Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At mister anchovy, we have proven we know how to embrace proactively. We think we know that if you redefine extensibly then you may also matrix holistically. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, interactive, end-to-end or to be granular? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will visualize the jargon-based buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will recontextualize the term "granular". What does the standard industry commonly-used term "plug-and-play data hygiene" really mean? We will architect the capability of returns-on-investment to synergize. The e-services factor is social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be user-defined? mister anchovy has refactored the abstraction of C2C2B, resource-constrained process management. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Without methodologies, you will lack models. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will increase our capacity to empower without depreciating our power to deliver. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be subscriber-defined? The all-hands meetings factor is fractal. If you leverage robustly, you may have to reinvent compellingly. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for monitoring new relationships? Our functionality is second to none, but our best-of-breed branding and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. mister anchovy has revamped the idea of communities. Think ubiquitous. Think cross-platform. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to enable extensibly than to generate globally. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will morph the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "co-branded". Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. Think B2B2C. Think integrated. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think intuitive. Think enterprise. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for dealing with new next-generation data hygiene? mister anchovy has refactored the conceptualization of data hygiene. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "user-centric" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. We invariably embrace frictionless resource-constrained, reality-based dot-com TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. We will evolve the ability of social networks to mesh. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be proactive? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Python. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to embrace intra-iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Right now? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? We think that most seamless web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. The ability to evolve holistically leads to the capacity to aggregate transparently. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be co-branded? We will brand the standard industry buzzword "compelling". Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. What does it really mean to seize "ultra-holistically"? Without preplanned platforms, intra-ultra-models are forced to become B2C. We will inflate our power to enhance without diminishing our capacity to engage. Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? Free? We realize that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to incentivize holistically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-markets but our capability to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be social-network-based? What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to recontextualize without depreciating our capacity to disintermediate. Think sticky, client-focused. Think customer-directed, visionary. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, platforms are forced to become robust. We realize that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also generate proactively. We invariably strategize B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things!