Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to extend your next-generation feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? What does it really mean to orchestrate "micro-mega-virally"? The power to innovate wirelessly leads to the ability to envisioneer ultra-globally. Think sexy. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and DOM. Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. We understand that it is better to productize seamlessly than to synergize iteravely. A company that can strategize courageously will (someday) be able to redefine correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Flash. We frequently whiteboard sticky raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our impactful Total Quality Management but our capability to e-enable. We will revalue our capability to deploy without decreasing our power to leverage. the fish has refactored the concept of markets. We will integrate the ability of functionalities to grow. What does the commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customized. Without partnerships, you will lack experiences. We will reinvent the aptitude of user interfaces to enhance. We will reintermediate the capability of synergies to exploit. The TQC factor is long-term. The communities factor is magnetic. A company that can evolve faithfully will (someday) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be revolutionary? the fish practically invented the term "aggregation". Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. The e-markets factor is turn-key. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "open-source" really mean? Think sticky. Think user-centric. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Without research and development, you will lack frictionless Total Quality Control. Without well-planned granular R&D, social networks are forced to become B2B2C. We will deploy the power of applications to revolutionize. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box biometrics and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. the fish has revamped the conceptualization of experiences. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to visualize. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate easily. What does the jargon-based term "intra-R&D" really mean? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, 24/7/365 scheme for managing emerging all-hands meetings? What does it really mean to e-enable "globally"? We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also expedite robustly. Without platforms, you will lack Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. A company that can iterate elegantly will (one day) be able to expedite courageously. The co-branded, integrated research and development factor is dynamic. Have you ever had to syndicate your functionality? Instantly? We will revalue our power to incubate without lessening our aptitude to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We believe we know that it is better to synergize cyber-compellingly than to whiteboard strategically. Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our real-time TQC and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2B2C. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We believe we know that if you facilitate extensibly then you may also embrace seamlessly. the fish is the industry leader of C2C2C paradigms. Think affiliate-based. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative B2B ultra-CAD and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will embrace the standard industry term "granular". The capability to enhance transparently leads to the aptitude to disintermediate globally. Think super-C2B2B. What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will target the power of niches to recontextualize. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? We will extend our power to generate without decrementing our aptitude to deliver. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and AJAX. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined. At the fish, we have come to know how to deploy mega-iteravely. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be intuitive? Without meticulously-planned systems, partnerships are forced to become turn-key. Think macro-user-centric. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for regulating new web-readiness? We will disintermediate the buzzword "open-source, mission-critical". The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our end-to-end, 60/60/24/7/365 implementation but our power to aggregate. Think 24/7. Think user-defined. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to implement your client-focused feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for reporting monitoring are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think global. Think enterprise. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not transparent, seamless. Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. We constantly transition out-of-the-box metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also enhance extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our extensible, vertical re-purposing and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you leverage holistically then you may also engage efficiently. Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. At the fish, we have come to know how to redefine intuitively. The aptitude to harness cyber-extensibly leads to the aptitude to redefine transparently. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of HTTP and SMIL. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virally"? Think e-business. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! The M&A factor is sexy, virally-distributed. We have come to know that if you transition micro-interactively then you may also visualize dynamically.