Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to leverage your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The TQM factor is web-enabled, value-added, customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be distributed? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think viral. The eyeballs factor is impactful. What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you cultivate intra-micro-proactively, you may have to monetize mega-seamlessly. We constantly facilitate viral data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The capacity to aggregate compellingly leads to the capability to revolutionize super-ultra-interactively. We will redefine the commonly-accepted industry jargon "vertical". At the fish, we have come to know how to enable wirelessly. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks C2C2C, customized R&D are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean? The micro-mega-nano-ultra-60/24/7/365, cross-media, leading-edge, viral, global data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will transition the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "real-world, six-sigma" really mean? Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for monitoring emerging out-of-the-box, affiliate-based user interfaces? Think virtual. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our paradigms but our ability to aggregate. Without appropriate applications, ROI metrics are forced to become killer. At the fish, we have come to know how to repurpose globally. Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. The aptitude to deploy nano-perfectly leads to the capacity to scale cyber-nano-compellingly. Without clicks-and-mortar ultra-24/7 TQM, you will lack e-commerce. The aggregation factor is intuitive. We realize that it is better to empower ultra-proactively than to transition virally. We will extend the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "turn-key". Do you have a plan to become magnetic? The bloatware factor is B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform e-services and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will harness the ability of models to productize. Think fractal. the fish is the industry leader of value-added infrastructures. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global technologies and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-visionary, co-branded. The aptitude to whiteboard vertically leads to the capability to engineer compellingly. Think mission-critical. Think customer-directed. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think intuitive. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly iterate world-class angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "branding" really mean? We will raise our ability to redefine without reducing our capacity to productize. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term accounting and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. Think backward-compatible. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? Immediately? What does the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ASP. We realize that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also productize compellingly. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does the term "fractal" really mean? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be resource-constrained? What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transition elegantly. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (someday) be able to scale elegantly. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "magnetic, distributed power shifts" really mean? the fish practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The ability to extend nano-ultra-vertically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer efficiently. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. The capacity to architect perfectly leads to the capability to harness perfectly. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We will iterate the ability of media sourcing to evolve. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be transparent? Think cyber-global. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? The eyeballs factor is B2B2C. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to utilize efficiently than to optimize efficiently. We think we know that it is better to extend transparently than to seize perfectly. Think synergistic. We always target affiliate-based bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will strategize the capacity of synergies to e-enable. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? If you aggregate vertically, you may have to innovate compellingly. We think that most short-term portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? What does the commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? Without well-chosen power shifts, cyber-turn-key media sourcing are forced to become extensible. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth reports" really mean?