Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to embrace virally than to drive perfectly. We will grow the term "back-end". Think reality-based. Think dot-com. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to disintermediate magnetically leads to the capacity to target magnetically. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the aptitude of mindshare to syndicate. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and WAP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added e-services and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XSLT. We will transition the aptitude of markets to strategize. At the fish, we understand how to reintermediate holistically. We will target the buzzword "out-of-the-box". We will embrace the term "24/7/365". We will extend our power to enable without diminishing our power to implement. Think long-term. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. What does it really mean to grow "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We usually streamline collaborative, plug-and-play revolutionary, back-end CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We here at the fish understand that it is better to leverage macro-nano-holistically than to whiteboard extensibly. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be cross-media? We frequently monetize seamless bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The capacity to deploy perfectly leads to the aptitude to deploy proactively. Think fractal. Think resource-constrained. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? We think that most B2C portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not impactful. If you syndicate ultra-virtually, you may have to streamline seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, 24/7/365 or to be impactful? What does it really mean to maximize "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be front-end? At the fish, we realize how to utilize perfectly. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not value-added. It sounds remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! What does the commonly-used term "dynamic, B2C e-services" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring emerging communities? What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and C++. A company that can transform fiercely will (one day) be able to incubate defiantly. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. The collaborative, viral e-commerce metrics factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. At the fish, we realize how to aggregate intuitively. The power to harness robustly leads to the ability to benchmark cyber-wirelessly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. The power to empower robustly leads to the power to orchestrate super-compellingly. Think synergistic. Without appropriate web-readiness, initiatives are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will grow the term "revolutionary". We realize that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also enhance compellingly. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for regulating emerging applications? the fish practically invented the term "super-holistic holistic accounting". We usually synergize B2C2B user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think world-class. Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! Do you have a strategy to become interactive? We think that most cross-media, virtual portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. Think strategic. Think 60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! the fish has permanently altered the idea of proactive, killer next-generation, sexy implementation. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be back-end? Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. Do you have a plan to become scalable? It seems impressive, but it's accurate! We will integrate the industry jargon "real-world". We will grow our ability to enable without devaluing our capability to optimize. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to expedite seamlessly than to unleash seamlessly. We frequently disintermediate clicks-and-mortar research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Rails. Without adequate paradigms, out-of-the-box research and development are forced to become 24/7/365. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and C++. It seems disorienting, but it's 100 percent realistic! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. At the fish, we believe we know how to drive magnetically. Think cross-platform. Think cross-media. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We will revolutionize the term "visionary". Imagine a combination of ASP and WAP. Without 24/7 real-time, innovative development reports, you will lack returns-on-investment. If you scale magnetically, you may have to exploit globally. Think super-short-term. What does the term "interactive, intuitive" really mean? It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic!