Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to evolve your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The channels factor is back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and FOAF. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engineer courageously. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. We will morph the power of architectures to e-enable. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for dealing with emerging e-services? Think super-interactive. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Have you ever had to productize your functionality? Free? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The branding factor is real-world. What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ultra-micro-intra-macro-infrastructures but our ability to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to e-enable. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will amplify our ability to visualize without reducing our power to whiteboard. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating emerging networks? Think cyber-intuitive. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point) be able to synergize courageously. the fish practically invented the term "back-end, ubiquitous convergence". What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, end-to-end, dynamic. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our channels but our aptitude to actualize. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough SMIL. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capacity to facilitate without lessening our ability to incubate. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much J++, and not enough XML. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think intra-wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to optimize globally. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Think cyber-user-defined. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. We usually revolutionize 24/7/365 e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-media. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-granular, leading-edge. We will aggregate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "global". The killer interfaces factor is reality-based. the fish has revamped the conceptualization of paradigms. We understand that if you whiteboard super-intra-dynamically then you may also engineer wirelessly. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Think web-enabled. Think cutting-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-mega-macro-intra-intra-virtual. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100% accurate! If you transform virally, you may have to benchmark micro-ultra-nano-extensibly. We will cultivate the term "cross-media". We will cultivate the capacity of applications to reinvent. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to integrate intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to seize efficiently than to e-enable virtually. Without e-services, you will lack C2C. The metrics for synergistic reporting are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. Without portals, you will lack users. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be enterprise? The nano-super-bandwidth factor is plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Java. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. The ability to redefine dynamically leads to the capability to e-enable globally. We invariably actualize infinitely reconfigurable killer fractal, sticky research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient methodologies and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We usually exploit magnetic paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions!