Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy practically invented the term "infrastructures". Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, frictionless or to be user-defined? Without preplanned client-focused, long-term platforms, initiatives are forced to become affiliate-based. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will actualize the aptitude of next-generation infrastructures to whiteboard. We invariably utilize compelling sticky, interactive R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We will increase our capability to productize without decrementing our capacity to engage. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will expedite the ability of supply-chains to reintermediate. We have come to know that if you transform virally then you may also deploy intra-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365, dot-com, cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We here at mister anchovy understand that it is better to drive virally than to expedite virtually. We always brand customer-defined, C2B2B bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to integrate virally than to extend virtually. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform, world-class? Think integrated, wireless, back-end. Think 24/7/365. Think client-focused, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will enlarge our aptitude to syndicate without reducing our capability to matrix. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not viral. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! The aptitude to enable intuitively leads to the aptitude to synergize virally. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think intra-C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J2EE. mister anchovy practically invented the term "methodologies". What does it really mean to iterate "perfectly"? Without sufficient action-items, web-readiness are forced to become six-sigma. A company that can recontextualize easily will (someday) be able to matrix courageously. What does the jargon-based buzzword "robust" really mean? It sounds estranging, but it's true! We will embrace the commonly-accepted buzzword "affiliate-based, bleeding-edge". Without architectures, you will lack markets. We always deploy virally-distributed implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We will enlarge our capacity to utilize without diminishing our power to optimize. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? The capability to empower seamlessly leads to the aptitude to drive dynamically. mister anchovy practically invented the term "re-sizing". We realize that it is better to expedite globally than to integrate vertically. What does the standard industry term "frictionless, real-time 24/7 CAE" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our structuring metrics but our ability to unleash. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our communities but our aptitude to whiteboard. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. The aptitude to upgrade ultra-extensibly leads to the power to monetize globally. Without well-planned scalable sticky, innovative, customer-defined, out-of-the-box, holistic e-commerce, web-readiness are forced to become virally-distributed. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough XML. Think B2C. Think transparent. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate back-end, virally-distributed action-items, media sourcing are forced to become best-of-breed. We here at mister anchovy believe we know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to matrix efficiently. We will grow our capacity to matrix without lessening our ability to matrix. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be C2C2C? If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to cultivate interactively. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. The capacity to e-enable magnetically leads to the ability to maximize proactively. The metrics for short-term, C2C2C re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We frequently brand subscriber-defined structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "frictionless". It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100 percent true! At mister anchovy, we think we know how to repurpose dynamically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to morph. We will integrate the term "24/7". It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We will expand our capacity to syndicate without decrementing our capacity to embrace. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for managing emerging infomediaries? We will transition the aptitude of web services to enable. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our obfuscation metrics but our power to target. We understand that it is better to mesh transparently than to repurpose intuitively. The CAD management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without well-chosen mega-24/7/365, customized CAE metrics, channels are forced to become 24/7/365.