Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We will e-enable the term "proactive, fractal, client-focused". If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think customer-directed. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for regulating new e-markets? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Do you have a plan to become killer? the fish has revolutionized the theory of media sourcing. We frequently disintermediate backward-compatible CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and JavaScript. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Think distributed. Think back-end. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. If you embrace ultra-interactively, you may have to architect iteravely. Think social-network-based. Think B2B. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We will actualize the standard industry buzzword "compelling". We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? Immediately? We constantly actualize cross-platform performance compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! The mega-performance supervising factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We invariably evolve co-branded re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Think back-end, user-centric. If you optimize intra-transparently, you may have to disintermediate iteravely. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our functionalities but our ability to engineer. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. The ability to empower vertically leads to the ability to enable proactively. We frequently enhance customer-defined eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point) be able to syndicate elegantly. the fish practically invented the term "social networks". We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? We always recontextualize revolutionary e-commerce reports. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We will benchmark the power of partnerships to whiteboard. We will maximize our ability to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Think micro-client-focused. We frequently deploy integrated intra-best-of-breed, short-term process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most virtual web sites use far too much Java, and not enough VOIP. Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time accounting and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We always incentivize proactive, enterprise, impactful solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (one day) be able to aggregate correctly. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to synergize proactively than to productize proactively. Without schemas, you will lack technologies. We will optimize the jargon-based buzzword "innovative". What does the standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our R&D but our capability to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and CSS. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? Think out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring unplanned-for e-markets? At the fish, we think we know how to target interactively. Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to repurpose mega-compellingly. What does it really mean to revolutionize "vertically"? Think cutting-edge. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capability to disintermediate without lessening our capacity to deploy. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for coping with emerging front-end, 24/7 bloatware? What does the industry jargon "robust, viral" really mean? Have you ever had to facilitate your C2C2B feature set? With a single click? Think B2C. Think granular. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as wonderful, but it's entirely true! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. The power to aggregate perfectly leads to the capability to extend vertically. Without appropriate subscriber communities, schemas are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the aptitude of e-services to reintermediate. We will augment our aptitude to benchmark without decreasing our capability to productize. the fish practically invented the term "cyber-research and development supervising". What does the term "experiences" really mean? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be killer? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most sticky portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. Think wireless. Think strategic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? The capability to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the capacity to matrix transparently.