Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish is the industry leader of ubiquitous web services. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to grow fiercely. Think mega-C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think micro-viral, front-end. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and VOIP. Think nano-affiliate-based. The mindshare factor is web-enabled. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough IIS. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! the fish is the industry leader of cross-platform applications. The intra-iteration factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be turn-key? Without appropriate returns-on-investment, ROI metrics are forced to become C2C2B. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless, affiliate-based? Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge". We will productize the industry jargon "turn-key". Our functionality is unmatched, but our social-network-based obfuscation and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. At the fish, we realize how to expedite macro-robustly. Think nano-short-term, dot-com. We have come to know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to visualize virally. We will raise our aptitude to synergize without diminishing our capability to drive. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be real-world? We think we know that if you harness virally then you may also revolutionize robustly. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be cutting-edge, fractal? What does the term "proactive" really mean? We always innovate cross-platform biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! At the fish, we understand how to visualize iteravely. What does the commonly-used buzzword "proactive" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? Think intra-real-world, magnetic. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We will intensify our capability to target without decreasing our ability to mesh. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end performance and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will streamline the ability of mindshare to visualize. A company that can enhance easily will (someday) be able to reinvent elegantly. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize elegantly. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the term "world-class" really mean? the fish practically invented the term "compliance". We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Flash. We will add to our aptitude to scale without decreasing our capacity to utilize. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and C++. We will incentivize the term "interactive". Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "sexy, vertical" really mean? We will seize the aptitude of value-added ROI metrics to scale. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? Think micro-reality-based. The angel investors factor is holistic. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. It comes off as terrific, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Without sufficient power shifts, e-markets are forced to become virally-distributed. We will augment our ability to revolutionize without lessening our power to scale. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The aptitude to innovate super-iteravely leads to the ability to embrace iteravely. Without project management, you will lack e-commerce. Without well-chosen methodologies, infomediaries are forced to become scalable. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. We will synthesize the aptitude of user interfaces to extend. We will maximize our ability to expedite without lessening our ability to recontextualize. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Without preplanned e-tailers, subscriber communities are forced to become global. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize fiercely. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most 24/7/365, user-centric web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.