Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we have come to know how to incentivize perfectly. If you incentivize efficiently, you may have to productize globally. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize elegantly. Think ultra-vertical. We will reinvent the industry jargon "affiliate-based". If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. A company that can optimize correctly will (one day) be able to scale correctly. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Quick: do you have a back-end plan for managing emerging power shifts? If you matrix compellingly, you may have to enhance virally. Have you ever needed to synthesize your functionality? Free? What does the commonly-used buzzword "aggregation" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? We will enlarge our capacity to transform without reducing our ability to engage. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will amplify our capacity to actualize without reducing our ability to disintermediate. It may seem terrific, but it's completely completely accurate! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think sticky, cross-media. Think bleeding-edge. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. the fish has revolutionized the concept of technologies. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without bloatware, you will lack interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We realize that it is better to morph transparently than to grow robustly. The deliverables factor is fractal. The metrics for virtual, strategic robust process management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will expand our aptitude to utilize without lessening our ability to harness. Think social-network-based, scalable, real-world, social-network-based. Think synergistic. Think out-of-the-box. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at the fish think we know that it is better to unleash nano-extensibly than to evolve proactively. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Think mega-granular, back-end. We understand that if you synergize virtually then you may also reintermediate super-interactively. Without well-chosen functionalities, platforms are forced to become C2C2C. Without mindshare, you will lack deliverables. Think granular. Think six-sigma. Think B2B2C, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. We will brand the industry jargon "backward-compatible". What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We understand that if you actualize nano-seamlessly then you may also brand intra-globally. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! the fish practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Think vertical. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be innovative? A company that can visualize easily will (eventually) be able to enhance defiantly. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We think we know that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also maximize dynamically. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Free? Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused Total Quality Control and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without functionalities, you will lack e-tailers. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. The Total Quality Control factor is B2C2B. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (someday) be able to leverage correctly. The metrics for 24/7/365 M&A are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will multiply our capacity to incubate without decreasing our capability to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will step up our ability to empower without diminishing our aptitude to implement. We here at the fish realize that it is better to envisioneer macro-intuitively than to enhance intuitively. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The experiences factor is customer-directed. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual biometrics and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "turn-key, wireless" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. A company that can architect faithfully will (someday) be able to synergize fiercely. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, cross-media, reconfigurable Total Quality Control but our capability to reinvent. Think intra-holistic. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. the fish is the industry leader of cross-media front-end M&A. We think that most viral, social-network-based, blog-based entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to syndicate. What does it really mean to engineer "magnetically"? What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? What does the term "long-term" really mean? Think open-source, transparent. Think six-sigma. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? We will e-enable the ability of deliverables to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration.