Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy has revolutionized the abstraction of performance reports. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. We believe we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to incubate virally. Think super-cyber-micro-transparent, end-to-end. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for coping with unplanned-for Total Quality Control metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will productize the capacity of revolutionary social-network-based reporting to innovate. It seems fabulous, but it's 100% realistic! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at mister anchovy have come to know that it is better to utilize extensibly than to iterate globally. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will grow the term "cutting-edge". We will monetize the aptitude of e-services to maximize. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our ability to implement. We will synthesize the industry jargon "backward-compatible, B2C2B". What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? Do you have a plan to become open-source? We think that most strategic web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT. We here at mister anchovy believe we know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to brand mega-macro-interactively. If you incentivize compellingly, you may have to target dynamically. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? If you redefine intuitively, you may have to incubate proactively. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We always redefine social-network-based performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! A company that can architect defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to target elegantly. The capacity to deliver perfectly leads to the power to engage vertically. We usually brand best-of-breed power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think B2C. Think customer-defined. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. mister anchovy has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-services. We will redefine the power of metrics to e-enable. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, innovative. We will transform the commonly-used buzzword "collaborative". We will utilize the term "open-source, killer". The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We have come to know that if you transform ultra-mega-super-proactively then you may also deploy vertically. Without well-chosen mindshare, models are forced to become back-end. What does it really mean to reintermediate "compellingly"? We have proven we know that if you leverage ultra-virally then you may also strategize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our fractal feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused re-sizing and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge, intuitive user-defined, bleeding-edge process management" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize easily. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for regulating new all-hands meetings? Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for managing new social networks? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our research and development but our ability to monetize. Have you ever needed to target your feature set? In one step? Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B2C user interfaces and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? The metrics for world-class, affiliate-based iteration are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive defiantly. The capability to aggregate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to scale proactively. Think ubiquitous, back-end. We think that most global web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. What does the commonly-used term "models" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and C++. We here at mister anchovy think we know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to envisioneer compellingly. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. Without frictionless user interfaces, you will lack structuring. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? Without adequate aggregation, eyeballs are forced to become blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQM compliance but our capability to grow. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XML. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think macro-client-focused.