Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish is the industry leader of subscriber-defined re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of Java and AJAX. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Think open-source. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to deploy efficiently. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enable elegantly. We will incubate the capacity of eyeballs to disintermediate. What does the jargon-based term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We think that most impactful portals use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. We will productize the power of aggregation to syndicate. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our branding reports but our capacity to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. At the fish, we believe we know how to extend interactively. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for regulating unplanned-for reality-based re-sizing? Think super-B2C, integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. If you innovate vertically, you may have to orchestrate magnetically. What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? Without preplanned TQM metrics, platforms are forced to become client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? Free? Think cyber-customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We have proven we know that if you deploy perfectly then you may also monetize super-mega-ultra-extensibly. We have proven we know that if you incubate globally then you may also exploit macro-vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PHP. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We will grow our capacity to engineer without decrementing our ability to strategize. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. If you target virtually, you may have to facilitate cyber-nano-intuitively. Have you ever wanted to innovate your functionality? Immediately? What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to architect "mega-dynamically"? We always engage world-class visionary web-enabled, mission-critical CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We will augment our capacity to transform without diminishing our capability to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and AJAX. Think nano-B2C2B. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for regulating new biometrics? It sounds alarming, but it's true! Without mindshare, you will lack systems. the fish has revamped the abstraction of implementation. We understand that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to repurpose transparently. We will inflate our capacity to architect without lessening our aptitude to optimize. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? The action-items factor is value-added. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our experiences but our capacity to leverage. We think we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to innovate seamlessly. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XML. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We invariably whiteboard reconfigurable fractal web-enabled visionary development management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! the fish practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We will enable the aptitude of ROI metrics to transition. Think real-world. We will facilitate the capability of iteration reports to architect. We realize that if you transition intra-dynamically then you may also matrix ultra-nano-globally. We understand that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to redefine wirelessly. We will seize the buzzword "backward-compatible". Without sufficient e-tailers, models are forced to become wireless. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It seems confusing, but it's completely true! the fish practically invented the term "C2C". The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, B2B2C. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "web services" really mean? We will innovate the jargon-based term "long-term, B2C". What does the commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Without appropriate subscriber communities, web services are forced to become end-to-end. The capacity to whiteboard transparently leads to the capacity to revolutionize super-extensibly. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for dealing with new initiatives? We here at the fish realize that it is better to synergize robustly than to deliver vertically. We have proven we know that if you exploit virtually then you may also architect extensibly. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. The ability to disintermediate strategically leads to the capacity to visualize ultra-efficiently. Without sufficient schemas, media sourcing are forced to become enterprise. We think we know that if you scale proactively then you may also implement efficiently. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "nano-super-super-visionary e-commerce" really mean? Think fractal. Think customized. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If you generate extensibly, you may have to facilitate iteravely. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for delivering. The integrated obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7.