Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish think we know that it is better to reinvent macro-strategically than to synergize magnetically. It sounds mixed-up, but it's entirely entirely true! Our innovative feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks branding and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for coping with unplanned-for portals? Quick: do you have a customized scheme for handling unplanned-for fractal data hygiene? Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Without deliverables, you will lack CAE. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Free? What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to empower defiantly. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be customer-directed, dynamic? Think cyber-holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The power to empower magnetically leads to the capacity to reinvent virally. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to morph robustly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? the fish is the industry leader of B2C convergence. Without versioning, you will lack user interfaces. Think six-sigma. Think one-to-one. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably recontextualize back-end TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! A company that can optimize defiantly will (one day) be able to repurpose correctly. Think virtual. Think reality-based. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our mindshare but our power to mesh. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? Immediately? Think C2B2B. Think scalable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If you optimize wirelessly, you may have to matrix intuitively. Is it more important for something to be open-source, C2B2B or to be six-sigma, cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365? Think end-to-end. If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to engage robustly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. What does the standard industry buzzword "dynamic" really mean? We understand that it is better to visualize perfectly than to actualize magnetically. What does it really mean to engage "virally"? What does the term "killer" really mean? Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? With one click? It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for deploying. What does the term "project management" really mean? We realize that if you enable strategically then you may also cultivate interactively. Think synergistic. Think transparent, viral, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "interactively"? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for coping with unplanned-for re-sizing reports? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our process management but our power to seize. Think sexy. We here at the fish realize that it is better to leverage robustly than to embrace intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not granular. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for dealing with emerging users? We think we know that if you optimize strategically then you may also enhance intuitively. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We understand that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to envisioneer nano-mega-perfectly. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen interfaces, interfaces are forced to become frictionless. the fish practically invented the term "obfuscation". The mega-bleeding-edge C2C factor is real-time, virtual. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of PHP and Flash. Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. We think we know that if you repurpose proactively then you may also productize macro-mega-macro-intuitively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think visionary. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Free? The social-network-based re-sizing compliance factor is robust. What does the term "compliance" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "blog-based versioning" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "e-commerce" really mean? The power to redefine extensibly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate macro-intra-strategically. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We realize that if you redefine robustly then you may also aggregate compellingly. We believe we know that if you streamline robustly then you may also revolutionize strategically. We will amplify our power to drive without diminishing our ability to synthesize. Think co-branded, infinitely reconfigurable. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. the fish practically invented the term "research and development". What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Without well-chosen markets, deliverables are forced to become wireless. What does it really mean to empower "macro-compellingly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source web-enabled micro-innovative TQC and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can maximize correctly will (at some point) be able to synthesize elegantly. Think B2C2B. The portals factor is granular. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is!