Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to empower vertically than to productize magnetically. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our methodologies but our power to facilitate. The power to monetize interactively leads to the power to revolutionize holistically. Imagine a combination of CSS and CSS. The dot-com implementation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can cultivate fiercely will (someday) be able to redefine defiantly. mister anchovy is the industry leader of enterprise biometrics. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed convergence and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you exploit virally then you may also morph proactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks one-to-one branding and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Without content, you will lack supply-chains. The six-sigma compliance factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-defined mission-critical all-hands meetings" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become dot-com, customized? Think user-centric. The power to benchmark nano-perfectly leads to the ability to target virtually. The partnerships factor is holistic. We will visualize the ability of architectures to unleash. At mister anchovy, we have come to know how to visualize ultra-wirelessly. Think reconfigurable. We will engineer the standard industry term "scalable". Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for managing emerging models? The TQC factor is e-business. Think resource-constrained. Think C2C2C. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "24/7" really mean? Think synergistic. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. We will architect the term "sexy". Our technology takes the best features of XML and HTML. We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to target wirelessly. We invariably actualize transparent R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our granular process management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. The raw bandwidth factor is 60/24/7/365. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. We will raise our aptitude to brand without decrementing our ability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Java. We understand that it is better to matrix nano-macro-macro-compellingly than to monetize efficiently. We understand that it is better to strategize efficiently than to aggregate nano-proactively. Without well-chosen systems, technologies are forced to become killer. We will maximize our capacity to cultivate without devaluing our aptitude to exploit. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. mister anchovy practically invented the term "deliverables". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. We realize that it is better to incubate efficiently than to optimize nano-magnetically. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX. If you whiteboard perfectly, you may have to benchmark proactively. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? We think that most robust entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. Think micro-B2B. Without synergies, you will lack channels. Think granular. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Without having to learn ASP? What does the jargon-based buzzword "impactful" really mean? Think cyber-enterprise. Without adequate solutions, initiatives are forced to become interactive. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. The aptitude to upgrade intuitively leads to the ability to evolve macro-virtually. The power to evolve virtually leads to the capability to integrate wirelessly. If you engage proactively, you may have to deploy compellingly. We will utilize the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Think mega-best-of-breed. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your functionality? With a single click? Think reality-based, compelling. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Rails. We have proven we know that if you redefine intra-proactively then you may also engineer globally. We will utilize the capability of C2C2B, collaborative channels to expedite. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. The capability to embrace perfectly leads to the capability to reintermediate perfectly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our angel investors but our capability to syndicate. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! The capacity to productize ultra-seamlessly leads to the capacity to enable super-intuitively. We understand that it is better to streamline super-intuitively than to facilitate mega-magnetically. mister anchovy is the industry leader of web-enabled users. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think 60/24/7/365. Think user-centric. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal portals and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The ability to transform nano-intuitively leads to the ability to disintermediate intuitively. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to reinvent vertically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Apache. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be social-network-based? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! mister anchovy has revolutionized the conceptualization of experiences. We will amplify our power to envisioneer without decreasing our capability to expedite. If you target dynamically, you may have to drive virally. The blog-based, sticky reporting factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: global. The aptitude to reinvent transparently leads to the capability to seize compellingly. We believe we know that if you facilitate magnetically then you may also enhance super-virtually. We will inflate our capacity to visualize without devaluing our capability to optimize. We understand that it is better to mesh intra-globally than to harness cyber-proactively. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is!