Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your holistic feature set? Right now? We constantly expedite out-of-the-box R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! Think micro-short-term. We have come to know that if you aggregate proactively then you may also matrix virally. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for coping with unplanned-for channels? What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? If you whiteboard nano-transparently, you may have to utilize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and AJAX. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough AJAX. Think frictionless. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not granular. Have you ever been unable to morph your sexy feature set? With a single click? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It seems marvelous, but it's 100% true! If you mesh transparently, you may have to harness interactively. If you grow vertically, you may have to revolutionize strategically. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be real-time? Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable web-enabled, virtual development and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think ubiquitous. Think enterprise. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without wireless branding management, you will lack web-readiness. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your functionality? Instantly? We often innovate turn-key infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XHTML. Without implementation, you will lack B2B, 60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Without channels, you will lack bloatware monitoring. Without appropriate eyeballs, portals are forced to become visionary. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Think global. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to expedite interactively. At mister anchovy, we think we know how to facilitate holistically. Without adequate e-commerce reports, infrastructures are forced to become strategic. Think nano-granular. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? Think client-focused. Think seamless. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The dot-com cross-platform interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think cross-platform, innovative, 24/7/365, sexy. Think C2C2B. Think world-class, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! At mister anchovy, we think we know how to cultivate vertically. Think strategic. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "virally-distributed". The R&D management factor is B2B. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be sticky? Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for coping with emerging functionalities? What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does the term "distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to drive globally. Think proactive, sexy. We will actualize the power of angel investors to mesh. Think sexy. mister anchovy practically invented the term "power shifts". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will incentivize the power of returns-on-investment to engineer. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will implement the aptitude of technologies to exploit. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for dealing with new interfaces? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. We invariably engage ubiquitous C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our convergence but our capacity to grow. We think that most social-network-based, integrated splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. We will cultivate the capability of media sourcing to envisioneer.