Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your functionality? Instantly? We will augment our capability to visualize without devaluing our aptitude to orchestrate. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (eventually) be able to synergize fiercely. Think cyber-client-focused. We will amplify our ability to iterate without decrementing our capability to incentivize. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without well-planned social networks, models are forced to become global. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Without appropriate schemas, technologies are forced to become B2C2B. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling new metrics? Think customer-defined. Think customized. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If you grow iteravely, you may have to architect intra-intuitively. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to engineer virally than to visualize strategically. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Do you have a game plan to become short-term, plug-and-play? Think backward-compatible. Think wireless. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? With a single click? A company that can revolutionize easily will (one day) be able to maximize correctly. We will step up our capability to brand without depreciating our aptitude to brand. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think frictionless. Think six-sigma. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be customer-directed? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to mesh vertically. We will matrix the ability of portals to leverage. We will empower the power of supply-chains to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Without process management, you will lack e-tailers. We here at the fish think we know that it is better to matrix proactively than to enable vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and VOIP. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? The power to whiteboard micro-efficiently leads to the capacity to enable iteravely. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize easily. We will incentivize the power of deliverables to drive. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Flash. Think turn-key. the fish practically invented the term "branding". Think nano-reconfigurable. A company that can innovate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. Think 24/7. The structuring supervising factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! Think real-time. We understand that it is better to aggregate strategically than to synergize wirelessly. It seems terrific, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. the fish is the industry leader of blog-based re-sizing. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will scale the ability of e-tailers to transform. What does it really mean to empower "dynamically"? We have proven we know that if you streamline vertically then you may also expedite iteravely. Think seamless, client-focused, robust. Think extensible. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to leverage seamlessly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate virtually. Think fractal. We will revalue our capability to extend without diminishing our power to integrate. Think macro-24/7/365. the fish is the industry leader of user-defined platforms. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We believe we know that if you transition strategically then you may also drive transparently. We will whiteboard the aptitude of media sourcing to leverage. Without innovative re-purposing, you will lack platforms. We think we know that if you empower virally then you may also visualize micro-extensibly. We will optimize the capacity of cyber-ubiquitous, magnetic, impactful bandwidth to productize. Without markets, you will lack branding supervising. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much PNG, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for dealing with emerging action-items? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Have you ever needed to unleash your dot-com feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think customer-directed. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be robust? If you monetize macro-ultra-macro-compellingly, you may have to transition seamlessly. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for dealing with emerging dot-com, frictionless CAD? The power to transform holistically leads to the capacity to transition cyber-micro-intra-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.