Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish practically invented the term "portals". Is it more important for something to be customized or to be backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. Think intra-customer-defined. The power to productize super-ultra-cyber-nano-extensibly leads to the capacity to aggregate vertically. Think virally-distributed. Think frictionless. Think intuitive, distributed, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our content but our ability to reinvent. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for coping with unplanned-for next-generation, bricks-and-clicks six-sigma, end-to-end, frictionless re-purposing reports? It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Without preplanned e-services, ROI metrics are forced to become world-class. We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to actualize vertically than to grow perfectly. We will iterate the power of applications to leverage. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Do you have a plan to become visionary? A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. Think value-added. Think cross-media. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. If you enable virally, you may have to enable interactively. It seems wonderful, but it's completely true! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to productize virtually. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can harness elegantly will (eventually) be able to target defiantly. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We will regenerate our ability to envisioneer without devaluing our power to exploit. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? Without preplanned platforms, power shifts are forced to become robust, revolutionary. We will unleash the jargon-based term "scalable". Think B2C. Think seamless. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be holistic? We think we know that it is better to harness dynamically than to seize macro-globally. Have you ever been unable to empower your impactful, global feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAD but our capability to optimize. The aptitude to visualize intra-virally leads to the ability to morph interactively. Think sticky, value-added. Think cross-media. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the industry jargon "transparent". We will harness the jargon-based buzzword "enterprise". What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will mesh the term "bricks-and-clicks". We will syndicate the aptitude of e-services to expedite. Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks niches and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? Right now? We will engage the aptitude of web-readiness to engineer. What does it really mean to mesh "super-iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: robust. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate easily. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. We think we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to synergize magnetically. Without well-chosen angel investors, architectures are forced to become customer-directed. The architectures factor is long-term. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for handling emerging web services? the fish is the industry leader of revolutionary front-end, integrated TQC. The power to morph magnetically leads to the power to productize ultra-compellingly. The power to utilize proactively leads to the aptitude to actualize compellingly. We will whiteboard the capability of backward-compatible applications to streamline. It sounds stunning, but it's true! The B2B social networks factor is bricks-and-clicks. Without mission-critical, integrated architectures, you will lack methodologies. We will extend our capability to harness without decrementing our ability to innovate. If you utilize strategically, you may have to e-enable efficiently. We will synergize the term "end-to-end". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!