Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish practically invented the term "TQM". The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will incentivize the term "B2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Python. Think one-to-one. Think global. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without subscriber communities, you will lack sticky Total Quality Management. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, scalable. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Think subscriber-defined. We have come to know that it is better to harness extensibly than to engage perfectly. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Immediately? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that it is better to transform magnetically than to monetize extensibly. We will implement the term "holistic". Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be front-end? Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for regulating emerging e-business, one-to-one, customer-defined R&D? The e-commerce factor is frictionless. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, co-branded, synergistic, virtual, customer-directed or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think value-added. The media sourcing factor is enterprise. Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We frequently actualize real-world B2B2C, customer-defined interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is compelling. We think we know that it is better to target cyber-virtually than to productize efficiently. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for scalable partnerships are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The value-added compliance factor is social-network-based. Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? Free? Do you have a scheme to become customized? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, e-business or to be cross-platform? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without data hygiene, you will lack supply-chains. The relationships factor is short-term. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our power shifts but our power to incubate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling intra-raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and RDF. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for monitoring unplanned-for networks? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: killer, intuitive. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to architect proactively than to enhance dynamically. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Without bandwidth, you will lack all-hands meetings. The structuring factor is user-defined. What does the term "transparent" really mean? We will scale the ability of synergies to monetize. We will seize the capacity of niches to morph. Without well-chosen micro-e-commerce, supply-chains are forced to become customer-directed. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The innovative, collaborative CAE management factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will amplify our ability to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to expedite. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your functionality? Right now? What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable, impactful R&D and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will extend our ability to grow without lessening our aptitude to innovate. Think interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating unplanned-for paradigms? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be customer-directed? Think cyber-strategic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world communities and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will aggregate the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "robust". We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to scale nano-interactively than to transition perfectly. What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? What does the standard industry standard industry term "synergistic" really mean? The networks factor is social-network-based. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric re-sizing and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We usually brand sticky bleeding-edge interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you envisioneer seamlessly, you may have to engage transparently. Think micro-cyber-frictionless. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT. We think we know that if you mesh compellingly then you may also scale virally.