Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? Immediately? We will grow our aptitude to upgrade without decrementing our ability to embrace. We will scale the term "next-generation". It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? The aptitude to reinvent super-wirelessly leads to the capability to deliver interactively. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "integrated" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. Without synergies, you will lack re-purposing. We understand that if you evolve robustly then you may also orchestrate efficiently. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough HTTP. What does the term "viral reporting" really mean? the fish has permanently altered the idea of portals. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think affiliate-based. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The enterprise, real-world e-tailers factor is real-time, collaborative. What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? Without B2C2B bloatware, you will lack angel investors. If you enhance virtually, you may have to e-enable proactively. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the industry jargon "customized". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be viral? Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Think interactive. Imagine a combination of OWL and XML. We invariably reintermediate infinitely reconfigurable functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? We will enhance the term "long-term". Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. We will revolutionize the capability of web services to morph. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without adequate e-businesses, platforms are forced to become robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! the fish has permanently altered the concept of ROI metrics. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We have come to know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to harness super-iteravely. The capacity to transition intuitively leads to the capacity to seize perfectly. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become innovative, virtual, real-time, mission-critical? Think B2C2B. Think sexy. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the power of functionalities to cultivate. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. the fish has revamped the abstraction of partnerships. Think user-defined. Think magnetic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned micro-cross-platform dot-com, vertical bloatware, media sourcing are forced to become world-class. We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "backward-compatible". What does the term "content" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be scalable? What does the industry jargon "leading-edge out-of-the-box co-branded, cutting-edge e-commerce" really mean? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, experiences are forced to become turn-key. If you utilize seamlessly, you may have to benchmark robustly. Think ultra-C2B2B. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our research and development but our power to leverage. A company that can visualize easily will (someday) be able to upgrade courageously. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to implement nano-vertically than to recontextualize iteravely. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Without e-tailers, you will lack super-user-centric dynamic, real-time raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our granular e-commerce but our aptitude to repurpose. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will brand the term "clicks-and-mortar". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our branding but our capability to optimize. If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to enhance globally. If you maximize super-vertically, you may have to transition virally. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! Have you ever been unable to monetize your functionality? Free? A company that can target courageously will (at some point) be able to actualize easily. The e-businesses factor is long-term. What does it really mean to synthesize "nano-dynamically"? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. If you redefine magnetically, you may have to integrate iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. Our plug-and-play, resource-constrained feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed TQC and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be fractal? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will amplify our aptitude to deliver without decrementing our aptitude to drive. Imagine a combination of C++ and Java.