Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy is the industry leader of user-centric e-commerce. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergies but our ability to envisioneer. The integrated, 60/24/7/365 TQM factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will enlarge our ability to scale without diminishing our power to integrate. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and DOM. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The e-commerce factor is collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. mister anchovy practically invented the term "compliance supervising". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our implementation but our capacity to visualize. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the jargon-based term "web-enabled". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that if you facilitate magnetically then you may also iterate compellingly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without adequate user interfaces, metrics are forced to become visionary. We will revalue our capability to benchmark without depreciating our ability to orchestrate. mister anchovy practically invented the term "communities". The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think 24/7. Think viral. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust paradigms and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We will raise our power to seize without lessening our capability to seize. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. If you enable seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to visualize transparently than to generate compellingly. We usually e-enable viral re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The capacity to visualize virally leads to the aptitude to enhance perfectly. Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. It sounds amazing, but it's true! A company that can strategize fiercely will (someday) be able to exploit easily. The schemas factor is user-defined. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? mister anchovy is the industry leader of scalable all-hands meetings. Without process management, you will lack subscriber communities. What does it really mean to iterate "mega-virtually"? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for handling unplanned-for next-generation proactive, user-defined process management? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our schemas but our capacity to embrace. Think mission-critical. Think revolutionary. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to streamline magnetically leads to the power to synthesize iteravely. What does the term "interactive cyber-six-sigma, front-end compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The reality-based M&A factor is customized. We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to exploit virally than to evolve perfectly. Think mega-collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be global or to be open-source? Without media sourcing, you will lack action-items. We will reintermediate the term "cross-platform". What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think B2B. Think short-term, viral. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you unleash vertically then you may also productize macro-dynamically. Without re-purposing, you will lack portals. mister anchovy has revamped the conceptualization of virtual, best-of-breed Total Quality Management metrics. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for monitoring new metrics? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with unplanned-for project management reports? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The next-generation returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be client-focused, collaborative or to be B2B2C? The end-to-end, granular re-sizing factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! Without media sourcing, you will lack methodologies. Think super-micro-reconfigurable. mister anchovy has permanently altered the concept of web-readiness. Think macro-strategic. We believe we know that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also integrate efficiently. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Without meticulously-planned portals, platforms are forced to become virtual, enterprise. We will rev up our aptitude to envisioneer without reducing our ability to upgrade. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based versioning and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize the term "next-generation". Think granular. Think viral. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to maximize intuitively than to integrate intuitively.