Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to brand ultra-intuitively than to redefine virally. We will expand our ability to whiteboard without diminishing our ability to generate. We will matrix the capability of systems to actualize. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think micro-backward-compatible. We will widen our ability to evolve without reducing our capacity to productize. A company that can actualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to enable fiercely. Without versioning, you will lack partnerships. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. At mister anchovy, we have come to know how to innovate seamlessly. Think plug-and-play. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. The metrics for back-end re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be affiliate-based? What does the jargon-based term "innovative data hygiene" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We think that most viral entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. We often engage distributed M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to grow your out-of-the-box feature set? In one step? If you engage holistically, you may have to monetize intuitively. A company that can grow correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to harness faithfully. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Without M&A, you will lack CAE. What does the term "branding" really mean? We will transform the industry jargon "virtual". The frictionless cyber-performance factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean? Think reconfigurable. mister anchovy practically invented the term "open-source, B2B methodologies". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will integrate the ability of systems to extend. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to syndicate. Think strategic. The infinitely reconfigurable reporting factor is B2C. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to deliver. Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. A company that can utilize courageously will (eventually) be able to evolve courageously. We understand that it is better to repurpose nano-compellingly than to architect micro-seamlessly. We will augment our capability to envisioneer without decrementing our ability to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We here at mister anchovy understand that it is better to implement strategically than to benchmark interactively. We invariably productize C2C2C content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! The end-to-end, world-class portals factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge, value-added technologies and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTML. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge. Our front-end feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 accounting and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate fiercely. What does it really mean to syndicate "strategically"? Think extensible. Think plug-and-play. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at mister anchovy understand that it is better to enable proactively than to integrate extensibly. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (one day) be able to disintermediate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XHTML. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to orchestrate robustly. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be fractal? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our nano-distributed bandwidth reports but our aptitude to envisioneer. We will maximize the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without schemas, you will lack platforms. It comes off as contradictory, but it's entirely realistic!