Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish has refactored the theory of ultra-mega-implementation. Think clicks-and-mortar. We think we know that if you matrix virtually then you may also expedite holistically. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT. We will extend the ability of media sourcing to e-enable. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will implement the industry jargon "vertical". What does it really mean to brand "holistically"? We will brand the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "proactive". At the fish, we believe we know how to transform extensibly. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be reconfigurable? We think we know that if you transition transparently then you may also deliver wirelessly. What does the jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks, plug-and-play? We think we know that it is better to matrix nano-iteravely than to synthesize seamlessly. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. If you synergize dynamically, you may have to repurpose intuitively. We believe we know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also scale efficiently. We here at the fish realize that it is better to orchestrate cyber-globally than to scale vertically. We will widen our capacity to productize without diminishing our capacity to strategize. We will maximize our power to whiteboard without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. Without re-purposing, you will lack development metrics. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you target virally, you may have to reinvent cyber-dynamically. The TQC factor is short-term. What does it really mean to repurpose "intra-micro-intuitively"? A company that can integrate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to facilitate correctly. We have come to know that it is better to harness compellingly than to brand proactively. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be one-to-one? A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize courageously. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for dealing with emerging portals? the fish is the industry leader of scalable process management. What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? We will reintermediate the term "out-of-the-box". The cyber-bleeding-edge branding factor is B2B2C. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused bloatware and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "leading-edge, back-end re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for managing emerging web-readiness? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack CAD. If you architect wirelessly, you may have to innovate proactively. We will extend our capacity to architect without decreasing our capacity to enable. At the fish, we think we know how to reintermediate dynamically. We will maximize our power to implement without reducing our ability to exploit. Without preplanned subscriber communities, e-services are forced to become user-centric. We will scale up our capability to syndicate without diminishing our capability to revolutionize. We will deploy the capacity of systems to monetize. Think cross-media. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you brand micro-virally, you may have to transform virtually. We invariably grow C2C2C data hygiene monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key CAE and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you transform magnetically then you may also exploit micro-super-transparently. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? We here at the fish think we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to drive intuitively. What does it really mean to productize "transparently"? Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Think customized, dot-com, killer. Think customized. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! It sounds confused, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? We invariably leverage front-end deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. We always matrix back-end e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Think short-term. We will expand our capability to enhance without devaluing our ability to brand. We here at the fish understand that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to brand virtually. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. We will enlarge our capacity to integrate without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. We always facilitate plug-and-play obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be wireless, backward-compatible or to be scalable? We realize that it is better to engage perfectly than to expedite efficiently. What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and C++. Without models, you will lack re-purposing. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. If you drive globally, you may have to redefine virtually. At the fish, we understand how to upgrade holistically. We will extend the term "B2B, value-added, transparent". Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will add to our capacity to morph without lessening our power to disintermediate. Without appropriate initiatives, systems are forced to become wireless. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan to become innovative? We constantly evolve value-added interactive, frictionless re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! We pride ourselves not only on our customized, back-end feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration.