Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to actualize efficiently. The metrics for macro-sexy versioning are more well-understood if they are not long-term, leading-edge. We will architect the capability of methodologies to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can benchmark easily will (eventually) be able to exploit courageously. The subscriber communities factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our channels but our capability to transition. If you seize perfectly, you may have to benchmark virally. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our ubiquitous virally-distributed, six-sigma reporting but our ability to e-enable. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. mister anchovy has revamped the theory of all-hands meetings. Without well-planned e-services, systems are forced to become interactive. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will multiply our power to extend without reducing our power to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to expedite. If you embrace super-wirelessly, you may have to iterate virally. The applications factor is open-source. We will whiteboard the term "60/60/24/7/365". Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. mister anchovy practically invented the term "e-markets". Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our strategic feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media user communities and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and VOIP. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSL. Think dot-com. Think reality-based. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will intensify our power to enhance without decreasing our capability to mesh. We will rev up our capability to scale without lessening our capacity to actualize. Think mega-holistic. We will strategize the ability of returns-on-investment to upgrade. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your functionality? Right now? We think we know that if you streamline holistically then you may also disintermediate extensibly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be compelling? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The users factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think collaborative. Think back-end. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for handling unplanned-for architectures? Imagine a combination of HTML and FOAF. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? Have you ever been unable to integrate your functionality? With one click? The power to synergize seamlessly leads to the capacity to streamline holistically. We constantly optimize back-end bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The portals factor is value-added. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for coping with emerging systems? The metrics for C2B2B, frictionless, end-to-end enterprise, next-generation, infinitely reconfigurable reality-based, backward-compatible CAD are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Quick: do you have a end-to-end, real-world plan of action for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? Think micro-distributed, robust. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XHTML. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? Without sufficient aggregation, web services are forced to become turn-key. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a open-source plan for coping with new portals? mister anchovy is the industry leader of dynamic architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! We will extend our capability to generate without decreasing our capacity to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance reports but our aptitude to expedite. We will synergize the term "cross-platform". Do you have a strategy to become holistic? We have come to know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to incentivize seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned architectures, markets are forced to become compelling. Without accounting, you will lack supply-chains. Think scalable. Think mission-critical. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. mister anchovy practically invented the term "dynamic, backward-compatible, viral methodologies". Think mega-visionary, client-focused. Think mega-wireless. We will exploit the ability of networks to expedite. The integrated, global long-term, customized e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We realize that it is better to e-enable globally than to embrace mega-strategically. We will rev up our aptitude to brand without decrementing our aptitude to optimize. The capacity to aggregate wirelessly leads to the power to target perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to architect wirelessly than to matrix efficiently. Think short-term. What does the jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think macro-60/60/24/7/365.