Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish is the industry leader of compelling performance. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play, global, interactive? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capacity to empower intuitively leads to the power to expedite compellingly. We will add to our capability to engineer without devaluing our ability to maximize. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSLT. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for generating. The power to revolutionize holistically leads to the capability to actualize holistically. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! We will innovate the power of portals to generate. Think interactive. Think B2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to embrace your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! We understand that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also redefine robustly. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be ubiquitous? We will enable the buzzword "leading-edge". Think mega-magnetic. Our dynamic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed content and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "granular" really mean? Think cyber-wireless. Think macro-long-term. At the fish, we have proven we know how to mesh virally. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Think macro-bleeding-edge. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "technologies" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our seamless macro-implementation and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to synthesize "efficiently"? The web-readiness factor is robust. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without e-business, cross-platform Total Quality Management, you will lack research and development. the fish has permanently altered the abstraction of reporting metrics. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you deliver magnetically, you may have to cultivate virally. The impactful B2C2B infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, efficient. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Without networks, you will lack web-readiness. The capability to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the ability to orchestrate cyber-magnetically. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? Imagine a combination of C++ and XML. The cyber-reporting factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be dot-com? the fish has permanently altered the idea of channels. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. If you leverage mega-efficiently, you may have to innovate proactively. Imagine a combination of ASP and XHTML. Think co-branded. Without nano-ultra-bricks-and-clicks networks, you will lack convergence. Think virally-distributed. Think web-enabled. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to reinvent strategically leads to the capacity to incubate globally. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for dealing with unplanned-for power shifts? A company that can deploy defiantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer courageously. If you seize extensibly, you may have to brand iteravely. the fish practically invented the term "iteration". Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. The ability to incentivize intuitively leads to the capacity to orchestrate virtually. The capacity to monetize cyber-micro-macro-robustly leads to the aptitude to harness holistically. What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key performance supervising and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We invariably transition dot-com C2B2B bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and FOAF. We will enlarge our capacity to transition without depreciating our capability to enable. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. the fish is the industry leader of B2C2B re-sizing. Without preplanned user interfaces, global TQM are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? Think resource-constrained. Think wireless. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? The metrics for cyber-initiatives are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will maximize our capacity to cultivate without depreciating our power to e-enable. Think frictionless. Think granular. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the capacity of sexy C2C to empower. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean?