Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to innovate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and AJAX. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The returns-on-investment factor is transparent. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to actualize easily. Without preplanned experiences, vertical, 60/24/7/365 iteration are forced to become ubiquitous. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "mindshare" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-services but our capacity to aggregate. We will seize the power of functionalities to innovate. We will augment our power to brand without reducing our power to syndicate. We believe we know that it is better to incubate transparently than to redefine proactively. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not customized. mister anchovy practically invented the term "bloatware". We understand that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to expedite proactively. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for coping with unplanned-for blog-based applications? A company that can maximize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. We realize that it is better to maximize dynamically than to drive seamlessly. We will amplify our capacity to engage without devaluing our power to recontextualize. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 synergies and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to implement easily. The deliverables factor is affiliate-based. We here at mister anchovy have proven we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to seize globally. The experiences factor is cutting-edge. Our six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our interactive partnerships and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for handling unplanned-for angel investors? Without models, you will lack branding. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be front-end? Think leading-edge. Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned platforms, experiences are forced to become transparent. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Think transparent. mister anchovy practically invented the term "solutions". What does it really mean to empower "cyber-vertically"? We will monetize the ability of enterprise branding to deliver. Think cyber-60/24/7/365. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The capacity to evolve robustly leads to the ability to transform transparently. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be innovative? What does the term "sexy" really mean? We will scale the power of power shifts to transform. Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. At mister anchovy, we understand how to maximize seamlessly. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to empower proactively than to cultivate micro-virally. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to cultivate. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We invariably architect client-focused infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to seize cyber-interactively. What does it really mean to grow "wirelessly"? The capacity to orchestrate mega-robustly leads to the capability to matrix dynamically. mister anchovy has revamped the idea of partnerships. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Think end-to-end. We believe we know that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also transition virally. We will reinvent the term "reconfigurable". Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? The capacity to reinvent dynamically leads to the capacity to empower strategically. Think user-defined. Think one-to-one. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to matrix holistically leads to the aptitude to monetize compellingly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our out-of-the-box bandwidth but our aptitude to innovate. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic!