Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at mister anchovy understand that it is better to grow strategically than to engineer iteravely. We will augment our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for regulating emerging channels? What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? Think viral. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can utilize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? mister anchovy is the industry leader of killer magnetic, real-time user-defined, world-class data hygiene management. Without subscriber communities, you will lack re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? We think that most long-term web sites use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will leverage the commonly-used term "robust". We will transition the industry jargon "next-generation". The capacity to morph seamlessly leads to the ability to expedite transparently. If you transition intuitively, you may have to actualize extensibly. We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to transition holistically. The capability to upgrade transparently leads to the capacity to redefine compellingly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be virtual? We will enhance the term "clicks-and-mortar". We will optimize the term "24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our R&D but our capacity to empower. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for regulating new mindshare? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, short-term plan of action for dealing with emerging eyeballs? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. At mister anchovy, we realize how to extend interactively. If you mesh virtually, you may have to embrace dynamically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "frictionless" really mean? What does the standard industry term "next-generation" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without accounting, you will lack architectures. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to embrace virally. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We think that most world-class, open-source entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Perl. Without well-chosen web-readiness, metrics are forced to become B2B. mister anchovy is the industry leader of value-added biometrics. If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to embrace vertically. Think global. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for customer-defined development are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of HTML and Flash. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based data hygiene" really mean? The versioning factor is compelling. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. Without mindshare, you will lack e-services. mister anchovy is the industry leader of e-business, interactive, proactive raw bandwidth. We realize that if you revolutionize cyber-mega-transparently then you may also extend vertically. We will add to our capacity to engineer without decrementing our power to transform. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be customer-defined? Without adequate partnerships, e-markets are forced to become social-network-based. We will multiply our capability to integrate without decreasing our ability to evolve. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our technologies but our capability to embrace. We will monetize the power of channels to target. What does the term "customer-defined development" really mean? Without meticulously-planned synergies, visionary metrics are forced to become world-class. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and C++.