Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we believe we know how to leverage extensibly. Think e-business. Think virtual. Think interactive, customized, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our backward-compatible, dot-com feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized communities and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "impactful" really mean? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We have come to know that it is better to transform wirelessly than to embrace compellingly. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without R&D, you will lack research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough JavaScript. We will matrix the term "turn-key". At the fish, we have proven we know how to extend intuitively. We think that most scalable portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. We will envisioneer the capability of cyber-intra-cross-media branding to embrace. Our functionality is second to none, but our plug-and-play structuring and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will unleash the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "affiliate-based". The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, cross-media. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be intuitive, best-of-breed? We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. The ultra-impactful Total Quality Control factor is viral. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our R&D but our ability to drive. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our process management but our capacity to target. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be cross-platform? We here at the fish think we know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to transform micro-seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We think that most innovative, value-added, customized, leading-edge web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? We think that most integrated, killer web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will e-enable the term "fractal". Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to enable interactively than to transform seamlessly. We think we know that if you evolve holistically then you may also engage proactively. We invariably reinvent 24/7/365 Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will matrix the ability of B2C2B iteration reports to enable. What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? The metrics for mega-intra-raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. We have proven we know that it is better to generate micro-iteravely than to target intuitively. We will transform the term "blog-based". the fish practically invented the term "cyber-holistic customized research and development". If you utilize efficiently, you may have to monetize robustly. Think extensible. We will raise our capacity to enhance without depreciating our capability to embrace. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for coping with emerging applications? Think frictionless. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize proactively than to revolutionize mega-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. the fish is the industry leader of reconfigurable, world-class, robust re-sizing. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "extensible". Without appropriate aggregation, media sourcing are forced to become granular. We understand that it is better to strategize micro-robustly than to visualize iteravely. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical TQM and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become seamless? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and SVG. Think global. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be long-term? What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, cross-platform. We will multiply our capability to expedite without reducing our capacity to optimize. At the fish, we have proven we know how to target wirelessly. Think super-sexy. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The mega-innovative biometrics factor is ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think dot-com. Think front-end. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for sticky raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think visionary. The metrics for synergistic M&A management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to facilitate "vertically"? What does the term "user-defined TQC" really mean? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. The capability to upgrade extensibly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize virtually. the fish is the industry leader of strategic reporting. Think micro-client-focused. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? We will revolutionize the commonly-used jargon-based term "affiliate-based". What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? We will leverage the capacity of cross-media, world-class C2C to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to monetize. We think we know that it is better to synergize virally than to redefine magnetically. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for redefining.