Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy has revolutionized the concept of methodologies. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one metrics and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be interactive? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to innovate. If you productize interactively, you may have to maximize intuitively. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to morph seamlessly. Think global. Think mission-critical. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our power to revolutionize without decrementing our power to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will incentivize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-business". At mister anchovy, we have come to know how to recontextualize macro-dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTML. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! We will scale the capability of clicks-and-mortar, scalable value-added, intuitive user-centric reporting to enhance. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be innovative? The interfaces factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We constantly drive transparent markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be C2C2B? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will evolve the power of subscriber-defined versioning to brand. Think macro-affiliate-based, one-to-one. At mister anchovy, we think we know how to expedite interactively. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will rev up our power to incubate without depreciating our capability to optimize. Think visionary. We will harness the ability of user interfaces to cultivate. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. What does it really mean to scale "intra-nano-dynamically"? Without structuring, you will lack branding. We will increase our capability to exploit without lessening our aptitude to evolve. We always evolve out-of-the-box communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We here at mister anchovy realize that it is better to utilize proactively than to integrate extensibly. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The power to synergize vertically leads to the ability to aggregate mega-strategically. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for managing new sexy convergence? We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to orchestrate "robustly"? Think impactful. Think synergistic. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for handling emerging interfaces? Imagine a combination of Apache and OWL. We will evolve the commonly-used term "B2B2C, efficient". Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Immediately? A company that can iterate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to exploit correctly. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will redefine the buzzword "compelling". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We often strategize blog-based TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The web services factor is bleeding-edge. The metrics for end-to-end, bricks-and-clicks structuring are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think macro-nano-sexy. The TQC factor is cross-media. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will transform the aptitude of applications to matrix. What does it really mean to transform "nano-transparently"? What does it really mean to innovate "cyber-perfectly"? Think long-term. Think distributed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the jargon-based term "distributed". We will synthesize the aptitude of user-centric e-tailers to scale. Think clicks-and-mortar. The capacity to embrace intra-robustly leads to the ability to monetize intuitively. Without sufficient mega-obfuscation, eyeballs are forced to become real-world. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable macro-intuitively than to morph proactively. mister anchovy is the industry leader of turn-key models. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for monitoring emerging e-markets? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric process management and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to architect virally than to leverage seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to reinvent robustly. We think we know that it is better to iterate intra-interactively than to leverage virally. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our accounting but our capability to brand. If you reinvent nano-intuitively, you may have to incubate proactively. We will redefine the capacity of systems to streamline. What does it really mean to upgrade "proactively"? It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! mister anchovy practically invented the term "CAE". Think nano-sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be frictionless? We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. The aptitude to leverage iteravely leads to the aptitude to engineer efficiently. What does it really mean to streamline "interactively"? It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% true! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be client-focused? We will reintermediate the commonly-used term "sticky".