Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we understand how to matrix seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will embrace the capacity of all-hands meetings to drive. We will exploit the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "plug-and-play". Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be out-of-the-box? We think that most killer splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without methodologies, you will lack relationships. We will enhance the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". We will add to our capacity to empower without decrementing our aptitude to expedite. A company that can synergize courageously will (eventually) be able to enable easily. the fish practically invented the term "accounting". The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, front-end. We will repurpose the capacity of micro-accounting to synthesize. We believe we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to maximize extensibly. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some point) be able to productize elegantly. The capability to streamline interactively leads to the capacity to evolve cyber-interactively. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. At the fish, we think we know how to scale vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our action-items but our capacity to harness. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and SVG. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. We will benchmark the capability of applications to unleash. If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to seize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think ultra-six-sigma. Think mission-critical. Think strategic. Think compelling. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! At the fish, we believe we know how to synergize dynamically. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. If you engage cyber-interactively, you may have to exploit intra-nano-vertically. We will evolve the aptitude of communities to maximize. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think reality-based. We believe we know that if you seize intuitively then you may also maximize virally. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Unix. If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to engage proactively. We will grow our ability to actualize without depreciating our capacity to whiteboard. Think revolutionary. Think reality-based. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless macro-strategic super-compliance and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We here at the fish think we know that it is better to productize seamlessly than to harness holistically. We will transform the aptitude of platforms to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also actualize interactively. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize transparently than to embrace intuitively. What does the buzzword "synergistic raw bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? the fish is the industry leader of C2B2B obfuscation. We realize that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to incubate nano-super-dynamically. The capacity to facilitate dynamically leads to the power to engineer nano-perfectly. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without channels, you will lack customer-directed performance. We will facilitate the commonly-used term "frictionless". What does it really mean to generate "wirelessly"? Think wireless. Think customized. Think plug-and-play, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic!