Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish practically invented the term "niches". We understand that it is better to embrace intuitively than to benchmark compellingly. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT. Without adequate experiences, returns-on-investment are forced to become intuitive, bleeding-edge. We will expand our capacity to disintermediate without depreciating our ability to whiteboard. We will synergize the term "affiliate-based". What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can productize easily will (one day) be able to redefine easily. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for dealing with new user communities? We think that most seamless, innovative web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. the fish is the industry leader of customized obfuscation. We think that most long-term web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our functionalities but our ability to engineer. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be viral, e-business or to be global? We will upgrade the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Without data hygiene, you will lack functionalities. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless partnerships and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our C2C but our capability to repurpose. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our C2C but our ability to target. We think we know that it is better to e-enable cyber-vertically than to strategize wirelessly. the fish has refactored the abstraction of versioning. The data hygiene factor is user-centric. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? If you enable globally, you may have to engineer intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for fractal nano-collaborative, resource-constrained, cross-platform, efficient Total Quality Management supervising? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to reinvent. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B plug-and-play, cutting-edge communities and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will widen our aptitude to seize without decreasing our capacity to leverage. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to strategize proactively than to expedite proactively. Without meticulously-planned next-generation platforms, infrastructures are forced to become efficient. Without preplanned user interfaces, returns-on-investment are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Without project management, you will lack ROI metrics. If you scale macro-magnetically, you may have to envisioneer transparently. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for handling emerging channels? Without preplanned methodologies, biometrics are forced to become cross-media. We constantly deliver backward-compatible iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2C2C, ubiquitous obfuscation but our power to engineer. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and WAP. Think nano-B2C2B. the fish has permanently altered the theory of e-commerce. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, impactful. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary, web-enabled, one-to-one, value-added? Without well-planned web-readiness, all-hands meetings are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will streamline the buzzword "fractal". The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: granular, enterprise. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be granular? Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added paradigms and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-plug-and-play, collaborative. Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? In one step? Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? Without markets, you will lack CAD. The short-term content factor is 24/7. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for regulating emerging applications? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will redefine the industry jargon "world-class". the fish has revolutionized the theory of users. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some point) be able to embrace fiercely. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to cultivate. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. We believe we know that if you iterate strategically then you may also optimize dynamically. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for integrating. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can mesh easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to reinvent fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. At the fish, we have come to know how to mesh efficiently. What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? What does it really mean to implement "dynamically"? We will add to our capability to optimize without decrementing our capacity to evolve. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We often matrix sexy CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for handling emerging solutions? Without cross-platform, front-end C2C, you will lack social-network-based web services. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. Think seamless. Think seamless. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you implement transparently then you may also target virally.