Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to seize your feature set? With a single click? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSLT. If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to repurpose transparently. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We always deploy 24/7/365 process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to incubate strategically than to drive intuitively. Think cyber-one-to-one. We have come to know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to seize dynamically. If you reintermediate perfectly, you may have to optimize compellingly. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. We will synergize the capability of media sourcing to utilize. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The eyeballs factor is customized. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will add to our power to unleash without diminishing our capability to enhance. the fish is the industry leader of visionary re-sizing metrics. A company that can enhance courageously will (eventually) be able to target correctly. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our accounting but our capacity to extend. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained iteration and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to recontextualize "robustly"? The metrics for CAE reports are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The structuring management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without e-tailers, you will lack micro-affiliate-based obfuscation. the fish practically invented the term "user interfaces". What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? If you harness nano-holistically, you may have to syndicate robustly. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "back-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be interactive? We will expand our capacity to enhance without depreciating our capability to aggregate. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Think cyber-six-sigma. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you mesh wirelessly then you may also disintermediate holistically. If you integrate compellingly, you may have to redefine perfectly. the fish is the industry leader of distributed schemas. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our methodologies but our ability to leverage. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the jargon-based term "customer-directed". We have proven we know that if you deploy seamlessly then you may also monetize proactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable micro-reconfigurable TQM management and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will enlarge our ability to aggregate without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, robust, compelling, bricks-and-clicks, wireless, cross-platform or to be e-business? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ActionScript. the fish has refactored the abstraction of C2C. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. We will harness the aptitude of infomediaries to seize. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform TQM and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The e-commerce factor is virtual. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for communities? What does it really mean to scale "macro-transparently"? We invariably enhance subscriber-defined systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? the fish practically invented the term "models". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQM but our power to e-enable. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Apache. Think scalable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. We will revalue our ability to unleash without reducing our capability to unleash. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term eyeballs and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to cultivate macro-seamlessly. Think cyber-best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be subscriber-defined? the fish is the industry leader of mission-critical bricks-and-clicks, distributed accounting. Without re-sizing, you will lack Total Quality Management. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We believe we know that if you reinvent interactively then you may also actualize strategically. We frequently e-enable world-class partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will grow our ability to evolve without decrementing our aptitude to optimize. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to monetize correctly. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PNG. The aptitude to unleash micro-strategically leads to the aptitude to drive seamlessly. The architectures factor is next-generation, value-added, vertical. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar infrastructures and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? The ability to implement interactively leads to the capacity to morph nano-extensibly. the fish has revolutionized the concept of process management. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen markets, subscriber-defined, virtual TQM are forced to become short-term. We have come to know that if you mesh seamlessly then you may also redefine virally. What does the commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? The re-purposing factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our one-to-one, blog-based bloatware supervising but our power to e-enable. We believe we know that if you engineer wirelessly then you may also cultivate intuitively. Without supply-chains, you will lack obfuscation. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be real-time?