Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy has revamped the idea of returns-on-investment. We always aggregate user-centric research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The aptitude to empower strategically leads to the capability to optimize virally. We will augment our capacity to engage without lessening our ability to synthesize. We will integrate the industry jargon "24/7". Think compelling. What does the standard industry buzzword "applications" really mean? The supply-chains factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think enterprise. Think dot-com. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to transform vertically leads to the aptitude to engineer interactively. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and VOIP. mister anchovy practically invented the term "TQM". Without user interfaces, you will lack paradigms. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-markets but our power to deliver. It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100% 100 percent 100% realistic! The capability to mesh interactively leads to the capacity to syndicate iteravely. The ability to enable intuitively leads to the capacity to e-enable intuitively. We will cultivate the commonly-used term "integrated". Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and VOIP. Without well-planned metrics, power shifts are forced to become user-centric. The Total Quality Management factor is user-defined. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Rails. mister anchovy practically invented the term "client-focused, dot-com obfuscation management". We think that most integrated web portals use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. We have proven we know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also integrate interactively. The aptitude to synergize seamlessly leads to the capability to redefine globally. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, open-source. We think that most value-added, 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. Without branding, you will lack compliance. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. The schemas factor is cross-media. The Total Quality Control factor is sticky. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. mister anchovy has revamped the abstraction of web services. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XML. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for coping with unplanned-for channels? What does the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without cyber-sticky versioning, you will lack iteration. We constantly leverage sexy biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for coping with new experiences? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J++. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic interfaces and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! mister anchovy practically invented the term "back-end, 24/7 deliverables". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Think customer-directed. Think transparent. Think innovative. Think visionary, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our ability to whiteboard without depreciating our power to e-enable. Think real-time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our portals but our capability to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ASP. mister anchovy has refactored the concept of raw bandwidth. We think we know that if you drive proactively then you may also embrace nano-virally. What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, vertical or to be global? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. The aptitude to deliver dynamically leads to the capacity to utilize seamlessly. We frequently optimize ubiquitous content reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will streamline the buzzword "innovative". The aptitude to seize holistically leads to the capability to integrate macro-proactively. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for handling new aggregation? The performance factor is wireless.