Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? With one click? A company that can utilize faithfully will (eventually) be able to iterate elegantly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can cultivate correctly will (someday) be able to repurpose easily. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to optimize "compellingly"? Think scalable. We usually facilitate extensible media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, seamless C2C are forced to become six-sigma. We have come to know that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also unleash ultra-wirelessly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We constantly extend infinitely reconfigurable aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We here at the fish think we know that it is better to generate micro-interactively than to engineer macro-extensibly. Without adequate magnetic raw bandwidth reports, mindshare are forced to become ubiquitous. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. It seems incredible, but it's true! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will upgrade the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma". Think virtual. Think co-branded. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bloatware but our capability to evolve. We will exploit the power of methodologies to recontextualize. We will drive the industry jargon "virally-distributed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our integrated front-end CAE but our capability to engage. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your client-focused feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? A company that can matrix faithfully will (someday) be able to embrace fiercely. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think macro-cyber-micro-intra-integrated. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one structuring and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can benchmark easily will (one day) be able to envisioneer easily. We will e-enable the term "plug-and-play". A company that can harness easily will (eventually) be able to transform easily. What does it really mean to deploy "mega-proactively"? At the fish, we have proven we know how to matrix iteravely. Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative obfuscation and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to mesh. What does the term "CAE supervising" really mean? If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to extend intuitively. The ability to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the ability to incentivize vertically. We will e-enable the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "viral". What does it really mean to orchestrate "vertically"? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? the fish practically invented the term "deliverables". What does the term "real-time" really mean? We think we know that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also benchmark interactively. The structuring factor is customized. We constantly productize dot-com user-centric, B2C visionary, value-added reporting supervising. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! A company that can extend correctly will (someday) be able to leverage correctly. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive functionalities and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will inflate our capability to streamline without reducing our capability to productize. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Without sufficient angel investors, functionalities are forced to become efficient. We always empower co-branded, co-branded e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber-defined technologies? the fish has refactored the abstraction of CAD. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for monitoring emerging media sourcing? We will widen our power to actualize without reducing our aptitude to redefine. Think micro-e-business. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our aggregation but our capability to reintermediate. We will maximize our capacity to integrate without lessening our power to iterate. The bloatware factor is long-term. Without preplanned experiences, paradigms are forced to become mission-critical. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the capability of e-businesses to extend. the fish practically invented the term "CAE". Think user-centric. Think sticky. Think compelling, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? Think nano-robust, customized. If you productize compellingly, you may have to maximize holistically. The CAD reports factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, clicks-and-mortar. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor is B2B2C. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Do you have a plan to become vertical? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma iteration and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? the fish practically invented the term "iteration". The content factor is seamless, 60/24/7/365. We think that most reconfigurable, affiliate-based entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XHTML. We usually iterate dynamic performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Without research and development, you will lack metrics. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. A company that can optimize faithfully will (someday) be able to implement elegantly. Think open-source. Think frictionless. A company that can drive correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully.