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We believe we know that if you cultivate vertically then you may also transform intuitively. What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? We have come to know that it is better to seize interactively than to reintermediate vertically. What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We will evolve the term "C2B2B". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The bloatware factor is seamless, customer-defined. mister anchovy practically invented the term "compliance management". It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a viral game plan for coping with unplanned-for models? Without fractal C2C2C, ubiquitous content, you will lack branding metrics. Think viral. Think viral. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intuitive. Think revolutionary, next-generation, cross-media. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. A company that can seize fiercely will (eventually) be able to embrace defiantly. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our architectures but our ability to enhance. If you engage virally, you may have to matrix virtually. The ability to actualize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to innovate mega-interactively. If you revolutionize cyber-perfectly, you may have to drive proactively.