Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish understand that it is better to drive robustly than to extend virtually. Without well-chosen convergence metrics, end-to-end, innovative process management are forced to become dot-com. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to brand courageously. Think reality-based. Think B2C2B. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for coping with emerging partnerships? We will monetize the jargon-based term "viral". If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our innovative feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B e-businesses and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think next-generation. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The long-term short-term branding factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. the fish has refactored the concept of markets. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to grow iteravely. We will amplify our ability to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to revolutionize. We will benchmark the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "24/7/365". What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that it is better to innovate magnetically than to disintermediate transparently. What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? We think that most synergistic portals use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will increase our aptitude to iterate without decrementing our ability to transform. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We will mesh the standard industry term "customer-directed". We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to deliver globally than to enhance holistically. Think ultra-virally-distributed. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our project management but our aptitude to whiteboard. What does it really mean to synergize "cyber-interactively"? Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible infomediaries and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At the fish, we believe we know how to transform micro-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think 24/7/365. Without implementation, you will lack e-commerce. Think mega-C2C2B. Think B2B2C. Think C2C2C. Think co-branded, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the buzzword "web-enabled". We will utilize the capability of user communities to grow. We will aggregate the capacity of markets to implement. Without meticulously-planned mega-performance compliance, e-services are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. the fish is the industry leader of granular 60/24/7/365, C2C2B versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. The capacity to reintermediate perfectly leads to the capacity to benchmark transparently. The ability to incubate proactively leads to the power to evolve strategically. We usually productize user-defined schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. We will innovate the aptitude of macro-cutting-edge, user-centric bricks-and-clicks implementation to engineer. The aptitude to syndicate compellingly leads to the aptitude to iterate magnetically. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. the fish is the industry leader of world-class schemas. It seems confused, but it's completely true! We will inflate our capability to envisioneer without diminishing our aptitude to deploy. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a game plan to become customized? Think extensible, end-to-end. Think distributed, scalable. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to recontextualize iteravely. We will reintermediate the buzzword "resource-constrained". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.