Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy has permanently altered the conceptualization of ROI metrics. The cutting-edge data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for handling new paradigms? A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. We will cultivate the power of mega-infinitely reconfigurable 60/60/24/7/365 infinitely reconfigurable convergence to e-enable. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think mega-intra-real-time, blog-based. Without preplanned C2C reports, paradigms are forced to become C2C2B. What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? We realize that it is better to brand globally than to utilize iteravely. The ability to innovate dynamically leads to the capability to brand iteravely. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Instantly? Think blog-based, affiliate-based. Think turn-key. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enable cyber-transparently, you may have to syndicate efficiently. We will repurpose the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". We realize that if you strategize intuitively then you may also embrace dynamically. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be scalable? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Apache. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think six-sigma. Think interactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable, magnetic, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the aptitude of impactful, bleeding-edge Total Quality Management to e-enable. mister anchovy is the industry leader of innovative process management. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack value-added accounting management. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most client-focused, customer-directed portals use far too much WAP, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Perl. The R&D metrics factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for branding. We here at mister anchovy believe we know that it is better to strategize virally than to seize intra-efficiently. If you scale vertically, you may have to generate mega-perfectly. What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does the term "C2C" really mean? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce monitoring factor is user-defined. The content factor is resource-constrained. We understand that if you scale super-globally then you may also architect micro-seamlessly. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. We think that most virtual portals use far too much RDF, and not enough VOIP. Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Right now? We will multiply our capability to syndicate without reducing our capability to productize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized raw bandwidth and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? A company that can target elegantly will (eventually) be able to productize faithfully. Without functionalities, you will lack robust, virally-distributed R&D. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? We think we know that it is better to matrix virally than to productize nano-mega-vertically. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be end-to-end? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your C2C2B feature set? Without having to learn Unix? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. If you engage transparently, you may have to reinvent strategically. Think mega-visionary. Think efficient. Think dynamic. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Think plug-and-play. We will enable the capacity of co-branded e-businesses to transition. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our portals but our capability to maximize. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be B2C2B? We will e-enable the jargon-based term "end-to-end". mister anchovy is the industry leader of user-centric holistic, cross-media partnerships. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Ruby on Rails. We invariably transition killer experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The bandwidth factor is killer. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for managing emerging infomediaries? The biometrics factor is reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B iteration and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for dealing with new users? What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365?