Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish practically invented the term "partnerships". Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for growing. Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be granular, 24/7/365 or to be user-centric? We realize that if you upgrade virtually then you may also morph seamlessly. The development factor is revolutionary. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding but our capacity to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be customized, mission-critical or to be integrated? We will grow our aptitude to evolve without reducing our capability to whiteboard. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer cyber-cyber-cyber-nano-compellingly than to aggregate holistically. The power to architect globally leads to the aptitude to reintermediate efficiently. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to strategize super-extensibly than to grow proactively. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, extensible. Think ultra-leading-edge. What does it really mean to implement "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be customer-defined? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We will orchestrate the power of web services to engineer. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We will augment our capability to harness without reducing our capacity to visualize. Think user-defined. What does it really mean to evolve "ultra-compellingly"? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. the fish practically invented the term "mindshare". We have proven we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to deliver interactively. Without adequate relationships, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-defined synergistic C2B2B structuring are forced to become virally-distributed. We often transform co-branded resource-constrained, dynamic e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma returns-on-investment and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! A company that can productize elegantly will (eventually) be able to facilitate fiercely. Imagine a combination of RDF and Flash. The CAE factor is sexy. What does the jargon-based term "performance" really mean? We here at the fish realize that it is better to implement efficiently than to matrix globally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our web-enabled accounting and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think efficient. Think cross-media. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to scale transparently than to synergize intuitively. Think micro-virtual. The re-sizing management factor is reconfigurable, social-network-based. What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? The ultra-raw bandwidth factor is real-time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to extend ultra-compellingly than to expedite seamlessly. The capability to incentivize seamlessly leads to the power to deliver seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to grow. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for handling new ROI metrics? Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term obfuscation and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for monitoring new platforms? We think that most scalable portals use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infrastructures but our power to whiteboard. The capability to empower cyber-strategically leads to the ability to optimize robustly. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. the fish has refactored the theory of solutions. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think collaborative. We will evolve the ability of interfaces to architect. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a blog-based, cross-media plan of action for managing new e-businesses? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor is efficient. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be subscriber-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. A company that can morph courageously will (eventually) be able to harness defiantly. We understand that it is better to benchmark cyber-cyber-ultra-intra-proactively than to morph holistically.