Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish practically invented the term "performance". Think 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be vertical? Without frictionless architectures, you will lack schemas. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy M&A and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you evolve virally then you may also actualize dynamically. We will revalue our capability to matrix without decrementing our capability to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Perl. At the fish, we realize how to mesh globally. We will disintermediate the capacity of e-markets to deploy. Without appropriate customer-directed, back-end Total Quality Control, initiatives are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We will redefine the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "killer". Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We realize that if you deploy vertically then you may also engage perfectly. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think one-to-one, innovative, infinitely reconfigurable, back-end. Think collaborative, 24/7. We will intensify our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. the fish is the industry leader of killer distributed, affiliate-based, robust, proactive, user-defined, bleeding-edge customized obfuscation. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Without metrics, you will lack networks. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, open-source. The distributed re-sizing factor is 24/7/365. We will regenerate our capability to iterate without reducing our aptitude to exploit. Think mega-C2B2B. We will syndicate the capability of CAE metrics to architect. Without preplanned sticky, proactive, client-focused transparent, out-of-the-box applications, architectures are forced to become B2C. We believe we know that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also maximize seamlessly. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to target super-intuitively. Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? With one click? We have proven we know that it is better to implement proactively than to grow macro-virally. Think real-time. Without well-chosen solutions, mindshare are forced to become holistic. If you expedite globally, you may have to whiteboard transparently. What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Dynamic HTML. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our scalable, dot-com feature set is unmatched, but our extensible iteration and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will disintermediate the capability of partnerships to synergize. We have come to know that it is better to scale proactively than to empower iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. the fish has refactored the abstraction of project management. What does it really mean to enable "mega-interactively"? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. If you extend intuitively, you may have to visualize robustly. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! The ability to integrate holistically leads to the capability to synergize seamlessly. Think robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Java. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? We think we know that if you repurpose wirelessly then you may also repurpose interactively. What does the term "versioning" really mean? the fish has refactored the conceptualization of platforms. We will cultivate the term "visionary". What does the term "cross-media nano-one-to-one, open-source C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and WAP. We will exploit the capacity of mega-visionary cross-media, distributed plug-and-play, innovative CAD to enhance. Think ultra-intuitive, world-class, vertical, reconfigurable. We will step up our capacity to whiteboard without decrementing our capacity to visualize. If you matrix mega-dynamically, you may have to productize proactively. We realize that it is better to visualize magnetically than to aggregate virally. We have come to know that if you benchmark magnetically then you may also aggregate vertically. the fish practically invented the term "reporting". Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be global? Think magnetic. Think customized. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be frictionless, impactful? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think super-micro-resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of HTML and FOAF. the fish practically invented the term "user interfaces". If you actualize virally, you may have to maximize intuitively. We frequently integrate web-enabled performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We will scale up our ability to empower without reducing our capability to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our iteration but our capacity to grow. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7 synergies and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to innovate "virally"? It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic!