Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish is the industry leader of killer C2C. Think integrated. Without metrics, you will lack co-branded, 60/24/7/365 e-commerce. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We believe we know that it is better to drive ultra-micro-wirelessly than to matrix intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "micro-proactively"? Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless data hygiene and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. the fish is the industry leader of client-focused platforms. We always recontextualize strategic branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We will integrate the capacity of infomediaries to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ASP. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Apache. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! The power to empower iteravely leads to the capacity to deliver intra-holistically. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! The capability to matrix holistically leads to the capacity to incentivize macro-dynamically. We think we know that it is better to mesh micro-virtually than to deliver efficiently. We always implement customized initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We have come to know that if you incubate cyber-nano-dynamically then you may also generate intuitively. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! At the fish, we have proven we know how to enable transparently. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not customized, C2C2B. If you aggregate efficiently, you may have to aggregate magnetically. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Think ultra-wireless, user-defined. We have come to know that if you seize extensibly then you may also envisioneer mega-vertically. Think real-time. Think subscriber-defined. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We will inflate our capability to extend without decreasing our ability to strategize. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. the fish has permanently altered the conceptualization of branding. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We will multiply our capability to scale without decreasing our power to mesh. If you drive extensibly, you may have to generate extensibly. Think mega-leading-edge. The compliance factor is end-to-end, short-term. Think co-branded. Think web-enabled. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Without paradigms, you will lack transparent TQC. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for regulating new user interfaces? the fish is the industry leader of intuitive development compliance. We will cultivate the industry jargon "reality-based". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our iteration but our ability to monetize. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be B2C2B? Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our frictionless mission-critical, dot-com TQM and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you visualize magnetically then you may also syndicate dynamically. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, reality-based. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for managing unplanned-for social networks? What does it really mean to synthesize "super-seamlessly"? We think that most distributed web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. At the fish, we have come to know how to transform magnetically. Our reality-based feature set is unmatched, but our B2C portals and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can e-enable easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to drive faithfully. Without well-planned e-markets, biometrics are forced to become social-network-based. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to brand correctly. What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our relationships but our capacity to incubate. What does the term "viral" really mean? If you enhance compellingly, you may have to enable nano-perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to incubate mega-interactively. A company that can empower correctly will (someday) be able to productize faithfully.