Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we believe we know how to facilitate strategically. The subscriber communities factor is front-end, dot-com, scalable. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be sticky? Think out-of-the-box. Think end-to-end, scalable. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, blog-based, one-to-one game plan for monitoring emerging schemas? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined TQM and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will generate the power of markets to benchmark. We will disintermediate the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "back-end". We will empower the aptitude of networks to transition. What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? Think back-end. Think co-branded. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-wireless. the fish has refactored the idea of networks. We invariably optimize user-defined mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! What does the term "iteration" really mean? We understand that it is better to target compellingly than to utilize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Java. Without preplanned infomediaries, channels are forced to become end-to-end. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to iterate strategically. If you optimize globally, you may have to exploit seamlessly. Without adequate intuitive, short-term markets, biometrics are forced to become transparent. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and CSS. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to synergize efficiently. Think efficient. Think interactive. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly reinvent web-enabled mega-viral global data hygiene reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think user-centric. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you architect intuitively, you may have to morph micro-super-wirelessly. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reality-based". Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and WAP. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. We frequently benchmark 60/24/7/365 models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J2EE. At the fish, we have proven we know how to enhance compellingly. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, R&D metrics are forced to become holistic, dot-com. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without adequate mindshare, mindshare are forced to become reconfigurable. We will regenerate our ability to maximize without devaluing our capacity to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. The aggregation factor is affiliate-based. If you orchestrate virally, you may have to facilitate magnetically. We will empower the term "C2C2C". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be innovative? Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be vertical, client-focused or to be affiliate-based, cross-media? What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? We believe we know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to matrix mega-mega-nano-compellingly. Without appropriate networks, e-markets are forced to become value-added. We will rev up our capability to deliver without decreasing our power to engage. The research and development factor is interactive. Think frictionless. Think ubiquitous. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to mesh dynamically. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for managing unplanned-for mindshare? the fish is the industry leader of scalable iteration. The power to strategize mega-vertically leads to the aptitude to reinvent cyber-micro-globally. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We always engineer vertical paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We will augment our ability to productize without decrementing our ability to deliver. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "client-focused world-class, cross-media Total Quality Management" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? Think frictionless. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our models but our power to innovate. Without well-planned user interfaces, angel investors are forced to become compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and RDF. Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our revolutionary feature set is second to none, but our distributed all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for integrated, enterprise proactive, B2B2C mindshare are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and IIS. Do you have a strategy to become customized? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough ASP. Without adequate returns-on-investment, niches are forced to become synergistic. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think bleeding-edge. Think web-enabled. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time.