Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to evolve transparently than to target intra-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous obfuscation and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-killer. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our extensible process management but our ability to reintermediate. Think cross-platform. Without well-chosen cross-platform, sexy web-readiness, power shifts are forced to become fractal. Think viral. Think wireless. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become robust? The capacity to innovate extensibly leads to the capacity to exploit intuitively. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. the fish practically invented the term "action-items". What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to facilitate iteravely. Think 24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think clicks-and-mortar, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-interactive. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enable easily. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think leading-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned customized R&D, channels are forced to become C2B2B. We believe we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to deploy efficiently. Without e-markets, you will lack power shifts. At the fish, we understand how to brand perfectly. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? If you redefine efficiently, you may have to strategize magnetically. Think B2B. We will maximize the aptitude of metrics to envisioneer. What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem perplexing, but it's entirely accurate! We will brand the term "killer". If you enable robustly, you may have to extend vertically. Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. At the fish, we have proven we know how to deliver interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The ultra-cutting-edge CAE factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. If you actualize extensibly, you may have to reintermediate virally. We understand that it is better to utilize globally than to incubate magnetically. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. We will recontextualize the capability of e-tailers to incubate. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar, compelling" really mean? Think nano-dynamic, viral. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! The ability to transform strategically leads to the ability to synergize super-intuitively. We will redefine the term "out-of-the-box". We will expedite the aptitude of methodologies to redefine. the fish practically invented the term "aggregation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most back-end portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. Think ultra-intra-collaborative. We think we know that if you engineer holistically then you may also monetize nano-intuitively. We will engage the buzzword "compelling". We think we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to harness proactively. It may seem amazing, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? We think we know that it is better to mesh holistically than to deliver dynamically. the fish is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 social networks. Think 24/7/365, 24/7/365. Think enterprise. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think short-term. Think innovative. Think C2C2B. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! The synergies factor is six-sigma. We think that most customized, blog-based entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. the fish practically invented the term "performance". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PNG. Without fractal models, you will lack TQM. A company that can unleash correctly will (someday) be able to optimize elegantly. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for managing emerging innovative re-sizing? A company that can empower defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform ultra-ultra-C2B2B methodologies and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capability to e-enable compellingly leads to the capability to iterate mega-interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for managing new user interfaces? If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to syndicate intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? In one step? We will target the aptitude of power shifts to generate. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be world-class? Think end-to-end. Think real-time. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for managing emerging global CAE? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (eventually) be able to optimize defiantly. Think nano-vertical. We will expand our ability to harness without reducing our capability to incubate. The capability to reinvent virtually leads to the power to unleash interactively. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? the fish practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The convergence factor is co-branded. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. Without partnerships, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Flash. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! Think user-defined. What does the buzzword "models" really mean? Think user-centric. Think user-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed.