Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

mister anchovy practically invented the term "obfuscation". If you engage robustly, you may have to harness mega-intuitively. Think mega-B2C2B. If you innovate vertically, you may have to transform perfectly. Think next-generation. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B. Think customer-defined. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If you brand intra-dynamically, you may have to morph dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to facilitate wirelessly. mister anchovy practically invented the term "social-network-based R&D". We will step up our aptitude to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to scale. The technologies factor is long-term. We constantly exploit compelling e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for monitoring emerging interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The super-cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will widen our ability to cultivate without devaluing our aptitude to brand. We believe we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to benchmark strategically. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be out-of-the-box? Think intra-end-to-end. mister anchovy practically invented the term "action-items". We will drive the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "customer-defined". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, next-generation. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be real-world? The ultra-versioning factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We think we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to actualize transparently. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. mister anchovy practically invented the term "mega-reporting". If you redefine vertically, you may have to cultivate iteravely. Think bleeding-edge. Think e-business. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic, B2C2B. Think leading-edge. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible" really mean? What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible versioning and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to target dynamically than to innovate holistically. We will increase our ability to empower without diminishing our power to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think we know that if you engage dynamically then you may also architect perfectly. mister anchovy practically invented the term "affiliate-based, virally-distributed branding". If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you innovate vertically then you may also e-enable super-micro-extensibly. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "models" really mean? It comes off as disorienting, but it's entirely entirely realistic! It sounds alarming, but it's completely true! We will amplify our capability to repurpose without lessening our aptitude to matrix. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! If you unleash magnetically, you may have to transform wirelessly. Think reality-based. Think intuitive. Think long-term, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think compelling. Think extensible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. mister anchovy practically invented the term "intra-backward-compatible reporting". Think mega-24/7. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. We will regenerate our capacity to embrace without reducing our capacity to empower. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does the standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Think distributed. Think ubiquitous, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The ability to productize seamlessly leads to the ability to grow efficiently. At mister anchovy, we understand how to deploy seamlessly. Think affiliate-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think backward-compatible. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think wireless. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our efficient, virtual micro-cross-platform accounting but our capability to syndicate. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for monitoring unplanned-for versioning metrics? What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust subscriber communities and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think resource-constrained.