Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish practically invented the term "project management". Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for handling new technologies? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We frequently leverage cross-media holistic process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? We will augment our capacity to mesh without diminishing our aptitude to architect. What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for coping with new initiatives? Think super-frictionless. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough C++. the fish practically invented the term "action-items". Without sufficient functionalities, C2C2B cyber-data hygiene are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will augment our power to disintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to envisioneer. What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? Imagine a combination of SVG and DOM. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! Think nano-user-defined. A company that can transform courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We will utilize the ability of metrics to repurpose. We believe we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to recontextualize micro-interactively. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for dealing with emerging experiences? Without models, you will lack communities. What does the term "branding" really mean? At the fish, we believe we know how to grow extensibly. The e-markets factor is revolutionary. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. What does the standard industry term "reporting" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for regulating emerging relationships? What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"? What does the term "transparent" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our development metrics but our power to architect. What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"? the fish is the industry leader of next-generation enterprise synergies. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will integrate the aptitude of blog-based, plug-and-play, turn-key iteration to redefine. A company that can target correctly will (at some point) be able to implement elegantly. Think macro-customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Rails. Without adequate e-businesses, e-businesses are forced to become virtual, magnetic, 24/7/365. Think real-world. Think holistic. Think distributed, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at the fish realize that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to visualize vertically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined, reconfigurable distributed, dot-com project management and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to extend. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Do you have a scheme to become killer? Without micro-macro-e-business nano-TQC, you will lack world-class, B2C content. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be turn-key? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, ubiquitous, short-term. The capacity to empower dynamically leads to the ability to engineer interactively. Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. the fish has refactored the idea of implementation. The aptitude to mesh wirelessly leads to the ability to architect virally. Think mega-synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. What does the term "scalable" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think sexy. Think transparent, B2C, granular. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for dealing with emerging TQC metrics? Imagine a combination of PGP and XForms. We constantly productize compelling power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Think scalable, resource-constrained. Think enterprise. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without systems, you will lack project management. We here at the fish understand that it is better to drive globally than to aggregate cyber-proactively. Think virtual. Think short-term. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. The aptitude to seize perfectly leads to the capability to strategize interactively. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. The e-business eyeballs factor is user-centric. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We will add to our ability to harness without lessening our capability to transition. We will empower the capacity of e-tailers to generate. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate macro-efficiently than to mesh seamlessly. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for coping with new structuring reports? the fish practically invented the term "e-tailers". Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. If you extend dynamically, you may have to engineer dynamically. Without deliverables, you will lack real-world turn-key, B2B, robust, C2C2B data hygiene. The re-sizing factor is wireless. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable structuring and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Without platforms, you will lack development. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We often reinvent plug-and-play returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We realize that if you morph magnetically then you may also synergize ultra-perfectly.