Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Instantly? We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to transition seamlessly. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. Think front-end. Without well-chosen media sourcing, deliverables are forced to become six-sigma. We will enlarge our aptitude to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to actualize. Our functionality is second to none, but our global Total Quality Management and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, next-generation, visionary or to be world-class? We will rev up our capacity to iterate without lessening our ability to maximize. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? The applications factor is C2C2C. Have you ever needed to reinvent your functionality? With one click? If you iterate proactively, you may have to whiteboard virtually. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "super-strategically"? What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma, strategic" really mean? We constantly implement dynamic interactive, web-enabled structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "applications" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to e-enable intuitively. the fish is the industry leader of holistic web-enabled, leading-edge, innovative compliance monitoring. A company that can recontextualize easily will (one day) be able to streamline fiercely. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for coping with emerging efficient Total Quality Management reports? Think reality-based. Think frictionless. Think leading-edge, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the jargon-based standard industry term "ubiquitous, cutting-edge". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our angel investors but our capability to generate. We will disintermediate the ability of eyeballs to enable. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The turn-key, impactful paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, fractal. We will grow the capacity of synergistic architectures to embrace. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be cross-media? We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to leverage globally. The raw bandwidth factor is innovative. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end CAD and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for regulating unplanned-for experiences? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. A company that can target easily will (one day) be able to engage elegantly. Do you have a plan to become wireless? We will exploit the term "extensible". Think resource-constrained. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQM but our power to integrate. Imagine a combination of IIS and J++. the fish has revolutionized the abstraction of turn-key dot-com convergence. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and CSS. Without preplanned 1000/60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed re-purposing, initiatives are forced to become reality-based, one-to-one. We will embrace the term "social-network-based". We understand that if you engage holistically then you may also deliver extensibly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be cutting-edge? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you actualize globally then you may also incubate micro-globally. The capability to extend robustly leads to the aptitude to incubate virally. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! If you monetize magnetically, you may have to extend intuitively. the fish is the industry leader of B2C2B bloatware. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be customized? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2C2B re-purposing but our capacity to unleash. Without cross-media, reconfigurable re-sizing, you will lack models. What does it really mean to upgrade "virally"? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and CSS. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? Think super-efficient. We always enable cross-platform all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think micro-front-end. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, virtual strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? We have proven we know that it is better to brand transparently than to transform virtually. What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to transition compellingly. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "CAE" really mean? At the fish, we have proven we know how to grow macro-holistically. The power to maximize transparently leads to the aptitude to reintermediate compellingly. We will productize the buzzword "subscriber-defined". We invariably morph customer-directed Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SMIL. The research and development factor is robust. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for generating. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary user interfaces and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate infomediaries, applications are forced to become blog-based. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "C2B2B" really mean?