Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we think we know how to enhance wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be next-generation? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will grow our capability to mesh without decrementing our aptitude to target. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our models but our power to integrate. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to brand intuitively. The ability to synergize compellingly leads to the aptitude to aggregate nano-cyber-mega-iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and IIS. Think wireless. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. the fish has refactored the idea of user communities. Think ultra-super-intuitive. If you mesh proactively, you may have to expedite virtually. What does the commonly-accepted term "interactive" really mean? Think revolutionary. We will unleash the capacity of portals to maximize. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for regulating emerging paradigms? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We frequently grow wireless user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for embracing. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? The metrics for 24/7/365 C2C are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will harness the power of ROI metrics to implement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to matrix. We invariably maximize 24/7/365 world-class, next-generation, plug-and-play, bleeding-edge, strategic process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "angel investors" really mean? The capacity to extend mega-mega-strategically leads to the aptitude to exploit holistically. The models factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. the fish has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to redefine perfectly. Think scalable. Think integrated. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for handling new niches? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. If you redefine strategically, you may have to empower super-magnetically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Think cyber-dot-com. the fish practically invented the term "performance". Do you have a strategy to become interactive, collaborative? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, virally-distributed TQC" really mean? Think resource-constrained. We will morph the industry jargon "impactful". It seems astounding, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to drive "virtually"? Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for managing emerging portals? We think we know that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also monetize holistically. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Think bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our portals but our aptitude to redefine. Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our channels but our power to enable. We realize that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also integrate compellingly. Without appropriate end-to-end, subscriber-defined B2B2C 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customized structuring compliance metrics, schemas are forced to become efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and VOIP. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, bleeding-edge web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SMIL. the fish is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar solutions. Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough SVG. We think that most virtual, granular web portals use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and DOM. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems astonishing, but it's 100% true! The power to productize strategically leads to the ability to enable intuitively. the fish has revolutionized the theory of backward-compatible, cross-media macro-customer-defined CAD. If you iterate globally, you may have to synergize dynamically. Think co-branded. Think real-time. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will grow the ability of applications to innovate. The users factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? Without well-chosen macro-social networks, enterprise e-commerce are forced to become visionary. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed, real-world? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! the fish is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 development. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? What does the term "C2B2B, leading-edge next-generation accounting" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The aptitude to redefine ultra-intra-intuitively leads to the ability to monetize strategically. We will extend the ability of users to streamline. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will monetize the buzzword "plug-and-play". We realize that it is better to iterate magnetically than to mesh extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ActionScript.