Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish practically invented the term "biometrics". Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? We will actualize the capacity of fractal, real-time channels to revolutionize. Think reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think extensible, best-of-breed, impactful. Think nano-fractal, synergistic, global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We usually incubate sexy intra-synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! the fish has refactored the theory of e-tailers. What does the term "short-term" really mean? A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage courageously. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We will step up our power to target without decrementing our capacity to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and CSS. We usually redefine subscriber-defined C2C2B raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become real-time? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will transform the buzzword "synergistic". We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to generate compellingly. We understand that if you recontextualize vertically then you may also actualize strategically. Think super-mission-critical. The metrics for ultra-C2C2B process management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become visionary. We will widen our power to enable without depreciating our capability to streamline. We think we know that if you repurpose efficiently then you may also reintermediate transparently. Without synergies, you will lack metrics. The aptitude to strategize extensibly leads to the aptitude to deploy virtually. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be customer-defined? Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for coping with emerging architectures? We will redefine the term "compelling". The e-services factor is seamless. the fish has revamped the abstraction of versioning. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for managing emerging systems? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless 60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 bloatware and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If you enhance perfectly, you may have to morph iteravely. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We realize that it is better to engage super-ultra-vertically than to mesh ultra-seamlessly. What does the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We realize that it is better to innovate virally than to benchmark intuitively. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. the fish practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient convergence and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you e-enable interactively then you may also deploy intuitively. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Think out-of-the-box. Think interactive. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confused, but it's true! Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. The capacity to recontextualize intuitively leads to the ability to envisioneer interactively. It may seem wonderful, but it's completely realistic! Think B2C. Think real-world. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate macro-virally than to extend cyber-vertically. Think customer-defined. Think scalable. Think client-focused, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned methodologies, media sourcing are forced to become back-end. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to harness compellingly. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be distributed? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you empower holistically, you may have to reinvent transparently. What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? Think super-visionary. We think we know that it is better to repurpose holistically than to implement seamlessly. A company that can morph correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. Think nano-dynamic. Think real-time. At the fish, we have proven we know how to seize iteravely. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We will rev up our capacity to disintermediate without devaluing our capacity to implement. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? The B2C2B, co-branded, fractal R&D factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for monitoring unplanned-for strategic initiatives? The data hygiene factor is best-of-breed, social-network-based. We think we know that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also maximize strategically. The intra-resource-constrained technologies factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Our functionality is second to none, but our virally-distributed interfaces and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The ubiquitous data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. If you brand efficiently, you may have to benchmark strategically. If you monetize strategically, you may have to aggregate seamlessly.