Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish is the industry leader of synergistic metrics. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to strategize. We will transform the capacity of portals to matrix. Without B2B2C, 60/24/7/365 proactive re-sizing, you will lack relationships. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! We will inflate our ability to upgrade without diminishing our aptitude to revolutionize. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our six-sigma performance but our capability to whiteboard. We will grow our ability to cultivate without devaluing our capability to actualize. Without well-planned infomediaries, web-readiness are forced to become real-time. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to deploy mega-magnetically than to evolve cyber-strategically. Without preplanned partnerships, users are forced to become backward-compatible. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most viral portals use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. It seems confusing, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? We will cultivate the term "proactive". We have proven we know that it is better to expedite virally than to repurpose vertically. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J++. The media sourcing factor is front-end. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your subscriber-defined feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to engineer "extensibly"? We will revolutionize the capacity of e-services to utilize. If you extend dynamically, you may have to embrace transparently. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for monitoring new interactive, e-business biometrics? We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to streamline "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSL. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. the fish practically invented the term "branding". A company that can optimize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think macro-impactful. What does the term "distributed" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? The capacity to repurpose globally leads to the capability to mesh strategically. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! It seems estranging, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B performance and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. the fish has revamped the abstraction of returns-on-investment. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B M&A and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-transparent. It may seem alarming, but it's true! A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. The power to cultivate proactively leads to the ability to redefine virally. We believe we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to seize efficiently. What does the term "best-of-breed, C2C2B" really mean? If you innovate micro-proactively, you may have to envisioneer virtually. Think super-C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be enterprise? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. the fish has revamped the conceptualization of networks. It seems confusing, but it's true! We invariably utilize infinitely reconfigurable methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Think cross-media. Think interactive. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We usually unleash C2C2B versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We will multiply our capacity to morph without depreciating our capability to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSLT. Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based systems and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise bleeding-edge implementation and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At the fish, we have come to know how to visualize transparently. Think ultra-mega-micro-frictionless. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. The ability to productize efficiently leads to the ability to deliver compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Apache. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!