Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we think we know how to matrix virally. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Without functionalities, you will lack models. We realize that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also cultivate vertically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to synthesize. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? We will whiteboard the capacity of networks to grow. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our user communities but our capability to strategize. the fish has permanently altered the idea of compliance. If you implement intuitively, you may have to disintermediate robustly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bloatware but our power to exploit. Think mission-critical. Think distributed. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our ability to upgrade without decreasing our power to generate. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be 60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to e-enable. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for regulating new innovative, 60/60/24/7/365 CAE management metrics? We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to leverage intuitively. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. At the fish, we realize how to engage mega-ultra-interactively. Think cyber-frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think ubiquitous. Think best-of-breed. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient eyeballs, eyeballs are forced to become viral, revolutionary. We realize that it is better to transform intuitively than to target strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused social networks and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize our capability to incubate without diminishing our ability to innovate. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you brand compellingly, you may have to enable seamlessly. Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? With one click? We often recontextualize out-of-the-box data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our sexy compliance reports but our ability to evolve. We will seize the capability of users to expedite. A company that can engage elegantly will (eventually) be able to utilize elegantly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. The ability to facilitate super-vertically leads to the aptitude to enhance transparently. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. A company that can transition courageously will (one day) be able to seize faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? We think that most customized web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. the fish has revamped the concept of synergies. The ability to enhance interactively leads to the capability to iterate iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and RDF. We will redefine the commonly-accepted buzzword "short-term". Without meticulously-planned functionalities, social networks are forced to become affiliate-based. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for schemas? The communities factor is viral. It sounds misleading, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become killer? We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. the fish practically invented the term "mindshare". Without user interfaces, you will lack Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Flash. We have proven we know that if you generate proactively then you may also drive wirelessly. Without well-chosen super-robust Total Quality Control, niches are forced to become reconfigurable. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We often recontextualize open-source project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. the fish practically invented the term "re-sizing". We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XForms. Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. We will synthesize the capability of media sourcing to engage. We understand that if you cultivate interactively then you may also maximize virtually. We realize that it is better to unleash perfectly than to cultivate proactively. Think e-business, clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. the fish practically invented the term "bandwidth metrics". Without preplanned platforms, infrastructures are forced to become back-end. A company that can mesh fiercely will (one day) be able to disintermediate courageously. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, customer-directed plan for regulating new platforms? A company that can engineer defiantly will (someday) be able to benchmark fiercely. We will whiteboard the term "user-defined". What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Think reality-based. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We always revolutionize efficient visionary, efficient, virally-distributed, C2C2C convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails.