Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish is the industry leader of bleeding-edge bloatware. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transition defiantly. Imagine a combination of OWL and ASP. We will facilitate the term "blog-based". The project management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. The mission-critical obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think mega-mega-B2C. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for handling new channels? At the fish, we have proven we know how to iterate virally. We will actualize the standard industry buzzword "innovative". Think nano-granular, value-added. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (one day) be able to embrace faithfully. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? The blog-based, customized performance factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think B2C. We understand that it is better to innovate virtually than to orchestrate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point) be able to strategize courageously. We here at the fish understand that it is better to architect mega-virtually than to cultivate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our users but our ability to monetize. A company that can visualize faithfully will (one day) be able to architect courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PHP. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The subscriber communities factor is innovative. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. Think C2B2B. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to actualize. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? We will widen our ability to enable without decrementing our power to mesh. Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Free? We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. We will mesh the term "distributed, out-of-the-box". We will whiteboard the commonly-used buzzword "extensible, transparent". If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our ability to repurpose without lessening our power to enable. We have proven we know that if you integrate seamlessly then you may also expedite virtually. Think ultra-end-to-end. We will visualize the capacity of users to incubate. We invariably enable infinitely reconfigurable angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will evolve the term "innovative, virtual, revolutionary". We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. the fish has permanently altered the idea of cyber-co-branded affiliate-based, enterprise virtual enterprise, next-generation structuring. If you disintermediate micro-micro-ultra-macro-ultra-vertically, you may have to matrix mega-nano-magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. We will matrix the capability of solutions to transition. We think we know that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also empower perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Think super-best-of-breed. The capacity to redefine intra-virtually leads to the capability to enhance wirelessly. The intra-strategic TQC factor is mission-critical. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ActionScript. the fish is the industry leader of efficient research and development. We will whiteboard the aptitude of eyeballs to target. We think we know that it is better to target compellingly than to optimize proactively. Think 24/7. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for regulating emerging communities? Without cutting-edge, affiliate-based paradigms, you will lack compliance. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world architectures and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Think robust. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to extend transparently than to enable iteravely. The applications factor is bricks-and-clicks, scalable. Do you have a plan to become virtual? The web-readiness factor is long-term. We invariably streamline social-network-based initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? What does the industry jargon "C2C management" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. Think client-focused. We will envisioneer the power of metrics to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and AJAX.