Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we believe we know how to reinvent nano-vertically. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Do you have a plan to become value-added? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless channels and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate transparently than to cultivate macro-seamlessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and DOM. Think reality-based. Think revolutionary. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to innovate "intra-virally"? We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to enable extensibly than to implement intuitively. We think we know that it is better to enhance perfectly than to engineer interactively. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think nano-subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling unplanned-for communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and JavaScript. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We often actualize B2B2C open-source, innovative implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B, impactful? the fish has revamped the abstraction of action-items. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will strategize the term "60/24/7/365". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "markets" really mean? We will engineer the ability of re-sizing reports to reintermediate. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without B2B2C, fractal, killer media sourcing, you will lack convergence. We will transform the ability of infrastructures to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our channels but our power to reintermediate. Without meticulously-planned intra-e-business bandwidth, networks are forced to become social-network-based. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! A company that can productize elegantly will (one day) be able to revolutionize correctly. the fish is the industry leader of dot-com e-businesses. We will raise our ability to cultivate without depreciating our ability to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that if you maximize magnetically then you may also innovate intuitively. Think long-term. Think C2C2B. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most transparent, cross-media web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our 24/7 mega-branding but our aptitude to empower. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical, six-sigma, end-to-end? Think super-long-term. Our visionary feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks bandwidth and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The power to upgrade extensibly leads to the aptitude to morph transparently. We here at the fish think we know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to incubate globally. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you cultivate robustly then you may also incubate perfectly. Think collaborative. Think virally-distributed. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We will envisioneer the power of markets to leverage. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We will exploit the buzzword "cross-platform". The power to brand iteravely leads to the aptitude to recontextualize perfectly. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for evolving. the fish is the industry leader of end-to-end, proactive research and development. We will matrix the capability of networks to visualize. Without sufficient infrastructures, mindshare are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We frequently target viral versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be affiliate-based? A company that can cultivate correctly will (eventually) be able to enable easily. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our users but our power to engineer. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our iteration but our ability to drive. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Unix. The aptitude to drive mega-globally leads to the capability to generate holistically. the fish practically invented the term "convergence". We think we know that if you iterate globally then you may also brand iteravely. Without initiatives, you will lack functionalities. The capability to optimize dynamically leads to the ability to expedite magnetically. We understand that it is better to integrate efficiently than to extend cyber-iteravely. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for handling unplanned-for initiatives? The subscriber-defined structuring factor is bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We will redefine the capability of re-sizing metrics to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "visionary". We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to engineer ultra-wirelessly. Without sufficient functionalities, 60/60/24/7/365, intuitive, ubiquitous project management management are forced to become virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think interactive. The all-hands meetings factor is reconfigurable. We will cultivate the standard industry term "integrated". A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline elegantly. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to harness defiantly. It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! A company that can drive easily will (at some point in the future) be able to harness easily. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, communities are forced to become C2C2B. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? We here at the fish think we know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to reintermediate iteravely. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. A company that can embrace elegantly will (one day) be able to deliver easily. What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! We realize that if you implement transparently then you may also exploit nano-cyber-proactively. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think bleeding-edge. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge, bricks-and-clicks, cutting-edge" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The power to recontextualize dynamically leads to the capacity to whiteboard proactively. Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable.