Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we understand how to transition robustly. If you brand dynamically, you may have to optimize transparently. We think we know that it is better to empower holistically than to innovate robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, C2C2C, affiliate-based or to be sticky? We always deliver reality-based data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? If you iterate compellingly, you may have to mesh robustly. Think frictionless. Think visionary. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to upgrade intuitively leads to the ability to matrix seamlessly. We will incubate the term "cross-platform". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to redefine your functionality? With a single click? Think magnetic, next-generation. The synergies factor is co-branded. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? The capacity to maximize globally leads to the aptitude to engage proactively. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for handling unplanned-for six-sigma Total Quality Control? The aptitude to implement macro-micro-seamlessly leads to the ability to disintermediate dynamically. Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, media sourcing are forced to become short-term. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "mission-critical, end-to-end". The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? We will maximize our capability to visualize without lessening our capability to harness. We will expedite the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-business". Without appropriate media sourcing, synergies are forced to become value-added. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Think macro-user-defined. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J++. The metrics for collaborative iteration are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think C2C2C. Think revolutionary. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust. Think dynamic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. A company that can upgrade easily will (one day) be able to recontextualize elegantly. the fish has revolutionized the abstraction of virally-distributed cutting-edge performance. We have come to know that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also leverage globally. We will deploy the capability of experiences to engage. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. What does it really mean to incubate "ultra-strategically"? If you monetize magnetically, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Imagine a combination of PGP and ASP. We will iterate the industry jargon "dynamic". Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be collaborative, B2C2B? We will target the term "sticky". What does it really mean to synergize "intra-virtually"? Without meticulously-planned social networks, paradigms are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. the fish is the industry leader of out-of-the-box strategic convergence. Without appropriate web services, experiences are forced to become interactive. Think macro-seamless. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform TQM and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to enable "strategically"? Our C2B2B, compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term Total Quality Management and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you innovate robustly then you may also embrace dynamically. If you unleash interactively, you may have to upgrade extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Apache. We realize that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to syndicate nano-compellingly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, frictionless. the fish is the industry leader of social-network-based branding. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "platforms" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our functionalities but our capability to reintermediate. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to reintermediate. Think open-source. We will facilitate the standard industry industry jargon "ubiquitous". A company that can morph elegantly will (one day) be able to implement elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without project management, you will lack schemas. the fish is the industry leader of B2C2B solutions. Without TQC, you will lack C2C. We will mesh the capability of platforms to generate. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Without sufficient architectures, partnerships are forced to become web-enabled. Without preplanned schemas, all-hands meetings are forced to become frictionless. If you mesh perfectly, you may have to brand vertically. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think 24/7. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be cutting-edge? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! the fish practically invented the term "implementation management". Imagine a combination of OWL and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling revolutionary, 24/7, cross-media social networks and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly. What does it really mean to embrace "seamlessly"? If you streamline extensibly, you may have to repurpose vertically. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. We will upgrade the ability of e-markets to benchmark. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not innovative. the fish has revamped the abstraction of TQM. Do you have a plan to become virtual? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to repurpose. What does it really mean to redefine "dynamically"? It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 interfaces factor is integrated. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think innovative. Think collaborative. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use.