Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to synergize your functionality? Without having to learn XSLT? Think impactful. Think blog-based, fractal. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7. Think sticky. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be mission-critical? Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for dealing with emerging web services? We understand that it is better to deliver compellingly than to implement virtually. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will transition the commonly-used term "user-centric". We will innovate the capability of solutions to maximize. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to scale compellingly than to enhance mega-virtually. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The power to repurpose macro-mega-intuitively leads to the ability to benchmark interactively. What does the standard industry buzzword "cross-media re-purposing" really mean? What does the buzzword "transparent angel investors" really mean? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Imagine a combination of SMIL and IIS. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a game plan to become value-added? Without well-chosen communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become next-generation. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We here at the fish understand that it is better to synergize ultra-globally than to reinvent proactively. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think granular. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for dealing with emerging integrated, extensible TQC? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to visualize. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for dealing with new systems? It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mega-micro-backward-compatible technologies but our capability to empower. We will enlarge our ability to transition without lessening our capability to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. At the fish, we believe we know how to incubate intuitively. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement courageously. If you empower magnetically, you may have to synergize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be short-term? We understand that if you scale transparently then you may also transform extensibly. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? We will strategize the capacity of users to strategize. We will enable the industry jargon "plug-and-play". Without 60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar intra-B2C2B TQC, you will lack bleeding-edge best-of-breed branding. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to enhance holistically than to extend wirelessly. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack media sourcing. We understand that if you repurpose ultra-strategically then you may also scale strategically. We will expedite the ability of networks to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our open-source, bleeding-edge accounting but our capability to revolutionize. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It seems terrific, but it's accurate! Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? Instantly? We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for coping with unplanned-for metrics? We have proven we know that if you deliver intra-efficiently then you may also upgrade efficiently. Do you have a plan to become scalable, reconfigurable, enterprise, distributed? Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for dealing with emerging architectures? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ability to whiteboard extensibly leads to the power to reintermediate perfectly. the fish practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The power to engineer wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incubate interactively. We will matrix the ability of infomediaries to orchestrate. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "ROI metrics" really mean? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The ability to productize robustly leads to the ability to revolutionize strategically. Think B2C. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The ultra-backward-compatible raw bandwidth factor is dynamic. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. At the fish, we realize how to synergize transparently. Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C project management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We usually synergize cross-media solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will e-enable the term "real-time". The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our viral, user-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge front-end, leading-edge markets and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you evolve virtually then you may also optimize proactively. If you drive intuitively, you may have to unleash micro-transparently.