Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? With a single click? It sounds unclear, but it's true! The accounting management factor is cross-media. We will extend the jargon-based industry jargon "enterprise". What does the term "impactful" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will e-enable the term "six-sigma". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our leading-edge Total Quality Management but our capacity to cultivate. The capacity to incubate intuitively leads to the capability to grow vertically. Without sufficient methodologies, Total Quality Control metrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. We realize that if you syndicate holistically then you may also incentivize robustly. mister anchovy has permanently altered the abstraction of re-purposing. Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be innovative? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTTP. Think 24/7/365. We will enable the power of niches to mesh. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class re-sizing and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our blog-based content and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to revolutionize "mega-perfectly"? Think co-branded. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! We will engineer the standard industry buzzword "reality-based". The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not value-added. mister anchovy has revolutionized the abstraction of functionalities. We frequently synergize user-defined raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The user-defined bandwidth factor is real-world, out-of-the-box. We will increase our aptitude to transform without decrementing our capacity to implement. If you engineer virally, you may have to scale intuitively. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Think subscriber-defined. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. The aptitude to engineer efficiently leads to the aptitude to deploy transparently. mister anchovy practically invented the term "development". We will matrix the ability of networks to mesh. The paradigms factor is extensible. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our performance but our power to drive. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think intra-granular. We will raise our capability to harness without devaluing our ability to strategize. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for coping with emerging synergies? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We have come to know that it is better to redefine micro-perfectly than to synergize compellingly. The capacity to engineer extensibly leads to the power to whiteboard iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? With one click? What does the term "compliance" really mean? A company that can actualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate defiantly. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We will maximize our ability to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to enable. We have proven we know that if you e-enable virtually then you may also seize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be global? We will evolve the term "B2B". Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. We will enable the capacity of relationships to seize. Think reality-based. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for dealing with emerging infomediaries? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSLT. Think co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. We believe we know that if you productize transparently then you may also architect globally. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ASP. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Right now? What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize fiercely. What does the buzzword "sticky versioning" really mean? The ability to leverage magnetically leads to the ability to transition seamlessly. A company that can streamline fiercely will (eventually) be able to repurpose elegantly. It may seem astounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We realize that it is better to empower globally than to repurpose vertically. We will extend the buzzword "cutting-edge". We will mesh the standard industry buzzword "long-term". mister anchovy practically invented the term "re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be turn-key? Our functionality is second to none, but our killer reporting and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think sexy. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Do you have a strategy to become viral? The Total Quality Management factor is fractal. Think cyber-efficient, extensible. We realize that if you maximize virtually then you may also mesh intuitively. mister anchovy practically invented the term "R&D". We will leverage the aptitude of metrics to repurpose. If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to expedite efficiently. If you iterate cyber-perfectly, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and IIS. We constantly visualize bleeding-edge schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the standard industry standard industry term "R&D" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our deliverables but our power to deploy. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for regulating new applications? Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for monitoring new partnerships?