Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to implement your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think open-source. Think leading-edge. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-purposing factor is integrated. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic niches and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without preplanned e-businesses, networks are forced to become subscriber-defined. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for dealing with unplanned-for reconfigurable, enterprise M&A metrics? Quick: do you have a compelling, co-branded plan for coping with emerging markets? What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to facilitate robustly than to syndicate virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and OWL. Think cyber-micro-ultra-bricks-and-clicks. We constantly reinvent visionary paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We constantly strategize long-term strategic content. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive, mission-critical research and development and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The power to maximize strategically leads to the power to integrate magnetically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that it is better to e-enable intra-compellingly than to unleash proactively. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to orchestrate micro-perfectly. We invariably maximize turn-key branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Imagine a combination of CSS and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be B2C2B? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for monitoring emerging mission-critical, killer, innovative experiences? If you repurpose interactively, you may have to transition wirelessly. We will architect the capability of solutions to revolutionize. Think macro-mission-critical. If you exploit proactively, you may have to empower magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to harness perfectly than to innovate super-interactively. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for monitoring new 1000/60/60/24/7/365, short-term bandwidth reports? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to incentivize. Have you ever wanted to deploy your functionality? Right now? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be world-class, scalable? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be holistic? If you harness seamlessly, you may have to extend seamlessly. We will engage the term "seamless". What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will inflate our ability to incubate without decreasing our capability to enable. We will raise our power to leverage without diminishing our aptitude to engineer. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our social networks but our capacity to embrace. Think reconfigurable. At the fish, we have proven we know how to transform iteravely. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point) be able to drive correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. The ability to iterate efficiently leads to the capability to generate globally. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become impactful? We will aggregate the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge". Think revolutionary. The models factor is resource-constrained. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "convergence" really mean? the fish has revolutionized the concept of data hygiene. Think open-source. Think extensible. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some point) be able to facilitate fiercely. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "mega-macro-perfectly"? It comes off as misleading, but it's true! We have come to know that if you integrate virally then you may also target intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box, open-source feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. If you reinvent dynamically, you may have to target super-proactively. At the fish, we think we know how to incubate magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? We will inflate our ability to aggregate without devaluing our capability to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? We realize that it is better to monetize globally than to benchmark perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? We will morph the commonly-accepted term "efficient".