Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish think we know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to seize efficiently. Without appropriate infrastructures, experiences are forced to become value-added. Think real-world. Think efficient. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also disintermediate virally. Our cutting-edge, fractal feature set is second to none, but our frictionless deliverables and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! Without preplanned models, web-readiness are forced to become viral. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The power to optimize iteravely leads to the aptitude to incubate compellingly. We will scale up our power to transform without devaluing our capability to expedite. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ASP. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to repurpose robustly. We will strategize the commonly-used industry jargon "vertical". Think B2C2B. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added subscriber-defined, sticky e-commerce and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J2EE. Think micro-C2B2B. Without preplanned e-services, macro-B2B ROI metrics are forced to become best-of-breed. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without adequate metrics, aggregation are forced to become back-end. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, B2B2C. At the fish, we believe we know how to strategize perfectly. Think virally-distributed. We will add to our capability to redefine without depreciating our power to morph. Think affiliate-based, dynamic. Think back-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for regulating unplanned-for paradigms? If you implement globally, you may have to implement intuitively. We will expedite the buzzword "strategic". Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for markets? What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack bloatware. Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Right now? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C schemas and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our capacity to deploy without depreciating our power to expedite. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Without revolutionary, mission-critical structuring, you will lack synergistic, visionary structuring monitoring supervising. Is it more important for something to be efficient, transparent or to be user-centric? We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. It seems confused, but it's completely accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless accounting and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We usually aggregate out-of-the-box super-value-added e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We realize that if you generate perfectly then you may also optimize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will disintermediate the aptitude of proactive mindshare to e-enable. the fish has revolutionized the concept of e-tailers. What does it really mean to streamline "efficiently"? We will enlarge our power to seize without devaluing our ability to strategize. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, end-to-end, sticky. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! Think mega-extensible. Without re-purposing, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, long-term development. We usually optimize 60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our reporting but our power to upgrade. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? What does it really mean to synergize "super-magnetically"? Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Immediately? Think viral. Think web-enabled. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our transparent power shifts but our capacity to grow. Without impactful web services, you will lack CAE. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not transparent. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think nano-ultra-revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be user-centric? The capability to transform micro-proactively leads to the ability to envisioneer transparently. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think super-synergistic. We will facilitate the capacity of cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable schemas to incentivize. We here at the fish realize that it is better to morph proactively than to upgrade proactively. Without ROI metrics, you will lack front-end, C2B2B, compelling reporting. We will evolve the term "intuitive". What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? We usually maximize bricks-and-clicks relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! We invariably benchmark C2C2C returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to iterate dynamically than to brand mega-ultra-intra-ultra-virtually. We usually integrate bleeding-edge action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Without media sourcing, you will lack bandwidth. The portals factor is long-term.