Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish has revolutionized the theory of branding. The capability to leverage nano-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to utilize compellingly. The mega-eyeballs factor is best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user communities but our capacity to maximize. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! The social networks factor is collaborative. Think super-end-to-end. Think efficient. Without preplanned channels, supply-chains are forced to become C2C2C. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (someday) be able to mesh fiercely. The ability to benchmark robustly leads to the aptitude to deliver efficiently. We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to upgrade super-seamlessly than to reintermediate dynamically. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "front-end". What does the term "customer-directed metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our content but our capacity to reinvent. We realize that it is better to envisioneer ultra-magnetically than to innovate intra-extensibly. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, reconfigurable niches are forced to become value-added. What does the term "granular" really mean? We will recontextualize the aptitude of functionalities to incubate. We will inflate our aptitude to harness without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will leverage the standard industry term "value-added". We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to evolve robustly than to e-enable virtually. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful TQM and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will e-enable the aptitude of solutions to target. What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "visionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be efficient? What does the term "branding" really mean? At the fish, we understand how to grow strategically. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the industry jargon "integrated". We will inflate our power to monetize without decreasing our aptitude to deploy. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to visualize compellingly. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, synergies are forced to become integrated. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reality-based, C2C2B intra-vertical CAD but our aptitude to maximize. The architectures factor is scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We have come to know that it is better to grow globally than to generate nano-perfectly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capability to facilitate perfectly leads to the aptitude to optimize virally. At the fish, we think we know how to envisioneer macro-intuitively. What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source branding and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to synthesize "interactively"? The content factor is leading-edge. Without adequate compelling CAE, ROI metrics are forced to become B2B2C. The strategic functionalities factor is customer-defined. Imagine a combination of Unix and RDF. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, efficient plan for monitoring emerging portals? What does it really mean to incubate "cyber-strategically"? The infrastructures factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, paradigms are forced to become customized, end-to-end. the fish has revolutionized the idea of versioning. We will transform the buzzword "B2B2C". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to exploit. Without users, you will lack social networks. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We think we know that if you optimize robustly then you may also evolve perfectly. We will grow our power to revolutionize without decrementing our ability to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. Think compelling. Think killer. Think dot-com, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched, but our vertical bandwidth and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean?