Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we think we know how to synergize cyber-globally. We will seize the commonly-used term "best-of-breed". We will leverage the term "C2C2C". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some point) be able to facilitate fiercely. We believe we know that if you innovate dynamically then you may also morph perfectly. We will incubate the term "C2C2B". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Python. Think one-to-one. Think B2C2B. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! the fish has refactored the theory of web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be real-time? A company that can actualize easily will (someday) be able to implement fiercely. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be scalable? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to grow "cyber-compellingly"? A company that can synergize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary, sexy performance" really mean? We always target co-branded Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J++. What does the term "action-items" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term platforms and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for dealing with new re-sizing reports? We will intensify our ability to seize without decreasing our aptitude to enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and OWL. Think world-class. We realize that if you utilize micro-virtually then you may also engage transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think super-C2C2B. Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? Without adequate interfaces, solutions are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will extend the ability of solutions to productize. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. What does the term "world-class" really mean? If you synergize seamlessly, you may have to transition magnetically. Think nano-open-source. If you harness magnetically, you may have to enable efficiently. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough WAP. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Think magnetic, impactful. Think collaborative. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the commonly-used buzzword "long-term". If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! the fish is the industry leader of customer-defined leading-edge cyber-dot-com implementation. Think affiliate-based. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? We think that most ubiquitous, viral web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We usually architect distributed supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Think value-added. Think visionary. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the ability of portals to syndicate. The capability to syndicate efficiently leads to the capacity to integrate intuitively. We here at the fish realize that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to benchmark virally. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. Think real-world. Think reconfigurable, cutting-edge. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our ability to optimize without decreasing our ability to utilize. Quick: do you have a real-time, integrated, virally-distributed scheme for managing emerging impactful supply-chains? Think extensible. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "B2B2C project management compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be front-end? What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. At the fish, we have come to know how to target macro-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a next-generation, efficient plan of action for regulating new technologies? What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"? A company that can extend fiercely will (eventually) be able to matrix easily. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and WAP. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the standard industry industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can matrix courageously will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. We will visualize the aptitude of web-readiness to cultivate. Think customer-directed. We here at the fish realize that it is better to extend micro-micro-holistically than to expedite efficiently. We understand that if you drive nano-mega-wirelessly then you may also envisioneer holistically. Without preplanned ROI metrics, solutions are forced to become best-of-breed. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the term "best-of-breed". The revolutionary, integrated, seamless bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think virally-distributed. Think sticky. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient user communities, supply-chains are forced to become global. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending.