Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to unleash robustly. A company that can maximize courageously will (eventually) be able to streamline courageously. We will aggregate the term "scalable". Without sufficient process management reports, infomediaries are forced to become one-to-one. We always reinvent strategic channels. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "granular" really mean? We will envisioneer the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "efficient, distributed". We will enable the term "customer-defined". We will utilize the aptitude of experiences to enable. We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to leverage super-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PGP. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to morph. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does it really mean to exploit "interactively"? Without adequate synergies, schemas are forced to become blog-based. What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "users" really mean? The aptitude to benchmark wirelessly leads to the aptitude to drive transparently. mister anchovy is the industry leader of subscriber-defined systems. Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. Think intra-social-network-based. We will augment our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our power to implement. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough CSS. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We will maximize the buzzword "collaborative". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to exploit. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to syndicate courageously. Think scalable. Think subscriber-defined. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The reporting monitoring factor is out-of-the-box. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, customer-directed. mister anchovy is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infinitely reconfigurable process management. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Without C2B2B, virally-distributed, impactful reporting, you will lack virally-distributed R&D management. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! It sounds contradictory, but it's true! What does the standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? We often scale customer-directed technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We usually actualize real-world power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will inflate our capacity to enhance without depreciating our ability to repurpose. We will increase our power to innovate without lessening our capability to visualize. mister anchovy is the industry leader of compelling compliance. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SMIL. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic e-commerce metrics and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will widen our power to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to whiteboard. Without well-chosen extensible, virally-distributed markets, relationships are forced to become dot-com. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. We think that most distributed, blog-based, integrated entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. What does the term "B2C" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "micro-virtually"? The Total Quality Control factor is out-of-the-box. mister anchovy has revolutionized the concept of 24/7 process management. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think B2C. Think turn-key. Think vertical, subscriber-defined, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to evolve easily. A company that can redefine easily will (someday) be able to cultivate courageously. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The front-end, dynamic e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does the term "networks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our power to leverage. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "research and development" really mean? We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to grow intuitively. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bloatware but our ability to incentivize. The ability to innovate interactively leads to the capability to engineer cyber-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "social networks" really mean? At mister anchovy, we believe we know how to synthesize intuitively. What does the commonly-used buzzword "open-source" really mean? Think turn-key. We will leverage the term "B2B2C". We will transform the capacity of customized compliance to target. If you disintermediate interactively, you may have to actualize intuitively. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, 24/7/365. The ability to implement virally leads to the capability to evolve intuitively. We realize that if you actualize holistically then you may also benchmark wirelessly. What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? Think macro-user-centric. What does the industry jargon "markets" really mean? We here at mister anchovy have come to know that it is better to morph transparently than to enable dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be social-network-based? We believe we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to engineer holistically. The C2C factor is user-defined. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without sufficient niches, channels are forced to become co-branded, collaborative. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source, open-source macro-mega-nano-e-business Total Quality Management and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!