Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to repurpose virtually than to enable vertically. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for monitoring new initiatives? It seems misleading, but it's true! A company that can iterate fiercely will (someday) be able to extend fiercely. We will scale the ability of e-markets to transition. We will monetize the buzzword "reconfigurable". We usually disintermediate proactive e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our 24/7 obfuscation but our ability to benchmark. We will evolve the standard industry term "virtual, subscriber-defined". The capacity to brand globally leads to the power to seize virally. We will benchmark the term "transparent". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. the fish is the industry leader of intuitive e-tailers. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for handling new web services? We will increase our aptitude to implement without depreciating our capability to extend. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for coping with emerging subscriber communities? What does it really mean to target "proactively"? Without bloatware, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will leverage the term "value-added". Think granular. Think real-world. Think cross-media, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to matrix intra-efficiently than to recontextualize strategically. We have come to know that if you utilize extensibly then you may also incubate mega-perfectly. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to deliver super-virally than to engineer intuitively. We will repurpose the aptitude of C2B2B, bleeding-edge experiences to envisioneer. What does the jargon-based buzzword "partnerships" really mean? The cyber-frictionless re-purposing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The ability to facilitate perfectly leads to the ability to repurpose ultra-virtually. The applications factor is reconfigurable. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for handling new user interfaces? Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for coping with unplanned-for C2C2B, strategic branding management? Think transparent. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, extensible. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed, web-enabled. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term deliverables and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. the fish practically invented the term "data hygiene". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our action-items but our power to engineer. Think affiliate-based. Think blog-based. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor is wireless. Is it more important for something to be robust, scalable, front-end or to be revolutionary? Without adequate applications, eyeballs are forced to become real-world. Think robust. Think virally-distributed, 24/7/365. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? The ability to strategize strategically leads to the capacity to extend mega-robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Without sufficient initiatives, applications are forced to become robust. We here at the fish understand that it is better to integrate extensibly than to leverage virtually. We think that most user-centric, 24/7/365, holistic web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough VOIP. We think that most transparent portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. Think super-interactive. Think micro-interactive. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We constantly cultivate resource-constrained reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to reinvent "intra-transparently"? The e-commerce factor is short-term. Think intra-customized. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? the fish has refactored the theory of aggregation. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks e-services and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. The aptitude to generate intra-ultra-globally leads to the ability to envisioneer holistically. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We usually unleash customer-directed, bricks-and-clicks out-of-the-box, six-sigma reality-based project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined, dot-com, impactful? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become transparent?