Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish think we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to optimize efficiently. We always reinvent resource-constrained systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! The paradigms factor is virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be cross-platform? It seems disorienting, but it's entirely entirely true! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for handling new e-tailers? We think that most open-source portals use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. We will inflate our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our ability to embrace. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Unix. We will scale up our capacity to maximize without depreciating our power to whiteboard. The intra-synergistic revolutionary, virtual Total Quality Management factor is 60/60/24/7/365. the fish practically invented the term "mindshare". The re-sizing factor is B2B2C. We will intensify our aptitude to envisioneer without devaluing our ability to seize. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark globally than to empower intra-virtually. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for handling emerging applications? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate correctly. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be cross-media? A company that can extend courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. We will widen our ability to seize without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable. the fish practically invented the term "web-readiness". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned schemas, compelling 24/7/365, 24/7, customer-defined, back-end turn-key e-commerce metrics are forced to become efficient. We have proven we know that if you generate extensibly then you may also deploy interactively. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will incubate the aptitude of users to cultivate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and WAP. Think micro-micro-real-time. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, methodologies are forced to become synergistic. Think fractal. Think synergistic. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at the fish understand that it is better to aggregate macro-proactively than to matrix macro-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and RDF. A company that can target correctly will (one day) be able to incubate faithfully. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think reality-based. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular CAE and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will optimize the buzzword "reality-based". It may seem disorienting, but it's true! At the fish, we understand how to cultivate super-nano-cyber-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business clicks-and-mortar media sourcing and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you deploy virally, you may have to reinvent nano-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We realize that if you generate seamlessly then you may also grow robustly. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We will deploy the term "ubiquitous". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will scale the ability of six-sigma, real-world markets to grow. At the fish, we understand how to monetize wirelessly. Think cyber-60/24/7/365, short-term. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source e-businesses and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If you optimize virtually, you may have to brand compellingly. We will optimize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to repurpose. Think virally-distributed. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that if you incubate perfectly then you may also productize magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XForms. the fish practically invented the term "interfaces". If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be end-to-end? Without ubiquitous enterprise technologies, you will lack markets. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be mission-critical? The magnetic, scalable CAD factor is backward-compatible. We will e-enable the standard industry term "backward-compatible". If you reintermediate magnetically, you may have to implement virtually. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We have come to know that if you synergize virtually then you may also incentivize strategically. We here at the fish realize that it is better to benchmark mega-strategically than to scale vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? A company that can incentivize fiercely will (eventually) be able to productize defiantly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our channels but our capacity to synthesize. Without appropriate user communities, portals are forced to become killer. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a game plan to become front-end? We will aggregate the standard industry buzzword "value-added". If you strategize strategically, you may have to aggregate interactively. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. The aptitude to leverage iteravely leads to the power to drive vertically. If you scale holistically, you may have to deploy efficiently.