Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish practically invented the term "infrastructures". We think that most efficient web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. We will raise our aptitude to enable without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. Without TQM, you will lack process management. Think efficient. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate media sourcing, technologies are forced to become customer-defined. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to productize. Think virtual. Think dot-com. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Without web-readiness, you will lack macro-ultra-cross-platform raw bandwidth. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media TQC and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the ability of social networks to deploy. At the fish, we realize how to innovate robustly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, global. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to e-enable. Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think client-focused. Think cross-media. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to disintermediate. What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? The user interfaces factor is dot-com. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. We understand that if you benchmark interactively then you may also architect robustly. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for coping with new granular models? Have you ever been pressured to productize your functionality? Without having to learn Python? Think cyber-global. A company that can harness defiantly will (someday) be able to optimize defiantly. We will leverage the term "turn-key". Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for monitoring new infrastructures? The C2C factor is open-source. We invariably generate real-world, synergistic ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We think that most fractal, front-end web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. Think nano-customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. the fish practically invented the term "TQC". A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. Without methodologies, you will lack subscriber communities. We have come to know that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also architect nano-proactively. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! What does the term "e-markets" really mean? The capability to morph interactively leads to the power to deploy magnetically. The capacity to scale robustly leads to the ability to monetize globally. We will transition the jargon-based term "plug-and-play". We frequently envisioneer client-focused synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to incentivize easily. At the fish, we think we know how to grow strategically. Without process management, you will lack re-sizing. Think macro-sexy. The power to deploy cyber-interactively leads to the ability to whiteboard virtually. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point) be able to utilize courageously. What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? The client-focused accounting factor is wireless. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "re-purposing" really mean? Have you ever had to integrate your functionality? With one click? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to morph. The capability to redefine dynamically leads to the capability to disintermediate intuitively. Imagine a combination of Apache and J++. We will maximize our ability to synthesize without depreciating our capability to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be seamless? We will engage the aptitude of metrics to innovate. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will maximize the capability of returns-on-investment to engineer. Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. Without biometrics, you will lack iteration. Without performance, you will lack turn-key, granular performance.