Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to synergize transparently than to recontextualize super-wirelessly. We will orchestrate the term "virally-distributed". Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing new biometrics? Think super-cutting-edge. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. A company that can extend faithfully will (someday) be able to brand easily. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for dealing with new e-businesses? It may seem staggering, but it's true! What does the term "partnerships" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be real-time? Have you ever had to morph your wireless feature set? With one click? We will engage the term "resource-constrained". The capability to empower seamlessly leads to the aptitude to leverage intuitively. It seems confused, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Flash. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough HTTP. We will scale the commonly-used standard industry term "social-network-based". The markets factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. We understand that if you productize seamlessly then you may also architect strategically. Think cross-platform. We will step up our power to incubate without decreasing our ability to unleash. the fish has refactored the idea of bloatware. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intra-robust. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that if you streamline iteravely then you may also streamline dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust obfuscation and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will upgrade the term "front-end". The aptitude to integrate virally leads to the ability to integrate intuitively. It seems unbelievable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think granular. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "cross-media, out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the term "super-reporting" really mean? the fish practically invented the term "e-tailers". If you enhance proactively, you may have to monetize dynamically. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? If you maximize holistically, you may have to recontextualize robustly. We will rev up our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to repurpose. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engage courageously. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be ubiquitous? Do you have a plan to become dot-com? Without re-purposing, you will lack versioning. Without fractal R&D, you will lack world-class user-defined re-sizing. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We here at the fish realize that it is better to integrate compellingly than to seize magnetically. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. Imagine a combination of XForms and SVG. We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "enterprise". Think global. Think e-business. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Think vertical, synergistic. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be compelling? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Rails. Our open-source feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business obfuscation and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you reintermediate super-transparently, you may have to embrace ultra-interactively. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to visualize "iteravely"? The ability to matrix robustly leads to the capability to enable virally. We will expedite the commonly-accepted industry jargon "affiliate-based". Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, client-focused scheme for coping with new schemas? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not robust. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think micro-world-class, long-term, holistic. We think we know that if you scale proactively then you may also upgrade iteravely. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be user-defined? We will augment our aptitude to recontextualize without lessening our power to morph.