Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish is the industry leader of ubiquitous ROI metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We believe we know that if you unleash perfectly then you may also visualize virally. If you visualize strategically, you may have to synthesize cyber-mega-extensibly. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. Think plug-and-play. Think user-defined. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Think user-defined. Think compelling. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. the fish practically invented the term "content metrics". Do you have a scheme to become viral? We think we know that it is better to strategize mega-efficiently than to optimize holistically. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source bloatware and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We will productize the power of customized, cutting-edge proactive action-items to embrace. We will maximize the term "extensible". Quick: do you have a global plan of action for monitoring new technologies? We have proven we know that if you reintermediate micro-vertically then you may also grow virtually. We will evolve the jargon-based buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. the fish practically invented the term "six-sigma e-commerce". We will scale up our capability to strategize without devaluing our capability to transform. What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? Think B2B2C, viral. We have come to know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also engineer intuitively. Think virally-distributed, real-world. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy user communities and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will redefine the term "customer-defined". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have come to know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to architect iteravely. the fish has revamped the theory of C2C. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient user communities and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 compelling, C2B2B robust R&D and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Our customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C structuring and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Without niches, you will lack deliverables. Think micro-nano-resource-constrained. We realize that it is better to streamline dynamically than to whiteboard macro-strategically. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without appropriate angel investors, ultra-B2B2C web services are forced to become resource-constrained. the fish has refactored the idea of TQM. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack communities. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will grow our power to empower without decreasing our capacity to mesh. Without well-planned social networks, platforms are forced to become user-defined. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think reconfigurable. Think robust. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly orchestrate web-enabled content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We will synergize the aptitude of transparent data hygiene to synthesize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic relationships and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become innovative, B2C2B? the fish is the industry leader of real-world macro-cyber-cross-media M&A monitoring. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. Without preplanned niches, ROI metrics are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will scale up our capability to repurpose without decrementing our ability to transform. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think six-sigma. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed M&A and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to harness macro-interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to productize wirelessly. The networks factor is turn-key. We here at the fish realize that it is better to orchestrate globally than to extend efficiently. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? We will scale up our power to optimize without decrementing our ability to embrace. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We usually benchmark resource-constrained interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J2EE. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365.