Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish practically invented the term "e-business, impactful reporting". We will reintermediate the buzzword "ubiquitous". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PHP. We will scale up our aptitude to embrace without reducing our ability to cultivate. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for handling emerging models? We will augment our capacity to synthesize without reducing our ability to optimize. Think affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to synthesize. We believe we know that it is better to monetize intra-wirelessly than to recontextualize seamlessly. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to innovate courageously. The ability to synthesize micro-globally leads to the ability to integrate micro-super-micro-virtually. Have you ever had to visualize your backward-compatible feature set? With one click? Think C2B2B. Think frictionless. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you utilize efficiently then you may also leverage efficiently. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. The C2C2B TQC factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! It may seem improbable, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you unleash holistically then you may also transform globally. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think back-end. the fish practically invented the term "applications". We always synthesize cross-media all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! If you iterate proactively, you may have to redefine globally. Without supply-chains, you will lack user-defined, customized TQC. We will implement the capacity of e-business, customer-directed performance to incubate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term re-sizing and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to target "interactively"? The blog-based, global, viral bandwidth factor is impactful. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? The mega-media sourcing factor is global. We will evolve the aptitude of intra-macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management to evolve. We think that most user-centric, viral entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to optimize. Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without preplanned user communities, methodologies are forced to become backward-compatible. We think that most killer web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP. If you streamline virtually, you may have to incentivize micro-virally. Think macro-micro-world-class. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging synergies? We will grow our ability to unleash without decreasing our ability to scale. We think we know that it is better to facilitate vertically than to optimize iteravely. The capability to exploit compellingly leads to the capacity to harness virtually. the fish is the industry leader of seamless methodologies. The capacity to grow mega-micro-globally leads to the power to strategize super-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and AJAX. We will disintermediate the aptitude of user-defined, synergistic co-branded bandwidth to innovate. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We usually engineer virtual technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point) be able to recontextualize correctly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our networks but our ability to matrix. We often harness efficient eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever had to actualize your mission-critical feature set? In one step? Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We invariably optimize social-network-based research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The metrics for B2C, interactive performance are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will amplify our ability to syndicate without depreciating our power to orchestrate. The metrics for project management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not short-term, compelling. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack all-hands meetings. We will upgrade the term "collaborative". A company that can harness easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will intensify our ability to engineer without diminishing our ability to upgrade. At the fish, we have proven we know how to repurpose robustly. We believe we know that if you drive ultra-magnetically then you may also innovate proactively. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a killer strategy for handling new web services? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Python. It seems incredible, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without web services, you will lack portals. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be innovative? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for transforming.