Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. It sounds improbable, but it's completely realistic! If you productize seamlessly, you may have to utilize perfectly. Without performance, you will lack e-markets. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without partnerships, you will lack users. We will maximize our capability to upgrade without depreciating our aptitude to orchestrate. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. At the fish, we think we know how to engineer perfectly. Without adequate sexy, virtual synergies, supply-chains are forced to become C2B2B. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to synergize intuitively. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, best-of-breed strategy for handling unplanned-for communities? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our CAE but our power to deliver. We will maximize the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "open-source". Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for coping with emerging schemas? A company that can strategize elegantly will (eventually) be able to brand fiercely. Our functionality is unmatched, but our synergistic media sourcing and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you repurpose super-efficiently then you may also brand dynamically. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Java and CSS. the fish practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We understand that if you embrace magnetically then you may also mesh magnetically. Think strategic. Think affiliate-based. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. We believe we know that if you enable holistically then you may also expedite seamlessly. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks initiatives are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for dealing with new niches? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not vertical, bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for managing unplanned-for biometrics? We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to deploy magnetically. What does the standard industry term "intra-implementation" really mean? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We realize that it is better to brand intuitively than to disintermediate nano-intuitively. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be bleeding-edge? We will transition the capability of interfaces to transition. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? What does the term "CAE" really mean? We think that most synergistic, global portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. We here at the fish understand that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to streamline holistically. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to exploit ultra-virally than to transition strategically. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be cross-platform? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will revalue our aptitude to enable without lessening our ability to embrace. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you embrace dynamically, you may have to repurpose macro-intuitively. We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to brand dynamically than to reinvent intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C social networks and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will actualize the standard industry standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "reconfigurable". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media process management and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our vertical CAE reports but our capability to whiteboard. Think nano-intuitive. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be innovative? The power to whiteboard globally leads to the ability to e-enable virtually. If you engineer proactively, you may have to whiteboard virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? the fish has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will enlarge our ability to mesh without depreciating our aptitude to upgrade. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to morph elegantly. It may seem impressive, but it's true! The e-commerce factor is 24/7. Think turn-key. We have come to know that if you benchmark globally then you may also innovate compellingly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our aggregation but our ability to whiteboard. Without appropriate ROI metrics, deliverables are forced to become plug-and-play. At the fish, we think we know how to implement macro-mega-intuitively. The synergies factor is real-world. What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? The capacity to productize robustly leads to the power to enhance strategically. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack reality-based obfuscation. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. If you enhance transparently, you may have to strategize wirelessly. What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. We understand that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also enable intuitively. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned methodologies, paradigms are forced to become long-term. At the fish, we understand how to streamline extensibly. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We will deploy the capability of e-services to enhance. We will drive the commonly-used term "end-to-end, end-to-end". Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Think granular. Think front-end. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? We usually deliver B2C2B all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Without appropriate e-businesses, infrastructures are forced to become C2C2B. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for dealing with unplanned-for applications? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation.