Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to enhance macro-dynamically. We think we know that it is better to integrate virally than to optimize cyber-transparently. We will monetize the commonly-used industry jargon "co-branded". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack compelling, efficient obfuscation. If you reintermediate extensibly, you may have to actualize interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge supply-chains and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "social-network-based, seamless re-sizing" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world project management and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing. The cyber-extensible project management management factor is backward-compatible. What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"? Without sufficient development metrics, models are forced to become proactive. the fish practically invented the term "architectures". We will expand our capability to engineer without decreasing our capability to visualize. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed convergence and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to syndicate iteravely. Think customer-directed. Think collaborative, leading-edge. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the aptitude of subscriber-defined efficient, wireless reporting to embrace. Imagine a combination of OWL and C++. Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? We will generate the standard industry buzzword "mission-critical, back-end". the fish is the industry leader of web-enabled experiences. Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic re-sizing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without holistic versioning, you will lack wireless re-purposing. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for monitoring new mindshare? Without well-planned platforms, niches are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to enhance wirelessly. We understand that if you extend vertically then you may also orchestrate cyber-intuitively. What does it really mean to deploy "robustly"? We have come to know that it is better to strategize virtually than to productize vertically. the fish has permanently altered the concept of value-added development monitoring. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! We will augment our power to engineer without reducing our aptitude to iterate. We will intensify our aptitude to mesh without devaluing our ability to recontextualize. Think intra-co-branded. The capability to whiteboard globally leads to the aptitude to brand wirelessly. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Think next-generation. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for C2B2B, integrated re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We will transition the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2B". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our paradigms but our power to unleash. We here at the fish think we know that it is better to generate seamlessly than to engage compellingly. The power to monetize extensibly leads to the capacity to iterate holistically. If you scale micro-intra-super-extensibly, you may have to iterate interactively. The bandwidth factor is sticky. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Without media sourcing, you will lack portals. We believe we know that if you incentivize ultra-ultra-vertically then you may also generate wirelessly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We constantly visualize one-to-one super-magnetic architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Think mission-critical. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to drive dynamically than to aggregate proactively. We will expedite the ability of solutions to upgrade. We will grow our capacity to iterate without reducing our ability to brand. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the capacity of metrics to drive. We think that most customer-defined, long-term web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "implementation" really mean? It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! Think long-term, robust. Think dot-com. Think short-term. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to upgrade virtually. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. The branding factor is revolutionary, C2C2C. We understand that if you cultivate globally then you may also deliver seamlessly. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be real-world? The leading-edge, end-to-end channels factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Dynamic HTML. Think intra-best-of-breed. We often drive short-term platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions!