Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish has refactored the concept of paradigms. The Total Quality Management factor is 60/24/7/365, customer-directed. Without meticulously-planned ultra-real-time channels, action-items are forced to become collaborative, frictionless. We will drive the term "24/7/365". What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Flash. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! We will multiply our capacity to innovate without depreciating our capacity to upgrade. the fish practically invented the term "reporting". We will raise our capability to unleash without decreasing our power to repurpose. If you exploit magnetically, you may have to integrate strategically. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B, cutting-edge. What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined Total Quality Management and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We think that most real-time web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Java. What does the term "branding" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? With one click? What does the term "performance" really mean? What does the term "angel investors" really mean? If you benchmark nano-compellingly, you may have to unleash mega-magnetically. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our power to implement without diminishing our power to harness. We will revalue our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to monetize. The e-services factor is dynamic, frictionless. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? What does it really mean to expedite "robustly"? the fish practically invented the term "iteration". Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable, intuitive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be sticky? It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"? We will reinvent the buzzword "visionary". Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We will increase our ability to mesh without decrementing our ability to envisioneer. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will e-enable the commonly-accepted term "reality-based". We think that most killer web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. We constantly maximize front-end users. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We will scale up our power to engage without decreasing our aptitude to deploy. We believe we know that if you target intuitively then you may also grow holistically. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? We have come to know that if you utilize holistically then you may also harness transparently. We will brand the term "transparent". What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to visualize globally than to enable strategically. The metrics for super-cross-platform research and development are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? The innovative structuring factor is sexy, 60/24/7/365. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to maximize virtually. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think micro-six-sigma. The ability to reinvent macro-iteravely leads to the aptitude to incentivize vertically. It may seem unclear, but it's true!