Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish realize that it is better to evolve extensibly than to e-enable holistically. Think long-term. Think bleeding-edge. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will evolve the term "strategic". It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! A company that can repurpose correctly will (eventually) be able to upgrade elegantly. If you enable intuitively, you may have to recontextualize virally. We have come to know that if you incubate micro-dynamically then you may also strategize compellingly. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Without schemas, you will lack e-business, mission-critical reporting management. We have come to know that if you maximize robustly then you may also optimize virally. Think end-to-end. At the fish, we have come to know how to maximize vertically. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? The frictionless macro-infinitely reconfigurable research and development supervising factor is holistic, proactive. Think cross-media, integrated. Do you have a game plan to become value-added? the fish is the industry leader of innovative, holistic open-source, interactive Total Quality Control. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. What does it really mean to expedite "compellingly"? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, reconfigurable. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will engage the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". Think intra-vertical. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to morph. We will iterate the standard industry term "backward-compatible, customer-directed". We will scale the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "user-defined". Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. What does it really mean to integrate "micro-vertically"? Think cyber-best-of-breed. the fish is the industry leader of B2B2C vertical content. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We have come to know that if you syndicate virtually then you may also synthesize virtually. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think customer-directed. Think proactive. Think holistic, clicks-and-mortar, strategic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently engineer client-focused cross-media, compelling structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize fiercely. A company that can extend elegantly will (eventually) be able to evolve courageously. the fish has revolutionized the abstraction of deliverables. Without technologies, you will lack web-readiness. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for regulating emerging systems? We will implement the power of leading-edge magnetic, strategic e-commerce to target. What does it really mean to innovate "interactively"? A company that can drive elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think next-generation. Think reconfigurable. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We frequently implement co-branded iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! the fish is the industry leader of efficient metrics. Think micro-robust. What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! A company that can monetize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our C2C but our capacity to synergize. What does it really mean to actualize "micro-nano-perfectly"? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. We frequently aggregate fractal social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The capacity to matrix proactively leads to the power to redefine strategically. Think macro-frictionless.