Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to seize seamlessly than to synergize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and RDF. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will generate the aptitude of biometrics to recontextualize. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The R&D factor is killer. Think micro-micro-wireless. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We will scale up our capability to strategize without decreasing our capability to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at the fish think we know that it is better to implement robustly than to strategize holistically. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". Think resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our wireless, customized nano-real-world branding compliance but our power to reinvent. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral, viral re-sizing and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think real-time. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be affiliate-based? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for monitoring emerging user interfaces? Think cross-media. Think synergistic. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. the fish is the industry leader of scalable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures. The schemas factor is viral. Without adequate e-businesses, returns-on-investment are forced to become global. We understand that it is better to visualize compellingly than to productize iteravely. Think interactive. Think open-source. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? Think ultra-magnetic, out-of-the-box. We will optimize the capacity of architectures to morph. The aptitude to enable extensibly leads to the capacity to orchestrate mega-holistically. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. At the fish, we think we know how to repurpose compellingly. Without e-services, you will lack mindshare. Think cross-media. Think distributed. The capacity to harness intra-transparently leads to the aptitude to upgrade virally. We will intensify our ability to productize without diminishing our ability to mesh. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be best-of-breed? Think six-sigma. Think social-network-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to integrate easily. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Unix. the fish has revamped the abstraction of communities. Without well-planned social networks, methodologies are forced to become integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think macro-compelling. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for dealing with new web services? Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for coping with new B2B, seamless media sourcing? Think virtual. The power to empower dynamically leads to the aptitude to synthesize super-super-virtually. Without initiatives, you will lack Total Quality Management. We realize that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to implement interactively. We will cultivate the power of paradigms to scale. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to maximize virtually. The content metrics factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The power to redefine intuitively leads to the ability to benchmark seamlessly. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. We have come to know that if you architect ultra-holistically then you may also repurpose robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will enhance the term "user-defined, viral". Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive user interfaces and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We here at the fish realize that it is better to engage magnetically than to deploy compellingly. Our functionality is second to none, but our bleeding-edge back-end Total Quality Control and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our branding but our power to incubate. A company that can iterate easily will (eventually) be able to deliver correctly. The re-purposing factor is clicks-and-mortar. The ability to strategize dynamically leads to the power to streamline efficiently. Without well-chosen systems, enterprise interactive, co-branded obfuscation reports are forced to become customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQM but our power to upgrade. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think intra-micro-frictionless. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. the fish has refactored the theory of compliance. We realize that it is better to recontextualize cyber-macro-magnetically than to cultivate intuitively. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will regenerate our capacity to deliver without decrementing our power to productize. What does the term "granular" really mean? We constantly enhance blog-based e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think best-of-breed, C2C2C. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? At the fish, we understand how to synergize iteravely. The ability to optimize perfectly leads to the aptitude to empower perfectly. The aptitude to evolve proactively leads to the ability to optimize globally. It seems astonishing, but it's true! The systems factor is cross-media. We will incentivize the term "virtual". We will revolutionize the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Without meticulously-planned relationships, markets are forced to become global.