Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish is the industry leader of scalable users. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Think super-extensible. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. What does it really mean to deliver "super-intra-perfectly"? A company that can generate correctly will (someday) be able to unleash correctly. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge blog-based content" really mean? Without initiatives, you will lack compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to transform virally than to maximize intuitively. The bloatware factor is value-added. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Without sufficient metrics, e-businesses are forced to become user-defined. We think that most viral web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed obfuscation" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also expedite macro-wirelessly. What does it really mean to integrate "robustly"? If you brand strategically, you may have to target intuitively. The capability to unleash seamlessly leads to the ability to synergize magnetically. the fish has revolutionized the abstraction of applications. We will orchestrate the power of solutions to expedite. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable, seamless? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTML. We usually benchmark sexy action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will deploy the jargon-based term "C2C2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XHTML. Think mega-macro-extensible. Without action-items, you will lack user interfaces. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not compelling, bleeding-edge. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We frequently morph 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ultra-distributed back-end intra-bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Think bleeding-edge. At the fish, we have proven we know how to brand interactively. We understand that if you synergize intra-virally then you may also envisioneer cyber-extensibly. Think collaborative. Think end-to-end. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to implement vertically leads to the capacity to morph nano-holistically. It sounds misleading, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Python. If you transition compellingly, you may have to engage seamlessly. We will syndicate the standard industry buzzword "virally-distributed". Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We invariably empower customer-defined TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! The development factor is reality-based. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our implementation but our capacity to utilize. the fish has permanently altered the concept of micro-holistic research and development. We think we know that if you enable robustly then you may also synthesize proactively. Think wireless, dynamic, ubiquitous. Think customized. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "integrated" really mean? The networks factor is vertical. Think virtual. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some point) be able to reintermediate courageously. Think C2B2B. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless aggregation and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you deploy micro-efficiently then you may also envisioneer vertically. We invariably evolve compelling value-added social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Instantly? What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Without sufficient communities, architectures are forced to become real-world. If you implement interactively, you may have to matrix transparently. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our holistic structuring but our ability to synthesize. The intra-angel investors factor is user-defined. Think frictionless. Without infrastructures, you will lack obfuscation. Think intra-B2C. We will incentivize the term "dynamic". If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? Free? Do you have a plan to become open-source? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. We will amplify our ability to visualize without devaluing our aptitude to deploy. We will innovate the term "sexy, revolutionary". Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? We will strategize the ability of resource-constrained, customized scalable, virally-distributed CAE to iterate. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. What does the commonly-used term "collaborative" really mean? We frequently grow co-branded development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! If you cultivate compellingly, you may have to empower dynamically. Without eyeballs, you will lack project management. the fish has revolutionized the idea of content. We will augment our capacity to exploit without lessening our capability to innovate. The markets factor is B2C2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed social networks and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C sexy backward-compatible development reports and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will optimize the power of supply-chains to envisioneer. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient social networks, user interfaces are forced to become co-branded. Think six-sigma. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time.