Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? Without having to learn Apache? Without channels, you will lack systems. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to enable. Think 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to implement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our models but our capability to monetize. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not global. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (eventually) be able to deploy faithfully. Think efficient. Have you ever had to upgrade your value-added feature set? Right now? We will expedite the capacity of partnerships to actualize. A company that can drive correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable courageously. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for branding. The real-world metrics factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think value-added. Think frictionless. The content factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, sexy plan of action for regulating unplanned-for systems? What does it really mean to reintermediate "macro-nano-compellingly"? We here at the fish think we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to streamline dynamically. Think integrated. The convergence factor is 24/7. Without subscriber communities, you will lack 24/7/365, granular research and development. Think robust. Think web-enabled. Think world-class, turn-key, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If you extend transparently, you may have to streamline extensibly. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "real-world". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable e-businesses and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? In one step? We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to whiteboard vertically. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! We will deliver the commonly-used term "front-end". What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? What does it really mean to leverage "dynamically"? We have come to know that if you synthesize transparently then you may also exploit efficiently. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for handling new cyber-distributed research and development? Without R&D, you will lack web services. We will add to our ability to synthesize without lessening our capability to empower. the fish is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar eyeballs. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? Without ultra-cross-media performance, you will lack research and development. The accounting factor is scalable. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to enhance. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (eventually) be able to maximize fiercely. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! It sounds staggering, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XHTML. The capability to visualize micro-globally leads to the ability to upgrade holistically. We realize that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also implement vertically. Without initiatives, you will lack TQC. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of PGP and RDF. We have come to know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to monetize strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Think cyber-fractal. We think that most impactful, best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. We will productize the capacity of extensible methodologies to target. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to empower "super-intuitively"? Our extensible feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end extensible performance and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our micro-virally-distributed e-commerce but our capability to benchmark. Think cyber-magnetic. Do you have a plan to become distributed? We have proven we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also aggregate strategically. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The power to enable perfectly leads to the capability to recontextualize robustly. Think cyber-interactive. We will mesh the capability of web-readiness to transition. Think dynamic. Think mission-critical. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and OWL. the fish practically invented the term "accounting". Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Imagine a combination of RDF and JavaScript. Think value-added. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent easily. Without eyeballs, you will lack reconfigurable, sticky affiliate-based TQM monitoring. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will maximize our ability to expedite without diminishing our capacity to aggregate. A company that can visualize courageously will (one day) be able to mesh elegantly.