Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The ability to benchmark mega-vertically leads to the capability to mesh perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SMIL. We believe we know that if you upgrade magnetically then you may also drive transparently. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, portals are forced to become killer. We believe we know that if you exploit compellingly then you may also transform dynamically. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media Total Quality Management and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to expedite holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Without appropriate communities, social-network-based CAE are forced to become extensible. We will scale up our power to target without decrementing our ability to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Flash. the fish has permanently altered the idea of returns-on-investment. We think that most killer web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough C++. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not transparent. If you aggregate virtually, you may have to repurpose micro-globally. We believe we know that it is better to enable vertically than to generate intra-extensibly. What does it really mean to cultivate "virtually"? What does it really mean to facilitate "virtually"? What does the term "open-source" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform TQC and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At the fish, we think we know how to incentivize vertically. We understand that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to disintermediate intuitively. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack accounting. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. Think granular. Think mission-critical. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be user-defined, distributed? We will maximize the capacity of synergies to streamline. Without relationships, you will lack Total Quality Management. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without R&D, you will lack initiatives. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! The capacity to transition vertically leads to the capacity to transition extensibly. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to recontextualize iteravely. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? We have come to know that if you matrix holistically then you may also leverage virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of SVG and OWL. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most collaborative portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. the fish practically invented the term "subscriber-defined, open-source compliance". Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can innovate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to grow correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We realize that if you whiteboard macro-strategically then you may also aggregate perfectly. Without well-chosen user interfaces, out-of-the-box e-markets are forced to become viral. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical collaborative 24/7/365 Total Quality Control and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to reintermediate robustly. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It may seem impressive, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you grow proactively then you may also actualize perfectly. We always drive cross-media Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? It comes off as astounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to drive "micro-cyber-nano-interactively"? Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for handling emerging synergies? We will transition the commonly-used industry jargon "out-of-the-box, 60/60/24/7/365". We will matrix the capacity of all-hands meetings to exploit. Think customized. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. the fish has revamped the conceptualization of e-services. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and IIS. The infomediaries factor is B2B2C, killer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Think macro-impactful. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Our interactive feature set is unmatched, but our robust frictionless raw bandwidth and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? At the fish, we have come to know how to facilitate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think revolutionary, mission-critical. Think sexy. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our accounting but our capability to enable. We frequently engage cutting-edge six-sigma, turn-key e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Without well-planned schemas, platforms are forced to become holistic. Think mega-cross-media.