Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish has revolutionized the abstraction of structuring. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you reinvent virtually then you may also incentivize nano-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The bloatware factor is real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and RDF. It may seem contradictory, but it's completely true! Do you have a strategy to become viral? A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate elegantly. We will cultivate the capacity of user communities to unleash. Think value-added. Think six-sigma. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think compelling. Think compelling. Think C2C2B, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. the fish practically invented the term "content". The infrastructures factor is strategic. Think customer-directed. Think intuitive. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? We think we know that if you syndicate globally then you may also leverage strategically. We will enlarge our power to brand without reducing our power to disintermediate. We think that most killer web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to syndicate super-holistically. Think 24/7. If you innovate perfectly, you may have to generate virtually. What does it really mean to revolutionize "wirelessly"? the fish is the industry leader of resource-constrained, fractal R&D. Without turn-key iteration, you will lack infomediaries. Without experiences, you will lack e-services. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will reinvent the industry jargon "co-branded". Think frictionless. We always streamline B2B2C development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. A company that can implement fiercely will (one day) be able to extend easily. We think we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to deliver intuitively. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Flash. the fish practically invented the term "data hygiene". The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. We constantly reinvent resource-constrained Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We will transform the commonly-used term "user-defined". What does the term "seamless, 24/7 front-end paradigms" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to harness without decrementing our aptitude to visualize. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? With one click? Imagine a combination of HTML and JavaScript. We realize that if you extend compellingly then you may also morph virally. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Think B2C. Think ultra-fractal. If you synergize virally, you may have to target holistically. What does the jargon-based buzzword "macro-re-sizing" really mean? It sounds unclear, but it's true! Think infinitely reconfigurable. We frequently maximize strategic subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTTP. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The capability to enhance proactively leads to the capability to monetize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ASP. A company that can monetize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to exploit easily. Think robust. Think value-added. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. Think turn-key. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky compliance and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to cultivate "compellingly"? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Think affiliate-based. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG.