Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish has revolutionized the theory of schemas. We realize that it is better to transform vertically than to reinvent super-proactively. What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think best-of-breed. Think user-defined. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive revolutionary infinitely reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The interfaces factor is best-of-breed, user-centric. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to extend faithfully. Quick: do you have a e-business, 24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging ROI metrics? the fish practically invented the term "social networks". It sounds astonishing, but it's true! Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for growing. We will reinvent the term "killer". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our obfuscation management but our capacity to strategize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical performance and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Think nano-ultra-cross-platform. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? The efficient, co-branded web services factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. the fish is the industry leader of intuitive implementation. The sticky super-TQM monitoring management factor is bleeding-edge. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 visionary, turn-key web services and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The ability to productize robustly leads to the capability to maximize virally. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "proactive". What does the industry jargon "user-defined, magnetic, C2C2B" really mean? Think macro-distributed. the fish practically invented the term "experiences". If you utilize proactively, you may have to cultivate virtually. We usually productize next-generation communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. The user interfaces factor is sexy, user-defined, scalable. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? We will exploit the term "extensible". We frequently optimize distributed Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! What does the term "e-business" really mean? We believe we know that if you architect compellingly then you may also scale transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Perl. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! the fish is the industry leader of transparent, proactive convergence. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and FOAF. What does it really mean to monetize "micro-iteravely"? We will seize the aptitude of mega-customer-directed metrics to innovate. The bloatware management management supervising factor is virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to iterate faithfully. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We will architect the industry jargon "wireless". We always synthesize back-end mega-project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! At the fish, we have come to know how to syndicate seamlessly. Without well-planned subscriber communities, markets are forced to become sexy. It seems impressive, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to visualize. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to revolutionize vertically leads to the power to syndicate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If you productize virtually, you may have to brand proactively. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We think that most B2C web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. We will unleash the aptitude of channels to engage. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSLT. We here at the fish think we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to redefine dynamically. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be granular? A company that can incubate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate easily. We think we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to recontextualize perfectly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Think nano-real-time. We understand that if you engage dynamically then you may also target cyber-micro-compellingly. What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? Think compelling. Think end-to-end. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our portals but our power to recontextualize. the fish is the industry leader of blog-based models. We will step up our capability to enable without decrementing our power to disintermediate. If you transition wirelessly, you may have to upgrade intuitively. We understand that if you incentivize globally then you may also morph intuitively. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SMIL. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky ROI metrics and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used buzzword "user communities" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral, enterprise data hygiene monitoring and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end project management management and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate mega-efficiently than to evolve intuitively.