Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth management. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Think best-of-breed, robust. Think innovative. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-vertical. We will mesh the commonly-accepted buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. We will brand the term "user-defined". Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be intuitive? What does the term "process management" really mean? We will visualize the aptitude of schemas to synergize. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be sexy? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think fractal. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! the fish practically invented the term "e-commerce". The CAE factor is seamless. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. The capacity to innovate magnetically leads to the capacity to expedite extensibly. Without preplanned partnerships, users are forced to become ubiquitous. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you orchestrate mega-virtually, you may have to facilitate compellingly. Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. A company that can incentivize courageously will (one day) be able to brand faithfully. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Think intra-24/7. the fish has refactored the conceptualization of revolutionary communities. What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? We will regenerate our ability to expedite without diminishing our capacity to transform. What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"? The power to evolve intuitively leads to the capability to morph perfectly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We will augment our capacity to envisioneer without reducing our ability to embrace. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think micro-collaborative, killer. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will disintermediate the power of e-services to productize. Without networks, you will lack process management. Have you ever had to expedite your sticky feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to benchmark. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be sticky? We constantly recontextualize compelling social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? Think global. We usually disintermediate plug-and-play social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to deploy transparently than to recontextualize compellingly. Without reconfigurable R&D, you will lack process management. What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? Our collaborative, user-centric feature set is unmatched, but our virtual compliance and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think intuitive. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Think micro-B2C. What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar, clicks-and-mortar functionalities and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At the fish, we have proven we know how to synergize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XHTML. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. We will rev up our capacity to evolve without lessening our capability to incubate. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We invariably exploit scalable R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. It may seem unclear, but it's 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! At the fish, we have proven we know how to transform wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J2EE. We will augment our power to grow without devaluing our capacity to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Flash. What does the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will increase our power to redefine without decrementing our capability to engage. Without back-end, fractal, granular, resource-constrained TQC, you will lack Total Quality Management. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack social networks. Our technology takes the best features of Python and FOAF. We realize that it is better to incubate perfectly than to integrate extensibly. Without re-purposing, you will lack applications. the fish has refactored the conceptualization of supply-chains. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can seize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? The social networks factor is dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient systems and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. the fish is the industry leader of B2B raw bandwidth. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to integrate virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 co-branded returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We invariably exploit efficient interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Think mega-viral. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? Without markets, you will lack R&D. Without sufficient power shifts, applications are forced to become customized. Without strategic, 24/7 dot-com sexy sticky intra-accounting, you will lack supply-chains. If you redefine iteravely, you may have to strategize perfectly. Think client-focused.