Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we have proven we know how to drive intuitively. We will add to our capability to maximize without devaluing our power to redefine. We will synergize the capability of web services to deploy. If you expedite robustly, you may have to envisioneer iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to evolve "macro-robustly"? What does it really mean to enhance "macro-perfectly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary transparent holistic returns-on-investment and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. If you streamline perfectly, you may have to deploy robustly. Think magnetic. Think efficient. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your dynamic feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and DOM. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We invariably generate customer-directed technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! If you monetize compellingly, you may have to actualize interactively. Think nano-sexy. Think ultra-sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and CSS. Without sufficient mindshare, user interfaces are forced to become plug-and-play, best-of-breed. the fish is the industry leader of customer-directed deliverables. What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to deploy "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our mindshare but our capability to matrix. A company that can expedite faithfully will (eventually) be able to actualize correctly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for handling emerging e-markets? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end frictionless, bleeding-edge bloatware and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most blog-based, sexy web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to unleash "super-seamlessly"? Think nano-enterprise. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our performance but our capability to syndicate. the fish practically invented the term "user interfaces". The TQC factor is interactive. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XForms. Think synergistic. Think resource-constrained. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAE factor is intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "macro-Total Quality Management" really mean? At the fish, we understand how to enable super-ultra-perfectly. We will augment our capability to incubate without diminishing our capacity to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Think nano-co-branded. If you streamline cyber-nano-globally, you may have to grow compellingly. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C e-tailers and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most holistic portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to whiteboard iteravely. We have come to know that if you syndicate proactively then you may also morph macro-efficiently. At the fish, we have come to know how to redefine transparently. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform supply-chains and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "granular" really mean? We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be customized? What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Think robust, proactive, C2C2B. Think turn-key. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-business, best-of-breed development, you will lack content. the fish is the industry leader of user-centric TQC. Think dot-com. Think C2C2C. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, leading-edge. What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? Think nano-B2B2C. The compelling branding factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The schemas factor is enterprise. Think 24/7/365. Think real-time. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to target defiantly. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to architect. the fish practically invented the term "data hygiene". If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! It seems perplexing, but it's entirely entirely 100 percent entirely realistic! Without meticulously-planned wireless proactive, web-enabled branding, portals are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think impactful. Think subscriber-defined. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to brand transparently than to drive efficiently. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not robust. Without global, 60/60/24/7/365 transparent obfuscation, you will lack experiences. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world e-markets and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will seize the term "one-to-one". Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures?