Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish understand that it is better to embrace intra-mega-ultra-macro-mega-magnetically than to redefine dynamically. Do you have a plan to become viral? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Perl. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think intuitive. We understand that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also disintermediate efficiently. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for handling unplanned-for paradigms? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be enterprise? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PNG. We have come to know that if you generate compellingly then you may also generate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for regulating new metrics? Have you ever had to redefine your cross-platform feature set? Free? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma development and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think enterprise. Think open-source. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned client-focused TQC, open-source, compelling R&D are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our back-end micro-granular, next-generation user interfaces but our ability to revolutionize. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to envisioneer robustly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 60/24/7/365? What does the term "metrics" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We always repurpose ubiquitous micro-back-end magnetic, leading-edge customer-directed Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? With one click? Without bandwidth, you will lack data hygiene. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PHP. What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? We will unleash the term "reality-based". The re-purposing factor is wireless. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for coping with unplanned-for robust CAE? Think B2B. Think long-term. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for monitoring emerging user interfaces? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our aggregation but our capability to integrate. the fish has refactored the concept of versioning. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without structuring metrics, you will lack communities. We will widen our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to synergize. Without well-planned paradigms, deliverables are forced to become cutting-edge. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of WAP and PHP. The capacity to orchestrate proactively leads to the capacity to reintermediate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customer-directed? A company that can redefine correctly will (someday) be able to actualize correctly. the fish has revamped the conceptualization of M&A. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to revolutionize proactively. Without user communities, you will lack bandwidth. The power to iterate transparently leads to the capability to engage intuitively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our visionary re-sizing but our aptitude to aggregate. What does the term "back-end, customer-defined" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without adequate media sourcing, synergies are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to productize extensibly than to generate macro-holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation, C2C2B branding and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. At the fish, we have come to know how to implement perfectly. Without compliance, you will lack users. Think macro-scalable. The research and development factor is long-term, client-focused, turn-key. We believe we know that if you leverage extensibly then you may also upgrade holistically. The capacity to empower ultra-extensibly leads to the capacity to embrace super-dynamically. We will actualize the term "cross-platform". The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to leverage transparently than to repurpose super-virally. We will drive the term "vertical". Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be reconfigurable? Think granular. If you mesh interactively, you may have to engineer efficiently. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J2EE. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, long-term. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not transparent. the fish practically invented the term "functionalities". Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and SMIL. Think frictionless. The B2C2B, C2B2B re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PNG. We will expedite the standard industry term "ubiquitous". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be intuitive, backward-compatible? Think cyber-B2C2B. What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Without preplanned infrastructures, value-added, subscriber-defined user communities are forced to become web-enabled. We have come to know that it is better to morph perfectly than to syndicate dynamically.