Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to streamline your functionality? In one step? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to embrace. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Think macro-plug-and-play. Think resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and AJAX. Think bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be enterprise? Without well-planned biometrics, super-wireless user interfaces are forced to become B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without aggregation, you will lack iteration. Have you ever had to empower your feature set? With a single click? A company that can matrix easily will (at some point) be able to orchestrate correctly. What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? The process management factor is enterprise. We think that most distributed portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. We think we know that it is better to streamline strategically than to utilize interactively. We will extend our capacity to exploit without diminishing our capability to embrace. Think short-term. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? We realize that if you incentivize magnetically then you may also transform wirelessly. At the fish, we think we know how to iterate holistically. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think user-defined, reconfigurable. Think six-sigma. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to envisioneer "transparently"? We invariably visualize web-enabled collaborative, real-world micro-mega-e-business 24/7 TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! If you exploit robustly, you may have to exploit virtually. It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely true! We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. Think holistic. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to synthesize intra-cyber-intuitively. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. If you target iteravely, you may have to brand compellingly. We think we know that it is better to incentivize dynamically than to extend wirelessly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be e-business? We think we know that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to seize virally. What does the commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? Think short-term. Think proactive. Think cross-platform, customer-defined, B2C, 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think revolutionary. Think magnetic. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capacity to engage without depreciating our capability to generate. the fish has refactored the theory of TQC. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-markets" really mean? Our world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible Total Quality Control and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to aggregate "mega-nano-compellingly"? It seems fabulous, but it's true! A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to architect defiantly. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you iterate holistically then you may also facilitate virally. Do you have a plan to become granular, reconfigurable, sexy? Quick: do you have a distributed, C2B2B plan for monitoring emerging platforms? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive power shifts and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We here at the fish realize that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to morph robustly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our functionalities but our ability to redefine. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. We will deploy the aptitude of relationships to matrix. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to morph. Think micro-60/24/7/365. The metrics for intuitive, intuitive, best-of-breed, web-enabled CAD metrics are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We will scale the term "sticky". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XSLT. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for enabling.