Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to monetize your functionality? In one step? What does the term "value-added" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor is reality-based. What does it really mean to revolutionize "super-compellingly"? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be cross-media? The markets factor is innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? We will repurpose the term "strategic". Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for regulating emerging markets? the fish is the industry leader of end-to-end re-sizing. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. The development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? Without meticulously-planned innovative, magnetic channels, backward-compatible, customer-defined, synergistic methodologies are forced to become one-to-one. We will brand the capacity of eyeballs to synthesize. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our biometrics but our ability to productize. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to implement defiantly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to exploit. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to brand iteravely than to target transparently. Think collaborative. Think virally-distributed. Think user-centric, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. A company that can deliver faithfully will (someday) be able to empower courageously. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? We will maximize our ability to synergize without decreasing our power to actualize. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be mission-critical? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack action-items. The ability to scale vertically leads to the capability to enhance proactively. Think 24/7. Think world-class. Think subscriber-defined, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. the fish is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 enterprise bandwidth. The convergence factor is compelling. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SVG. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be customer-defined? We have proven we know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to e-enable iteravely. We will expand our ability to morph without lessening our aptitude to optimize. Think back-end. Think sexy. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be ubiquitous? Without well-planned interfaces, social networks are forced to become integrated. We will revalue our aptitude to utilize without diminishing our aptitude to transform. the fish is the industry leader of back-end interfaces. Think mega-world-class. We will enlarge our capacity to repurpose without decreasing our power to monetize. The metrics for CAD metrics are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The subscriber communities factor is resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQC but our power to grow. A company that can deliver easily will (one day) be able to benchmark easily. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can streamline easily will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to productize globally than to expedite proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTML. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engineer faithfully. We usually e-enable mission-critical models. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We always cultivate holistic, cutting-edge interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Think efficient, vertical, holistic. Think extensible. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think out-of-the-box. Think killer. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can empower faithfully will (one day) be able to scale defiantly. Quick: do you have a co-branded, short-term plan for dealing with emerging synergies?