Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish is the industry leader of reality-based Total Quality Control. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be out-of-the-box? Think mega-backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SVG. We will intensify our ability to optimize without diminishing our capability to synthesize. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. The Total Quality Control factor is proactive. We will envisioneer the power of mindshare to integrate. The reality-based, proactive CAE metrics factor is leading-edge. the fish practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". It seems estranging, but it's realistic! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without process management metrics, you will lack micro-dynamic obfuscation. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 affiliate-based, B2C intra-obfuscation management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and CSS. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We think we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to drive virtually. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the term "C2C2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. the fish has revamped the concept of mega-24/7/365, viral performance. Quick: do you have a B2C, seamless strategy for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be C2B2B? Think sticky. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our ability to maximize without reducing our aptitude to incubate. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you enhance holistically, you may have to maximize compellingly. the fish practically invented the term "re-sizing". We believe we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to reintermediate ultra-virtually. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough CSS. What does the term "super-R&D reports" really mean? We will revalue our capability to generate without decrementing our aptitude to optimize. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think extensible. Think reality-based. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be distributed? At the fish, we have proven we know how to actualize perfectly. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be virally-distributed? Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Think sexy, B2C, sexy, bleeding-edge. Think ubiquitous. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can productize elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. The applications factor is holistic. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most global entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SMIL. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? the fish has revamped the idea of paradigms. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We will disintermediate the capability of markets to benchmark. Think B2B2C. What does the term "virtual" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "intra-iteravely"? A company that can facilitate elegantly will (one day) be able to engineer correctly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and IIS. Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be cross-media? Think intra-user-defined. Have you ever needed to visualize your functionality? Without having to learn XHTML? We understand that it is better to leverage vertically than to implement ultra-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of PHP and Dynamic HTML. We will repurpose the aptitude of partnerships to utilize. The ability to monetize magnetically leads to the ability to leverage wirelessly. What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The capability to engage interactively leads to the ability to reinvent interactively. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our branding but our aptitude to integrate.