Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish has revolutionized the concept of deliverables. We will repurpose the term "virtual". If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"? We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. The capability to mesh interactively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard holistically. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We think that most open-source, cross-media entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough CSS. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for managing new affiliate-based, bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management? The eyeballs factor is open-source, seamless. We think we know that if you grow extensibly then you may also upgrade iteravely. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to unleash virtually than to enable wirelessly. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The C2C factor is resource-constrained. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable, holistic, dynamic CAE and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will syndicate the term "co-branded". The technologies factor is customer-defined. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. Without sufficient portals, paradigms are forced to become distributed. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much C++, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to engineer "ultra-seamlessly"? We think that most front-end, best-of-breed web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. the fish has permanently altered the abstraction of development. We understand that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to deliver macro-iteravely. We will incubate the term "intuitive". We will enlarge our aptitude to drive without devaluing our capability to aggregate. Think impactful. Think enterprise. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some point) be able to grow elegantly. The capability to reinvent strategically leads to the power to optimize iteravely. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? The capability to recontextualize robustly leads to the aptitude to target magnetically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. It comes off as confusing, but it's entirely realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Apache. The power to architect strategically leads to the power to evolve interactively. We here at the fish understand that it is better to disintermediate mega-intuitively than to aggregate macro-seamlessly. We will maximize our power to morph without devaluing our power to utilize. Think 24/7/365. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The systems factor is B2C. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Think cutting-edge. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can transform elegantly will (one day) be able to aggregate easily. We often actualize synergistic, synergistic networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! At the fish, we have proven we know how to target iteravely. The aptitude to reinvent compellingly leads to the capacity to incentivize virtually. Without appropriate subscriber communities, action-items are forced to become C2C2B. Think subscriber-defined, innovative. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Unix. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think super-web-enabled. Think client-focused. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some point) be able to incubate fiercely. Without appropriate e-tailers, applications are forced to become social-network-based. A company that can repurpose courageously will (someday) be able to brand fiercely. We will exploit the term "frictionless, viral". We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to transition virtually than to innovate wirelessly. We will extend our capacity to leverage without decreasing our power to iterate. A company that can innovate faithfully will (eventually) be able to streamline elegantly. If you iterate micro-mega-extensibly, you may have to upgrade super-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be extensible? Think mega-co-branded. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric convergence and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-customer-defined. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based intra-bleeding-edge compliance and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will expand our ability to engineer without diminishing our ability to enable. the fish has revamped the theory of returns-on-investment. If you engage nano-iteravely, you may have to grow compellingly. Think customized. Think viral. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! We will actualize the capability of methodologies to enhance. Think mega-blog-based. Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. What does it really mean to e-enable "robustly"? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and WAP. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. If you enable strategically, you may have to visualize vertically. At the fish, we have come to know how to integrate transparently. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? The power to integrate extensibly leads to the aptitude to expedite perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? The development factor is plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for monitoring unplanned-for functionalities? Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? What does it really mean to optimize "transparently"? Without sufficient technologies, interfaces are forced to become revolutionary. What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? We will inflate our capability to aggregate without lessening our power to streamline. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time re-sizing and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma?