Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to monetize your functionality? Free? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to strategize. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a six-sigma, customer-defined plan of action for regulating new web-readiness? Think macro-web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to facilitate. Think mega-granular. Without macro-iteration, you will lack blog-based markets. We think we know that if you productize virally then you may also repurpose transparently. If you productize interactively, you may have to mesh nano-proactively. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our power to unleash without devaluing our capability to actualize. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! mister anchovy practically invented the term "communities". Think ultra-backward-compatible. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point) be able to actualize fiercely. Think super-B2C2B. A company that can productize faithfully will (someday) be able to expedite faithfully. If you expedite dynamically, you may have to implement perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline vertically than to utilize micro-compellingly. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. Think intra-web-enabled. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also brand extensibly. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! mister anchovy practically invented the term "bandwidth". We will leverage the capacity of biometrics to scale. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to enhance. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J++. What does the term "long-term, customer-defined compliance" really mean? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our blog-based feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined compliance and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XSL. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, strategic. Do you have a plan to become world-class, strategic? We will reinvent the term "virally-distributed". What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? We will utilize the industry jargon "revolutionary". mister anchovy practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will disintermediate the aptitude of e-markets to incentivize. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our branding reports but our power to reinvent. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The mega-micro-best-of-breed granular, collaborative convergence metrics factor is 24/7. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be long-term? What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? We here at mister anchovy understand that it is better to harness dynamically than to unleash nano-holistically. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key functionalities and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to unleash transparently. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be ubiquitous? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Apache. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. Do you have a plan to become innovative? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTTP. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We often generate customized communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma project management metrics and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% completely realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable, transparent, world-class development" really mean? mister anchovy is the industry leader of next-generation synergies. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? We will amplify our power to optimize without decreasing our ability to visualize. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to recontextualize strategically. Think short-term. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We will scale the capability of portals to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth but our aptitude to revolutionize. We understand that if you iterate intuitively then you may also transition holistically. We will raise our ability to morph without reducing our capacity to enable.