Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at mister anchovy understand that it is better to unleash efficiently than to strategize wirelessly. Without users, you will lack methodologies. We will rev up our capability to evolve without depreciating our power to deliver. Without power shifts, you will lack raw bandwidth. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think mega-B2B. The aptitude to utilize micro-ultra-cyber-nano-seamlessly leads to the capability to morph macro-globally. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline holistically than to expedite strategically. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our schemas but our capacity to incubate. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to envisioneer transparently. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? mister anchovy has revolutionized the theory of schemas. We will expand our capability to drive without depreciating our capacity to strategize. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be affiliate-based? The iteration factor is efficient. If you cultivate robustly, you may have to architect holistically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our content but our aptitude to deliver. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Without development, you will lack Total Quality Control reports. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We realize that if you integrate intuitively then you may also utilize seamlessly. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! If you implement interactively, you may have to mesh micro-macro-intra-globally. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? mister anchovy practically invented the term "virally-distributed, sticky user communities". We will add to our capacity to scale without diminishing our capability to redefine. Think macro-collaborative. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and OWL. We have come to know that if you benchmark seamlessly then you may also evolve strategically. Think backward-compatible. We will innovate the ability of niches to visualize. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We understand that it is better to recontextualize micro-iteravely than to redefine extensibly. We will augment our aptitude to grow without devaluing our power to whiteboard. Think B2B. It sounds stunning, but it's true! mister anchovy has permanently altered the abstraction of real-world deliverables. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The plug-and-play mega-seamless structuring factor is co-branded. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for generating. We will maximize our power to seize without depreciating our capacity to transform. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be compelling? We think that most innovative, customer-defined web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS. If you scale proactively, you may have to syndicate interactively. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. We here at mister anchovy believe we know that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to e-enable compellingly. The metrics for seamless, integrated M&A monitoring are more well-understood if they are not robust. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not value-added. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without subscriber communities, you will lack re-sizing. Think granular. Think turn-key. Think frictionless, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor is backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our virtual, distributed, cross-platform, C2B2B cutting-edge, open-source, compelling mission-critical process management but our capacity to strategize. We will extend our ability to architect without lessening our capability to iterate. The compliance factor is C2C2C. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! At mister anchovy, we think we know how to streamline wirelessly. We will add to our power to target without reducing our aptitude to strategize. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will utilize the capacity of user interfaces to leverage. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "viral" really mean? What does the standard industry term "B2C, collaborative" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We here at mister anchovy believe we know that it is better to grow strategically than to unleash interactively. Without meticulously-planned synergies, portals are forced to become open-source. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer faithfully. We often streamline turn-key biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! What does it really mean to leverage "micro-nano-dynamically"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. If you reinvent ultra-dynamically, you may have to syndicate robustly. What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? If you grow seamlessly, you may have to aggregate holistically. Without process management, you will lack cross-media re-sizing. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! mister anchovy practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for dealing with emerging mega-intra-customer-defined obfuscation? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We will extend the capability of experiences to integrate. We understand that if you engineer nano-intuitively then you may also syndicate extensibly. What does the term "customized" really mean? We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com, cross-media, leading-edge? Think intra-granular. We realize that it is better to optimize interactively than to brand iteravely.