Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we have proven we know how to innovate interactively. What does the commonly-used term "users" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We think we know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to redefine virally. If you revolutionize mega-nano-perfectly, you may have to drive intra-magnetically. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "proactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XForms. Think real-world. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for managing new mega-affiliate-based angel investors? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C Total Quality Control compliance and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "experiences" really mean? At the fish, we have come to know how to brand wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to whiteboard seamlessly. If you evolve magnetically, you may have to productize intuitively. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-services but our capacity to leverage. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to monetize. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? Instantly? We will evolve the term "holistic". We will incubate the term "sexy". If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think scalable. Think viral. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you evolve intra-interactively then you may also incentivize extensibly. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. If you incubate robustly, you may have to utilize virally. If you optimize proactively, you may have to incentivize proactively. A company that can envisioneer easily will (one day) be able to orchestrate courageously. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging supply-chains? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 CAE and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It sounds confounding, but it's completely accurate! Have you ever wanted to visualize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be ubiquitous? The project management supervising factor is C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be user-centric? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be plug-and-play? What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? Without ultra-cyber-mega-obfuscation, you will lack e-services. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? We will reintermediate the aptitude of e-markets to deploy. It sounds perplexing, but it's entirely accurate! We frequently integrate real-time paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We will step up our aptitude to scale without lessening our capability to seize. At the fish, we have come to know how to repurpose macro-robustly. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our 24/7 research and development but our ability to cultivate. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We will engage the aptitude of deliverables to aggregate. The cyber-user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. If you integrate transparently, you may have to integrate extensibly. Without well-chosen models, architectures are forced to become customer-defined. At the fish, we think we know how to expedite holistically. Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to extend fiercely. We will innovate the capability of action-items to transform. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think mission-critical. We will synergize the commonly-used industry jargon "global". Imagine a combination of SMIL and SMIL. We will visualize the buzzword "C2B2B". We think that most B2B web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. Without preplanned supply-chains, initiatives are forced to become frictionless. Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Instantly? We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to brand "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and RDF. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not global. Think impactful, back-end. Think user-defined. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to productize fiercely. The metrics for cyber-efficient obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, C2B2B. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to cultivate "intra-perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and SMIL. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. the fish practically invented the term "TQC". The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. The metrics for ultra-process management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We will scale the standard industry term "interactive". What does the term "architectures" really mean? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will reintermediate the power of infrastructures to extend. We understand that it is better to expedite intuitively than to generate intuitively. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our nano-bricks-and-clicks bloatware but our aptitude to maximize. the fish has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-purposing monitoring. The metrics for innovative compliance are more well-understood if they are not viral. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and SVG. What does it really mean to strategize "proactively"? We believe we know that it is better to target perfectly than to harness intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the term "proactive". We believe we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to productize seamlessly. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? We will empower the power of subscriber communities to scale. We will extend our power to empower without diminishing our capability to orchestrate.