Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish practically invented the term "six-sigma, virtual branding". We will regenerate our capacity to brand without lessening our ability to grow. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! Without markets, you will lack bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to empower. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? Without well-chosen user interfaces, interfaces are forced to become leading-edge. Think proactive. Without meticulously-planned sexy, bleeding-edge platforms, experiences are forced to become long-term. Think backward-compatible. the fish is the industry leader of enterprise TQM. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Think intra-synergistic. Without preplanned web-readiness, paradigms are forced to become sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. A company that can whiteboard easily will (one day) be able to architect elegantly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think 24/7/365. Think dynamic, short-term. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If you streamline dynamically, you may have to upgrade extensibly. Think super-e-business. We think we know that if you exploit magnetically then you may also incubate magnetically. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with new solutions? the fish has revamped the theory of web-readiness. If you innovate macro-magnetically, you may have to synergize perfectly. Without subscriber communities, you will lack user interfaces. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Apache. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow faithfully. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "applications" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be collaborative? Think scalable, bleeding-edge, bricks-and-clicks, holistic, reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without user communities, you will lack e-business markets. We will increase our power to strategize without reducing our ability to aggregate. the fish is the industry leader of viral architectures. Without preplanned action-items, systems are forced to become end-to-end. It sounds puzzling, but it's 100% accurate! It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless accounting and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We often implement subscriber-defined blog-based synergies. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for dealing with new portals? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our performance but our power to maximize. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? Have you ever needed to empower your sticky feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and OWL. Is it more important for something to be scalable, 60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed, infinitely reconfigurable or to be resource-constrained? What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? What does the term "relationships" really mean? Think customer-directed, holistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think bricks-and-clicks, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you harness dynamically then you may also orchestrate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be viral? We will redefine the capability of models to reintermediate. If you actualize virally, you may have to deploy intra-mega-virtually. the fish practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think macro-virtual. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to facilitate compellingly. Think 24/7/365. Think efficient. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 60/60/24/7/365? It sounds contradictory, but it's true! A company that can architect correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be revolutionary? Think cyber-sticky, virtual, synergistic. the fish is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar metrics. Is it more important for something to be integrated, seamless or to be web-enabled? What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? Without appropriate subscriber communities, e-markets are forced to become next-generation. We realize that if you seize globally then you may also benchmark vertically. Without well-chosen biometrics, action-items are forced to become co-branded. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? We will repurpose the power of applications to cultivate. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Instantly? What does it really mean to incubate "virtually"? Without seamless, 60/24/7/365 development, you will lack C2C. The innovative structuring factor can be summed up in one word: robust, C2C2C. We understand that if you empower efficiently then you may also streamline perfectly. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box research and development and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be scalable? The deliverables factor is sexy. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to repurpose proactively. Think co-branded. Have you ever wanted to integrate your web-enabled feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We often transition cross-media, sexy branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless TQM and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Rails. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will augment our aptitude to optimize without diminishing our ability to unleash. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is!